Maybe it’s happened to you before: you knew you kind of liked a guy, but then he did one special move that made your heart do a triple back flip – now you are crazy about him.
How does this happen??
It’s not about fancy tricks, it’s about understanding this secret of deep, lasting attraction…
I love this concept. It is true. Character & integrity are so very important! Being a true gentleman & being genuine are very fine qualities! Being honest & sincere go a long way in communicating with someone!
Doing random acts of kindness is always a winner. Being there for each other through ups & downs show you really care about that person!
Was at a pizzeria with my date and he served my salad in my plate, I felt important enough to be taken of. Wired to have had that feeling with that small gesture, but I always do the giving, serving as an example. It was a nice moment that made the feeling linger.
With my ex husband I was hanging out with him one day and he was in charge of caring for his younger baby sibling. It was a moment where I saw a side of him that was nurturing, patient, and compassionate towards this tiny human that trusted him to take care of her.
With another long time relationship he had a style all his own and hated the mall. One night he knew I had errands and shopping to do. He told me I’ll meet you at the mall and when he arrived his had toned down his style to something he was comfortable with but that said hey I get it. Mainly he wore a lot of ball caps and it was hard to kiss him without him removing it all he time, so he showed up without one which was simple and sweet :)
We were talking in a group and someone mentioned a company and he told us all the rating scale his company uses for investing based on how ethical, sustainable etc the company is.
His care for the environment etc was incredibly attractive
I had just gotten dumped by my boyfriend of one year. The last thing I wanted was another relationship. My husband saw me at our school cafeteria and decided to sit with me. He showed me his Discman (the latest and greatest thing then) and chose some songs that he thought I might enjoy. I thought “this guy doesn’t even know me but he wants to make me happy”. We have been married for 24 years.
I was with a group of new and old friends at a lobsterfest we all got a take out meal and ate it standing there when i finished-eating i was looking around for somewhere to put the foodcontainer and suddenly this guy came up behind me took it from my hand and placed in a garbage container i had t seen
I immediately thought wow and looked at him differently after that he had seen me struggling and helped
A few weeks later i met him again this time we ended up sleeping together after a long party it was great after that i found out he was engaged with a chikd
since then we have met just a couple of times recently a year later our eyes meet but icant respect him the same way You see i thought he was agentleman
I was meeting my date in town, I jumped out the cab and stood outside the bar we arranged to meet at …he wasn’t there!! So I rang him and he said “I’m over the road, see you in 2 secs” I spotted him over the road …he seen me, waved and headed towards me!! “I’m sorry to keep you waiting I was buying that homeless man a take away” There on a shop door step was a homeless man tucking into a meal …was that second I totally fell for him!!
A guy at work did not only say hi to the cleaning ladies but was asking them how their day was. That was the moment i became interested in him.
Guy I was dating,
Wanted to take me bike riding for my birthday and I hadn’t used my bike for a while. I stuffed my bike on the back seat. We both went to target and he bought a pump for the bikes. When we came back to the house I went upstairs to his room to change into my workout gear. When I came back down he was gone and my bike was gone. I asked his roommate confused about where he was. His roommmate said
“He went out to ride your bike around and make sure it’s good for you”
My heart skipped a beat.
All Relationships are unique Attraction is a fine science prohect. I’ve always been single.Love Men Dearly, passionately when the smell is right. Tolerance Levels 2018
So true, so true. What attracted me to the guy I am dating was when he said: “I would love to decorate a Christmas tree with you.”
When my boyfriend and I were on the cusp of dating (we had “hung out”) but not officially been on a date yet. There was a snow storm and we were both home from work. We talked on the phone and I was excited about all the snow. We were talking about going for a walk in it together. Then he asked me “how’s your car”. I had t even thought about having to get my car out from under the snow. When he came over for us to go for a walk he spontaneously got a shovel from my apartment complex and dug my car out. I felt such intense feelings for him in that moment, my feelings for him were solidified and brought completely to the surface.
Hi Matt,
Great video and very true concept. I have so many of these micro-attraction moments now and it’s mainly because of you. I remember reading your book (GTG) where you talked about letting a guy give you his coat whether you were cold or not. I started letting guys give me their coats (lool)
Anyways, I digress!
So one of first and most impactful times was when I was walking to the church car park with the guy I liked after service and he had come with his family (sister and her children) and couldn’t walk me to my car, which was a distance away.
He stood with me for a while until he spotted a friend of his with an empty car. He asked his friend to please drive me to my car and make sure I got there safe! I was so taken aback by this that I kinda fell deeper for him at the moment.
Now he usually walks me to my car if I drive to where we meet and always make sure I’m never alone if he is not able to do so. Needless to say, I feel really special every time he does this.
Thanks for the great advice.
A friend visited my apartment for the first time and we had ice cream over our discussions when finished I was washing up and he came over started rinsing and proceeded to dry and then wipe the sink! Those actions meant a lot!
As always he isn’t off the mark, but in this video I would caution him against using words like “game” when that is a big part of any legit objection to his work. And also because the moments he refers to should not be manipulated in a “game” of attraction, they are the concrete stones that will go toward a solid relational foundation.
Absolutely agree.
I had major surgery & my bf took a week off from work to stay home and take care of me. Including made me chicken soup. He was so attentive.
I think what I like is when someone actually remembers something I said on some other day, like about one of my pet peeves or something I really like. I like it because it makes me feel like they are paying attention. I also like it when they show vulnerability like opening up about something or showing gentleness in a situation.
There was a moment when he came into the bedroom as I had just fallen asleep. He kissed me on the forehead and went back to his schoolwork. I woke up briefly, at the perfect time.
There was another time when he shared his favorite dessert with me. He never shared it with anyone before.
Thank you, Matt, for this truly inspiring video – it immediately made me sit down and reflect upon the things that really attract me to “my guy”…
I live in Germany and have been in a long-distance (moreover, interracial) relationship for the past ten months with a man in Columbia/SC – we see each other every three months and it is our longer-term goal to live together. No need to say that such a long-distance relationship is, without doubt, a challenge by itself, and there are many obstacles to overcome.
However, there are numerous things that make us feel that we’re made for each other (and these have little or nothing to do with outward appearance and/or material riches!) – it’s the values and interests we share, his unquestionable consistency (he calls me every single day!), his thoughtfulness, our care and understanding for each other and our ability to forgive, and, and and…
But what really, really draws me close to him again and again are those precious moments when he (being a very strong and self-confident man) entirely opens up and lets me feel his emotional depth. For example, his reaction to a little poem that I wrote for him and read to him on the phone – the way he revealed his emotions in that situation really touched my heart and made me feel that there’s a very deep connection between us…
PS: I am 56 years old and I know how hard it is to find a man (particularly in that age group) who is willing and able to speak his heart…!
This is so true! I had been dating a man for a couple months when, one evening, he showed up with a box of Brookstone nap socks – the warm fuzzy ones. At the time I was traveling A LOT for work and during one of our ‘what’s up with you’ conversations, I had mentioned that I don’t trust hotel carpets and I hate being barefoot when I travel. Those socks showed me that not only did he listen to my stories but he wanted to add to my comfort even when we were thousands of miles apart. That was 4 years ago and every so often I remind him “You had me at socks!!”