I get it…. You’ve all had a good laugh at my botched spray tan. (In case you missed it, watch last Sunday’s blog and check out all of the negative comments on YouTube).
Now you may think that type of thing gets me upset, but it doesn’t. It used to, of course – I’m only human. But being in the public eye, I’ve learned a few things about overcoming negativity and bad energy, and I want to share them with you today…
Hi Matt! Love this video and the touch of keeping it raw made it even better. I am 44 years old with 4 young adult sons. I’m often asked “You have grown children, I thought you were my age!” Unfortunately, when I look in the mirror I see my ‘squared off’stomach. Therefore, my insecurity is my stomaMy insecurity is the bit of extra weightch. But, listening to your video; I am working on excepting me more. I am a beautiful woman and I should except that about myself and (in this case) focus on what others tell me. ;)
Hello Matt. Your vid comes at a very ‘coincidental’ time.
I will be attending the retreat in San Diego in August….it just so happens that I have never done anything like that before, and I am both terrified and excited.
Furthermore, I am feeling extra self-conscious about my weight. I am trying to lose 20 lbs before the retreat.
Omg, I can’t believe I just admitted that. So did I just own it? Lol……seriously, I’m laughing now, while just the other day, I was depressed over it. But I don’t really feel better…..yet. I have always had body issues, even when I weighed 110 lbs. So, there you have it.
I will be seeing you face-to-face next month, and you know one of my worst personal issues…..and so does everyone else. :o
Great video, thanks. I have a physical disability and I struggle with whether or not to disclose it in online dating profiles, so I usually do, thinking that it’ll save me from having to disappoint someone later on after investing some time. Would you agree that’s a good approach?
All the best
I have a comment for Samantha.
No you don;t have to disclose ANYTHING so personal to ANYBODY until you have met them and talked to them and have decided whether they are WORTHY enough to tell you inner secrets too. I too have a physical problem, I had my leg partially amputated from a motorcycle accident last year when I was just a passenger on the bike.
Since that time I have lost all friendships in my life because nobody wants to visit a cripples person. I am very lonely and alone. I have recently decided to start PAINTING ALL MY EMOTIONS onto canvas. It has helped because I will try to sell them at a festival this year.
all by myself it is hard to muster up the confidence to actually think someone would purchase my work, but Mathew said “Don’t worry what others think…OWN IT.” and I am.
Finally.
Well I seemed to be totally off your subject but thanks for listening and remember what I said..Somebody must earn the right to know our vulnerabilities. I think at least. Otherwise most the time they won’t even bother wanting to even meet you.
Peace always and Love
Tatiana
Oh my gosh– stumbled upon this video by accident and it was such a timely encouragement. i recently called it off with a guy for a number of reasons– but a couple of weeks ago we were talking about if there were any ‘red flags’ about the other we wanted to share. one of mine was that I don’t like how often he gets drunk and the person he becomes when he is drunk. He said to me that he ” struggled with my weight” and that he was used to being with fit girls because he himself wants to be fit. He himself has recently put on a lot of weight too. being fit is something that is a goal of mine and there are obviously personal reasons for my weight gain over the past 2 years and i totally justified myself to him! and did i feel better for it? no. i felt so so small and insecure. it was something i am insecure about and to have someone who you’re in a relationship say that have an issue with it too….wow. i have no words. it is possible to move on from that?
i found this video very encouraging…. I’m not justifying anymore. i want to be fit for myself and because i have pride in my appearance and health and want to be the best me….not because of what someone else thinks.
There is a hereditary turkey neck thing that I’m starting to see that I’m super self conscious about. I absolutely hate it! Vanity sucks!
Matt,
This has been one your best videos yet. Authentic is an understatement. There is nothing sexier than a person who embraces their flaws. I think I have ugly feet!
Thanks great wisdom always… i think my nose is too big …
I own that I’m insecure about my under arm flab.
Step #3, – Practice Compassion. Because we both know that the people making those comments had a childhood that was likely lacking in some form of fundamental happiness, as did, maybe, the parents that raised them..and perhaps the generation before. Point being, if you take that into consideration you just have to feel compassion for their unfortunate and unhappy circumstances and how those are blocking their own abilities to focus on the positive. Last step :) I loved your insights :)
So!
Loved this post!! I loved seeing you in your philosophical glory. We’ll meet professionally someday and I hope we have a lively exchange :)
What insecurity do I own? A few years ago, during a high stress time of my life I made a terrible decision and tattood my eyebrows. I felt like I was a freak, and I couldn’t hide it…so I owned that shit. I owned it through those first few months where people stared because they were so dark. I own it today, since I make no effort to hide them under makeup. I’m sure people notice, and I have a moment still where the thought “bet they’re noticing” flits through my head, but I let it pass right on through and love my life. Fuck it. My face could be half dropping and I’d own that too. Here I am, take it or leave it world. And the fact is, you really are more beautiful when you own yourself in all your glory and scars, because what you project is always 10 times more beautiful than what you put on.
