Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.
How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…
You have absolutely nailed it Mr.Hussey! I felt this just last week. I’m in graduate school. I’m not dating this guy or anything, but our classmates went to grab lunch after class and we all basically took over a huge lunch table because we’re a big group. There was a lonely and studious looking girl already sitting there however. We apologized for taking her table but we needed it so that everyone could sit. We all talked to her a bit to make her feel less uncomfortable. However, I felt a moment of serious microattraction when she was getting up to leave. The rest of us just sort of ignored her because we were engrossed in conversation. But one of the guys smiled and waved at her. Her face lit up and she waved back . It was so sweet of him to do that. Whenever I see him, I can’t stop thinking about how kind it was of him to wave at this girl who we all forgot about 2 minutes later. That’s the moment I realized how genuine, sincere and inclusive he is at heart. That was also the moment I turned toward him and started talking.
We were in a loud restaurant and I mentioned in passing that I loved the song playing–Into The Mystic by Van Morrrison. It was so loud in the restaurant you could barely hear it. A few days later I was at his house and he played the song. This made my heart melt. He’d listened and I knew in that moment that I was head over heels.
I was travelling and the apt had a lot of staircases and I had 3 big suitcases, there wa sa guy standing near the door on the street and whilst I was dragging my suitcases and came out as they were heavy that guy without even my asking helped me carry NY bags to the Uber, the guy helped me When i did not even ask him contraray when he was in the middle of the door I gave him a bad look inspite of this in a diffeeent Country this guy helped me and that was so attractive to him, I even said it to his face that he was very sweet guy. Since he was in no obligation still he helped me.
A guy I had just met in a club moved my drink that I had put down on a table so that it was next to his when we went to dance …micro moment but it made a big impression and increased the attraction I felt towards him !
I totally agree, I have a Co worker that I’m very attracted too. This coworker works in our I.T.(computer)dept. So,I see him a lot.One morning my computer wasn’t working so he said he had to change out the hard drive.on the side I have “post it” with very important numbers. A lot of post it(organized). He waited until I went to lunch to change out the hard drive. When I got back he left a note on my desk saying everything was done. I was baffled because he had put every post it on the new hard drive as I had it before. Who does that? The “Little Things”. My attraction for him has grown because he took the time to leave something I had worked on the same. That said a lot to me. We still give each other glances but nothing has happened!that’s definitely another blog..lol.
Carmen, that’s so sweet of him. Have you asked him if he wants to get together? You could email him since he’s a colleague, saying something like let me buy you a coffee to thank you for your help? Don’t ask him if he’s free – just assume he is, and will accept your invitation. Confidence is key! Go for it – life is easy to short not to take the chance!
I was a sunday school teacher in church. One day, after teaching a lesson, I ran into the sunday school president. He asked me how my lesson went and I totally started geeking out on this passage of scripture. I had a moment where I became self conscious about looking overly pious, but that I looked at him and he was totally digging what I was sharing with him. INSTANT ATTRACTION!
Thanks for the great talk, yes you are totally right. I have this micro-attraction happened to me. on one of our first dates we hike for a few hours and when we came back to our car it was already dark so i dropped my favorite hat on the ground without realizing. we drove back to the city (about 30-40 min drive) and the I realized I dropped my hat- The guy surprisingly drove all the back back for 50% the chance of finding my hat in the dark. I am still wearing the hat these days :)
when he hung up my dress so it didn’t get crumpled on the floor – and he made a comment on the label.. mummm that’s a beautiful dress .. I know that designer..
I met a guy for a work meeting in a bar. I was super stressed at work. As soon as he saw me (for the first time ever) and I started talking, he paused and asked me if I didn’t want a beer first. Before talking about work. So that I could just breath in and out and relax. That was a powerful moment of immediate attraction.
Thank you Matthew for identifying and giving a label to those all important micro-attraction moments! Having created such a category for these experiences – it’s easy for me to pinpoint, and cull (borrowing from Oprah here…) those Ah Ha! Moments of which you so accurately and insightfully speak. Recently I was on a first “meet” with Tinder guy: 1). He was wearing a Vintage Tribe Called Quest album-cover t-shirt, I was “sold!”. 2) When walking together on the sidewalk he moved around me so that he was walking on the traffic side…sold & delivered!
