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Why Is He A Player And Will He Ever Change?

Hey guys,

Check out this video first as it’s an example of what I’m going to be talking about in today’s video:

Now some of you may have found this guy shocking and you’re wondering what this has to do with understanding men in general. Paul is certainly an extreme example of a player, but in order for us to have a greater understanding of the typical guy, we have to look at such examples from the outermost points on the spectrum and find out what is really driving these types of guys.

As I mentioned in the video, Paul is now in a serious, long-term, and committed relationship, and after hearing this I decided to track him down and find out exactly what had happened that made the shift for him to want to be in a relationship.

This interview is going to be included as just one of the many bonuses in my brand new, online programme, and so Thursday is going to be your chance to get your hands on it in full.

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228 Replies to “Why Is He A Player And Will He Ever Change?”

  • Mathew, I have to say that you are great. Even thou, I haven’t bought your program yet, you are still able to deliver a genuine advice on this weird aspect of human being…dating.

    Any advice for single moms? Would that be a chapter on your book? Is it wrong to say I would never like to get married…but have an eternal boyfriend. Just ’cause I think there will be more things to be exited about, other than laundry…or supermarket trips.

    By the way, I appreciate the fact that you take the time to interact in your blog, and answered every single comment. I think all the ladies here can appreciate that.

    Thank you sooo much, It has been incredibly helpful to watch your blogs, I will continue to follow you for more advice.


  • Hi Matthew!

    I’m new to your site and definitely a dabbler. I love you’re videos and positive advice you share with the world.

    Now regarding this particular blog, what would you say to a woman who was a little like that guy in the video? I’m a woman in my 30’s and by this point in my life, I feel many women act exactly the same way. We choose to “hook up” with men with also the same standards like if a man sleeps with you too soon, they are not to be taken too seriously.

    If you are dealing with 2 parties that have similar viewpoints on hooking up,, what kind of advice can you give them..

    I feel like I’ve been guilty of this double standard and then get mad at myself for starting to like someone but maybe slept with them too fast.

    Just to end, thank you for all your videos and advice. Whether I agree with them or not, I respect and admire any person spreading love and positive energy into the world and you are awesome!

    Much love,

    Sarah from NYC :)

  • Hi Matthew! Interesting video, and I didn’t get upset bc of the guy’s comments in the interview either.I was kind of surprised that he finds it that often in us woman that kind of behavior though: prioritizing competition instead of something valuable in life. And speaking of which, can you give me an example of how is it adding value to a significant other’s life? Might sound obvious but I’m not sure it is.
    Great posts, thank you!
    Ana (Mexico City)

  • Well to be honnest my best friends did the same thing they kept a journal and siad they had slept with about 94 guys and they were aspiring for higher one was 57 the other 22. I on the other had have tormented my self with celebacy to prove an ex boyfriend wrong Well more like the love of my life but thats another story. So this did not surprise me, all humans seek gratification and sometimes sex is the way to get it or the way some people get it. and if you ask me some of the most lovely people in the world. I have nothing to really say just that women do it tooo and it doesn’t make them bad people as long as two adults consent but I dont consent. morally this video is confusing. Yet its funny just today I was thinking that Im going to go on a date once a week to find my mate and I thought, how do I catch a man? sex or the fake promise of it. but Im stuck if Im not the wanton women form proverbs 7:13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudentface said unto him, I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows. Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee. I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt. I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon. Come , let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves. Read the rest yourself kjb then how do I Get a date?

  • Thank you, Matthew. You’re so dead-on accurate about the psychology of men in a way no one else is. I hope you send out another email on Thursday to everyone just in case something pops up causing us to forget to check your site. I am looking forward to finally being able to take an online course since I’m in the Washington DC area and can’t afford the expense of traveling, even though I know it would benefit me greatly.

  • Dear Matthew;

    I see how many responses you have been able to make and, for that alone, you are wonderful. I will be a “dabbler” for a few more months (unfortunately) as I am currently severely low on cash. In the mean time, I will ask you the same question I posed to you in an earlier Forum. Do you believe in “true love” or even fate? I know this is purely philosophical, but I would like to know your take on it. Thanks again for the great tips!

  • Hi Matt….Love your blogs i have learned so much from them…I check my emails every day to see if you have posted any more, you can not believe the huge smile i have on my face every time there is one….
    I wasnt shock about Paul and if any one was…well i guess the truth hurts, i cant wait till thursday…
    I live in Australia and am wondering if you ever consider coming over here to do one of your weekends seminars??? Am so sure you will be booked for every weekend…with me attending the very first one….We need you downunder….

