Leave a comment telling me about a time you got rejected. What happened? Where were you? What happened? What did you say? How did it go down? Let everyone know about it and let’s start off the year with the freedom of being in a place where rejection is OK.
Deep in the past, two men left me for the arms of the same other woman: not just any woman, but New York City! How does a mere woman begin to compete? I was quite disconcerted and forlorn!
I am on an online dating site and met a man for lunch who I was unsure about but thought I would go out with him for another date if he asked. He said I was even prettier than my picture and he asked me out for Saturday night and I said yes, he never called. I guess that’s rejection and the reason doesn’t even matter. Glad to not have wasted my time. I think this happens very often to me with the online dating especially. Sometimes I can see that men might just blurt out let’s see eachother again which doesn’t feel like too much rejection when they don’t call back but when they set up a specific day/time and then don’t call well, that does feel like rejection. I do feel it’s their loss and I am trying not to overthink the why’s. It’s odd though because there were even times when I had a great time and even a great kiss with a guy and he asked me out and then never called (and I know the kiss was great b/c 90% tell me so). I don’t know why this happens, I am smart and nice but not a pushover but whatever, at least I am not wasting my time with someone who isn’t going to see it through with me. I guess it does confuse me but in the end it’s all just rejection until I find “the one” which I have verbally stated I will be finding in 2013, though I tried to give fit December in there b/c I liked a guy I met but that didn’t work out so apparently I will meet “the one in 2013…lol!!!
Hi Matt, I kinda got rejected last month. I was seeing this guy for 3 months and everything went great. so I told him I’m not seeing anybody else, I only want to see him now, it’s cool if he’s seeing anyone else we could still be friends. He said he’s not seeing anyone else since we met but tbh he is still looking…..so we are only friends now I haven’t contacted him since and looking forward to dating other people. Thank you x
Hey Matthew,
I just got rejected by a guy I really like.
We went on a few dates and then he ended it.
6 moths later (on this Christmas eve), he texted me that I am the girl of his dreams and that he wants to give it another try. He never texted again.
I wrote to him, asked how is he going and maybe we could get together some time soon. His response was that he hasnt got time to do that. Thats it. He did it again. And I dont get it at all!
this has happened to me before with someone who i found out later was a mega-player and womanizer…. someone who will do anything and pull any trick out of his hat to pull you in, but as soon as you show interest, he’ll suddenly back off, become unavailable, and ultimately disappear.. and then just when you think you’re safe you’ll get a text out of nowhere. my friendly advice, run far far away and don’t respond or block his number :) would save you loads of potential pain.
Hi Matthew, your post comes in such a good timing!
I got rejected last week. My dad was in hospital in the last few months and while I visited him regularly after a while I noticed one very handsome doctor. We never had a chance to really talk as I was there with my whole family most of the time while he did his job. Still when I saw him he always had a big smile on his face and even my mum noticed that he might be attracted to me. After my dad left the hospital I was devastated that I wouldn’t see the doctor anymore.
Then I found him on facebook (I’m not a crazy stalker!) and decided to send him a message last week to wish him a happy new year which I thought would be a good occasion.
That was last Wednesday, he hasn’t replied yet and I don’t think he will, it could be that he didn’t even recognize me. Of course it bothers me now but I’m glad I took the risk. If I hadn’t I would have always regretted not taking a chance once more again – a feeling that is the worse than getting rejected.
Hey you!!!
One time I got rejected was a few years ago. There was this singer in Germany that I immediately got hots for. So after the concert I got up to him, said some compliment about his voice in german and continued in english… I basicaly asked him out, but he said that he had a girlfriend etc. We still talked about ten minutes and I was so happy that I still got to meet such a nice no bullshit guy. We sometimes still chat online. Anyway, never tried coming up to a guy since(even though I’m not afraid), but for my recent weight gain, but that a different story :) Thanx for reading!!!
Ruta from Lithuania
Well, rejection is the most concerning problem when it comes to making a move… I have a new neighbour, actually a very attractive and clever guy, but I am not sure what would happen if I asked him out or if it is my duty to do so as a girl. The concept of value is also an important issue, thank you for drawing my attention to that, because I think that lack of self-confidence and being afraid of rejection are closely connected. Anyway, I have never been rejected, only because I don’t usually try to contact with guys.
The great part about rejection is that you attempted something! So it is two fold… a woman or man gathered the guts to try something… they did… it was either embraced or rejected at lease they tried =)
Hello Matt! I just found you few days ago on Youtube when I was looking for men body language and I can tell you that I just fell in love with your videos (they are really inspiring!). Well, I just was about to get marry last year, I bought the dress, and set up the marriage date and then boom! we decided to break up I came back to Brazil and he got in U.S. it took me 1 year to be healed (not completely)he still keeps emailing me and very curious about my life. he tells me he always want to be in touch, I really don’t get that! I “m actually much better now but I think hard about it I feel so stupid, however, every single woman in the world will fall in love with him because he is handsome, romantic and sensitive man that all women dream about. Anyway, sad love story, but I fell free now and I see it wasn’t meant to be! Matt when do you come to give us a seminar in Brazil????? Waiting for you, take care and Thanks for all the advices! :) ohh PS.: HE’S COACH too!
