Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.
How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…
I was microattracted to a guy when I saw him shoveling the snow off the sidewalks at our church
I went on my first date with a guy and he offered to carry my coat for me. Months later, as I was going through so very difficult times, he would stay up late and sacrifice his sleep to talk to me because he thought/knew I was having a rough night and needed somebody. He wanted to make sure I was okay.
Always making sure I got home safe by calling me as soon as he dropped me off at the station.
P.s- Matthew! can u do a another parody of 50 shades freed!!! Last year’s video was hilarious and it’s only fair you do another one!! Pretty please!!! :)
Hi,
I can’t think of anything right now Haven’t been on a date in years don’t know why? I did have a few dates in the past but nothing seriuous Like to dance and sometimes go dancing. any suggestions..
This video was one of my top favorites! The most powerful micro attraction move I’ve ever experienced was when a guy I liked and considered a friend (but was not sure if he was someone I wanted to get involved with on a deeper level) intentionally walked into my peripheral vision during the burial of a loved one. He later told me he didn’t want to “interrupt” my family during our grief by coming up to me at the time but he wanted me to know he was “there for me”. (I “sensed” that was his intent when I saw him although we never made eye contact.) That small action gave me such a boost of strength to get through a horrible time of pain & loss. When he confirmed his intent weeks later that sealed my affection for him!
I’ve been told my ability to listen intently (with eye contact) is a “magnet” for some I have dated. It made them feel valued to have my full attention. Sad that is a rare commodity these days!
When he simply say he doesnt want to leave me feeling bad about myself.
He used to kiss me on my forehead
True story from Denmark… Here we are new to the concept of dating!!!
On my first date with my now bf – I had used the advice reguarding teksting. I had asked hin if he was up to a game – he was unsure, but went along. I decided to play a game of selection night. I sent him pitchers and Q and gave him the power to decide witch close he would like me to were, the perfume, the shoes etc. That I think already made him feel drawn to me…
On the date I asked him if he could pls. help me changing my shoes by holding the one pair. I could tell – he loved that he could help me.
Then later on that same date he held a door open for me (this is rare in DK) while putting his hand gently on my lower back – and befor we walked inside he saied “I really like you and I would love to see you again – if you whant to?”
In that moment I new – he has potential to be my husband.
We are now about 10 mounths into a seriuos relationship and are talking and planning about moving in together.
Bravo Matt for yet again being able to consicely distill such important and beautiful concepts in such accessible language. The truths you speak are exactly the truths our society needs to be hearing – so thank you for your thoughtfulness and generosity in taking the time to craft these ideas into digestible content.
As for one of my microattractions: I love my mother deeply and fiercely. I decided to move back to Florida to help her after my father passed away. One thing that I’m always concerned about is making sure she eats properly (she developed a bit of an eating disorder when she was a child as a result of an emotional trauma). One of many moments that deepend my attraction for my current boyfriend was when I was traveling out of state for a week, he asked me what all my mother liked to eat for breakfast. A few days later I came to find out that he was bringing her breakfast every morning on his own behest. This degree of thoughtfulness instantly melted my heart and I knew then without a doubt that this was a man I could spend the rest of my life with.
My boyfriend and I actually love talking about these little moments where we attract each other and here’s one of his with me (just so we can make sure the male voice is properly represented ): It was our first date and after getting ourselves some hot tea we went to an old-school Drive in theater. As we’re waiting in line to pay the attendant, I hand him my portion of money for the ticket. He looks at me a little confused and asks what it’s for to which I inform him. He refuses to let me pay, despite my attempts of insisting on it. A few months after dating he revealed to me that that interaction was quite a turn-on for him because I didn’t just assume that a male should pay for everything.
Again thanks for all the hard work your team and you put in! I always enjoy watching and reading what y’all create.
Okay I’m game.
My last boyfriend was considerably younger than I so I had some reservations about him being mature enough. It wasn’t until I heard from his friend that he moved in with his grandmother to take care of her when she was sick with cancer. Stayed with her until she passed away. That was my first micro attraction moment.
The moment for him was when I attended her funeral.
Even though it didn’t work out for us I remember how important those moments are in getting to know each other.
…And I won’t settle for less
I am so attracted to this man for many reasons. On this topic there are several.
He mentioned on his fb that “is it weird for a guy to have baby fever. Ive already been blessed in having the experience of being a dad but feel I have so much more to give” I commented and said “Oh wow (his name) wish there were more men out there like you who are not afraid to wear their heart on there sleeve” I said more etc. He replied and thanked me, mentioned what I said meant a lot to him. For a man to put himself out there on that topic, put him in a vulnerable position. Melted my heart and touched it.
