I don’t usually talk publicly about my weaker moments.
When you work in the self-help industry, everyone expects you to talk about the positive things in life: success, money, happiness, popularity, beauty, love… Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
No-one talks about feeling alone and loneliness enough. Everyone talks about success, money, popularity, beauty, fun…
But what about those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through. We have so much fear of revealing our naked, scared, suffering selves at times that we feel like it’s not valid to talk about our feelings of being alone.
Well, not today.
This may be one of the most personal videos I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most important…
Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that someone is listening.
Please leave a comment on the video and share your thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same as them.
I so needed to hear that I was in what I thought a wonderful relationship only to have my dreams shattered over the phone. I still do not understand why but respect the decision. I feel very lonely and take solace in what you said. Thank you
Thank you Matthew. Beautiful video, thank you for sharing. I went through a horrendous break up 7 years ago with the father of my child. Even though I met men after this experience: some good, some bad and some wonderful, I never got back into a committed relationship because my priority was my son. I often wished to have a partner in my life during the years I raised my son, but I felt our scars of what we both suffered needed to heal first. Even though I have always been blessed with wonderful friends and work colleagues who were always there, the moment I got home and shut my door, the hardship and loneliness was palpable. I had and still do have hobbies, dates with friends, went away on breaks and holidays, regularly attended my local gym, I did my best to get back my life and I have to an extent. My beautiful son is now a young man and has turned into a wonderful person, an aspiring actor, who is now off to create his own life adventures. I now face dealing with the ’empty nest syndrome’ another loneliness dawns on me. Yet, as you said If you make that effort to reach out, be kind and make those connections with people whatever their lifestyles may be, you do make a difference, you do make friends with people you never thought you would, and yes they go through the same things and that goes a long way to making you feel connected, loved and that you are not alone when you physically are. Life is good, and I laugh a lot, but that doesn’t stop the loneliness from time to time, and when I feel like this I make that extra effort to go out and smile and talk to people, it may not feel like it is making a difference, but somewhere along the line my heart is warmed up again and something wonderful will happen and it often does. Keep smiling my friends X
Thank you so much for this video…I was just sitting on my bed thinking how lonely I feel even though I have wonderful friends and family who I love and appriciate very much. I feel like something is missing from my life and perhaps the cause of it is the absence of my ex boyfriend. I planned to have 30 days of no contact period and today is the day I thought I will messege him and schedule a whole plan of getting him back. After watching this video I realised it’s fine to feel what I feel and although I have this massize hole inside me, I’m not the only one who feels it right now and I know there is a lot os people who went through it and found their happiness and love at last. Thank you once again. Sending you Peace & Love
Hi, Matt! I always like watching your videos, but I felt like I could relate to this one the most. Loneliness. Its a scary yet wonderful concept. I do find myself alone more times than I’d like and even if I’ve gotten used to walking alone, it’s nice to have someone by my side sometimes. In fact, the other day I had a mental breakdown because I felt so alone. Yes, I have a loving family, not many friends, but the ones I do have aren’t always into what I’m into and I barely see them. I often find myself having no one to talk to. I have a fear of talking to my family because they’re so judgemental at times. I honestly prefer talking to the perfect stranger most of the times than my own family. Like I was saying, I had a mental breakdown the other night because I started thinking of how people seem to avoid me like I’m some sort of infectious disease. And that sucks. Everyone usually says I’m a sweet girl, but when it comes down to it, no one really wants to hear about your thoughts. They all want to hear about the good stuff and not the bad. Not whats troubling you. Its like, we’re not human. I think those people are full of shit. This is why I hate “small talk.” A lot of people I encounter everyday ask, “How are you” and what drives me crazy is the cookie cutter answers people give. I mean, its like we’re all robots. I see people around me with their significant other or with their friends and I’m jealous. I have no one.
