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4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life

Leave a comment telling me about a time you got rejected. What happened? Where were you? What happened? What did you say? How did it go down? Let everyone know about it and let’s start off the year with the freedom of being in a place where rejection is OK.

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429 Replies to “4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life”

  • hi! your great Matthew! well, yes I’ve been rejected jajaj like everybody I guess. Once I was talking to this guy, and he just start pretending that he was going to read a book.. jajaja so yes… didn’t want to talk to me. And once I confessed that I was absolutely in love with a guy, and said it to him, and he just said that he didn’t felt the same. :( And the last time was with this guy, he lives in the states, and i live in Colombia… we had a love story… for almost 9 months… and he never said to me clearly why he didn’t want to try to be together… just disappeared. So that’s it. It’s good to share it, Thanks!

  • Great positive video! Rejection is my friend, but it doesnt seem to get easier. Was seeing a guy then took a break because my studies got intense, then got with him again. As it turned out, he became exclusive in the middle and didnt tell me.. oh great

  • OMG Big High 5 to you Matthew, i just followed one of your rules this morning and i feel so great! HA!

    I met this guy in September he was a driver for a kitchen fitting company, he was totally flirting with me, spoke for an hour, told me he was single he also said he was flirting with me, i took two weeks before i gave him my number, then he rang a few times and the night we was suppose to go on a date, he rang up said he was getting back with his ex, then i forgot about him.

    Then he rang me last night *5th Jan 2013* asking to go on a date, err i don’t think so, i have boundaries, he rang at 10pm, err i do not think so, i told him i have VALUES i do not allow people to ring me after 8 pm, I do not give men 2nd chances who choose me as 2nd best, and i do not want a man who has no car, no job, and all he can talk about is his ex.

    My thoughts have changed since i have watched lots of your videos and read your page, and get your super duper emails!

    Jog on i thought!

    So thank you for your videos, i have ordered your book, so looking forward to reading that in February. And soon as i can i want to go on the Women’s weekend!

    But no one sits me in the corner of the room ever again LOL!

    Soz, i feel so empowered right now all thanks to you Matthew! xx

  • Hi Matt! My most vivid rejection was from middle school, I think I was more daring back then. I was online chatting the night before a school dance and wanted a date. I saw one boy come online who was nice and cute. I messaged him, we began chatting, and after a while I asked him if he wanted to go together. He signed off immediately and I never heard back. That one stung!

  • Hahah rejection is my thing since I’ve been rejected so many times but I just feel okay with it. The worst times ever were when:
    – During summer there was that guy who was into me, and we were talking a lot and spending good time together until the day he got what he wanted and started to ignore me overnight.
    – When there was that other guy in my college. He was SO into me too, like even more. And I was afraid to open up because I was afraid of disappointment, but he was insisting and calling/texting me cute things all the time and we has always looking after me and ask for more time together until the day I gave him a chance to get together. 3 days later, he just left me alone.
    – the WORST EVER: I’ve been loving a guy for a very very long time, my first love. He was always filling me with hopes then letting me crash by dating other girls. The last time we talked (long ago), he kissed me but I had to stop him saying that he can’t just do this like everything’s fine, and he said we were going to get together so we kissed again because I believed him. One week of waiting: he didn’t do anything and acted like we were friends, so I ejected him.

    That’s it :) but even if the wall around my heart are high I still believe in love and I truly hope one day I’ll meet the one.

  • I have been rejected in many phases of a relationship. The worst, I would have to say, was when my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, the one whom I stuck with when he lost his job and got another working 60 hr weeks and every weekend without vacation for a year and who I helped redo his house to sell it… The one who ignored my calls suddenly days before moving day and the one I had to camp out in front of his house until he came out. That one. He came out, looked me in the eye and said “We’re done”. I didn’t know it at that time but it turns out he had been cheating on me for 2 years with a woman 2 hours away and had planned to leave me and move to be with her once the house sold. And those 60 hr weeks/weekends/no vacations? He worked 40 hr weeks and spent days/weekends off and vacations with her for 2 years, with all the evidence on Facebook (I was not on FB at the time). That was 6 months ago and knowing that he was cheating on me made it easier to let him go, as odd as that sounds. Onward and upward. Good bye to 2012!

      1. I have learned so much about myself since that “relationship”. It ALMOST makes it worth the hurt. I now know what I will tolerate and will not tolerate and even though I know I was part of the problem, I am trying not to carry that hurt forward into any new relationships. Now if someone can give me an easy answer for that one, then I am all ears. Thanks for the encouragement. I know I am worth so much more and God is just clearing the path to the one I’m supposed to be with.

