Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.
How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…
We were trying to get a cab after our second date, and it was freezing cold. I could tell he was getting a bit frantic the longer it took, because he was worried about me being cold. A cab finally shows up and he leapt forward, but I noticed right ahead of him was a elderly lady going for the same one. I pulled his arm down and teasingly said, “Don’t you dare take that cab from that little old lady!” He was quite sheepish and we got one not too long after. We dated for a bit, but the timing wasn’t quite right for us. When I ran into him a year later, he told me that I was the always “the one that got away” and how he always remembered that night, when I yelled at him about the old woman and the cab!
Kindness. The biggest micro attraction moments are through displays of kindness to those that can’t do anything for them. The other is not just liking but VALUING something special to me but because they have their own story with it.
I was having problems with my toesnails. So, he very carefully cut them and at the same time was completely comical. It was very endearing.
Two new neighbors moved in—one taller, blond, with a great smile and easy conversation, the other dark haired and quiet. Honestly, I didn’t notice him as he was not as engaging. Later that night, while I was hanging out in their apartment, the engaging one could only giggle with another friend about being able to see through my shirt, when I leaned forward. The “quieter” one sat reading the instructions for the desk he was assembling and chatting away on deeper subjects than just idle conversation. He had habitually sought intelligence and wasn’t too proud to ask for directions. I was totally blinded by his science. ;)
On our first date, the restaurant had a two hour wait so he suggested we walk around the nearest store. I was game. We found nerf guns on sale so he bought two. We then, ran around the parking lot shooting each other. It seems that this was his moment to be truly smitten. We left the two guns outside the restaurant for a kid before going in to eat.
We’ve been married for 16 years. We still tease each other incessantly and he will graduate from med. school in three months.
When I was going through a stressful period in my life where I tried so hard to not show it and act as if there was nothing wrong. What attracted me to him was that going out with him for the very first time he picked up on that right away. I tried to deny it but he saw right through it. He stayed by me through my appointments and therapy sessions. He didn’t have to but he choose to.
The guy I was dating two months ago, met me because he was interested in knowing more about online content development. I thought it’d be a meeting, but he insisted on calling me up and talking before we went for a date, something you said is a basic dating etiquette. But what made me feel special was our second date, when he took 2 hours out of his schedule, in spite of having multiple meetings that day. Not just that, he took care of my comfort. He threw away his cigarette when he saw I was uncomfortable and because I was sad he’d leave in an hour, he made me laugh by recounting his funny experience with some French people. He actually told me and later texted me too – “I came because I wanted to. It was you who made me want.” Tell me, why I shouldn’t berate myself for screwing the whole thing up?
I am a Christian, so this was impprtenat to me: we were sitting outside our public library talking and he started telling me all these verses in the Bible that explained what true love, or godly love was. I knew in that moment I wanted him to be my husband because I admired the time and dedication he had taken to study the subject so that he could love me well. It was a micro moment of admiration, of knowing he would do what he had to investigate, to educate himself, to learn for our well being.
“I knew what kind of woman you are, by how you hugged me”, he told me, several years later.
We never got together (for other life’s complicated reasons), but we still say hello from time to time. I never forget that comment of his, which endeared me to him to this day, showing me that yes, men –some men– really DO notice the subtle differences.
The way he took my hand and guided me so protectively as we walked through sidewalk cafes and crowds of people during our second date. It was a heady feeling of attraction and comfort at the same time. We’re getting married this summer.
My experience is kinda different since I’m not seeing this guy at all. In fact, I keep trying to reprogram my heart to not like him at all since he’s into younger women. He’s my crush, my choir crush actually. We’ve both survived betrayal after a long marriage. He’s 9 years younger than me, but looks older. I know I look younger. I also know he likes me since he’s flirted a few times & I catch him watching me. But here’s the thing he did on one of our overnight choir retreats. He started talking about the things he’s passionate about- Broadway, soccer and a summer trip he’s taking youth on within his company (which is his dream job). I found him irresistible on so many levels, including traits he has that would make bonding easier with my teenage sons. Help me Lord.