I was dating a man for a month. Things were going well and then I noticed changes. He was moving into a new place and asked me to stay with the first night. The night before, he told me there would be no sex that night and I pressed the issue and ask him why. He told me that he wasn’t sure he wanted “this to become a relationship.” I said okay and we talked about it a little while. Then, he told me to give him a week and I said okay.
A few days later I called him and told him that the week idea would not work for me and and he either wanted to be with me or he did not. He told me he felt our chemistry was too strong to give up, so we went out one more time.
That last outing was not good. He looked like crap (didn’t try to look go at all), was tired and just not fun to be around and I found my attraction to him had diminished significantly. Things did not go on from there, and I have since realized that I wasn’t that into him in the beginning.
I am working on listening to myself more and trusting my instincts, as they are always good.
I got rejected at many an acting audition for being too tall!
But luckily the modelling world saw this as a good thing and accepted that.
I’ve been rejected by several amazing men.
That was an ego wound! Tail between legs :( ouch
I’ve rejected myself – that was awkward! Didn’t look in mirrors for a good few years.
But luckily all that has been rejected in the past, has later been accepted by somebody or something else more amazing and of more value in the future. ;)
Good luck with rejection everyone!
And thanks for the video M! Captivating energy.
Hi Matthew,
thanks for your awesome blog and the fast track to mr. right course :) You’re really a people specialist!
The rejection that hit me hardest is a few years back, when I was 18 and shortly before I started studying at a university away from my hometown. A “friend” of mine who was 4 years older and who I’d had a crush on since I was 15 invited me to his birthday party as usual. He also studied in the same city as I do now. I had never gotten anything more than friendly attention from him, but then one of his friends started flirting with me at the party. My friend got really jealous to the point of making his friend go home and trying to keep me away from him. We then made out. After that, I took the bus from my hometown to the university town to visit him for the weekend a few times. He picked me up from the train station, showed me around, surprised me with little gifts and showed me how to register with the university.
After a few visits and ambigous to no response at all on his side when I asked what exactly our relationship status was, I put him on the spot and told him to tell me what he wants right now, even if it was no. He told me “Well right now I don’t know what this is, but it’s definitely not a relationship.”
That hurt really badly, but I liked the guy as a friend so much that we started talking again after a few weeks. He was always a really sweet and reliable friend, even though it took me a few more years to completely get over him.
The experience also taught me a lot about how to spot and avoid damaged guys, and about how not to drive off any guy by coming on too hard (I guess).
Hey Matthew! Happy new year!!
Well, this is the very first time that i am commenting on one of your videos. I really want to thank you because of this one though. It has really motivate me to have a better love life this year. I experienced rejection a couple of months ago. I come from a latinamerican country and i moved to Australia at the beginning of 2012. I became very close friends with a colombian guy and since we both speak spanish i guess it was easier for us to connect and get along. He is the flirty kind of guy, and i could figure that out immediately. However, as time passed he would text me the whole day everyday. We started dating, and he would take me to nice and romantic places just to talk and spend time with me. Before He came to AU he broke up with his girlfriend and was still trying to get over it. after a few months, he told me that he didn’t feel the same about her and that he was sure of it. He started to get very jealous if i spoke to other guys and he would always check my phone. Later on, he started playing hot and cold with me. Honestly, i got tired of not knowing what was going on so i decided to tell him i like him before he went for holidays to his country. He was very nice to me and found the best way to tell me that he only wanted to be “friends” with me. I agreed with him because i care about this guy so much that i still want him in my life at least as a friend. However, the fact that he acted as he wanted something more made me angry and it still hurts. He’ll be back to AU in a few weeks. during all this time that he’s been out he has texted me almost everyday but i still don’t know what’s going on. So i think is better to move on and find someone new :)
Here’s my experience with rejection:
It was back in my junior year of high school and i liked this one guy and he seemed to like me too… or i thought he did and so did some of our mutual friends… he even slow danced with me at our winter formal and stayed with me over half the night though him and one of his friends when as friends. So as the year went on we were both flirting so because for valentines day i was giving candy to all my friends and he saw that but trying to be kinda nice and flirty i was like “here, i gave everyone one else one but you can have two”, and later that day he texted me being like “I know you like me but i just don’t feel the same way, sorry” So i think that was my worst rejection. It was hard to understand because to everyone around us it looked like he liked me too. Can you explain this to me? Thank you!!
Hi Matthew!
I don’t have any rejection stories because I’ve never ever had the confidence to go for a guy I liked. I’ve never even known HOW to ‘go for’ a guy and I’m now getting on (47) and still don’t have an idea of what to do or the confidence to do it. I’ve always ended up with guys who had an interest in me, never guys I’ve liked.
I’m very scared of rejection so your idea of preparing for rejection is very interesting so I’m going to try it out, it might just work.
2013 is the year when I come out of hiding and summon up the courage to go dating again. Bring it on Matthew, I want to learn all you have to share!
