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My Brother is Spilling All My Secrets

I can’t believe my brother did this…

While it’s a bit embarrassing for me to reveal so much about my behind-the-scenes work, I’m genuinely happy that Stephen pushed me to give this to you because I know it will make a huge impact on your life.

Click here for the download page >>







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220 Replies to “My Brother is Spilling All My Secrets”

    1. Agreed. But sometimes techniques can help be even MORE of your authentic self than you were before.

      Thanks Jo!

      Steve x

  • I really enjoyed watching and reading this, but it does seem like you have a bit of a babouchka effect going on now, you’re using the techniques mentioned in Stephen’s post to introduce the post itself,lol :)
    At any case, the dating advice is great, but learning how to be charming all around is much more interesting. Keep it up, we also enjoy hearing from Stephen, he’s your secret weapon apparently!

    1. Not so secret anymore, apparently ;)

      Things are getting confusing – who’s using whose techniques?? ha

      Glad to hear your loving the new stuff River, thanks for commenting!


  • I would love to hear more about how you can create charisma and natural charm. You certainly have it as I saw for myself at your recent London get the guy day. I downloaded the music onto my ipod and play it all the way to work to remind me of the energy I can have everyday.

    1. Awesome Alison! Yea, music is a big part of what we do in our live events. Love that it has inspired you to use it yourself. Hopefully I’ll do more posts on this kind of thing, and maybe Matt will put more material out there too (he’s a busy boy though, from what I hear!).


      Steve x

  • Guys! Really loved the download material! Please, go deep on this stuff or at least tell me where to learn it! I’m just going to use it tomorrow!

    1. I’ve been talking to Matt about this for a while Mariana – he’s seriously considering delving into more. x

  • I think it is the perfect chance for you to discover new opportunities to try out! I remember a really smart and lovely man saying that people should go out of their comfort zone and try out new things in order to widen their horizon ;) What about the last video you made – remember your advice for us?

    Also, I liked the material, BUT!

    BUT I did NOT so much like the way it is conveyed. Because when one reads the first few pages, it appears like we are all this interaction had just been faked. But it’s not. Preparation is ok and at least you show the courage and modesty to open up and to reveal your techniques you use in your job! I mean it is your job! Of course, you work on your communication skills! Of course, your charismatic personality is NOT limited on these techniques, Matt! Obviously you learned about your past and you show a great soul and interest in human beings, in their behaviour and their way to reach not only their ears, but more importantly their hearts! <3

    Please don't let it bother you. It is rather a psychological approach to communication than any sort of secret. Also, I think you could see this as an opportunity to do more videos about these skills :) I find it pretty interesting!

    You are charaismatic, not because of your secrets, but because of the honesty you show us – just like now – and people can look through a fasade, you're charismatic because you show us, you're human – showing this may be one of the superpowers politicians, VIPs and celebreties might never have!


    Sarah :)

    1. Sorry, I just realized I made lots of grammar mistakes here and there :D But I’m a liiiittle tipsy ^^

      My final comment to my comment: In vino veritas! :D

    2. Hey Sarah,

      Thanks for commenting.

      Just to clarify – by showing that these are techniques Matt uses I am definitely NOT meaning to denigrate them at all. In fact, I think they make Matt’s talents all the more impressive. All I wanted to do was show people that they can possess these skills too – that they aren’t a special gift – that everyone can adopt the tools of the charismatic person to great effect in their everyday lives.

      Matt’s authenticity and warmth are obviously parts of his personality – but part of charisma is being able to USE these traits well, and that’s what I hope the guide we released shows.

      All best! :)

      Steve x

      1. I see, thanks for the kind reply :) And again, sorry for all the ungrammatical truths I spilled out ^^
        I think the idea is great. I just wished the way of selling these techniques would be less ‘sensational’, if that is the proper expression to deliver of what I mean to say… I think we’re talking about some communication skills that belong to some extent to the ‘scientific field of psychology’ and therefore, it should be discussed this way (like facts taken out of a book, I mean where did Matt get these techniques from ? Did he invent them all ?). At least in my eyes it seems pretty nice, ok, totally fine :) even awesome to open up one’s own techniques. Obviously, many people use them,so why shouldn’t we ? Of course, we could profit from these kind of information for our lifetime :)
        So, people are not born charismatic – so what? Skill comes with practice :)

        Finally, I want to thank you :) For hearing us out, for being so honest with us and also, just for being such nice persons :) Have a great one!


  • I’m sorry guys, this one time I don’t agree with you. I think that it’s not fair that Matthew spent so much effort and time discovering these technics and now people just have it all on a silver plate, no effort if not for dowloading it.
    I see what you were trying to do Sthepen, but i think it would have been most usefull make people understand that there is a technique behinde it all so that, if someone was really caring about being appreciate and good with others,that person would have to work for it and understand it from Matthew’s interview and seminars since thereis a lot of material to go through… besides , in my opinion, a “normal” person doesn’t need such steps to be with others not like Matthew does anyway, being all over the world dealing with all sort of people.