I met a guy, randomly, at a bar on my birthday last fall. He was actually kind of a jerk that night. We danced a few times, chatted. He told me he thought we were “incompatible”.
We lived 75 miles away from each other, but we ended up spending the next 4 weekends together. We had so much fun, laughing, dancing, talking. Being with him felt so smooth, so effortless. During the week days, we chatted and text back and forth. I teased him about our “lack of compatibility” because it seemed we had nothing but.
On our fourth weekend together, we visited his dad’s farm (his childhood home). There was an old horse there. He introduced the horse to me, saying that she (the horse) didn’t care much for him. I joked how the old girl was hungry and probably just wanted a carrot.
We stayed the night at his dad’s place and the next morning, while I was getting ready, he went outside to feed the animals and check on the “damned old horse”.
Later, I joined him outside. It was the end of the season, cold and muddy. He had gone to the garden and dug up a carrot so I could feed it to the horse before I left. It was so simply wonderful. That was the moment I fell in love with him.
Unfortunately, for reasons unknown, it was also the last time I ever saw him again. Although this hurts me still, it is a memory I cherish and won’t soon forget.
Matthew is so right and a “microattraction” moment happened to me months ago when I met the guy I’m dating. He said just me offering him a bottle of water when I went to bring drinks for the rest of the table, made him realize that I had something in me that he didn’t see in other girls he had dated.
I met him at a night club, he didnt know me…we spoke briefly and I had to leave. He asked if he could walk me to my car.
I enjoyed the video Matt!
I have read The Five Languages of Love and find my primary Love Languages to be acts of Service and Quality Time. Someone simply having the courtesy to truly listen, considering your time, doing things together where their phone is not a constant intruder is delightful. Or if I have trouble with accomplishing something and they simply take the initiative to help out is also very attractive.
A guy I was seeing told me that he had noticed me all semester, and was drawn to me by how much attention I paid in class and by how hard I worked. He even altered some of his habits to improve his studying because of it.
I had two Dogs, and He had Pet Allergies. He came over to My House, which was already Kind of Him to do, and right away began interacting with My Dogs… “Oh NO, Your Allergies…?!?!” I cried. He then said the Most Amazing thing to Me…”No worries, I took a Bunch of ‘Benadryl’ before I got here just so I could Play with the Dogs…” And then He did the Unthinkable, He got down on the floor and began to Wrestle AND Cuddle them…!!! In that Moment I could not have been any more Assured that THIS is the Most BEAUTIFUL Man in the World… :):):)
Did he fall asleep from the Benedryl after? lol. I know the feeling because I am allergic too so I admire what he did! Def a keeper!!
This is such an inspiring mesaage. I felat even more arracted to this guy I am seeing, when he just naturally supported me when my sister had an accident. For me this was a big deal, but for him it wasn’t. And even more the way he talks to me: like my oppinion matters.
This guy I was seeing had a pet dog whom he loved very much (and I found so endearing). I went away for a wk or 2, and came back with a gift for him and one for the dog. Later on, he told me how touched he was by the gesture, to the point that I had even heard him tell friends :)
I loved how an ex cared for me when I had my 4 wisdom teeth out at one time.
Really appreciate this video, thanks Matt!
Hi Matthew!
I currently have a boyfriend who isn’t really big on words. He values actions over words (but I’m also working on that thanks to your other videos by the way )
So to answer your question, this little moment but still sticks with me, after a year and a half, took place when I was just getting into bed, no makeup, hair down etc and he just looked at me and told me I was beautiful. And the way he looked at me, it kind of felt as if he was looking in my soul, it was really sincere. And with all pear pressure we have today with social image and all, and him really being a guy, it kind of took me off guard. And well, I guess that was the moment I decided to go further with him. (and means I still have hope of dealing with his non verbal expression of feelings )
Looking forward to watching your next video!
I appreciate many of your videos. But this is my favorite so far because it talks about what we all crave–genuine depth and connection.
For me the micro-attraction that means the most is when a man knows that I have something that’s important to me and that I’m a little nervous about and he remembers and texts me that morning to show me his support.
I’m almost in tears right now thinking of how much that means to me. It really gives you such courage to know that someone is rooting for you and praying for you, and you’re not alone.