In this week’s video, I’m going to go wildly off script and dive into these issues to explain exactly what you need to know to win in dating in 2019.
Believe me: This message will help you avoid the traps I’ve seen too many single men and women fall into…
Let’s Continue this Conversation and Grow Stronger Together. Leave Your Comment Below.
I’ve already given up. With so many awful experiences, first dates/relationships, etc. I have a huge wall now. I’ve also been single and on my own for a long time. I know my worth and what I want and need. It’s going to take a strong understanding and patient man to break this wall. One brick at a time. I cannot be bothered with self-righteous insecure man. I would rather be alone and happy than in relationship and miserable. A lot of people stay in toxic relationships and I will not. I have children, and they mean the world to me. I’ve had too many bad experiences with men falling all over me in the beginning and then all of a sudden ghosting me because they are intimidated after they see how independent I am and what I have to offer. I think social media has destroyed all respect for true love and honorable relationships. There are too many options for men because women give things up too easily. And for us women who don’t who respect ourselves well quite frankly most men don’t want us.
I am a senior citizen and just turned 70, however my mind is 45 I think on most days. I am young at heart. Don’t hang out with people my age (they’re not young enough for me)…
I met men online, and it goes well for a few weeks (at least I think it’s going well) and then some of them ask me for money, ITUNE cards and various other “goodies”. They were apparently never serious, it was ALL a game about what they wanted to get out of me. I have only met a few that were not OUT for something like that, but many were. Scammers abound it seems. I never sent anyone a dime b/c I already am fully aware of their games, but it’s difficult to know when they’re serious and when they’re not b/c they will tell you “anything”!!! Most are just HUGE liars!!! Most don’t really want a relationship, and if they do they don’t know how to go about getting it started.
The other problems is that they don’t want to E-mail or if they do they are one-liners. They don’t pay attention, they don’t like to answer questions, and they basically can’t keep up with the communication. They fall by the wayside and get 2-3 days behind on writing back and answering my e-mail that I sent them. They’re also bad about texting. They seem to lack any “common sense” unfortunately !!!
They don’t ask me questions about my life or what I am all about. They just don’t seem to know how to communicate to get the relationship off the ground and rolling into anything constructive or they’re just plain lazy and NOT motivated. Something is wrong with MOST of them. I only found 2 that would keep up, one was 84 at the time, he was sweet and would write everyday (a Pisces) and the other I am still e-mailing (as friends only) everyday since Sept.4th, and he’s 65 and (a Sagittarius). Otherwise they either wanted me to send them something (last one wanted $3,500 to help pay for surgery for his mother with cancer)…lol, or they just drop out. Here today, gone tomorrow. SO, my hopes are not very high and I really want and need a friend, a companion, a soul mate and yes a lover (my libido is high). WHERE IS MY PRINCE CHARMING?????
Wow Matthew… you hit it out of the park with this video! Everything you touched on is exactly everything I’ve been experiencing with online dating… EVERYTHING! I’ve become so frustrated with the men and these antics, I feel the need to pull myself out of the dating pool every couple of months and take a break from dating just so I can regain my footing, and build my self-esteem and self-confidence back up. Your weekly videos and the things that you write keep me afloat and keep me grounded overall, so thank you for that! But THIS video…? It showed me that I’m not crazy with what I’ve been experiencing and that it’s just not me experiencing it. THAT is invaluable! You rock! Lots of love, Lori
Wow, Matt! I started watching the video thinking “yeah, yeah, whatever”. Then about at 6:35 into it, I felt your sincerity, and it touched my heart. I felt the truth that you were dropping — and that I need to not just listen but to actively work harder to become stronger. Your last bit about life not getting easier… 100% attention, energy, and investment to becoming personally stronger is brilliant. I am raising three teenage sons, and they are my heart and soul. I know that some other mom out there raised a son into a good man for me. Just gotta find one another! Thank you for speaking from your heart
So does this explain why a guy flirts heavily via texting for weeks, invites you to visit him(he resides in another city) and then sussently shuts it down.with no explanation, hardly even staying in touch even though you’ve had a friendship for years? In essence, comes and goes when it works for him. He gets bored, distracted, whatever. The sad thing for the ‘relationship ‘ is that this interaction, as much fun for both as it was, will NEVER happen again for the simple reason that I will not allow it to.
Super video, btw!
Very true we must be strong i have a questions
1 i am single parent for 7 years
2then i met guy one of the famous in Philippine he’s a actor and politics
3 we fall in love each other for 4 years. Then i realize i give up. Because he have a first wife and second wife.
4 the first wife and also the her kids knows me we met already for how many times. Because every 3 months my boyfriend ask me to fly to philippine.
5 the first wife told me i must married the exhusband because she dont like the second wife also her kids.
6 buti give up last year because i dont like to hurts anyone
7until now they call me also the kids us me to back to him dad.