He has done many little things that have made me feel like he has integrity, he is respectful of my time with my kids, he wants to take care of me (like putting my shoes on for me or carrying my coat), he gets my sense of humor…which can be very umm immature sometimes. He remembers things that I’ve said so I feel heard. He was nervous to meet my little girl so I know it was important to him. He will send me a quick text in the middle of day saying just thinking of you. Wow there’s a lot of little things but they are everything to me. Feeling very grateful right about now!
The guy I loved started to write a story about us.He used to write me every single evening,until one of us felt asleep.Through that story I got to know him at very deep level.I loved both what I discovered and the fact that he was writing that story for me.
He took me to see an art exposition that resembles the Sistine Chapel. I was nervous all the way there because it was a surprise, and I didn’t know where we were going. I knew he could care less about art, and would rather be at a baseball game, but he researched and found this event in our city without me asking. We stayed for two hours and he walked around with me without as I read every inscription and we listened to the audio tour for every picture. Tears rolled down my eyes because he finally did something for me that had nothing to do with him.
1) Micro attraction that drew me to someone:
An ex that I lived with went to bed later than me; but when I was going to bed, he would drop whatever he was doing, rush to fill up a glass of water for me and set it on my side of the nightstand, then tuck me in. He’d be so quiet you could hear a pin drop for the rest of the evening because he knew I was a light sleeper. The subtle, sensitive ways he took care of me and knew how to make me comfortable made him unforgettable.
2) Micro attraction that drew someone to me:
A guy I was dating told me that during times of tension and hurt in our relationship, he was struck by the small ways I led with kindness and love no matter if anger or grudges were easier. He said it brought his guard down to be vulnerable with me and move past it, and it skyrocketed our connection.
Hi Matthew.. could you show todays video also to men and ask them too to fill in the form?
Would be amazingly interesting to read men`s comments too.
Thanks.
I met a guy online and our messages were pretty scant, so I wasn’t expecting our first date to go very well. About half way into the date at an outdoor art show, I realized that he had very thoughtfully planned a walking tour of the event with points a long the way that tied into everything we had chatted about.
As we were walking along streets, he would always position himself to the outside and when we came to crossings, hold me back while he made sure it was safe and then usher me across by putting his hand on the small of my back. His constant consideration for my safety definitely melted my heart.
On the same date, we were talking about trips we wanted to take. I was telling him about a road trip I wanted to do to go see some natural beauty, which turned out to be something he had already done. Part way through the conversation, he said, “I don’t want to disappoint you or deter you, but the drive is pretty boring. There’s not a lot to see.” I was really impressed that he was willing to share a counter point of view, rather than just agree for the sake of harmony.
I had the fortune to meet someone that would plan out time with me, like he was the author of our story
What he was wearing, how he stood, what we did, etc. my mind took note of it all, he was gorgeous in every way to me
So many micro attractions during our long story
The micro attraction I remember most, one morning he awoke late for work, looked at me & invited me to breakfast out
This was important as work always came first for him, My work schedule is flexible, but his isn’t
He may have chosen me first before, but that was the first time I knew it
Thanks for reading
It was just yesterday that I wrote a message to my 1st love telling him how he was and has been such a influence in making me become who I am today….
I also told him things that I felt he has always placed aside and has never given himself enough credit as he’s just always been alright with being a good friend but he’s so much more. We were babies when we were 1st loves but I have always known that he’s the one for me and it’s taken all of the broken roads to get me here. Maybe he’ll figure it out too. I pray for this for sure life’s a gift and I would like to live in his present time….
Excellent video, I’m a fan
A guy I knew in college and was secretly (probably not so secretly) in love with had his bike stolen. Rather than moaning about it he said “that person must have needed it more than I did.” That, among many other qualities, made me so attracted to him. To this day, he is a person I compare others to when dating.
He drove four hours round trip to see me, which ended up being 6 after a semi crash. Then he went to a concert of one of my favorite singers and didn’t mind in the least that he was the only strait guy there.