    That being said, i always find your work interesting and challeging, nothing of what you do or say will make me think less of you.


    Ps- say Hi to Jameson xD

    1. Hi Lisa,

      I understand your concerns, but I have to disagree with your last comment i.e. that a “normal” person doesn’t need these skills, because they aren’t doing the wide variety of things Matt does. Matt and I believe that everyone can benefit from possessing impact and charisma in every part of their daily lives, whether in dating, networking, job interviews, sales, pitching, making friends, or being good company at parties. These life skills *never* stop being important, no matter who you are or what work you do.

      I wrote the guide (which Matthew agreed to release, of course) precisely so that every person could find ways to apply the techniques Matt had worked incredibly hard to learn in their own lives. After we spoke Matt chose to release this to his audience precisely because he knows how valuable he has found this material and how much he wants other people to share the fruits of his labour.

      No-one doubts Matt had to work insanely hard to perfect his craft and develop himself to cope with the many challenges of being so visible in the public eye (e.g. TV interviews, Youtube, radio) – Believe me, I’ve seen and admired his incredible drive to succeed and improve. Me and Matt are the closest friends in the world. I would never have given this material away without his consent, which is why we discussed it thoroughly first. But we both agreed it was too valuable NOT to share with his audience.

      Thanks for your comments!

      Steve x

      P.S. I’ll give Jameson a kiss when I next see him.

  • I am so happy you posted this information, Matthew & Stephen!

    It was actually that exact Elvis Duran interview that I first heard of you, so it was very (admittedly) entertaining to learn the behind-the-scenes “preparation”. Since that interview I have followed your blogs and videos for all the great tips & advice because they are so useful! I think you do an amazing job at showing people how to be the best & happiest versions of themselves! Whether in their love lives or just being more confident every single day.

    Please continue to share your wealth of knowledge & wonderful stories!!


    1. Hey Julie!

      Welcome! I’m so glad you discovered us through Elvis Duran. I’m really proud of what we’ve created here, and I think it’s truly unique in that it helps people with their love lives, but also helps break down life and people in simple ways that allow us to refine ourselves a little more each day.

      I’m so happy you’re on board, and I look forward to reading your comments in the future.

      Matthew x

  • While I’m answering comments below I have to just say…

    It’s so much fun to be commenting next to my bro on this blog (see below). This is the first blog ever that we’ve commented side by side, and it’s SO cool! lol


    P.S. He’s in Oxford in England and I’m on a plane writing this travelling to New York from LA. How crazy is life.

  • Hi Matt,

    I’m really interested in doing a Skype session with you, not sure if it’s still something you do? If so would love to hear more. Have been on the winner weekend and loved it, I’d love to delve deeper personally :-)


  • First off, thank you so much for you’re ever insightful content! It has been so helpful to have little bits I can incorporate into my life and work on to have a more successful love life. I recently ran into a situation where after a first date the guy told me how excited he was to continue having more dates, and after the 3rd date I felt that he back every distant. I am rather picky when it comes to men so when I find someone I have chemistry with I guess I get a bit excited too, but what could I have done that scared him off?

  • Hi guys, i really loved this video! Nothing better than having a brother your close with ( I have one myself). It takes a lot of guts to admit that you’re not naturally charismatic and it’s something that ALL people have to work on. I also want to add I love when you post the videos of you answering guest questions on iheart radio!

    Keep up the good work guys and I appreciate all the insight!

    Much love xoxo

  • Hi Matthew im so Sorry that i did’nt comment on your post for so long. But alott has happened to me and etc.
    Too be short about it i have had a eating disored but i overwin it i’m so ashamed to write this i never thought i overcomes me but we also human en we learn from the mistakes we make. In the meanwhile i still have my internship in the bakkery. And i’m also having found a vacationjob after so many rejections more than 7 believe me i was so hard to search a another one and than still keep believing that i may work out.
    But luckily in life you have two options 1:Stand up and face your fears 2: Face your fears and learn from it and rise or something like that :P

    But i lucklily i got a vacation by the Mcdonalds
    and i always said two years ago that i never wanted to work there even when it was the last place on earth.
    now you know how life works ou sometimes. Sometimes you have no choices anymore if you wanna earn some money right?

    Im so Sorry That i didn’t comment earlier.
    I have one question for you ?
    If i may see a nice guy or something you never know right ;) how can i start a conversation with him
    im a shy girl and i’m almost a wallflower nobody notice me atleast i think how can you start a conversation with him without being akward i know being yourself it’s the main thing what you can do how can you handle something like the.

    Lovely Greetz From Thirza From The Netherlands
    And Yeah now one year older than when i first commented your blog i mean a 16 year old girl :P

  • Hello Hussey Brothers! I am a huge fan :)

    So after almost 2 years of dating here and there (thanks to your book), I recently met someone (he was 28, I’m 32) that I actually genuinely liked and thought there could be potential. Finally! Our first time meeting, which was supposed to be an hour or 2 at a coffee place, ended up being hours of talking, followed by “do you wanna go watch tv” and when I asked where, he said “my place” and after a few seconds I agreed.