8what will i do
9 please can you give me advived for me
Thank you so much
God bless and family
Thanks for being there Mat. I feel motivated seeing your videos.getting stronger.. God bless
I very much agree with you Matthew, as women, new to the dating scene again, I am fully aware that I can not control everything around me including the men I meet but i remain vigilant in what I can control..thank you so much for sharing your views in this
Excellent video and very well said! I love it! Thank you Matt and your team for continuing to provide guidance for navigating the realities of not only the dating world, but that are applicable to other parts of my life.
Your advice is excellent, I was married for 23 years and divorced after my husband had an affair. I applied your methods even before I’d ever heard of Matthew Hussey. I reinvented myself as a stronger person and went onto a better more fulfilled me. Although 13 years along here I am again and another failed relationship, after 4 years of happiness my younger partner decided he wanted out as he needed to discover more about himself.
I’d invested a lot in this relationship, not only my heart but a lot of encouragement for his future.
His words to me when he left, “I know its selfish but when we met, you were just what I needed”
I really appreciate your acknowledgement of thus. I gave followed and put into practice alot if what you have said in the last two years and although it has not yielded a relationship, it has shaped the way I think and act with men. The equipment you have provided me with has saved me from many guys I probavly would gave given more energy to were not investing un me because I was lonely. Your video on loneliness was still the most powerful video I have watched.
Thanks Matt, you da best <3
Thanks Matthew for the video, I learnt alot from it,in life I have always seen men like destroyers,have never trusted any man not even the man I have kids with,I have always said I will get a good one but time and again the worse one comes my way,today I watched this video with my son we were both touched,he was like mum if dad disturts you again I will stop him from being my dad.
Maybe these women should stop the online dating if it is giving them so much trouble. I have never tried it, and now for sure I will not! I met my boyfriend at church, and sex is off the table, and he is a wonderful Godly man.
Thank you so much for addressing this Matt. I was one of those people that commented in that thread about my frustrations with the gap in healthy relationship coaching for men. I appreciate you responding to this, and when you said I hear you, I felt it. I actually started to cry. I’m an artist and did an art project last year in which I infiltrated an online pick up artist forum and posed as a former PUA/wannabe life coach for men. As a fake, or a troll, as many call it, I gave advice to guys advocating for open, and (paradoxically) honest communication as well as an abandonment of strategies of manipulation and misogyny. I had a lot of guys on the forum reach out to my alter ego and open up. But recently I’ve had some people reach out and ask for coaching from me, not my alter ego. I don’t feel fully equipped. I’m not a real relationship coach like you.
I can’t imagine what it’s like for you to receive the frustrations, demands and needs of hundreds of people on a daily basis. I generally don’t make commentary on social media (despite what my art project might indicate), but I can tell you what moved me to do so on that day, aside from personal frustration, it’s primarily because your words resonate with me. Your work thoughtfully addresses a lot of the issues that myself and so many friends are dealing with and the way you communicate advice is a gift that has had a deep impact on me, not only as an artist who is invested in these topics, but mostly as a woman who is currently struggling with communication and setting standards in my own 1 year relationship. Thank you for doing what you do and for taking the time to respond. It is so appreciated and it is very touching.
This video is RIGHT ON. OTTIMO — bravissimo! You hit the nail on the head! “Novelty addicted” — that’s the exact term to describe a huge percentage of males (I won’t even say “men”). Ladies: there ARE guys out there who are NOT like this. Might I add that I truly doubt that you’re going to find one on a “dating” website any more than you would find a vegetarian in a fast-food burger chain!
Really powerful message . I am older than your mother Matt but will not give up to find the man that will bring magic to my life ! Agree that the way we used to date brought so much excitement to see that person again without the dating apps today some would say to meet people would be difficult . I have my feet firmly planted on this earth but when the wrong guys appear they get the flick and I get back on that horse! Your advice is very encouraging and helpful. Thank you
Have been on few dating sites, they are more good to leaving you with heartache depression, and decreasing oneself esteem. Deleted them all, and more focused on building myself.
I like a guy. Been sleeping with him for 5 months. All on his terms. And he is still hurting because he was engaged to be married and they called it off. A year ago. He’s not over her and she keeps messaging him frm time to time. But she’s seeing someone else. I like him so so much. I’m attached. He doesn’t want anything serious. Of course. But I don’t wanna lose him and stop now. But it’s consuming me.
Thank you Matthew, for saying and expressing how bad things are with online dating but yet 100% encouraging us women to keep believing in love. I have been online dating for some 2 years and the outcome is frustrating and deeply heartbreaking. Just how people interact and behave because they are anonymous is really bad. I am just about to give up hope on finding love. Men are just are never available or play with several options at the same time. As you rightly say we cannot change this but only keep being strong. Digital dating has sadly evolved form something positive when it started out to something really challenging and negative. It does not seem working for me but yet I keep trying.