Why Is He A Player And Will He Ever Change?

Hey guys,

Check out this video first as it’s an example of what I’m going to be talking about in today’s video:

Now some of you may have found this guy shocking and you’re wondering what this has to do with understanding men in general. Paul is certainly an extreme example of a player, but in order for us to have a greater understanding of the typical guy, we have to look at such examples from the outermost points on the spectrum and find out what is really driving these types of guys.

As I mentioned in the video, Paul is now in a serious, long-term, and committed relationship, and after hearing this I decided to track him down and find out exactly what had happened that made the shift for him to want to be in a relationship.

This interview is going to be included as just one of the many bonuses in my brand new, online programme, and so Thursday is going to be your chance to get your hands on it in full.

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228 Replies to “Why Is He A Player And Will He Ever Change?”

    1. I am dating one right now and he seems very attached to me. The secret is keep the vibe on and makes him wonder what’s going to happen next. I am sure each of us have so much craziness and fun things that we would like to do. Challenge him, make him do masculine things and add some value to his life once you spot the opportunity. So far things goes pretty well. Wish me luck. This is the metrosexual type of man that once said to me he could get a different woman to go out with him every week like that. Let’s see then… :)would I crack his Paul version or not.

  • hello matthew,
    i found it very interesting about what you said specially the part about ‘add value to his life’. i realise that some players are afraid to get committed inspite they got someone sincere and it is the case for me. i just came out from a break up and i don’t really understand why but he did told me he have feelings but there’s still something pulling him back. The way someone look at you tells you about what he feels. somewhere i think i mess up because maybe i haven’t been able to proof him i can add value to his life. i’m confuse and i don’t know what steps to take to make him change his mind

    looking forward to hear you,
    Nad :)

  • Is it really that bad what he said, about any of it really? I didn’t find any of that video offensive. So he likes sex. And they all were so shocked at the comment he made about watching the girl shove her to thick thighs in jeans that are to tight that makes him realize she’s like everyone else trying to get by, I didn’t see anything wrong with that. I mean maybe it’s because I never really plan on getting married or having a serious relationship that it doesn’t bother me but I don’t see why they were getting so offended by it.

  • so he basically is hungry for lady parts until he meets miss Right, who has more value than all the other chicks. Sounds like a familiar Disney-Princess story to me. I just hope that there are enough miss Rights out there to accommodate every single player.

    1. also, I think he can truly train women to become player-retaining miss Right-machines. He can teach you how to become valuable and necessary. If you have a player boyfriend/ lover who is thinking of dumping you, or has dumped you, then you obviously have no value to offer to him, and that is inherently your fault. This wonder-course will indeed teach you how to attain value! :)

  • You can never tell a real player their manipulative skills are way too complex when you start dating someone you either like them or you don’t and sometimes you won’t know them till the false self wears off which most played don’t get to see. My best friend/ex is a master player he is handsome charming sensitive and has the gift of gab to boot he will make any woman feel special with the attention good morning beautiful good night sweet dreams kinda play the victim to get the attention of the motherly figure from you and you won’t even know it I’ve seen it I knew my ex was this way before I was with him I accepted him and after two years he couldn’t carry the guilt of hurting me so we are good friends

  • Awwwwwe, nooooooo!!! I’m too late! :(. Is this interview available perhaps in an e-book or program that needs to be purchased? If not, PLEASE include it in a program or SOMETHING so I can purchase it & listen to it too?

    I absolutely LOVE your work & your smile! :p

  • I’m confused, why would you want to coach women on how to get the player type of guy when he’s the kind of scum we should be avoiding, myself I found this person to be oozing slime out of his mouth and extremely fake, boring, and typical American trash. Only One word came to mind for me and that was, AIDS. I personally have never dated a man that even remotely comes close to this type of person. I value myself too much to even want to let anyone like this who has disrespected so many women and used them for his own needs treated them as objects. Why would you advice such an un conscious action? As women it SHOULD MATTER To us how a man has treated his previous partners in his past. This is just shameful, for you to track him down and treat him as some prize that needs to be won.

  • Hello Mathew ,
    This guy is respulsive but I think he was trying to fill an emptiness that he didn’t even know was there . I think he was using sex for the wrong reason which is why it could never fulfill him. Not everyone is going to understand why you needed to understand this guy but I think it was a great idea to interview him considering how you try to help people . I love your videos . Keep up the good work .