    He showed me around, we talked more and then he finally kissed me, and it innocently went on for a long time to where I ended up canceling going out with my girl friend, and ended up staying over. I left at noon and went back that evening, met him for dinner the next day and slept over again the next night. He had a very full schedule which left me with mainly seeing him after 10:30 so thats why I stayed over. I really thought we had potential even though i didn’t feel like he asked me much about me, and i asked him a lot. But I let go because I thought we were heading towards something possibly. I used your advice and didn’t text him all the time, I gave him his space and wasn’t needy or asking what we were. I was proud of myself

    So after 4 days in a row together, I saw him for one or 2 more sleepover night together over a week later and then a few days later he called and said “although i enjoyed our time together, I’m just not in the right mindset for a relationship. I’m just not feeling it.” I was like umm okay… so what you’re saying is even if you WERE wanting a relationship, it won’t be with me?” and he said yes. I got pretty upset. Oh, and We never slept together. He tried of course but I wanted to wait bc I actually liked him.

    I was so bummed because I thought i did so well, and really tried to use what you say. I know I shouldn’t have slept over because it probably made me emotionally involved and probably not him but I feel like once I did it, I couldn’t take it away or not do it anymore.. Probably why i wanted to wait to sleep together.

    I am just getting frustrated and feeling beat up by the whole dating game.
    Any words of encouragement? I came to your tour in Philly and you wrote “Never Settle” I try to live by that but sometimes I just don’t connect with guys when I meet them! And the ones I do end up not wanting me.

    Please give a girl some encouraging words!


    1. Hey Jo,
      I’m neither Matt, nor Stephen. I’m not a love expert at all in fact! But man, I can feel your pain and confusion in reading what you wrote. That sounds like a sucky situation. I can only imagine how amazing, rare, and genuine it felt… and how devastating it must feel now. I’m giving you a virtual hug.
      Well, I wanted to say two things:
      1. There’s something I vaguely remember Matt saying once. The gist, and take back, from what he said was “he’s just not your soulmate.” Meaning your guy is still out there. This guy just wasn’t it/him. I find strength in that thought, I hope it gives you something too.
      2. You may have given too much of yourself too soon. I’m a work in progress on that part. When we give of ourselves we kinda rack up this debt, that we don’t know we’re racking up. Kinda like that person owes us something for all we’ve given them (even if we gave it freely at the time). It’s a strange one. I’m not you, and I don’t know the full story. But I can say sex isn’t everything. And we can still give a lot of ourselves to someone without giving them our physical selves. I believe that’s what may have happened here. Did he earn a spot over your girlfriend for you to cancel plans? Did he earn all those hours you spent with him? To him, perhaps it was all too easy to get your time, and attention. That he didn’t have to put much work in. I’m sorry – I’m sure Matt (and Stephen), would phrase all this so much better.. and shorter.

      Well, Jo, from one lady going through it to another – good luck! You got this!

  • Read your newsletter on “what to do next.”

    If you’re not comfortable sharing what your techniques, – don’t. The message will be tainted and you may not give it your all. Perhaps that’s demanding on my end – wanting you to give me your all; wanting your best. But, it’s the truth. I want your all.

    Personally, I know when I share prematurely – be it due to not being prepared, or just not wanting to share – I end up feeling yucky. And icky. I feel gross! And no one wants to spend 24 hours a day with someone they think is gross.

    You know what you’re going to do. I know you know what you’re going to do. It’s just a matter of getting yourself to the point of execution. The problem isn’t whether or not you should share or not… it’s whether you’re ready to. You’ll be, essentially, exposing a huge part of yourself to us. Your heart. It’s a lot more personal to you than navigating the dating waters. At least it’s a different kind of personal anyway.

    Presumptuously telling you all about yourself,


  • Hey, Matthew!
    I have been seeing this guy since the 4th of July… we are still talking and hanging out. When is it okay to ask him where things are gojng? Or where he wants things to go? He has a 7 yr old son, and from the first night we hung out, he told me wanted to settle down. Which, I am up for if things got serious…. I just don’t know how to approach him asking him what we are or what we could be? Or if he sees anything happening between us.


    1. Hi Jessica,

      I know you asked Matt this question, but here are my initial thoughts. It’s quite soon. If it’s been less than a month, it’s really not time to bring up a “what are we, what could we be” conversation. That’s not to say it won’t come up casually when you talk about where you see your future – but right now I really wouldn’t have direct conversations about figuring out the future of the relationship. You still need time to build more emotional connection and closeness/intimacy, before you really know how things will be down the line.

      He’ll likely reveal to you how he sees things by his actions. See if he invests time/energy into bringing your closer into his world and opens up to you emotionally. Look for signs that he wants to make you a part of his life. If you must have a big conversation early on (and like I said, I don’t recommend it), bring the idea up in a casual and light way, instead of a confrontational way where he is expected to decide the entire future potential for the relationship within the first few weeks. Pressuring someone to do this too soon is not fair, since he probably needs time to get to know you better before he decides anything long-term.
      Hope that helps,

      Steve x

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