I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
Great video!!! Matt, you are truly an inspiration! My biggest insecurity is that I get so nervous talking that I get tongue-tied to the point of saying really stupid things…in my brain I know better, I do, I really do….but it is so very difficult for me.
I’m a very accomplished business woman, with great tact and talent with fellow colleagues…but be out on a “date” and I’m a mess! A MESS! Thank you for listening.
I didn’t really take to much notice of the tan either…
My insecurity is my abdomen… I’ve always had that muffin top, I look six months pregnant.
These days it’s my mysterious, dark features that are bothering me. I’m always mistaken for latina or spanish. But my parents are scandinavian/persian, and my cultural identity is 100% exclusively scandinavian. (My parents didn’t want us to be stuck between 2 different cultures, so they chose scandinavian culture as that is where we live).
I have people walking up to me here in scandinavia speaking english to me thinking I don’t speak the language.. thinking i’m a foreign exchange student. It really bothers me. I don’t have beauty problems related to my exotic looks, it’s just uncomfortable knowing that people don’t see you for who you are. That people don’t regognize you as one of their own.
My big insecurity is I shave my face once a week. I have long peach fuzz. The hairs are a mix of blond and dark. It’s my biggest secret and I feel like if a guy found out, he would leave me. Shaving is just the quickest, most invisible way of dealing with it, but its such a masculine thing that I have a fear of being found out. I can just imagine the look of horror on both of our faces as I hold the razor to my face… It’s almost comical.
Him:’Are you.. shaving.. your beard?? You have a beard??!!’ Me:’Honey.. This not what it looks like,I mean yes it is, but its just so convenient and i may have a really tiny minor beard issue but its not really that bad and OMG PLEASE DON’T LEAVE ME!!!’
Thanks for putting a new perspective on it. If a guy did find out down the line, just own it. I can still maintain my secret weekly shave, but if he found out I don’t have to be a cowering insecure mess about it. Just own it. Say cheekily ‘what, all the cool kids do it. It’s big in Japan’ or ‘that’ll teach you to knock before entering’ and leave it at that.
Becca!!! SO GREAT! Really nice answers! Quick learner and witty girl!!! Cheers, Lilli
The stretch marks on my abdomen from my food baby Gertrude… Even when I have lost the abdominal weight they are still there as a permanent reminder of my fatter years. Blah.
I have no large intestine and a bag is attached to my skin on my stomach for digested food and gas to be released. I have no control over the output. Bag fills and needs to be emptied several times a day. Gas sounds coming from my stomach that I can’t control. It’s my secret that I worry will Freak the guy out once he found out.
My insecurity is my stomach. After three children I feel like I will never get rid of the pooch. When I look at a picture of myself that is the first thig I critique myself on. I have been working hard for the past 2 years to lose weight and have even started teaching group fitness. I’m glad that I didn’t wait to be the perfect size before teaching. I know that my students can appreciate knowing I’m not in perfect shape.
I loved what you said about when you feel the need to justify your decisions is when you give your power away. I loved that life for so long and I’m so thankful I finally learned that I don’t have to justify myself. It’s a good reminder because just recently I found myself feeling the need to justify something and I feel so empowered after your video and renewed my resolve never to live that way again.
So thank you so much for that message.
A very inspiring video! Thank you!
My insecurity is my freckles. I didn’t use to think much about them until my sister said something to me about them many years ago….then I was okay with them again until a dermatologist was really rude to me about them. Not sure what that was about. No one else seems to even notice them much, though, but I definitely do. I even get compliments on them sometimes, but it’s hard to let it sink in. Sometimes I google pics of models with freckles—looking at the pics of all these beautiful women with freckles does help, actually. It puts things into perspective for me.
I have a limp because of a physical disability I was born with. I fondly refer to it as my “pimp limp” most times but I definitely still have days where I hate it and feel insecure about it, especially when people point it out and ask me about it.
Thank you for a great Sunday blog Matthew! Super thought provoking and really resonated with me.
Not editing this video was genius. You had my complete attention especially because I have always been self conscious about my crooked teeth. I feel that it has been something that has held me back from getting jobs, making friends and most of all getting the guy. I realize that the problem is not that the teeth are crooked as much as the fact that I don’t smile because of it! Thank you for putting it out there raw and unedited just like real life living.
After 3 kids my tits look like wet socks with rocks at the bottom. Wanna suck ’em?
I am insecure about my excess weight…mostly in my big stomach, but also all over in my legs, hips, face, and arms. I feel like I carry a large pumpkin in front of me with my stomach hanging so big and low. It has always made me self-conscious. I have always felt like you said, as if I have to justify, or even worse, APOLOGIZE, for my excess weight. Wow! Thanks for this video, Matthew, and kudos to you, too, Jameson (sorry if I misspelled your name). I always enjoy your videos so much and find great insight and wisdom in them. Thank you for putting yourself out there for our benefit.
Loving yourself is a gift. I read a few comments and just shook my head. Lots of comments about having children and your body not being the same anymore. Boo hoo. You have a beautiful child, is that not enough to be happy and amazed at what your body did? Health is beauty. So sorry not sorry your boobs are small or your tummy is a little flappy. We’re human. The point of life is to be real, not perfect.
My biggest insecurity is my disability. I’d give anything to have a flappy tummy and small boobs if it meant I could be healthy again. Be thankful for all that you have, for where your feet have taken you, and what your body continues to do for you everyday.
that´s not a very empathetic reply.
