He looks down at his phone and walk into the kitchen. Is he texting someone else?, she asks herself.
Now she’s suspicious.
They’ve only been dating a few weeks, but now she wonders: is he a player?
He seems to give her a ton of affection and kindness, but something in her gut says she can’t trust him. Is she being irrational? Or is he a player that she needs to drop to save herself months of anxiety and heartache?
Here are the signs he’s a keeper vs. signs he’s a player (look for a few of these – one of them on their own won’t be enough to tell):
1. He only calls at the wrong hours
You only get the late-night call on Friday when he’s already been out with his friends? That’s a red flag for him in terms of him being only interested in you.
It’s possible that you’re one of a few people he’ll call when he needs a warm bed for the night, especially if he’s keen to dash early in the morning – don’t look at how he is just once, see how he is over a few different meet-ups.
Remember: If he’s always treating you casually, it probably means he’s dating casually.
2. He lies about small things
Maybe he makes up excuses for where he was. Or lies about the reason he was late, or who he was with earlier (even if it was just his family). There are many reasons a guy may bend the truth, but the point is this: it shows he’s someone who is capable of dishonesty.
If you frequently catch up him making up excuses, then there’s a chance he could also be lying about his intentions for what he really wants out of dating right now.
3. He keeps his world hidden from you
One of the clear signs a guy could be hiding something is if he doesn’t want you to be a part of his world. Even after you’ve been dating for a couple of months, he never wants you to meet his friends, and keeps you away from important people in his life.
Naturally, this may just mean he’s a commitment-phobe, so it’s important not jump to the conclusion that he’s seeing other women. But it’s at least a sign that he’s not really investing too heavily in you, and could be looking for an easy exit.
4. He acts suspicious
He’ll never take a call in your presence. He’s always hiding his phone and is worried about who might be texting. He’s nervous about what you might be talking about with his friends.
Ok, so he might be private, but if you’ve been dating a while and he panics whenever he receives a text, or he just seems to hide unusual personal information from you, it could be because he wants to leave no trace of what he does in his time without you.
5. He’ll unapologetically flirt in front of you
People are always showing you who they are. If he does something as obvious as brazenly flirting in your vicinity, it’s very likely a part of his nature.
No, not all mere flirtation equates to a guy wanting to sleep with other women, but if you can see that the man before you clearly wants constant sexual attention from every attractive female he sees, do not ignore the siren going off in your brain. Him not caring about making you jealous in this situation is one of the surest signs he’s a player.
He should be making an effort to show other people in the room he’s with you, not making you feel like you’re disposable.
6. He doesn’t make an effort to make you feel safe in the relationship
When he sees you’re insecure or worried about his loyalty, a player will typically attack you and act evasive instead of reassuring you of where you stand.
He’ll get defensive and won’t give clear answers to simple questions like “Are we together?” or “What do you see this relationship as?” – a sure sign that something is amiss and it’s time to let this one go.