  • The guy in the video didn’t shock me in the least. I work for a VERY large airline and in my department (at the airport I work at), I have 400 coworkers. 380, of which, are male. Because we don’t have any contact with customers, we often don’t censor ourselves for eachother. So, 8.5 hours a day, 5 days a week, I’m surrounded by men who constantly talk about all the women they want to sleep with (in courser terms, of course), how much of a “player” they are, and they also compare (and congratulate eachother) how awful they treat their wives, girlfriends, or women in general.

    So, the guy in the video was pretty disney compared to what I experience every single day at work. It has actually made me numb to the possibility that there are men that aren’t that way. I wish I didn’t feel that way, but when I’m constantly around that kind of mentality, it sort of sinks in and makes me not want to pursue any sort of relationship with anyone.

    I do think your videos are extremely helpful for someone like me, but the hard part is actually figuring out who is worth pursuing.

  • hi Matthew
    maybe i am from the first group u said…
    cuz i cant come to ur seminar and far away from u
    i am really happy to receive ur Emails and videos..
    u speak clearly for foreign languages and i wanna thank you..
    i am checking my mailbox everyday to find u..
    i am attractive but i think ur advices can help me to be more successful…thx a lot and keep in touch..
    bye now

  • Hi :)
    guilty as charged for being a dabbler. Can’t wait for the seventh though! I am 22 and, even though i don’t feel like i am ready for a relationship at the moment i enjoy being informed. I find your topics quiet interesting.

    See you on Thursday :).

  • I can safely say I for whatever crazy reason am obsessed with one player we’ve been friends then ‘sort of’ together and Im really not the kind of girl to wait around for a guy i’m only eighteen! men are so annoying!

  • Thank you, Matthew! All your videos really make me reflect on my life, and why I’m still single. I can’t wait till Thursday!

  • Hi Matthew, awesome stuff as usual! Do you explain anyware what EXACTLY is the VALUE that a woman can put into a man’s life – this must be something that vary greatly from man to man? Regards!

  • Matthew be hiding his sense of humor which we can see in his bloopers. He’s so funny! “Ma!” That’s the way I call my mom.
    I am nothing like those girls the player described, yet I guess that’s why I always feel ignored at parties-because I’m not dressing in stilettos and slutty outfits. It is very hard for me to find decent guys that like a woman that doesn’t dress like Kim Kardashian. But when I do find one, there is usually no incident of cheating in our relationship on his part. I guess you can’t have everything. It would be nice if I could attract them easily without looking like a clown and just being myself.

  • Matthew,

    I’m really trying to take in all of what you’ve said. I’m definitely not the type of woman who presents herself as sexual or flirtatious, but how is Paul to say that that is the biggest factor in why women are single when it seems that those types of women are always the ones guys are attracted to. I know he goes back to say that men don’t actually want that for a long term relationship, but what’s a girl to do when she has to wait for a man she’s interested in to see that. Obviously Paul had to take all those years of having sex with random women (pretty much) to see exactly what he wanted, but if I know what I want, how long am I supposed to wait for my male counterpart to mature and see this too?? I just feel that it’s a losing battle.

    I thank you for all of the tips and advice you’ve given us over the past couple of years. I’m surprised that you don’t have your own TV show yet. I’m sure everyone would appreciate your advice right at their fingertips. Not to mention how much of a hit you’d be. ;)

  • Hi Matt

    I agree with Paul about not putting women on a pedestal.Not just in relationships but in any area of our lives the surest way to diminish our chance at something is to generously overestimate it and make it larger than life.Our own credibility has no value before its all consuming magnificence.
    With that tendency all is impossible.
    Very important is the conviction that it is meant to be had and you might as well be its owner.

    Super exited about Thursday. I am just curious how much more awesome you can get!


  • Thank you very much for everything!
    Thank for working so hard to keep in touch! I (we) really appreciate that! I follow your videos and your blog since one month and I learned sooo much, unbelieveable!
    Thanks again!looking forward to thursday!:)

  • You know whats funny :), just the other day I was talking with my friend about the player tipe,why does he do some things that hurt, and what makes him tick :) (that insight would be life changing),and so do I think that you are psychic :),because I to have some ,,trouble,, with a player, and I realy dont know how to handle him :).
    I cant wait for the event on Thursday .
    OH,and what you said about adding value to his life,about that i want to know more :).

  • Hi Matt!

    Is this online programme available for a 17 year old?
    Or am I too young?

    x Gabriëlle

  • Matthew!

    I just wanted to tell you that my best friend and I are trying all your advices, and we are having a lot of fun doing it so! We don’t take things really seriously right now, but, guy, everything you say works! So thank you for making our lives more interesting! Hope everything goes fine, and I can’t wait for the 7th!

    Lot of love from Spain!

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