I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
Hahaha! Love it! You make me laugh! Loved your message and confidence!
I had something similar, except I had orange hands because I had applied the self tanner!
Keep up the GREAT messages Matt! You’re the best!
Self-conscious? Yep. I have a few. But I’ve been opening up more about the biggest one lately because why not?! I’ve had 4 babies. Regardless of the fact that I am at my ideal weight and in good shape, I have stretched out extra skin from growing those 4 incredible people! I feel strongly that I don’t want to wear a bikini, but I still want bathing suits that kickass because I swim every day and bodyboard in the ocean and love being outside. Sure, it would be great to “fix” that skin at some point (heck, my father was a photographer in NYC for cosmetic surgeons, I am well aware of the possibilities). But having this little stretched out baby gutt (and let’s face it, the boobs aren’t perfect either from breastfeeding 4 babies and donating extra milk to adopted babies with food allergies)… this is something I need to OWN, not because it’s a negative, but because it’s reality. I am incredible regardless. We all have flaws. I don’t need to LOVE mine, but I need to accept them first, of how can I expect others to do the same? :) Cheers, Matt.
Hi Matt,
Youre “failed” spray tan wasn’t even that bad.. it couldve been worse! Like orange spots all over youre face because of an incorrect self-tanner wich doesnt wash off easily, not even with a scourer sponge.. at the time it was just very very awkward, but now i can laugh about it… finally
I liked youre video. Even though it was long you brought a good message.
I aint perfect, but who is? and isnt everyones perception of being perfect different..
i have a high sensitive skin so i need to watch everything i eat or else you see it in my appearance. next to that is that im very white and if i finally have a tan, it goes away in no time. further more is that im coping with an out waving bikini line with ingrown hairs. despite i am treating it and whenever it seems to be gone, it comes back again. So i am changing throughout the summer from sexy bikini to less sexy “shorts” and so on. And yes it is annoying.
My opinion about what other people think or say.. i know its F*** up but i couldn’t care less!
“Why did I get a spray tan? Who fucking cares?” LOL
It really is sexier when you don’t give an F.
Hi Matthew,
I’ve watched many of your videos, but this struck me so much I couldn’t help commenting. Please, can you do more videos about self-confidence and on how to build it? For example one with practical tips. I’ve tried to work on myself for years now, to improve what I don’t like both inside (my personality…) and outside myself (my physical appearance), but you know, if don’t change your mental habits and your way of considering yourself, anything you do will never be enough and you will never be satisfied with yourself.
As for your question about our insecurities, what bothers me most is my dark circles. I’ve got them since I was a child, so I can’t do anything with them.
I’m not English, so I hope I’ve written something comprehensible.
A big thank you from Italy, Matt! :-)
When you started with the spray tan filabuster I just thought “wow, people cannot stay focused on his message and incredibly good looks?” Too bad for them.
I used to have insecurities. Now I have imperfections. I’m geeky, weird, sexy, and fun.
My biggest worry is that when I have money saved to cruise with you, your staff will reject me for not being insecure enough to meet you LOL.
We all have room for improvement in looks or attitude. We are unique
Embrace it! Being genuine….
That’s some attractive shit there.
*mwah*
“I used to have insecurities. Now I have imperfections. I’m geeky, weird, sexy, and fun.”
tigress, I love it:-) and now stolen it and going to use it:-) thank you:-)
Your videos just keep going deeper and deeper, thank you Matt ♡
I’m self conscious about the way I walk and move. I’m also self conscious about my raspy, breathy voice – or was rather. I started to own it and crack jokes about how sexy it is and just like Matt says, that totally deflates the issue (especially in my own mind), which keeps me feeling powerful and makes me look like a champ ;)
Hi Matt!
Do not worrie! I and many other women are more interested in what you have to teach us than really on the way you look. And as many have said bellow I haven’t noticed it. And do you know why? Because your look doesn’t matter for us…Even if you were bold and with lots of spots at your face as longer as you will still having the eloquent speech and those technics/strategies that really work (when applied),I and (many of other smart women) will still giving you not one but two hears!! I know that you have taught us that apparence matters… But it is not the case and never ever waste your time again explaining issues like that. We have not time to waste lets keep focus on GTG.
Cheers, your mentoring Elsa.
I love Stephen Fry!! He’s brilliant.
Especially on film, my cheeks take over my face and my eyes and mouth look overwhelmed by my chipmunk cheeks in pictures other than close up selfies.
I like your less massive look. I find you more accessible when you don’t look like some kind of ubermensch. Kisses!
Today’s blog was “spot-on”. Nobody is perfect and in a world that is a pressure cooker for perfection on all levels, it is important to develop a strong sense of self and not be affected by the negative comments by others. I learned this long ago, but am always looking for ways to improve my emotional well being and further develop my confidence. Thank you for your thoughtful and intelligent advice. What makes you so successful at what you do is you’re practicality coupled with emotional intelligence. I look forward to seeing you on your next trip to Southern Cal!
Thank you!
Dentures! Very daunted by the prospect of meeting a new chap and the firt kiss. Will he be revolted? Do I say something before hand?
