I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
I love it!!! Matthew you a breath of fresh air. So authentic, and vulnerable, and owning your power. You help so many people. Wishing continued success in all you do.
Dear Matt,
I saw your tan “irregularities”, but just thought “at least it´s not a sun burn…” Why people spend so much of their time spreading their views about everyone and anything without actually adding up to the content? I guess they have not found the time to think about the content, so they stay on the “surface” where it is safe.
I loved your video today, it made me think of my best friend comments some days ago: “Ela, why do you always explain yourself?” I am pretty self-confident around close ones, but once “out there”, I start to have the feeling that people have to understand why I made my choices. Now, I actually see where my energy goes, when at the end of the day I can´t make the gym ;-) No seriously, it was a real “Aha” moment, why even listen to people who have always the need to comment/rate everything? To toughen up, yes, but only for that from now on. Especially, if these people mostly point out only the negative. It´s like in the news, there is good things happening too, but we humans have a tendency to dwell in the negative. I think, being surrounded by all “the perfect” made pictures in the magazines/on billboards/etc. makes it even worse in the past decades. Good that some try to change that or at least raise awareness of this “perfection bubble/lie” that sooner or later will explode in your face (https://www.headspace.com/blog/view/469/retouching-vs-reality-how-an-ex-ad-man-is-trying-to-change-the-industry). So, non-editing is one of my favourite things now :-)
As for my body, I always have been a sports person, loving climbing or yoga. So my body has muscles and looks “sturdy” instead of slim and “elfish” as a model. You might think now, “what´s her problem?”, it is one when you never fit a single “miss sixty” jeans while everyone else was wearing one for example. I tried different things, but stopping to bake or giving up on climbing was never one. So, I “accepted” the idea that different bodies look different, some will be models and some just happy cliff hangers ;-)
Thanks for the thought-provoking impulse and I hope to see, or better hear :-) more of your un-edited thoughts in the coming weeks,
Ela
Wow, I’m suddenly feeling better about myself…I didn’t notice your hands in the last video blog until you pointed it out to me! LOL. I’m usually very detailed oriented and hopefully a more reformed than not, harsh critic, perfectionist :).
If someone is so insecure to point out that your hands are whiter than the rest of your body and they need to poke fun or be harsh about it, well, IMHO, they’ve got some insecurities and issues to work out for themselves…yes?
Keep up the great work Matt, I applaude you for discussing the not so simple or fun topics in life and for continuing to allow yourself to be vulnerable during these videos. It helps me a lot ;)
Hi Matt,
This is a smart video with really great content.
I am insecure about my spinal column, yes pretty strange considering that from the outside there is nothing obvious about it. Though I feel beautiful in general and I am thankful for my body, I am conscious that my spine is not as straight as it should be and I find I am not relaxed if someone is holding my back. This is non-sense, from now on I will own this imperfection and I will not feel belittled even if I get any comment about it!
I found very helpful also to talk (on my blog) about eczema and how to keep this skin condition under control. Again verbalising it, made me feel empowered to share some tips with others, instead of feeling ashamed of the problem.
I loved this video because too many people walk through life scared to death of all the ways in which others will judge them. I particularly like how you talked about ‘protecting your energy’.
For as far back as I can remember I have hated my nose. I got teased a lot as a child because of it. I contemplated the possibility of surgery, but then decided that I would lose a part of myself if I got rid of my nose. I decided to keep it, and although I still hate it, I’m glad to have it right in the middle of my face as a reminder that perfection is a myth.
Thank you for all that you do!
By the way Matt, you could paint yourself in any tan or colour you’d like, you would still be so handsome and most of all smart – so definitely who cares ?
You are correct. Typically, people feel insecure about themselves and that prompts the outward negativity. Or they are simply mean. Maybe my teeth which are a little crooked. I am going to embrace that as you embraced your spray tan. Continue that positive mind set.:)
thank you so much for this topic..as always, great advice. I think the constant social pressure for perfection can only be countered by the kind of discipline you are offering…turning away from the impulse to justify oneself. I try to model this for my children. I grew up being teased about my nose..for years I thought it was so enormous that I should wear a veil or something in public..but in time I grew to realize..hey..middle school kids are often mean. My nose is not small..but neither is it hideous. And now that I am middle aged, it is very much part of me..it has never been a barrier to attraction either.
Hi Matt,
This was interesting to watch… hopefully it is the last ode to justification.
I hope you felt better after you made the recording.