Ohhh Eva – try to understand… everybody looks for the situation from place they are – not you are… I don’t know why, but humans brain is made for having problems – maybe this is because we need rason to action…
For example: a lot of rich people have depression – for me it was sth that I couldn’t understand… (You have money – you can do everything you want. Why you are not happy?), but then I release that I was a bitch who is thinking only from inside my box and even not try to look to the other person box. It is easy to put labels and judgment – more difficult is try to understand….
I agree we should all be thankful for the good in our lives. However everyone lives with their own problems they may not be yours and yours may be worse, or something that may make one person insecure may not bother another. Let’s practice empathy however and realize that we are all allowed our own insecurities, it’s not a competition. It’s not healthy for anyone to compare themself to others and I think that’s part of what Matty was getting at here. Let’s try and take something positive away from this and not bring negativity to the table if we do we’ve missed the point. It seems we all could use a little more self love.
My absolute & all time favorite video/message from you EVER! The unedited style is so much better but I realize the average viewer has a 5 min attention span, if that! Keep up the beautiful energy & thanks for sharing your brilliant mind! As far as my main insecurity: Even when in great shape I’m a curvy girl. Along with that comes big thighs & some cellulite! Ok I said it, lol! Admittedly I’m insecure about it; however, if someone were to ridicule me about it, shame on them! I truly refuse to let that erode my self worth even though it might hurt for a moment. No one should have a power over you on that level. And it’s your job to have pity for those who point out other’s flaws as they must be so very fearful of seeing themselves in the mirror!
One of the many things I learned from the best therapist ever was, to look at the truth about myself and to believe it. Don’t focus on the lies your emotions tell you. A moment of insecurity can turn into a night or week of negative talk to youself. Write ten positive truths about you, AND the facts that prove it true. It can be an accomplishment like landing the great job you have right now. It’s a fact that your employer chose you out of all those people to hire. Realistically think back, I received my degree therefore it is a fact I am dedicated. Those are FACTS, TRUTHS! Believe the truth, you cannot deny facts. Read your list any time you begin to feel insecure. Facts do not lie! Believe the truth, own your true self. You will be surprised how easy it is to list 10 positive TRUTHS with the facts about yourself! I was!!
Oh and I feel I have one of the most noticeable insecurities! Facial hair! I try to believe the fact only one person, my no manners ex husband, has ever even remarked on my “sugar” what my boyfriend calls my facial hair. It’s so hard to remain confident when you feel everyone is looking at that what feels like 6 inch black hair I missed tweezing this morning!
Hey Matt, Hey Jameson, Hey Girls :),
Ok. that will be really akward and ugly… but you wanted this Matt :D. I have massive problem with accept that I am a human…
When I am eating or eat too much I feel filthy and disqust about myself. My belly going big and I feel like a sack of s*it… so I wear big clothes to not show it… and also as you propably guess I do other stuff to not feel filthy…
In fact I weigh 47 kg (154 cm) and I have sporty body (I know I am attractive for others), but still I hate that I have it…
Love u guys,
Anna
Appreciate the honesty and the “rawness” of this unedited video. You’re showing, rather than telling us, how to own your imperfections, and that, Matthew is a much more valuable lesson.
I am going to say I am insecure about my less than perfect teeth, they’re a bit wonky. But despite the wonkiness, I like my smile :)
Hey. OMG do you ever respond to ridiculous comments like that with; “and that is why you don’t have a man.” ? I’m a Police Officer. We aren’t very popular and I get criticized ALL the time about what I do, what I say, how I look, and what I think. I can relate to the beating your ego takes. (Should have listened to my Dad and been a fire fighter.) But what I related to most in your video is how people ask for your help and advice and then criticize the manner in which you give They aren’t brave enough to do your job. You rock. Oh- my insecurity; my knees are fat. Ridiculous I know; but there it is. LOL
I never even noticed the man tan vs. white hands. I was too interested in what you were saying. :)
I am a full-grown adult, and I still bite my nails. It’s embarrassing and disgusting. Nothing has helped me stop this habit.
Be well!
Thanks Matt,
Your experiences are link to mines in a really strange way, every time that I had a problem you told about it the same day or in the same week, of course you already deal with it but the topic is related to me.
I am not perfect no even close but I don’t have big problems neither, but unfortunately I left my ex boyfriend to go into my mind for over 4 years and criticised everything that I did or not, or physical or intellectual, I had lost all the confidence that I had. I had really good days but really low ones as well and even crazy days that I want to back to him…. CRAZY.
Thank you for talk about everything, hope to see you in London on the 19 of September at the moment I am busy but trying to move thing around….
Thank you
Mat I am only have through the video and already want to comment! First of all THANK YOU. The funniest thing is that I didn’t even notice your difference of skin tone on the previous video. We say what we want to see in others. It’s interesting to think that that is what people take out of your videos. I am so interested in your views, what you are sharing and your deep message that all these details really don’t even cross my mind. Also want to point out that I really love this video and you sharing about what processing went through your mind. That moment were you felt the need to give excuses I think is very powerful… It’s like we either go into protection of our ego or we give in that little moment of uncomfortable feeling and we just own it! This video makes me appreciate you even more, and actually if you were the type of person pretending to be perfect and trying to hard not being authentic, I would have stopped following you long time ago! I keep coming back for your honesty so thank you!