I didn’t even notice the “imperfection” when I watched the video last week. This surprises me because I am very hard on myself, so I assume I’m hard on everyone else. Interesting.
Funny thing is that when you asked for a comment about our insecurities, I thought, NO PROBLEM. But as I tried to narrow in on one thing to write here, something tricky happened. I thought, definitely my large calves, and then my inner voice said, no, they’re not that bad. Then I thought, okay, that bit of cellulite on my left thigh, and my inner voice said, nah, it’s not that bad. The little scar under my eye? Not so bad… And on and on… Seems like when you call something negative out into the light it ceases to have much power.
Great way to start my day. Thank you for being so real and honest.
mmmkay. to start – this video and the message you so self-confidently conveyed, as you do within all your videos, just made into my top 5 MH videos. I feel like most women who have several or various physical insecurities often lose sight of the fact that every person they encounter are ALL self-conscious about some aspect of themselves, whether physically, mentally, or emotionally. it’s part of the human condition and the need to be reminded of this fact is crucial.
so…. where to begin. my insecurities run the gamut from downright silly to those that I think about on the daily. luckily i’ve learned over time to not let the majority of my more major insecurities bog me down or inhibit me in my day to day life, such as the KP that riddle my upper arms, or my almost translucent skin color (which a spray tan can easily cure ~ so, I feel you on the white glove syndrome that often accompanies a 3 or 4 day-old spray tan), but that’s small potatoes in comparison to my most recent insecurity that was unbeknownst to me, but apparently more than noticeable to my mom, was my “getting fat”. mind you, I’ve maintained the same, slim body weight for the past 12 years or so. I’m not one to gain or lose weight easily, which is a blessing, considering my best friend since I was 8 has been battling anorexia for over 10 years, and to witness firsthand the way it’s changed her personality and horrifically devastating to her and all those that care about her. but I digress. my struggle with this new insecurity is that it wasn’t born out of my own critical, crazy mind, but that of my mother’s, which is magnifies that insecure he even more when it comes from an outside source. she later apologized for the things she’ so bluntly and harshly said, attributing it to the rough patch my family is going through. yet, even though she calims she had no idea where that criticism came from, it still got under my skin and set up shop. I know it’s something that I’ll get over sooner rather than later, but I think what’s causing me to give this critique such unnecessary attention is so in part to having my own best friend / mom putting that damn bug in my ear.
erff.
Helpful content as always, Matthew.
I have chicken skin or KP on my arms and its very noticeable when I wear short sleeves. I went to a friend’s wedding yesterday and I was really self conscience about how they looked.
Hey Matt, and your wonderful team,
Being daring is not something that’s frequently in my system, but your video gave the biggest shout out to just go ahead and do just that.
I have an issue with accepting my body shape because of a condition which makes you accumulate fat below the waist, often giving you hips, buttocks and legs that are out of proportion with your upper body. It also leaves the rest of your body with a significant loss of strength.
One of the most frustrating things about lipoedema is that many doctors aren’t aware of the condition making it difficult to get a diagnosis. You are just being told over and over that the excess fat ‘Is your own fault’. And so you start dieting and excercising to the extend that this is hurting you more than helping you.
Due to the loss of strength you are overcompensating with your other muscles, telling yourself to just deal with it and even calling yourself weak.
And also the eating habits are being dealt with drastically. Most lipoedema patients eat lots less than what is healthy, until they find out about their condition.
This was the same for me.
And then I found out I had lipoedema, my world fell apart. I would not ever become this strong physical woman because my body wouldn’t let me.
People have always commented about my body weight and the physical appearance when in fact, due to this condition, I have had little to do with it.
Fortunately there are things to do to make sure it doesn’t get worse and I am very driven to do just that, but I am only human and I have my faults. It’s not easy, but I know I am doing this the best way that I can.
And accepthing this, the best way that I can. I will not let this define me nor will I use this as an excuse to let myself go!
So yes, I can relate with your video and am conditioning myself for toughness every day.
And also I would like to ask everyone to think of my story when seeing a big person. Please do not judge them for being lazy. It might just be a condition they have little control over.
Thank you Matt, for speaking to my inner Brave Woman. :)
Love, always,
Petra
chubby things and a big Albanian nose. But its ok, whose perfect ? :)
lol …meant thighs*
Once again, I love your gestures and voice in your videos, including this one. the ideas in your video are good and helpful for girls. Some of my contributing ideas for girls to be more attractive and feel sexy from inside here:
http://www.wikiyeah.com/how-to-feel-sexy-and-confident/
You are so real Matt. This is what is ultimately the most attractive thing about you. I want to find a guy like that and I, myself, want to emulate.
Matt, you’re always great, but I think this is your best one yet. I have a job where I have to face a lot of negativity all the time and when I come home to my family, it’s the same thing. The only safe haven I have is within myself and your video made me see that that’s ok, because it’s the same way for everybody.
A lot of insecurities can come from that, but we just need to know what we want from life and who we want to be and all the pressures will cave if our desire is strong enough.
This video is perfect at being imperfect – thank you for that and also for being who you are and for doing the work that you do so amazingly well.
Lots of love from Brazil, Anna.