There is nothing sadder to me than hearing people give up on love.
Today’s video is a little different from recent ones. I really hope it resonates and that despite the hardships I know you’ve been through, you can make this area a priority in going on to fulfil your potential.
Whether they go right or wrong, relationships mean potential.
Relationships give us so much opportunity to find more out about who we are, to better understand human nature, and to share experiences and different ways of living.
If you’ve found yourself falling into the same cycles again and again with men, I know it’s not easy. But it doesn’t have to be this way. In making a slight shift to your mindset, you can go on to create an entirely different set of outcomes.
Try these 4 steps to break the pattern you’re currently experiencing…
1) Define the goal
If our goal is to get it right every time, that’s a problem. If that’s your mentality, you’re going to give up because you’ll never win.
The goal has to be…
*I’m going to be the person I want to be in this world.*
Start by being who you want to be, and then filter out the people who don’t accept that.
2) Live by YOUR standards
Allow yourself to live up to the standards you’ve set yourself for how you want to express yourself.
If someone takes this the wrong way, that’s fine, you can move on and look for someone else who will be better suited to them.
3) Chunk it down
Instead of thinking ‘this is going to be my life-partner forever’ or ‘this is the person I’m going to get married to and have kids with’, we have to chunk down.
These things you want are the byproducts of incredible moments with someone.
Getting married is the byproduct of incredible moments that lead two people to a place where they want to get married.
Having kids is the byproduct of magical moments where you feel a shared intimacy that makes you want something that’s greater than the two of you.
4) Strive for MOMENTS
We have to look to achieve MOMENTS, not grand visions for how our lives could be with someone twenty years down the road.
The big vision creates overwhelm and makes us feel like a failure every time we have a false-start.
Instead focus on moments of shared connection.
Moments like…
–I want to have a smile with someone.
–I want to have an unusual conversation over a coffee.
–I want to sit at a bar, flirt and have fun.
It starts here. The moments are the building blocks.
Just focus on bringing your all to the moments.
If you’re sitting here reading this thinking, ‘I’ve given up, I can’t do this anymore, it’s over…’, don’t even think about the big vision right now.
You don’t need to take on the burden of ‘going out to find a life-partner’. But I do need you to have the courage to say, “I’m going to go and have a great moment.”
Don’t deny yourself connection because one part of you feels that there isn’t hope, or that it isn’t going to go right.
Instead put your excitement into the moments in front of you that could turn into something magical if you’re open enough to let them happen.
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I’m really looking to get this video around to as many people as possible. If you know just one person that this could help, it would mean the world to me for you to share it with them.
Hey Matt!
I really liked this video! Because with or without cuts, the authenticity and passion of every video you put up is there. And I think that’s all that matters. As far as this video went, I enjoyed hearing more of what you had to say. So I think the amount of time for it was perfect, especially since the information was very applicable to my life right now. Today I will go out and create great moments and be fully enveloped by them. Thanks for the great advice!
Much love and warmth,
Stephanie R
i really liked the sincerity of this video and the topic…i was swearing off men after having a man actually hand me my card back after asking for my number…it was very strange and confusing. He seemed confused for some reason as well. The truth is that i was not interested in him…just getting out there….and my second time out, i struck out again. So thank you Mathew for this video. You are sincere and i just want to “eat you up” xo
Matthew,
Yes, I enjoyed this piece longer and uncut. Very informative!! A lot of useful information!! Thanks!!! Very helpful…. needed this today for sure!!
I liked it this way! Felt more authentic I think:)
I enjoyed the fact that you did not cut any of the video you put to air in the world of wide web.
As for noticing your very small injury from the boxing ring, I did not until you pointed it out. My concentration was more on the message you are putting out there and your smile!!! I am book marking this so that i can return to this page as often as I need to.
The way you share your ideas is perfect. As for me, the form means nothing, but the content is very important. I enjoy your video, it helps me not to give up.
I loved this advice Matthew! I’m always thinking of the ‘big picture’ of trying to get a guy, and I’ve never thought of just having good moments before. And that’s a great way to think! Much more positive that way, and I like that. I’m going to think that way from now on! I hope!
Loved the video! Hopefully your cut above your eye gets better soon!