  • There’s this guy that use to go to the same small church as me and over the years we had many chances to talk yet never did. Sure we’d like each other’s pictures online here and there but that was all. Until he DM me out of the blue one night. I had alway thought he was attractive, so I messaged back, we messaged none stop for a few days. Until I started feeling like I was putting in most of the work in conversations and stopped replying. Out of boredom/curiosity I started talking to him again to see what would happen. Things were going even better than before, we talk every day but I’m starting to get the feeling like he’s playing me. For example, he usually only compliments me when I’m in a bikini or sports bra. Also on two separate occasions he has asked me to hang out and both times he’s the one to back out last minute. I just don’t know what to do, should I walk away or is there something I can do to get him to stop flaking so I can move on or we can move forward.

  • Women need to be VERY careful about thinking that a player like that guy can change… Players are players because they are NARCISSISTS. Which means they believe they are more important than everyone else in the world. They sleep with lots of women and dump them because they do not care if they hurt someone. They are not capable of feeling sympathy or empathy for other people. They feel nothing when they hurt you. We are not born having love, empathy and sympathy. It is taught to us by our parents. Narcissists, unfortunately, wete NOT taught those things when they were growing up. Something happened to them (bad parenting, trauma) which caused them to SKIP the stage of growth where humans develop the ability to love and have empathy. They CANNOT do it. Plain and simple. Every psychologist in the world will confirm to you that there is NO cure or effective treatment for narcissism. In fact, therapy makes these people WORSE because in therapy / counselling sessions (like marriage or family counselling) narcissists actually learn MORE about their victims and how to manipulate and abuse them more effectively! They even manipulate therapists! They have little or no emotion. And because of that, they are perpetually bored with life. So they try to see how much they can get away with, in order to make their life more thrilling. Narcissists generally use other people as a “source” for what is called “Narcissistic supply”. Supply is anything that gives them what they want/need– being admired, getting attention, being catered to, being recognized, being seen as amazing or perfect. Sometimes the supply they are after is money, expensive posessions, red-carpet living, or great social connections. But they also feel a strong need to control their victims. To think for them, decide for them. They also feel a strong drive to be obeyed, without question. They dont like it when people have individual ideas and opinions. They hate being defied. But more than anything, they hate being called on what they are, or exposed. Doing so is dangerous, they will usually go to all lengths to destroy you for that. If they think their victim is disobeying them, challenging them or disagreeing with them, or if their victim starts to see what they truly are and no longer worships them as “perfect and superior”, they will go into a fit of rage, saying horrible things and sometimes being violent. Finally, if they cannot get their victim back under cok ntrol, they will abandon their victim and replace them with a new “source of supply”. They also have NOTHING inside themselves, they are completely shallow, soulless and empty. So they “feed” from their chosen “source”, stealing away all that person’s evergy and vitality for themselves. Victims of narcissistic abuse often feel drained, numb and worn down. Even reduced in value, like their love for life has disappeared. Sometimes a player (narcissist) will find a lover (source) who is an EXCELLENT source! A source they can suck and feed on, or use, for quite a long time! Maybe she has money, or great connections, or maybe she sees him as perfect and superior… As long as she continues bending over backwards to hand him as much supply as he demands, he will keep sacking it out of her. But eventually…. She will wise up to him and the well is going to run dry. He will then blame HER for everything, drop her like a hot potatoes, and go back to his old ways. But NO, these guys DO NOT change.

    1. Hi Charissa, thank you for asking! Fast Track to Mr. Right members have exclusive access to this interview. Fast Track to Mr. Right is Matt’s subscription program that outlines the immediate steps to meeting amazing men and shows how to create attraction on a deep level. Split over six months, the course is like having Matt coach you through the process of getting your love life into shape. It contains over 15 hours of video seminar footage with Matt, along with expert interviews and recorded Q&A discussions. If you’re interested in learning more, or trying the program for free for 14 days, contact our customer support team: support@howtogettheguy.com. Have a wonderful day!- Mars

  • Hi Matt, I am meeting perhaps the most famous Player in my country for more than an year, we have a strong connection and I am meeting lots of his needs, but yet he remaines the same Player.
    The reason why I love him is that he showed me what an amazing person he is above the game (“behind the scenes”). He invested in me his time, his attention, his efforts (Last year I had a huge renovation at my apartment, he made most of the repairments of my home, we were going together, shopping furniture and etc. and even now our apartments are almost the same) and etc.
    I really need to know what else can I do, what am I missing, how to improve myself and my approach, since he pulled out recently.
    Thank you in advance!
    xxx Sonya

    1. Hi Aurora, it looks like the original video linked to Paul Janka is no longer available but I’ve updated Matthew’s response for you! Enjoy :) ~ Fi MH Team

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