Leave a comment telling me about a time you got rejected. What happened? Where were you? What happened? What did you say? How did it go down? Let everyone know about it and let’s start off the year with the freedom of being in a place where rejection is OK.
I met a rather nice guy at my local shopping mall after i got over my ex, with the help of your articles of coursed.(early last year.and we got attracted to each other almost immediately. He got my number and called me for like three times after that, I guess i played a little too hard to get, and he got pissed off and refused to call me anymore. I searched for him on facebook and even though he added me, he completely ignored me. Its almost a year now, Even though i really liked this guy, I feel helpless.
Hi Lizzy,
Make 2013 the year to meet someone new to put your energy into and move on!
x
hey Matthew!
thank you so much for all your words of wisdom! It always brings hope back to me, not just regarding guy, but people in general too.
2 years ago in high school, I put myself out there completely in a hope of making a ton of friends. turns out there is such a thing as being ‘too out there’ and being overtly enthusiastic. I ended up making a ton of people uncomfortable and I get that now, but it was tough being rejected like that.
it did make me a little stronger. Now I’m pretty much indifferent to rejection. but with that I’ve become somewhat indifferent to the positive in people too, which is hardly a good thing. this year, like you said, I’m gonna put myself out there the right way. sure, rejection may hurt, but if I don’t I won’t let myself receive the warmth and love of people either.
so thank you :)
Hi Neeraja,
That’s exactly what you have to keep in mind when you’re facing rejection. Ultimately, the right people are worth going through it.
Thanks!
x
A couple of times when I’d been chatting to a guy for a while, was trying to find out a guy’s number or asking if he had a girlfriend… both guys were just really blunt about saying no! One guy even looked disgusted that I’d asked – what a lovely response :-) At least women often have the grace to reveal they’re flattered that a guy tried to get their number or ask them out, even if they’re not interested in the guy.
Hi Rachel,
Thanks for sharing your story with all of us! Rejection is never easy but with all of these stories we can help people not feel alone in it.
x
Rejection! OH GOD. Last year, I’ve been rejected by the two persons I love most. First, My best friend. We’ve known each other for about three years, we shared everything together, we were like brothers. But in March, 2012. And honestly, I really don’t know why, he broke up with me, telling me that we’re just not meant to be, like that, with no reason, he walked out of m life. It sucked, to be honest. I wanted to put and end to my life, i was done! But then, I saw all of your videos online, You were such a positive person, wise, and you give precious & usefull advices. You helped to get through the sadness. So, I went to his home, I forced him to talk to me, telling him that he’s simply an idiot, that he’s such a jurk and everything, and at the end, before i leave, I told him, that he’s still my friend, that i do love him [as a friend]. And then, after many days, he came back and appologized to me for everything, but I told him that were not meant to be. And since that day, I feel so good about myself, I don’t know why. The second person who rejected me was my girlfriend, she told me: You’re not what i’m looking for, i’m sick of this, of us. But the weird thing is that we’ve been together for like a year. Well, that’s the problem, it’s only been a week, I don’t know how to get over her, what I should tell her, ps: I think i still love her. Anyway, i’m all confused. A little help Matt please ?!
Thank you, have a good day and an amazing year.
Lots of love, Riad.
Ps: if I made mistakes while writing this, please forgive me. Xoxo..
Well, this is just one of many, I guess :P
I was about 19 years old and at a friends party when a really cute (also a little drunk) guy started chatting me up. I was up for fun, so after a while we made out a bit (yeah always a good start to a relationship, I know..). Anyways, we exchanged numbers and said goodbye after a really long night together (still at that friends house though).
A few days later he still hadn’t called or anything, so I thought, well, I’ll just text him and see if he wants to meet up. He then texted me back that he had kinda forgotten me and met his dream woman and they’re now seeing each other blabla.
It all seemed like an excuse and like he didn’t want to be confronted with this at all, and when I did contact him, he hat to find some easy way out. And even if it was true, I don’t know, being forgotten? Not that nice…
Hi Maryam,
It’s really brave for you to share your story with all of us. It’s appreciated!
x
Hi Matthew! Thanks for the encouragement. Here is my rejection story that happened a few months ago.
