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4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life

Leave a comment telling me about a time you got rejected. What happened? Where were you? What happened? What did you say? How did it go down? Let everyone know about it and let’s start off the year with the freedom of being in a place where rejection is OK.

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"9 Texts No Man Can Resist"

429 Replies to “4 Big Ideas That Will Change Your Love Life”

  • This is embarrassing to admit but here goes. I had this list of what I believed was the man I was attracted to. Then I met someone who had some core aspects of his profile that usually made me ignore similar men. Divorced parent and not tall. Shallow but true. Anyway, when I first saw him, for some reason, I threw my list out the window. Why? He was smart, streetwise, committed to his kid, and there was that “je ne sais quoi”. Our date was unplanned and I only went because I figured I’d get it over with. Looking back, I would have had a much better attitude because being lazy cost me. We had a nice conversation, and I was comfortable around him, but maybe he picked up on my lazy. Four days later I got a text in the early morning that read: “Sorry I never got back to you. Been busy. Listen, I have been seeing someone else and it is getting serious so I am going to pursue that. I hope we can be friends” My response: “I am very happy to hear you have found someone you really like and your search is over. That’s great. Sorry, I don’t do the friendship thing. Contact me again if it doesn’t work out but I guarantee I won’t be single by then.” I was being witty but I had no intention after that to re-engage but felt like it was best to sound like a good sport about it. Nevertheless, it stung, but I found Get the Guy shortly after that incident which was really helpful staying positive and getting back out there to meet new people.

  • Happy new year Matt!
    The last time i got rejected was in september last year, on my birthday. I was going out for a month with this guy. I really liked him and i thought he did too…buuut hahaha apparantly not. I felt he was kinda cold with me on that day so i asked him what’s wrong. He said to me- “i am not in love with you. This is not love. I like you for the person you are.” I was in shock. And i am still not really over it. It blew me away bacause i felt so used…Anyway i think this is one of the best lessons i got to have in my love life.

  • I got rejected about 3 weeks ago. Tried to ask out a guy I’ve liked for a while (I thought it was mutual). So during class I asked him if he could wait for a bit after class. After the class ended, I hinted to him that I wanted to go outside, he followed me with a very confused look on his face, but unfortunately, so did his friend.

    When we finally got outside, his friend kept talking to him and I was nervously waiting around for his friend to leave. After what seemed like an eternity, his friend left. Frustrated and relieved, I yelled out “Privacy! Finally!”. He was a bit scared at that point and he was smiling nervously. The conversation went like this:

    Me:”So, I’ve noticed you staring.”
    Him:”Have I been staring?”
    (Now I began to panic, because I probably misread his signals)
    Me:”Yes, a lot. So, I was wondering… Would you like to have coffee sometime? Drink it, you know, not spill it all over me.”
    (We had been to a restaurant with a group of friends the other week and he accidentally spilled coffee on me. Note: him and me are only acquaintances, not friends)
    Him:”Hmm, yeah. This isn’t going to work”
    Me:(Very nervously)”Oh ok. Well, could you at least stop staring then? Because now it’s just creepy.”
    Him:”Haha, ok”
    Me:(walking away)”Thanks for not making a big deal out of it”

    Then I jumped on my bike and went home. It was extremely awkward, but now I know and I don’t have to wonder.

  • Firstly – I love your enthusiasm – it’s infectious – thankyou.

    I was rejected very recently by someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I thought of him as my best friend, my soul mate, my lover, my everything. He was a father figure to the boys and we had the most amazing, wonderful family life for three years. He introduced me to the outdoor life (surfing, sailing, skiing) I had always craved and he gave me the confidence to step way beyond my comfort zone (i even managed my first red run with him behind me). For this and the love he showed the boys, I will always be grateful.

    He began to pull away around September time and just before Christmas, by phone, he told me that he loved and adored the children (3 boys) as his own but didn’t love me enough to spend the rest of his life with me. He felt there was someone who would be better for him.

    I was angry, really angry but, as always, ended up apologising and saying I understood! I didn’t beg, I didn’t plead, I just accepted in the end, more worried about his tears and emotion than mine!

    Outwardly I am strong and always have a positive word for people, but I am quite a gentle natured girl and inside this has floored me and rocked me to my core. I realise now, the mistakes I’ve made (not setting boundaries and not giving myself enough value – i always put him and everyone else first) but this is without a doubt the biggest, hardest rejection I’ve ever had.

