There is nothing sadder to me than hearing people give up on love.
Today’s video is a little different from recent ones. I really hope it resonates and that despite the hardships I know you’ve been through, you can make this area a priority in going on to fulfil your potential.
Whether they go right or wrong, relationships mean potential.
Relationships give us so much opportunity to find more out about who we are, to better understand human nature, and to share experiences and different ways of living.
If you’ve found yourself falling into the same cycles again and again with men, I know it’s not easy. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In making a slight shift to your mindset, you can go on to create an entirely different set of outcomes.
Try these 4 steps to break the pattern you’re currently experiencing…
1) Define the goal
If our goal is to get it right every time, that’s a problem. If that’s your mentality, you’re going to give up because you’ll never win.
The goal has to be…
*I’m going to be the person I want to be in this world.*
Start by being who you want to be, and then filter out the people who don’t accept that.
2) Live by YOUR standards
Allow yourself to live up to the standards you’ve set yourself for how you want to express yourself.
If someone takes this the wrong way, that’s fine, you can move on and look for someone else who will be better suited to them.
3) Chunk it down
Instead of thinking ‘this is going to be my life-partner forever’ or ‘this is the person I’m going to get married to and have kids with’, we have to chunk down.
These things you want are the byproducts of incredible moments with someone.
Getting married is the byproduct of incredible moments that lead two people to a place where they want to get married.
Having kids is the byproduct of magical moments where you feel a shared intimacy that makes you want something that’s greater than the two of you.
4) Strive for MOMENTS
We have to look to achieve MOMENTS, not grand visions for how our lives could be with someone twenty years down the road.
The big vision creates overwhelm and makes us feel like a failure every time we have a false-start.
Instead focus on moments of shared connection.
Moments like…
–I want to have a smile with someone.
–I want to have an unusual conversation over a coffee.
–I want to sit at a bar, flirt and have fun.
It starts here. The moments are the building blocks.
Just focus on bringing your all to the moments.
If you’re sitting here reading this thinking, ‘I’ve given up, I can’t do this anymore, it’s over…’, don’t even think about the big vision right now.
You don’t need to take on the burden of ‘going out to find a life-partner’. But I do need you to have the courage to say, “I’m going to go and have a great moment.”
Don’t deny yourself connection because one part of you feels that there isn’t hope, or that it isn’t going to go right.
Instead put your excitement into the moments in front of you that could turn into something magical if you’re open enough to let them happen.
###
I’m really looking to get this video around to as many people as possible. If you know just one person that this could help, it would mean the world to me for you to share it with them.
hi Mathew
I loved your video it was inspiring just like your older videos .. and yes I love the long videos without any cuts >> thank you you made me smile :)
I like videos un-cut and more organic, but the other videos can be fun too. Personally, it just feels more authentic when it’s straight from the heart and un-cut.
*Note, I do like the bloopers that are included sometimes at the end. :)
Matthew,
I love and adore you and I am so grateful to have found out about you. Once again, you have mastered an amazing topic and given great advice. While I don’t necessarily feel like “I give up”, I have before. I think this video rings very true and I do believe whole heartedly it comes down to that core confidence that you are always talking about. If someone has that, believe in themselves then they will believe that the one true person for them will come into their lives and “giving up” will not be an option. I’ll be seeing you soon on your retreat but I wanted to let you know I enjoyed this video. Thank you! AND….cutting or not cutting your videos and splicing them however you do doesn’t make a difference to me :) BUT I do love the bloopers. Please do as many of those as you wish! They are fantastic! ha! – xo
Hi Matt,
Personally, I loved that you spoke with passion and didn’t cut the video. All very pivotal points for people to think about.
Thank you. It’s great to hear your take on this subject.
Best wishes from Australia.