My boyfriend (that I dated for 7 months) cheated on me with a married woman from his work. I hate the fact that he had kissed me & brought up getting married the next day after he had cheated on me, meanwhile during this time he was flirting with this other girl on his phone. I broke up with him when he told me that he lied to me & some of what happened with this other girl. After I broke up with him, a few days later he got into a relationship with a different girl from his work who was also married. That only lasted for two weeks. After that he got into another relationship lol with a girl from his work who is three years younger than me & he told me that he can’t stand her personality. They broke up for a few weeks and now are back together again. We aren’t talking anymore now (which is a good thing). I have to remind myself why I broke up with him so he doesn’t try to talk me into coming back (which he has tried). Sometimes it’s like I forget that he’s a creep & that he cheated on me once he starts talking. I’m ready for 2013 though, to move forward in life & forget about him. :)
Hi Ashley,
2013 can be the year to move forward; let’s do it together!
x
My most painful experience with rejection was the night before new years eve about two years ago. The son of an old family friend came back into town after being away for a long time. I hadn’t seen him since we were young and now that we were both adults, there was a new-found attraction. We first started communicating and talking as friends, it then turned into this sort of “flirtationship” where we would talk on the phone, text all day, be flirty etc.. he started to become distant and text/call less but the flirtatiousness intensified, and I was under the impression he really wanted me. One particular week he became very distant, and I was experiencing some distress because I had just found out I’d lost my scholarship to the university i was attending. I wanted to talk to confide in him, so I called. He kept the conversation short and didn’t say much. Then I asked him what he was doing for new years… he told me he’d be spending it with his girlfriend. I played it cool and said that that was nice, but as soon as I hung up I cried. I had involved myself emotionally with a guy who had a girlfriend. It’s not the typical “rejection” but rejected was how I felt.
Hi Genevieve,
Plenty of girls have been in your shoes and I know that you story helps them feel not alone. Thanks for sharing!
x
It is just hard put myself out there 3 times last year and got rejected 3 times. One guy moved away for work, second guy we became friends, and knew he was not boyfriend /husband material but just fun to hang out with, 3rd one we have been friends for 3 years and he asked for my number and we started hanging out going for walks, texting talking and emailing. New years day posts he is in a relationship…what a way to find out…;o( I just want to stop being everyone’s friend. So this year continueing to get healthy, lose more weight concentrate on me ;O) Happy New Year Ladies & Matt and good luck to all of you. Karen
Hi Karen,
Thanks for sharing with us! Working on yourself is a surefire way to further your life towards your goals.
x
The worst rejection I’ve experienced was in the summer of 2012. I’d known this guy for 12 years – we dated on and off, then he got married. While he was married we actually became good friends. His marriage lasted 5 years. I went back to London in June and we met up. We talked, laughed, kissed. We met a few days later at a wedding and he barely spoke to me. I left a few days later – and even though he said he’d arrange an evening for us to hang out, I never heard from him. I went back home and couldn’t get out of bed for a week. Not because I thought anything would come of it, but because I thought I meant more to him as a friend. It’s been 7 months and we still haven’t spoken. I have since lost all respect for him and realise I don’t need people like that in my life!
Hi Amelia,
Thanks for sharing your story with everyone. So many women have been in the same position, you sharing your story helps them all.
x
Hi Matthew,
Big fan! Your material has really helped a lot and I look forward to making 2013 a year filled with lots of new experiences and adding value to my life!
My worst rejection is my most recent one – decided to start dating my then best male friend in May 2012. We were going back and forth a while, but ended up officially dating exclusively. And then six months down the line, he tells me he is moving to Australia (we live in London). Boom! But — he would like to keep dating me until Christmas. Eh, jeez, thanks?
We are still friends, not the way we used to but we still talk. I try not go get charmed by him again as I know I am not a priority in his life, so I will not make him one in mine…
But single, in London and armed with awesome advice – 2013 is looking spectacular already!
Xx
Lena
Hi Lena,
You have a great attitude! 2013 is going to be fantastic. Thanks for commenting!
x
I have this friend who I was semi involved with several years ago. We had very strong feelings for each other for a while, but nothing happened because he was dating my best friend. We eventually let things fade out and got back to being friends. Throughout the years the level of our friendship would vary from casual friends, to every once in a while friends, however, because I never got any closure, I would have strong feelings for him when I did see him. He moved to San Francisco [I’m near LA] for about a year and that was fine. But when he moved back home, we started playing music together and old feelings started to resurface. I didn’t want to say anything because even though I knew I would feel better to have it off my chest, I didn’t want to lose a friend and great drummer. He then started blowing me off and we stopped playing music. When we finally started talking again, I decided it was time to tell him. I drove by his house and asked him to come outside and meet me. We talked and I told him what was going on and what had been going on. I told him that, for my own sanity, I needed him to tell me nothing would ever happen between us and he did. Maybe it’s not the same because I told him to reject me. Maybe he was lying and something will eventually happen. But regardless, I believe him and I’ve been so much better because of it. I no longer see him in that light and I’ve really moved on for the first time in six years.
A testament to the positive side of rejection.
Matthew!
Just turned 22, and I spent all of last year focusing on school and work. Still in school, but wanted to shift some energy on a non existent love life! Went out with some friends, and chatted with a few guys. I used the tried and true method of “21” questions. I literally just bounced off question with the guys, and I only ever asked two at the most three. Two of the guys said how relaxed I seemed in our conversation. One joked and said if I had an ear piece in… told them I learned from the best!
Big congratulations to you and your new ventures!