Thanks
Your eager student
Jackie
:-)
after dating for 4 months including other hot stuff,hahaha.everything was going sooo great,till he decided to come and tell me,he knows how woman are,and he cant commit to me 100%.
my answer was okay,and i didnt contact him,i was over it.till he started to contact me again and wanted to see me,which i agreed but told him,i dont want everything to be about s.e.x.he tried the first time i saw him again and i said,no.my mistake was sending him an email asking him if he didnt want to date me.to which he didnt give me answer..which lead me to be confused.so now he keeps on staring me when he sees me,and he looks happy to see me.then i send a message,which he also doenst reply.THAT WAS A YEAR AGO.i want my rejection,damn it.i wanna move on,i am a greatt woman,not only beautiful but i have a lot going on,i dont wanna live like this.i feel stuck,i dont want any hope.thanks for reading.
Hey, Mathew!
First I just wanted to say thanks for all great advice. :) It’s really helped me a lot.
I think this is worse: but I’ve actually NEVER been rejected. It’s because I’ve never actually taken a chance. :( But ever since I’ve been watching your videos, I’ve realized something about myself. I have to work on ME before I can work on a relationship. :) But I am happy to report that thanks to your help I believe this is the year. LUCKY 13!
I’ve been crushing on a really good ‘friend’ of mine for a while now and I’m ready to try to get out of the ‘friend-zone’. Thanks so much.
Even if I get rejected by her, I will still be able to ask other people. :)
Hey Matthew, Jackie again, just remembered a rejection I had a few years ago.
I met a guy for a date ( from a dating website) and I really liked him, we got on well, chat was flowing, and a ‘hey yes, let’s go and see xxx’ opportunity came up. So we said goodbye and I waited and waited and after about a week I sent an email saying ‘do you still want to go to see xxx?’ and he said he’d met someone else.
:-(
It knocked me for six, I’d only just started dating and it had taken a lot of courage to start dating after the last breakup.
That rejection hit me hard and really put me off, but I see now that if I’d had a different attitude towards rejection, a ‘ah well, whatever….. what’s my next opportunity?’ type of reaction, I maybe would have picked myself up, dusted myself off and gone on to the next date with a little experience under my belt.
thanks Matthew, I’m learning already
what would we do without you? Looking forward to the book.
Jackie
At university, I was attracted to a guy and we were getting along really well. After a month, there was additional e-mailing and I discovered that I ‘felt more positive’ for him, while he discovered that I like food very much. Since we were from another race and culture, I offered him a chance to try some of my favourite food. He agreed, but he never showed up. I was furious! Wanted to hit a bowling ball towards his head! But I knew that we were busy, having a thight schedule before and after the set time, so I just left after five minutes.
I expected him to apologize and explain things to me afterwards and try to make it right, since it was polite behaviour of me. Well, time faded away and he did not! Well, I did not bring up the issue myself either; because if he say sorry because I asked him to, then it would not be sincere to me. So every time we spoke, I actually wanted to kill him (of course, not really!).
After 3 months, I heard nothing from him. But accidently I found out that his DVD’s were in her house and that she had to return it. She was just an acquaintance of me. Although I was furious and jealous at the same time (screaming in my mind how his DVD’s ended up at her place), this did not made me feel rejected. Although it confirmed my intuition that I had before; that he was attracted to her. I felt so stupid, I was just a 2nd choice. After a while, the girl said that they contacted minimal, and that he only wanted to speak to me, that she was just passing gifts from him to me. So I assumed that he was indeed interested in me as well.
After several months again, I got so furious that he yet did not say sorry. So I pushed him to, he was denying the agreement and said not planning to apologize. I mean who does this?! After some time again, I found out there was a girl who he had a crush on for year(s). And that they worked together at the same department as his’ in the quiet period, before and after the period when he was saying sweet things to me.
AND NOW I GOT IT: I was indeed his 2nd choice, but the acquaintance was not before me. She was number 3, I was number 2 and YET another girl was number 1! This was not even the rejection to me, but this: after 9 months, through the phone he told me not to call him anymore while he was the one saying sweet things to me, he was the one asking me in the past whether I was single, he was the one giving me gifts. I mean, he did the move, I did not force him to! I mean you cannot make people fall for you and then just leave whenever you want! Or am I just from another planet?
I was soooo astonished by what he had to say that I was just speechless, there was only an ‘okay’ coming out of my mouth and the phone was hung up. Now, I wish that I’ve said who he think he was.
Hi Mathew,
Great advise! Thank you so much! I really enjoyed all your videos. I was rejected recently for a guy that got closed to me in a romatic way. After a few months, he wanted me to be his roomate. Since, we didn’t have nothing officially I thought about and didn’t respond quick. A month later and after still been in contact with me he told me that he has a girlfriend with a daughter living with him and if I still wanted to be his rommate. I was devastated and told him not with her. He even had the never to asked me to babysit his daughter so he can go out on new years with his girlfriend. I told him that I have plans but my heart was broken. :( I am having the worse time getting over him. I wish this year meet someone amazing that makes me look forward.