    Ive cried more tears than i thought possible but I know it will get better and I will be me again – just a better, stronger version! Everything happens for a reason – just need to figure out the reason :)

  • Hi Matthew! Well I met a guy at a party we hit it off and ended up going home together ( I don’t do this usually honest! But he seemed lovely and was fun and sweet) we had a good time, in the morning chatted and lay with one another but I needed him to leave cos I had guests anyway he took my number and for the next week we were texting and had planned to go to dinner. He cancelled 2 hours before because his hockey team needed him, he promised to make it up to me but never texted me again and deleted me on Facebook. Oh yeah he also told our mutual friends and I found out he told me he had broken u with his girlfriend a month ago, no it was the week we met. I know you’ll probably think rebound player and I gave away the cookie :p but it was his sweetness and guenuine seeming nature that made me give him the chance… Guess I was wrong I’ve certainly learnt my lesson, but thanks for the videos it gives me hope you always make me smile :)

  • I have breast cancer. He knew it from day one and accepted it and we were able to date with passion and mutual respect, even though he watched his dad die of cancer and had lost a lover suddenly to an accident. The loss was still very painful to him. On our second date he had given me a surprise gift, a great supplement called Green Vibrance and he had done research on a really cool website that he passed on to me. He called daily, often more than that. We saw each other every weekend for most of 7 weeks.Two days before Christmas, he took me to his favorite place for lunch and, after a warm, fun, flirty date (no signs of anything wrong), he asked me how I felt about becoming friends. He said he didn’t think he could handle the cancer as a BF. He even addressed the topic of post mastectomy sex. (REALLY?!) I accepted his decision then told him I didn’t know for sure whether I could be platonic. I asked a couple of questions like “Are you seeing someone else?” (emphatic “no”) and “Would you still be dating me if I didn’t have cancer?” (emphatic “yes”) He and I tried the friendship for about a week, during which time he always kissed me with the passion he had before, he called daily and even came to my family’s holiday celebration. After Christmas I called him and asked several careful, gentle questions to try to figure out what I wanted to do next, making it a point to keep the call short and as neutral as possible. I also made a point to honor myself, so I asked him what difference would it have made if he had held off “the talk” until AFTER the holidays? No answer. Why? Because he had only been thinking of himself. He has been single all of his life and is just stuck in that mind set. He was not TRYING to disrespect or hurt me, although he DID. I told him what I was looking for in a relationship (implying that I am committed to that and nothing less). He told me he wanted to be there for me but that he just didn’t want to hurt someone or be hurt…said something about finding himself, mixed feelings, staying in relationships too long… I had my answer, so I softly said “I’m strong, I can handle the cancer myself.I don’t need another friend. Goodbye.” No angry words or tone, just fact finding, then a self-honoring decision. I sorted through my feelings for a few more days (in my journal), then made the decision to close this door emotionally and move on. It’s OKAY that we were not a fit and it is FANTASTIC that I discovered that this man could fade away when the going got tough EARLY on instead of 6 months into a relationship. I don’t regret knowing him, because he showed me that I could date with cancer. HE just couldn’t make the entire journey.I miss him, but I will not settle for behavior that harms.

  • I was positively surprised by this video. It gave me a fresh perspective, and I appreciate it! I find it hard to remember any rejections, and I take it as a sign that I haven’t been putting myself out there and taking risks. Something I definitely want to change this year!

  • The worst rejection I ever received was from a guy I had a crush on for 2 years. We lived in different cities and we hooked up once, when I was in his city, but nothing major happened after that. We didn’t get into a relationship. When we met a few months later at a concert I still had a huge crush on him. He was the sort of man I could have imagined more with. But he told me he had a girlfriend. The moment he said that it felt as if the world stopped turning for a second and someone pushed a knife into my heart. Even if this might sound a bit overdramatic, it actually physcially hurt. The only thing I could come up with was “Good for you.”. It took me a long time to get over it, but eventually I realized what I could have done better and that there isn’t just “the one” guy.