Anyway :)
I’m Chantal, the girl from Toronto
Hi Mathew !
lol your face is the same color of your hands too!!
YES! I AM NOT HAPPY WITH MY WRINKLES SHOWING UP AS I GET OLDER AND MY BIG THIGHS.
There.. I said it!
Thank you for your raw video on the surprising way to become instantly attractive.
I seem to remember a time when nothing could stop me. But as I age I feel LESS confident, like all the younger people are going to run me over in my field of ART ( the love that I have never “put out there” until this year) It took me 50 years to decide to try and actually make money off my own style of art and painting abstract canvases,
Your video today actually was Just what I needed to hear.
AMAZING YOU ARE AND I LOVE YOU TOO.
Thanks for all the great inspiring videos you give to us women alone trying to find our TRUE SELVES in a chaotic world.
Tatiana xoxo
Hi. Really liked this video but my question is how to deal with this type of scenario face to face without losing standards? I do improv classes but one of my fears in performing is being mocked in front of an audience and not knowing the best way to desk with it. I am not a fan of my nose either. ☺
I didn’t even notice the spray tan Matthew! Am I the only one who didn’t? It was the content I was most interested in but fascinating how something so comparatively small can generate an entire new discussion!
My loss of two of my teeth. Both are on different sides towards the back of my mouth, but I cringe when I look in the mirror or at pictures. I know that this can be fixed but no money or insurance to do it. I know it’s not how you look but how you act. I’m trying to be less superficial about things like this. You are helping
My flamingo legs n knobby knees!!! I hv knobby knees which don’t look great when I wear short dresses n heels. My upper body shape is like an apple!!
My skin color. I grew up in an environment where I was “too white”. got harassed a lot and even today got wounds from the past. Moving to a place where I have more people who look like me helped, although I still get bugged sometimes. Wish the world was more tolerant and friendly.
And btw skinny guys are hot!
Thanks Matt, This was one of your best ever videos. (I like that it’s less polished and glossy) – it struck a real chord. Really liked the bit about not giving ur power away and feeling you have to explain yourself. So true!! We all have insecurities! Mine is my nose. Really mean girls at school used to call me Pinocchio which was particularly harsh. As a teenager I used to obsess over how it looked it but now that I’m older I rarely even think about it. I’ve plenty of other good things about me that cancel it out.
It’s taken me just a little over a month to post on here about it, since I got the email about it. Initially I started something, then deleted it. The thing I’ve never liked about myself is my face and my instinct has always been that I want to hide. I even wanted to join the ugli model agency (which I later found out is for ‘unusual’ models and not ‘ugly’ as such).
There was a major turning point last year when I did see myself on video, which was hard to do at first (not many of us like it anyway). But when I saw myself talking, it really didn’t look that bad. I don’t mean in terms of facial attractiveness/beauty, but because you see all your facial expressions and mannerisms which other people see and you don’t, which make you what you are. I also remember what Matt Hussey says in his advice in other vids that we’re not just a cardboard cutout and the thing that makes us individuals attractive in our own individual way is how we walk, talk and express ourselves. I still have issues and it may need a few more videos, or something similar, but it’s not as bad as it was. Something to work on.
This video was my everything. Sweet, sincere, down to earth. Completely natural. Kind, incredible.
I have so many insecurities which now in my 30’s i should know better than to waste my time worrying about. However of course I still do but this video was the perfect talk to keep us on the right track.
Funny, after trying to remain immaculate to keep a failing relationship.. extreme diet, fitness, being OCD about my hair and make-up… i have since been single the past couple months. Spent time with friends, eating, drinking, feeling more relaxed, happy even and now i go on holiday a little heavier wishing i was that skinny immaculate yet sad girl of a couple of months back…? no. I don’t actually.
i prefer a perfect mindset essential to help the rest fall into place which i know and believe it will! These videos are a huge help, really.
Thanks Matt,
I really enjoyed your video. I usually explain my decisions to the people at work, my family etc.. but this video truly empowered me and from now on i will own what I do without feeling the need to explain my choices. I am 32 and have the boobs of a boy. I really dislike this part of me. Everything else is one point :)- Lol
I absolutely love the fact that you put yourself out there. Without meaning to do it, you innocently show your imperfections. By doing this, you reveal to your followers that you are human, and as humans we all have flaws. The main difference in you and others, however, is that you embrace your imperfections with a positive attitude. As a result, your confidence shines through the camera. More importantly, you provide a real life example of how one can have confidence even when his/her imperfections are extremely noticeable. That’s a valuable lesson that so many of us need to learn and excerise in our daily lives. Thank you for the work you do and the encouragement you give to women to be the best, most wonderful self we can be every day of our lives.