Wishing you all the best!
Cristina
Hello Matthew,
First I wanted to say thank you because in the short few days that I have discovered you, I have learned so much about myself and behaviors that have been interfering with being that “high Values Women” I need to be.
So my most recent experience was only a few weeks ago, I met a guy online, we talked back and forth for a few days and he asked me out for a Saturday night (this was on a Monday). In my eyes, things were going good, great conversations, which he fully participated in, etc. On Thursday I asked what we were doing for our date and he made up some poor excuse, (which I saw immediately as a blow off) that he had a company Xmas party that he forgot about and wasn’t sure if he was going to attend but he would let me know the following day….well Friday came and went and I haven’t heard from him since. I never saw any signs of him losing interest or something I might of said that would have changed his mind about me.
About 6 years ago, I got up the courge to send an email to a very handsome solicitor that I was working with, asking him out on a date. He sent me a very nice reply explaining that he was happily married with two kids so had to decline. He did say how flattered he was though and how long it had been since he had been asked out. I was rejected but I felt fine about it and I even felt good that I had made his day! :0)
Hi Louise,
That’s a great story, thanks for sharing!
x
Happy New Year Matthew! Eagerly waiting for your book.
I was rejected TWICE by the same guy! I thought I could change the way he thought about me by making the times we spent together special, fun and tension free. I cannot lie, I still have feelings for him but when he said no the second time I took it casually, again, and backed off. Then he said he would hate to lose me as a friend because I was so awesome, but I told him I needed a little space. Haven’t spoken to him since but I feel if I can just get through this, I will be ready for the next round of dating and the rejection that comes with it.
Hi Judy,
You have the right attitude. Take your time and when you’re ready re-watch this video and you’ll be ready to get them.
x
Hey Matthew.
I love the idea about making people become comfortable with rejection. Personally, when it comes to relationships, I have never really had a problem with it. Not that I haven’t been rejected. No, I’ve been rejected more times than I can count, but I know that they are missing out on something amazing, and consider it there loss and my gain. They saved me the trouble of being with someone who didn’t value me.
My toughest rejection story would have to be the first one that really mattered to me. I had met a guy while visiting a friend and we hit it off quite quickly. Apparently his friends thought so too, because they kept commenting on how out of character he was acting. That they had never seen him blow off his own rules of conduct like he was.
Anyway, after returning home, I tried to stay in touch, but something happened and it just didn’t work out. I never heard from him again. I think the reason the rejection hurt so much was because of my reading into what his friends said more than the connection that I had with him. I think we could have been great friends, but I just don’t think he was used to the teasing that he got from everyone who thought there was more to it than that.
Hi Crystal,
Thanks for sharing. Every story helps someone else get through the sting of rejection.
x
I know mine wasn’t exactly the kind of post you were looking for Matthew, but I just hoped it helps someone. I wish that more women could see that rejection generally benefits them. Why waste your time on someone who doesn’t respect you enough to learn more about you? You should only want to spend time on a person who sees you for what you have to offer. If they can’t, it’s their loss. :)
It was in the beginning of 2012, when my friend Kelly and I decided to go to dinner at an Italian restaurant. When I waited for my friend to arrive, I got seated in the restaurant, and my waiter came by. He flirted up a storm with me even while Kelly was there with me also. He was tall and handsome. He even told me he didn’t charge me for my drink, which I assumed that he may be into me.
After my friend egged me on to leave my number on the check, I did.
I was so embarrassed about it that I snuck out before he could see me leave.
That night he called me, saying how beautiful I was and how attracted he was to me BUT he had a fiancé! He told me he would like to keep in touch through facebook, but I wasn’t digging it! I felt rejected.
However, I met someone wonderful five months ago, we are dating, and I couldn’t be any happier! Those times when we get rejected lead us to take more chances until we meet the one that is just right for us! Keep trying, is my motto!
Great motto, Shay! Thanks for commenting. x
Hey Matt, thanks for all the great advice! It’s made me view dating and myself in a whole new light. I have been rejected by guys and have said no to them too. If that’s what it takes to find that special person to have fun and enjoy life with then that’s ok with me. I’ve met some interesting guys and made some new friends too! Always enjoy your videos and can’t wait for your book to come out in the U.S. :)
Hi Julie,
I’m glad I could be of help! Its always great to hear that people are enjoying the site.
x
Well, I can’t share my experiences because I’m never brave enough to talk to people in the first place. :( I don’t want to be rejected. So I feel it’s more safe to just not say anything.
Hi Lizzie,
I hope this year is they year that you try to open your life to meeting new people. Read some of the comments, rejection happens to everyone, its your attitude that makes it easy to shake off.
x
Hi.
I’ve been wondering, is it a mistake to let a guy know I’m bisexual (but only interested in dating the opposite gender-guys)? It’s not the first thing I would tell him, but maybe later on?