He later reached out to me, asked me out and in one of our many conversations before meeting in person I told him something about who I was and my beliefs, something we had already talked about, so basically reminding him, he replied “ya I love that about you”. So one example for him of me on this micro attraction and on another, I recently started listening to his favorite guitarist whom had been removed from my memory until we were talking about our favorite topic which is music. It’s really how we met. He mentioned how great it was that I’m into this artist also in the way that it meant something to him for me to take interest. In us meeting in person I met his daughter and to see him in father daughter mode, well it was heartwarming. Very tendure, loving and compassionate. A great father. A gentleman to myself he is. On another example This past Christmas coming home from work there was this frail old lady standing out in the cold needing food and money, he graciously gave her the few bucks he had on him along with his dinner he picked u for himself. He is an amazing man. He remembers things I even forget that we talk about, that is so huge. But then I too remember what he tells me that he forgets. To remember shows you listen and care.
He lives out of state, our time together, our connection is unbelievable. We both know it and have said it. It’s been difficult being apart. He is also a bit more shy in a different manner than myself. We have an upcoming date to see one another again, it just can’t get here fast enough. I continue to pray or us on this relationship, as I personally have never felt this way on anyone, any man. Not even my ex husband. The love is so deep I can’t even explain.
Thank you for listening
My melt moment. I was playing Rummikub with a guy I was seeing. The game consists of putting numerical tiles on the table that each player can add to or rearrange. When he played his tiles he placed them facing me rather than himself. Something so simple that showed his consideration & thoughtfulness. After years of being the caretaker in a previous relationship I melted then & there.<3
I was in the work environment of the guy I became attracted to, let me explain, it was on a set. Well, I’ve been on many sets as I act, write and direct. Here’s my point, I’ve also worked in business and I’ve seen boss after boss bully their employees if they don’t get what they want or if mistakes are made.
This guy in particular spoke softly, asked questions to his employees knew what he wanted and He never raised his voice, and never screamed out expletives, he just took things under his control.
It was the most amazing thing for me to witness! This guy was kind, in control, and calm, yet made everything happen quickly; All on a demanding set, there’s a confident air in that… and for me, I became instantly attracted to this man because of what happened at that moment.
I was micro attracted when my then boyfriend, now husband, resoled my favorite boots for me without my knowing.
He told me he knew he loved me when we were spending the day at the park and I began to picked up the trash near us.
Matt you are amazing!!! You’ve totally opened my eyes .. all this time I’ve been giving all the wrong characteristics like how good looking a man is , priority over so many more important things which I know are more important like character and integrity.. I’ve been talking to a lovely man for 6 weeks never met as he’s in another state but the smallest gestures he does are so important, like asking how I’m feeling after I was sick the night before or asking my opinion and actually listening and taking my advice or just caring overall and taking interest in things going on in my life. He’s already told me he feels love for me and I haven’t been ready to reciprocate because I don’t want to get hurt again but I know now I need to open my heart to him because he’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. Thanks Matt all because of you !!!!!
This is a little tragic lol. I met up with a guy I’d liked for awhile at a bar with my friend and his friends. He wasn’t paying me much attention, but one of his friends in he group started chatting me up. This guy was also very cute but he said something that I don’t think I’ll ever forget. “You can make any guy crazy about you with the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh.” Turns out this guy was taken, bummer, and the original one I liked gave me the old “I’m not emotionally available” so I don’t talk to either anymore. But that line the friend said opened my eyes into possibly believing that guys see the little things too and it’s not just about T&A.
I was in a long distance relationship with this guy..It was his interview day..I called him and asked how the interview went, he said I’m in front of interviewer I asked permission from her to talk to u..I was in shock .immediately, I said ok ;call u later..that I won’t forget in my lifetime..but we not together now due to some complications..
These micromoments can be misleading. When I met my ex I had no be of these moments when he bought drinks for all my friends he just met. He never valued me or anyone. He bought the drinks as a move to impress me and because he believes he’s the type of guy to buy people drinks. It was an ego move.
A guy I recently dated but am no longer was a very service oriented character. I didn’t know I thought this was so attractive until it did ha.. but he always found a way to serve someone whether it was friends, his family, strangers or me. It meant the world to me. The first time we actually got together I reached out to him to help me and he without any hesitation said he would help me. And he hardly knew me! I loved that aspect of his personality!
When he read me the acceptance letter his son received for a very prestigious opportunity this summer and he got chocked up about it. I ever got a little emotional myself.