  • Hi, I don’t know yet if this i a rejection… But it sure felt so!
    I started dating a guy from my school a while before Christmas. It felt great even though I was hesitating at getting into it, because we are very different. He was very up front with his attraction and good thoughts of me and I really enjoyed being with him.
    Then I text-ed him (I saw him the night before, so maybe that was a mistake… among some others I’ve thought of) and he didn’t answer. I decided I wouldn’t get back to him until he contacted me himself. But he didn’t… For 2-3 weeks I didn’t hear anything and I began the process of getting over the guy. Then at a course this Thursday he was there, came to me and hugged me tightly and wanted to talk. I didn’t reject him but I didn’t fall into his arms either, which I think he felt.
    He still hasn’t contacted me and I’m not going to do it.
    Will be interesting to see what happens…
    All the best and thank you.

  • Happy New Year, Matthew! I’ve had my fair share of rejections in 2012, ha. I’m okay with it overall because more than I ever had before, I am putting myself out there and taking more chances. One rejection that stands out from the past year was when I started seeing one of my brother’s friends. We seemed to share common interests and the attraction was there, but then he just stopped calling/ texting me. One day months later (after I’d wrote him off as not being boyfriend material) he drunk texted me. That confirmed for me that he was not the right guy for me nor was he the person he portrayed himself to be when we went out. The next day he apologized and said he just didn’t think things would work out between us. None of what he said made sense given the way we interacted during our time together. I know he was attracted to me, but looking back I think he didn’t want a relationship (even though we talked about that kind of stuff and he SAID he did..). It took me some time to get over all of this, but it feels good to know I took a chance and would do it again the same way if I had to because of all I learned from the experience.

  • I was dating a guy for a few months whom I met through a dating website. Started off a bit guarded with each other, things progressed and started to really connect, fabulous sex… then comes the “I don’t have time for a relationship because I am SOOOOOO busy with work” txt whilst still listed on dating website. Then 2 weeks later comes the “I met a girl 2 weeks ago and fell in love with her – she is vulnerable, a nympho, had a million guys, tried to take her life twice and all my friends have told me I’m better than that”. Yet he chose her. Made me feel just great about myself ;-)

    1. Kyla… You know what I tell a guy after he mentions his crazy ex… I say, “well, clearly I’m way too sane for you since you like crazy girls. I’m afraid this will never work.” Don’t look at it like she won with all her faults & you lost. It’s more like this: like attracts like. I think there are people perfect for each other & people that are terrible for each other. If he is drawn to that, then shouldn’t you be thrilled he’s not also drawn to you?! Crazy loves crazy & really Kayla, from what you said, he doesn’t sound like your Prince Charming. Trust me, you didn’t miss out on a prize if he goes for a self destructive maniac like that. You’ll find someone one day that values your sanity & personal strength.

    2. On the other hand, Matthew’s “Don’t be afraid of rejection” really makes sense here! Crazy girl may have been less afraid of rejection. I don’t know the situation, but perhaps she made him get off the website before she would sleep with him & didnt care if he ran or not.
      Making guys work & commit for it really works. If he’s still looking for something better on a website, there’s no way I’d sleep with him if I wanted something serious.

  • Hi Matthew!
    I’ve been following your videos for a year now and I just wanted to thank you. Thank you for being this great fantastic guy who makes every girl/woman feel like they are an amazing person.
    With your videos you made realize what I worth and now I am proud of who I am and happy to be this person. I know now that I deserve to be love, and I can accept to be love. I still haven’t met ‘the guy’, but now I know that I deserve someone who will love me for who I am, and with my new self confidence, I hope things will be easier for me.

    I wish you a very good year… and f*ck rejection! May all those bad memories remain buried in the past year. Like says the song from Muse… “It’s a new day, it’s a new dawn, it’s a new life for me…and I’m feeling good!”

    PS: You’re awesome ;)

  • The worst rejection I’ve had was a few months ago when a guy I had been on and off with for about two years decided to finish things by litteraly saying “We can’t be together because I don’t love you”. He then confessed he was in love with his dance partner and he’s currently with her. It really hurt, because as a dancer I move in the same enviroment as they do and we’ve even traveled to the same dance congresses, but his honesty helped me to move on quickly and to be able to cope with it.