Yes, I have an insecurity, its physical and it can be worked away when it suits me. However, it does not keep my authentic self from blossoming.
I asked a guy out to be my date to a dinner party. He turned me down…his jewish, I am not. Food was the issue.
His open for other get-together activities that does not involve food. :-)
Keep well, have tea. May you have a great week.
Matthew,
Great video with a great message. My imperfection is my lips. I always got picked on growing up for having big lips.
As for all the ladies (I’m sure they are fabulous people) that hacked on you for the spray tan…they can keep being negative and alone. I don’t care what color you are, you’re an amazing person. I’d take you any day of the week.
I think you’re completely awesome Matt! That being said, your hair in some videos bothers me much more than your white hands in that video. LOL! (I do truly LOVE your vibe and I appreciate what you do for thousands of women.)
I’m 6’1″ and more than once someone, usually a stranger, has called me an Amazon. I’ve never thought of that as a negative. Though mythical, in my mind Amazons are tall beautiful warriors who are tougher than tough.
The thing I don’t like about myself is my thighs. I’ve always felt they are too big. I’m working on owning it. It’s not easy, sometimes it seems like they get bigger everyday.
Kisses! Luv you, Matt!
Maggie
Hello Matt,
This comment is a first for me but felt I had to as the video is exceptional and did I heard Jamieson (sp?) utter a word!?? I’m always aiming to put on more weight and i’m not a selfie lover. Will need to change that. Thank you.
x
As I was beginning to write this, I thought I would discuss how I am not as physically fit as I would like to be right now. Guess what my first thought was. It was to preface the statement with “since I was deathly ill for 7 months”. Wow… What a perfect example of that need to “justify” ourselves and our actions! I’m grateful this was brought to my attention, so I can remember to be boldly unapologetic for myself!
On the flip side.. Some time ago, I had a situation with a female who professes to protect women etc. She stole a professional photo of mine from a classy Boudoir shoot and put it onto her site in an album entitled “The Wall of Shame”. She asked people to state “what they really thought of it and the woman in it”. I guess at the time I was feeling pretty confident because I absolutely felt no need to do anything about it. It was kind of interesting to check back in and check the comments…. Everything from me not being very smart (I teach college).. To needing to eat a sandwich (to which I later replied I like foods more like steak, scallops, burgers and lasagna). Meanwhile I started receiving messages from people telling me they had posted positive comments, and she deleted them. I found it so intriguing! I did finally address the situation with a statement of who I was, what my values are, and exposing the social engineering project they had unwittingly been a part of. I wrote nothing about the picture, the shoot, or the reason for it. I felt no need to “justify” it. I can honestly say I never felt more powerful!
I really feel your words, Matt. You are resonating so much. Thank you!
The insecurity: I’ve put my confidence and identity on my body shape (I know it’s classy but nevertheless touching). Whenever somebody asked if I’ve gained weight, I was super down. It’s so silly. But incredibly valuable for learning to own it.
XXX
Matthew,
I am a soon to be 50 year old woman who learns and is inspired by you every time I watch your videos and read (your brothers) the blogs. Thank you and job well done!!!!!
I have an insecurity that I have a heavy lower body..but I accept my body as it is anyway ;) I still love my body for what it is !!! I love myself too much to criticise about what’s wrong
i don’t think I’m attractive enough for someone to love me and that they think I’m annoying ….
I am a female who is losing her hair and eyebrows. And those two features were my best a physical attributes. SCARY!!!!
Thank you Matthew Hussey for the brilliant video. I am really glad to have heard your kind words they have been really helpful in my life. I’ve actually been feeling alone with all the criticisms and judgements that I get, sometimes I think it just happens to me but now I realise that this is not the case. I have always been self-conscious of my small boobs, my crooked tooth, if they are stained yellow I just close me lips! My curly hair and my quiet voice and personality. I have been criticised about my small boobs, my quiet voice and for being shy before and it has knocked my confidence a lot, it really hurts at the time and damages my self-esteem. I am learning to overcome these negative judgements though and just not let them get to me. I try to remind myself of all my strong points and all the great things about me. This drowns out all the negative crap that people have said. I would rather feel great about myself than turn inward and start to believe all the negative criticism that people have said. Life’s too short, best to stay strong and believe in yourself and be the best that one can be! Thank you again for your help. Love Maria xx
Love you Matthew, in all your forms, toned and white hands if need be, no judgement. Appreciate the wisdom you impart and that grows in me too. Thank you fellow Gemini, totally get you xx