Regarding the video, I did like the long take. It was nice to get a long video, although any video you put out, is great :)
Hey Matthew,
It feels weird but whenever I feel like ‘that’s it, no more guys’, I will receive your emails and the exact topic I needed. You are definitely our little angel always motivating us and encouraging too! I used to have big hopes all the time when I’m out with guys, like if I went out with the guy I find myself noticing for traits whether this guy can be capable to be my future partner and most of the time the answer will be ‘NO’. So I completely cut all ties with him, I know it’s a really bad way. I need to stop doing that and also to stop being so judgement to all. I will try your new ways and see if I can ‘chunk it down’, it might be a little difficult as I’m so used to doing that but I will try definitely. Thank you for your great uncut long video which is more preferable as it feels you are connecting directly to me. (:
Matthew, no video from you is EVER long enough. I like the long shot, its very honest. I have just been on a date after using your techniques to strike up a conversation at a live music event last week. He just text me that ‘it was lovely to take a walk with you but I did not feel the butterflies around you’. I think that is honest but in fact he told me he was looking for ‘the one’. I text back that ‘I don’t wait to feel butterflies but if he ever would like a cinema companion or the like to let me know’. There was a time that would have made me feel a bit low but I have brushed it off and put it down to experience. Keep these videos going… please.
1st, the continuous shot was perfect for this subject, other times videos are the best with the cut (great editing btw); 2nd ‘tis no fair, u gives us mor then we deserve.” :) THUNX So much valuable info for pennies, or rather free. One day, I will buy all your books!
This video led me to a thought on how hard it is to build a house but easy to destroy it; yet you’re saying, “Go and build that house in spite of all odds until it becomes a palace.” Thank you for that thought, Matthew, amazing and inspiring! You have a brilliant mind that is written by God’s hand. Thanks to those guys too who work with you :)
Thanks for the video. Loved d fact that it was not cut. It’s a freaky coincidence that u are the fourth person today to say do not give up on love. I had given up and today my cousin, my aunt and my best friend have told me not to give up on love. Thanks Matt!!! I am going to focus on creating special moments
I just have to say….YOU’RE THE MAN!!! I love this video and I’m planning to share it with all my single friends. Thank you for letting me see things in a different way.
:-) X
Hi Matt,
Such a good refresher! I’ve changed my blueprint last year, got it wrong a few times, got discouraged many times but finally rocking life :).
About the video: both cuts and no cuts, I like variety and as long it is as fun and authentic!
I thought that was probably the best video clip you’ve done Mat and I did wonder when the cuts would start. I thought it was compassionate, encouraging and realistic. It’s true you need courage and vulnerability in relationships. You won’t always (probably hardly ever) feel that you got it right but that’s not the point. I don’t think I’ve ever really heard that view point inquite that way before; it’s a very liberating one.
The cuts often make for a manic Mat; I prefer the calmer one and I didn’t even notice the cut above the eye!!!
Thank u for getting me to look at things from a better different perspective :) loved the video, has made me think maybe I’m not done with love, I will look to have great moments & not over think things & dwell on
Thank u for getting me to look at things from a better different perspective :) loved the video, has made me think maybe I’m not done with love, I will look to have great moments & not over think things & dwell on events that have happened in the past. Thank u SO much!!! :)
Love it! Would not change anything about this video! Really enjoy the longer videos because I feel that you are able to expand on topics and really provide greater detail. I guess it depends on the topic–some need longer videos and others can be shorter. You always seem to gauge them correctly. Never adverse to hear you talk longer though–it’s like a mini seminar!lol I have started to get to that point where I just enjoy the moments in life and stop having such great expectations for every person I meet. Your videos and book have really given me a renewed desire to get out there and just be myself without worrying about so much what others think; the information in your book has provided me with a very positive feeling overall and I am excited again regarding the future! Thanks ever so much! I must say I guessed it right and I am so glad to hear that you sustained a “battle wound” in the ring and not from an angry person outside the ring! Hope it feels better each day!
Hi Matt! I really enjoyed this video because I have heard so many people talk about giving up, when all they really needed was a slight change in perspective. I didn’t mind that this video was longer at all! I think that sometimes with longer videos people tend to lose interest, but I think you remedied that by actually having worthwhile things to say…haha:) Thanks for the great advice, as always!
Hi Matthew!
I like the video uncut. The information you shared is priceless! Thank you!
P.S I didn’t notice the mark until you point it out:) Kind of a sweet and funny way for you to say it :)
xx
Plamena
I really liked your Not cut Video! Thank you! A good topic you chose. Just right for Me. :-)