Selina
I am not going to pretend like I haven’t felt that way, I know that after a couple of bad dates you just feel like theirs no one out there for you. I have reolize that when it comes to love it can’t be rushed. I’ve seen people find their true love in their 50s, I hope that’s not me…lol. Now I see things differently, see I would ask GOD to bring a wonderful man into my life, but looking into my life I don’t think I have time. With work and school I don’t think I can give him 100% of me, I don’t think I could give him 50%. Sometimes we fell like there is no one out there for us but its not like that, we just aren’t ready for our other half. Just be patient if you have not found the love of your life it’s because one of you isn’t ready. So before going out there to find him make sure you take care of yourself first and wait for him, because anything good is worth waiting.
I get what you’re saying, but I’m tired. So much of what you talk about is so foreign, it feels like way too much work to try and learn it at this point in my life. It’s just easier to be by myself.
Tiffany – please don’t give up… You can learn at any point of your life if you keep positive… Through GTG and the people I have met in the past 6 months I have managed to change my outlook on life and that is the only thing you have to do, everything else will come as a result… If you want to, get in touch with me through here and we’ll go for a coffee and a nice chat…
I really like the video without the cuts. Until you explained I thought “this is honest, this is raw and his passion on the subject is speaking”. I would rather have a few more seconds, without the cuts (which I find distracting and wonder what you said wrong). Your passion is what makes your videos fantastic!
I liked the longer video. Great with more information. Always love hearing more from you Matthew if possible!
Although I like the cuts of the other videos. Keeps the points at the forefront.
So all in all I like both styles, guess it just depends on the content that each editing style is suited for.
Keep sending them out. You help us all to create and grown so much!
Thanks! XO
Liked the longer version – and to tell you the truth, I was just a teensy bit distracted by that thingy over your eye, but I was able to refocus and move on :) It made you look more rugged anyway. Really. Seriously.
GRRRRRR, THERE IS NO WAY TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST, IT’S SPAM AT IT’S WORST.
Wowww Matthew you are truly amazing…came across a video of yours a week ago and we’ll it was truly inspirational for me…really helped to put a smile on my face from the very first second i watched that video. I take a look at certain things in life in a different way now. All thanks to you. Your videos are truly amazing, doesn’t matter how long but it’s always nice to listen to you so keep it up with the videos, you’re doing a fantastic job :D
Pay no attention to me….I’m trying to see if I got something figured out before I have to get tech support involved…
Shoot!!! Alright I need help!!!
Could someone be so kind as to tell me how you get your picture next to your name???
I’m not liking the little grey and white avatar…thanks a bunch!!!
Yes! Profile photos come up automatically on most blogs if you register at http://gravatar.com
Hope that helps!
IT
I like the longer video, but I think that a mixture of the longer and shorter ones will be more beneficial in the long run to us ladies. And Gents if you’re out there. This is exactly what I needed at this very moment. I’m so glad I found you Matt!
Aloha Matt,
Sending/sharing to my brother and dear friend. THANKS!!!!!!
Matt, I liked the video just the way it was…..even though a bit long, I did other things and continued to listen…thanks for the inspiration as always :)
Sent this to a guy friend of mine and told him to reverse the “he”‘s and “she”‘s.
Hello Matt, this was a very timely video as my partner in a very new relationship just had a serious conversation with me about what “I want.” I am divorced, he has never been married and neither of us have children but I want children. So, the conversation was about wedding, house, and baby all in a very short time because I am 42 and he is 48. I think “chunk it down”, enjoying the moments while we grow closer is such great advice. I was getting a little frustrated even though in the back of my mind, I know that you cannot speed up time or fast-forward moments necessary to make a lasting relationship.
I just want to THANK YOU so much for this heartfelt video!
Just loved no word’s to said anything.
Just amazing.just want to say you can make more longer video I will more hours, hours iI will more happy. Love you. Take care
Just loved no word’s to said anything.
Just amazing.just want to say you can make more longer video more then hours, hours I will more happy. Love you. Take care
It was awesome you made me cry