In this week’s video, I’m going to go wildly off script and dive into these issues to explain exactly what you need to know to win in dating in 2019.
Believe me: This message will help you avoid the traps I’ve seen too many single men and women fall into…
Let’s Continue this Conversation and Grow Stronger Together. Leave Your Comment Below.
Ouch Kelli!
I respectfully disagree.
I don’t believe Matt was being condescending in the slightest.
He validated the frustrations, provided a rationale for the direction of his messages and clearly outlined that his aim is to shift the focus solely onto what each of us has the power to change – ourselves!
I, for one, am tired of this “why does he do that”, “how can I get him to change” culture we live in.
It’s not about him. It’s about me!
What reaction do I need to change, what thought process do I need to shift, what action do I need to take, what behaviour do I need to engage in.
So I see multitudes of strategies in all your videos, webinars etc Matt.
They are educational (this is how men often think, act etc).
They are enlightening (this response from you is likely to lead to this response in him).
And therefore they are empowering (do this instead, work out your standard about this, communicate your standard in this way).
From this empowered state, I get stronger. I take action. I get stronger.
I see change (in me and in what I attract). I get stronger.
And ultimately I will see the result.
I don’t know when that will happen.
And in some senses, I don’t care.
I trust the process.
I trust the strategies Matt communicates will weed out the ones who aren’t on the same page as me.
And consequently position me to recognise and receive “equally strong men on our level”.
I trust the outcome will be that I find these men in all sorts of places I visit as I live life to the full.
In the meantime, I will enjoy the journey.
So thanks Matt for all of the above.
For your energy. And for your enthusiasm. Your authenticity and vulnerability is encouraging and refreshing.
I have gained so much from my short time with you. And look forward to hearing many more gems of wisdom to add to my already overflowing jewellery box.
Yes Matt, it is a very tough world with all the options and distractions out there, for girls and guys too and everyone is free to chose what they want. I chose to work on myself and grow personally, enjoying my hobbies. There is someone out there who I know I’ll meet at the right time. Patience and consistency will pay off.
Thumbs up for all the efforts you and your team put out there to guide and help others.
To Kelli, from one woman to another, it is clear what is wrong: Your attitude! The comment you make about “men’s bullshit” is really obvious you expect them to behave badly around you and that is what you attract. This is true in all areas of life. If you expect bad, that’s what you’ll find. Matt is right, you need to quit your whining.
You’re sweet, mature and intelligent. I absolutely agree with you. We need to be realistic, and see the difference between the lives we had decades ago and what we are facing now. IN ALL ASPECTS. We must live our life as it comes, with all the surprises, good and bad,and make the most out of it. Just a bit of positivism and determination. Thanks for all your advices :)
The Las Vegas gambling machine analogy is perfect. It says it all. I gave up long ago and to be frank it has made me much, much happier. I just invest in all the other areas of my life and from those efforts, I get rewards.
And something last.. You can’t make everyone happy, so don’t get anything personal. :) take it from someone who also works with people from around the world. Stick to your beliefs
Yes, it’s true… I have the feeling that dating new people is getting worse and worse, the next guy is worse than the last, until I got to the point I am now, which is me in the need of 1 or 2 months recover from the last first-date I had (after lots of bad first dates), before going out to meet someone new again. But maybe it’s just a bad luck wave of trashy guys. I’ll try not to give up…
Thank you so much for this video Matt. You’re absolutely right, don’t waste time, get stronger. Appreciate you taking the time to respond.
Dear Matt,
This is definetly one of your best video!
Thank you
Hi Mat,
All good advice, as usual . But although you said your influence on men’s mindsets could take years and would we be willing to wait that long, no you are right we wouldn’t; however wouldn’t it be nice if our daughters and perhaps your future ones, were to benefit from that. Maybe start to dip your toe in to that sphere you may help many a man and in so doing many many women. Annette in Guildford
I really appreciate this message. I am mom to three sons and have intentionally taught them how to treat a woman as a fellow human. My ex-husband is the ultimate role model for them. All three look at him and say “nope, not going to do this like dad.” Tony fellow women out there, fear not. There are good guys out there! So, this is a message for you Matthew – thank you for acknowledging the pain and frustration. I will not be waiting for a Hussey trained man. ;)
I completely agree with you on this. Complaining and nagging about what’s not working in this dating times won’t get us any further, just the opposit, will stress us even more. But I have to admit, it’s pretty easy to blame someone else or the circumstances in that matter. Every time people ask me why I’m still single I try to catch myself on negative thoughts and consciously change them into – what can I do to get better, to think better.. so thanks for this videos, learning is a process. We can and we are getting stronger day by day!
ok i still dont know where im going wrong. and what are the traps im falling into that im meant to avoid.