    Thank you so much for your advices, they make me a better person one video at a time xoxo

  • My boyfriend was didn’t reject me, he just pulled away from me more and more for a couple of months. Those were probably two of my toughest month of my life and finally broke up with him. After wards, when we had come on good terms again, he told me that he hadn’t had feelings for me in months and had just been too afraid to hurt my feelings and too much of a coward to want to reject me, he just wanted to see if he could fall in love again (by avoiding me that is). I would have loved to just be rejected. Embrace that the guy is being honest with you <3

  • Hi everyone!? Happy New year! I loved this video Matt rejection is my biggest fear and what a nice idea that we all share our stories, as reading all these other posts made me not feel quite so alone on this! All of my friends are married with children and settled down whilst I was working as cabin crew and lived abroad! Now I am almost 32 and I would love to meet the right guy but past rejection has made me fearful, I don’t handle break ups well, it’s so ironic as I am so sorted in every other area of my life! I had my worst rejection when I moved back to the UK to be with my _ex who I had been long distance with and got home to a big parcel which I assumed was a gift but in fact was a letter ending things with me. It was heart breaking especially as I had left my career and friends! Four years on it still baffles me how he could be so spineless and I still fear ever feeling that low again. Since then I have dated ten men who all have gone great at first but nearly every one had ended in them saying they aren’t in the right place for anything serious or can’t give me the time I deserve? I know it must be me but I have no idea how to break this vicious circle!! Ally xx

  • I met this guy on a dating site. After a few email and phone conversations we decided to meet up. The meeting went well, according to me. We ate, laughed, and overall had a good time. At the end, he walked me to my car. We said goodbye and gave me a hug. He said that we should do this again. I agreed. Two weeks pass and no phone call. I decide to text him about a movie that’s on cable that he recomend me watching. He seemed thrilled that I was going to watch it. He told me to text him once it was over and let him know how I liked it. I did. We exchanged a couple more texts and said that we need to meet up. I agreed and to this day, haven’t heard from him.

  • by far the most unexpected – and the lamest – rejection yet : things went very well straight off with a guy I had been seeing. the fireworks soon fizzled when he said, ‘I’m not seeing other girls right now … but I’m not opposed to it.’ when we sat down to talk things through he added, ‘well, what I really want is to keep sleeping with you … and also date other people.’ alright. now I see it not so much as a rejection but a whole-hearted declaration of douchebaggery.

    1. Wow! Well Stated! Although it could be said he just knew what he wanted & wasn’t afraid to be rejected. Sad thing is, if he asks 10 girls, one will say yes. At least he let you know his true colors upfront. A lot of guys would have hidden it a long time. He did you a favor by making it so blatantly obvious you should move on.

      1. thanks, Jen & Lori ! you’re right – his honest answer to my point-blank question saved me a lot of time and worse heartache later. ok, I give the player credit for that (but I will just keep it to myself).

        and major props to Matthew for such excellent advice all around and for reminding us time and again that searching for The One should above all be FUN ! I hope to get back to you with a success story one day soon.


  • Ok, the first time I felt in love with someone I knew that it was going to end very badly for me because he was in love with an other girl. But I was brave, I took I big breath and said all that I was feeling to him because it was something I just had to do. Of course I get rejected but in a nice way. Then we became very good friends. It´s a pitty that now we are a bit distanced and I can not longer say we are friends. But at that time it was great to know that I was strong enough to overcome such a sorrow and mature enough to have a friendship with him. The best thing was to discover that I felt true love because I only wanted that he were happy and not to possess him.

      1. Thanks to you for showing that rejection is not a bad thing that only happens to miserable people. It is something that very few people talks about in that viewpoint.

        P.S: Sorry for my English, I´m spanish…

  • Rejection, I guess is nothing new for me anymore. My last rejection was from a guy I really really liked – we are great friends, we tell each other lots of things & we did a lot of things together because we kind of liked the same things. I thought that maybe he might like me too, at least a little bit. I was extra nice to him, and I can’t believe he couldn’t read the signs, even when I dropped little hints. Shy hints maybe.
    Then one day I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I told him the best way I could, in what I’m most comfortable & talented in – writing.
    He just said wow. And said the next few words dreaded by any women – “you’re a really awesome lady, but I’m not looking for a relationship. Not even thinking about it”
    I was floored to think that he even thought that far ahead, so I said I wasn’t looking for one either, but it was a load off my chest.
    We’re still great friends since then. But I’m keeping a bigger distance & setting my sights on someone else who might be crazy enough about me to go the extra mile.

  • I have been dating a guy for 4 months. When we started we used to hang on every week but then we started to get separated because I went on a travel about a month and we didn’t speak in that time because we had trouble. When I came back from my trip we started talking again and I asked him to have dinner with me so we could see each other. He kind of ignored my invitation but one month later he asked me if I wanted to “go for an ice cream” with him, I accepted and lets see what happens!

  • I was 16 and naive. I had a massive crush on the most popular guy in school, who happened to be one of my close friends. One day we were taking a evening stroll through the park (we did that alot) and I just blurted out that I liked him (very poor delivery). He just blankly stared at me and said he didn’t feel the same, but that he was flattered. I was crushed.

    But this year shall be different. Rejection can hurt. But it is apart of life as Matthew says and it has a desirable side-effect. The satisfaction of knowing you eliminated future regret.

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