  • Hey Matt,

    I met a cool guy in London by chance, we had a great chatting then going for a drink. Things went well, but since then he rarely contacted to me, I didn’t hear from him for a month then only get text after couple weeks later. I was expressing my feelings for him by texts but he didn’t get any emotion and said I’d get too much attached and not healthy for u, really felt frustrated at that moment, still thinking of him all the time even 4 months now. I don’t know how to do? It seems he isn’t interested in me and not want a relationship with me, isn’t it?
    Best x

  • The last time I got rejected was last month, December 2012. I had met this guy online and we went out on 7 dates. We really hit it off and he talked a lot about the future together. He waited until the 7th date to kiss me; I mean we really took it slow; we did everything right. Then I got into a car accident, had to cancel 2 dates we had lined up. He offered to come see me the following day, but I said no because I was not feeling well due to the accident but I told him I would see him the following week. I stopped hearing from him over the next few days, and so I wrote him a long email asking him if he had time for me, because I was looking for a soul mate and I expected more from him in terms of communication. (He had not responded to an email I sent him and he hadnt called me back after I returned his call once.) The following week I get an email from him leaving me. He said that he couldn’t believe he was saying this but he could not give me what I wanted, and he was busy with his job and 2 young children. I was devastated and to this day I still don’t understand it. He was very attracted to me, he loved spending time with me. What I said back was that I was very confused and didn’t understand. I wanted to talk about it. At least talk with me over the phone about it. It was the biggest shock and I still don’t understand it.

  • I was seeing some one for 2 years. A year ago I broke up with him because I thought he was seeing someone. Well he has been witn that someone for a year. This summer we got back together for a couple of weeks and then he went back to this girl. So he has dumped me twice. Problem is I am madly in love with him. He still sends me flirty texts and I do too. (bad)I have seen other men this year but no one really great. I am trying but still dream about xboyfriend. Should I contiue to send flirty texts? Always afraid of rejection!

  • I was rejected about 3 months ago by who is now my best friend. He is an exchange student from Europe. When we meet, he was a hot ticket–all the girls were after him. We happened to live close by, so we began to hang out often. Imagine my delight when we finally kissed one night–and imagine my surprise when after only 2 weeks of him being here, our kiss was not his first. We decided to be FWB, but that kiss ended up being our last. Turns out hr didnt like that I had told a lot of my friends about it. I learned my lesson on that one. It hurt me to see him hunt out other girls for a long time, but I know he is here for a short time and just wants to go casual. He’s a great guy, bit of a player, but he still cooks for me and is my closest male friend. I regret nothing.

  • We Had Been Texting For a While. We Became Really Good Friends. I told him I missed him at the Lds Fhe activity that night. Just a summary he told me i was too young for him but we can still be friends and we are really good friends. Which is really hard… So Mine isnt the best but its an example of one that went pretty well.

  • A year and a half ago, my ex (we were together for 3 years, broke up and got back together three times) told me he will not marry me and that he was in love with another woman. I told him that I no longer wanted him to be part of my life and that he should not attempt to contact me anymore because I will not respond. After a month or two, he wrote and sent text and cards and kept this up for a year. Meanwhile, I had the time of my life doing my own things and enjoying life itself!! When one year of non-friendship was up, I realized I have purged him out from my system finally and was no longer in any sort of pain when his name was mentioned. So I decided to be friends again with him. When we started talking again, he told me he’s still in love with me and wants to marry me, blah blah blah. I said “sure, whatever”. And walked away, continuing to have a blast living my life!!!

  • Happy New Year! Congrats on your book and show coming out soon. Well, I finally found a guy I liked and clicked with. He goes to my college and we had class together. Anyway, I just spontaneously wrote down my number and handed it to him. He never called. Come to find out, I remember him saying something about having a girlfriend. Yup, rejected by him having a girlfriend, and me not listening well enough. :) It hurt a little, but I’ve learned from it.

  • I have been watching fast track to mr right videos for a while and last month my best friend gave a bday party at a restaurant..so i decided to be pro active! When i was leaving the party this really cute guy ( gorgeous) was getting to the restaurant, not the party.. he waved at me, smiled and flirted, since I was leaving i gave him my number! During the week he called me, texted, told me i was beautiful, funny and he wanted to go out with me next saturday! Saturday was closer and i texted him to confirm..he never texted back! I took me a fee minutes to realize I had been rejected big time! his loss..hahahahah

  • Happy new year Matthew. :)
    Well there’s one time, I was pretty drunk and I got the guts to tell me crush that I liked him.he is pretty drunk though but all he replied is” I know,I know” and that’s it! That is so strange that I felt so awkward Everytime we met. He didn’t quite rejected me but he is now in love with another girl. So…yep that’s it, I’ve got over it already so that’s cool.
    But there’s another thing that I have in mind that I would like to ask. You mentioned that the value is sth that we can create. But when guys perceive the value we have, do they judge the apperance of the girl first, then go for the inner parts? So does that imply that when u got the look, you got the say?

    1. Hi Bernice,

      Every man is different but men, in general, are going to be more attracted to a high value women than one who isn’t. Your looks might get you the first glance but you have to carry the rest.


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