I take, joy, encouragement and excitement from your videos Mat. I like to see that you give no attention to the victim brainwashing, and still take a moment to acknowledge the pain women face in dating – compassionately. Please carry on being this radiant and beautiful human being. Amazing – bäähhmm.
Great talk, Matt. I’ve been divorced for 7 years and during this time I have only had one long term relationship of 1.5 years which I ended because it was toxic. I’ve put myself in and out of the dating pool many times and most times left the scene because I was frustrated with my experiences with men. We all want to meet great people, men and women alike. As you point out with today’s instant gratification, we all want to meet that person now and lack the patience to go through the frustration of weeding out the wrong ones. I’ve only been following you for a matter of months, but I’ve found that people tend to focus on what they don’t have, rather than what they do have. I’ve had opportunities to put your scripts to work and I have seen a change in how men respond. It was only after I stopped focusing on being single and starting focusing on other areas of my life that I started to meet people outside of the online dating scene. I guess my caveat is this: focus on becoming a better version of yourself and don’t let the label of “single” define who you are. Time flies by so fast, so spend it investing in yourself and doing what makes you happy. Your life isn’t any less meaningful if you don’t have someone to share it with. Thank you, Matt, for your insight. It has helped me build my confidence (which was non-existent) in and outside of the dating realm, and has helped me to communicate more effectively with others. The personal work I’ve done on myself this year, along with your coaching, has given me the best time of my life so far, and I’m excited to see what 2019 holds for me.
Very well said. And very true. I like the slot machine analogy. It puts things in a better perspective. And yes we do need to get stronger and wiser because it is not going to get easier out there. Thank you again for your wise words ! And thank you for caring.
Hey Matt is it okay to be alone with your self I don’t even think that I don’t even have the same feelings as they do for me
So true, Matthew! I think, if we don’t want to get caught up in that frustration, we need to start getting out of that game. Online dating “seems” to offer more opportunities, but it ends up being so frustrating and discouraging that it destroys yourcself confidence or you end up playing the same games. We need to start coming out of our self-imposed isolation and put ourselves in places where we are meeting real live people in casual situations outside of dating.
For the first time in 7 years of dating, I met someone at a friend’s birthday party. I wasn’t looking at him as anything other than a team member in a game of charades. After I left he asked my friend for my number because he said he was “smitten”!! He’s been “courting” me ever since. It is SO REFRESHING to just be me and accept his interest without wondering who else he’s talking to online or if he’s having “meetups” while I sit home wondering. Who knows what will happen? But at least this is a comfortable, natural start where we are both enjoying the natural process. I just needed to step out of my comfort zone a little and accept an invitation to a party instead of staying home again on a Friday night.
Right on! I’ve been divorced for 3 years now and become quite disenchanted with dating. BUT… it has all made me stronger. Taught me more about myself. I’m the happiest I’ve been in over 20 years. Matthew’s advice has more than helped me on this journey. You have helped me understand my own experiences and how men and women are just hardwired differently. I love the positive, proactive approach you take. Women need to stop with the victim mindset. Find our happiness and power in ALL the things we do. Stop wasting so much time on who is not in our life, and embrace who is. You’ll be surprised what happens when we change our focus. There is peace and serenity awaiting! Thank you Matthew Hussey for heeding your call to help WOMEN. Thank youfor being a good man. Good men still exist ;)
Thank you. This year has been the worst year ever in dating. I feel like a douche-magnet attracting all of these broken souls. I’m 34, look like 24 and have dated men from 23 to 44 years old, so it’s not an age problem but a general one. For me it‘s not even possible to do the rotational dating advice other coaches give, as I can‘t even date one “good” man. And I hear the same from all of my single girlfriends. All the same terrible stories in different variations. It’s a challenge not to turn into a frustrated man-hater. That‘s why I just stopped dating altogether. This ADD culture in dating and in life is not good for my soul. Instead I‘m concentrating on myself and friends and family. If a guy wants to date me, he will have to become my friend first. I‘m so so done with this sh*t. I wish all of you out there luck, love and happiness.
Merry Christmas