Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.
How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…
Love this video! Thank you.
I have been told twice about a time when I gave a man that micro-attraction moment:
Once was when I quoted a joke from a movie and he thought it was a funny and hilarious joke; the other moment was in 1996 when I gave my analysis of why the Denver Broncos had not won the super bowl yet.
This happened to me over Xmas. My new boyfriend was away with his family for the week over Xmas. Then he changed his plans so he could spend one night with me in between then he got the train back to his family. Made me feel very special and cared about.
His moment from me was when my hobbie had gone up a level and I had to do something way out of my comfort zone. He said he loved that I wasn’t put off by doing hard work or trying something new.
We are only six months and it’s going well x
i was crushing in one of my managers. On his last day at our company, he asked me if I would come in and give him a hug and say goodbye. I expected him to give me a quick hug in a remote part of the store when no one was around. When I got there he was in the break room with our store director and all the other managers. I walked in all nervous and he stood up and gave me the biggest, tightest hug. I even felt my feet leave the floor since he is super tall. That was the moment that my heart skipped a hundred beats.
A manI I met over a week long course invited me to lunch a couple of weeks afterwards. It was the first time I had gone out with a man since my husband died. He was just walking across the busy carpark as I arrived, and a sudden surge of nerves made me scrap the side of the car in the next space to mine. He turned, I wound my window down and asked, “Have I done much damage?” He replied, “Just a bit. The good news is that it’s my car.” He was so generous and kind about it, “Pah, it’s just a car!” Over the months we have spent a lot of time together and plan more, many such acts of kindness and generosity have made me more and more drawn to this man. Unfortunately, he just sees me as a friend.
Even though I was going to drive my date to his car since we parked in different parking lots, he still opened my car door open for me.
I went on an ice-skating date with this charming man despite the fact that I could barely skate. As he was good, I told him to go and enjoy himself whilst I was holding on and taking ‘baby steps’. He did a couple of rounds and came back for me. He spent the rest of the 45mn we had skating with me holding my hand sacrificing his enjoyment. I thought ‘wow! I really like this guy’…
When I got in his car and he asked me if I was cold, and immediately adjusted the heat
The man I am dating, I have had been dating only a few months and he came with me to a friends house for game night with other couples. The strangest thing, in my animated, comfortable, playful behavior during the games he said he fell in love with who I was that night. That this was a moment for him and he couldn’t quite put into words the attraction he felt and why but he mentioned it for weeks after.
I was seeing this guy who lived a 2 hour flight away. We met while I was in his town on business the last night I was there and had an instant, overwhelming connection. We left the night on a high with promises to see each other again. I was apprehensive whether there was actually going to be any follow through after this because of the distance. I was scheduled to return to his town about 2 months later, so I texted him thinking we would grab dinner while I was there. He responded immediately telling me to come a day early and he would pick me up at the airport and I would stay at his house until I had to work the following day. The clarity he provided in showing initiative on planning and not hiding his feelings was so refreshing, I was instantly attracted to him even more.
The first night I realized I was attracted to the guy I’m currently interested in, he had invited me to his house with a group from church to work on a common interest.
I ended up being the last to leave, and as we chatted on his porch, he told me he was going to Texas the next weekend to help with hurricane cleanup efforts. That sealed the deal for me!
He’s the kind of man who constantly serves others, and I can’t help but to be smitten by that depth of character and goodness!
We were walking my two dogs, one of which was pulling me all over the place. I was getting flustered and embarrassed. Rather than watch me struggle, he offered to hold her leash. He managed the wild one with ease, which helped me come back to the present moment. He didn’t fuss over how bad she was behaving, he just wanted to learn more about me and my life. Such a small, sweet gesture.
I have had two moments, recently, that come to mind. The first was at work. We had worked late, mostly everyone had left. I had to take things to our main office and I was fully prepared to make the walk alone, in the dark. He just stayed and walked with me- no questions asked. It because a regular occurrence. After leaving the office, he would ensure I made it safely to my car.
The other time (same guy) I had gone to his house to pick up a bowl left over from a work get together. We chatted for a bit and I left to go home. This had taken place in November. We were recently talking (January) he commented on what I was wearing that night I came to pick up the bowl. He went as far as to compliment me with my glasses. I could barely recall what I had on that night and if I had my glasses on. I was blown away that he remembered…. I may have melted at that point.
I was seeing a guy, he invited me to his house for the first time to cook dinner for me. When I came over and went into the kitchen I saw he had taken a fake, rubber lobster and made it look like it was looking into the pots on the stove. It was funny and adorable and it made me feel like this guy could be my “lobster” (soulmate)
Attended a Christmas party at an acquaintances. During the party he turned to me and said it’s how I treat my friends. Thought it kind and considerate. It my a powerful impression upon me.
A couple of moments of micro-attraction with a previous boyfriend:
1) I was at his house for the weekend but had to leave for a few hours on Saturday for a meeting nearby, and a friend going to the same meeting picked me up and dropped me back at his place afterwards. When I returned, I discovered that he had washed my car as a surprise.
2) It was Father’s Day weekend and I’d told him that I needed to go see my Dad (in assisted living) on Sunday and take him out to dinner, and my boyfriend asked if he could not only come along, but drive his more accessible truck (easier for my Dad to get in and out of than my little Corolla. We’d been dating for a few months and the bf had already told me he loved me, but I hadn’t yet been ready to say it, but I think this was the day that I truly fell in love with him.
A guy I dated would bring me coffee in bed❤️
Loved that!
I became attracted to this guy because he started to make me feel like he is interested in me, he makes random calls just to ask how I’m doing, he helps me with my problems like he really wants to be a part of my life. But unfortunately, he changed.
Hi Matthew,
For me the one microattraction moment was a hug. The man I am currently seeing is casual but not so casual. We talk everyday via an ongoing text conversation and he regularly calls as well. We have been intimate, we do supper dates, movie dates, we hang out with his friends together but I have been pacing myself and enjoying the day to day without getting attached. The other night he came to my house which is an hour away from his. We went to the movie, he came in after and we were making smalltalk, playing with my cat and he asked me to sit closer to him. Instead, I came up to him and sat on his lap facing him and hugged him. I put my head on his shoulder and he held me in such an enveloping embrace I was flooded with feelings. I could feel him as I have never felt him before. We felt really connected. He said to me ‘sometimes that’s all a person really needs.’ I knew in that moment he needed that as much as I did. I felt open and receptive and soo good! Far more intimate than sex feels to be honest. In that moment I really felt I could like this man a lot more.
My micro attraction moment occurred when a guy I had been dating just a few weeks took me to an outdoor concert. People were leaving their empty beer cans on the ground rather then finding a trash can. He noticed 2 children gathering the beer cans and putting them into a big pile. He was so moved by their actions that he walked over to them, thanked them, shook their hands and gave them each $10.
My heart exploded with emotion…
Matt I’m always blown away by what you share it is so true and useful. In this dating world you have a to worry so much about whether the other person finds you attractive enough, smart enough, etc.etc. but the little things, simplest acts, gestures mean the most. I’m still looking. I’m so glad I discovered you about 3 months ago and you have helped me tremendously. Would love to come to your live retreat ..I’m working on it. Thank you with the utmost sincerity for sharing from a very real place….Your Heart..Shows me you were raised very welll! Kind regards Lisa…a big fan