Very poignant piece today Matthew which hit the nail on the head at ironically a very pertinent time for me. I recently came out of something which, even though brief, brought back some very painful memories for me leaving me feeling isolated and disconnected from the world. Quickly trying to snap out of it though for me own sanity and this certainly helped to keep things in perspective. The biggest thing I’ve taken away from it is that we shouldn’t assume anything about anybody else’s lives. As Baz Lurhman said in his famous, ‘everyone should wear sunscreen,’ track when referring to jealousy, ‘The race is long and only with yourself.. Sometimes you’re ahead sometimes you’re behind..don’t congratulate yourself too much but (crucially) don’t berate yourself either…’ Big wake up call for me that I worry too much that I’m always behind in comparison to everyone else. This only fuels isolation and loneliness further. Inspired me to write some more today so thank you once again Matthew.
Matt, you always seem to read my mind and give me just enough to “push through.”
Yesterday, I felt alone, overwhelmed and kind of hopeless. I was overwhelmed by the idea that this may be how “it always is going to be.” It scared me. Dating feels very lonely especially in the early phases. I am trying my hardest to not get attached to someone and depend on them for my happiness. That is extremely challenging. Of course I have been putting in the hard, grueling work needed for me to change that behavior and I am making 1% shifts, slowly. With that being said, it is LONELY. I sometimes wonder where the light is at the end of the tunnel?
I forget that others are probably feeling the same way- I isolate myself, crawl in a ball and listen to melancholy music.
I apologize for ranting, it’s just me being real and vulnerable to share this.
Thank you for sharing this video today, Matt. It is nice to know, I am not alone, we are in this together!”
Xoxo
Jillian
Jill – you are a beautiful person and know that you are not alone. Your fashion, beautiful smile, and caring way does not go unnoticed. You took my breathe away the other day when I met you.
Long Island Guy
Thank you Matthew, that was my thoughts exactly and you said it beautifully….
“I’ve felt lonely in the arms of a partner I’ve loved. I’ve felt lonely at parties made up of my best friends. I’ve felt lonely when I’m alone. I’ve also felt lonely in a warm sea of people who I adore.”
I read an article saying that the more creative you are, the more you are prone to loneliness and I find it to be very true :-)
Well covered, Matthew. Profound and truthful. You make being lonely seem more cool. Kindness to others who are doing it tough is very cool.
I’d rather be alone than with those who get on my nerves.
However, if with someone who is on the same wavelength – kismet! But this is incredibly rare, so rather than feel aggravated, annoyed and/or misunderstood I’m happier to be alone – but not lonely. :)
Dear Matthew
I get what you mean about lonuness. I get extra lonely after going to parties. I often feelingly at the party, talk to lots of random people, then get home and feel lonely because I live alone and there is suddenly nobody there, but also because of s sense of meaninglessness because the interactions were big with people I care about. Over time I have come to observe that it’s at those times that all my chakras are overwhelmed with connections to others, and as they dissipate it feels like a tremendous wrench. I can have panic stacks or just be in tears. It’s easy to want to keep my energy system free of all other people, yet it is connection that I crave. I think deep down we need to be regularly connected to a few people. Being connected to the love only when people gather isn’t good for us.
I like what you said about it being lonely to have ideas or thinking styles that no-one else around you has. I am deeply spiritual and into shamanic work and have studied about this in ways no-one I know has. I feel like I am alone with previous knowledge that I can’t share and I am constantly pressured or told my spirituality is an illness. It’s gone so far that I have been forced into sedation for complaining I was burgled by someone picking the locks, which I was, but with no clear damage to my door authorities labelled me as paranoid. I lost much of my work to the burglar and now cannot even retread my own writings for comfort because they are gone. On this sedation I feel so cut off from all my spirit guides, listless and bored, where before I was connected with them and full of life and power. I used to channel every day and my days were happy. Now I feel a deep loneliness for my connection to the universe and all that I hold dear.
Blessed be for talking. If you want to talk about lonuness at a deeper level, please write back to me x
Sorry for the awful typos in my message. I mean I feel lonely after parties with meaninglessness because of talking to lots of people I don’t care about, although I let myself care so much about what they say at the time that they connect to me.
The other thing is in shamanic terms to be lonely is to be disconnected from your spirit path and from your guides. That is to be ill in our terms. It is precious knowledge I hold about energy fields and reality fields, how they are constructed and how they interact. I wish I could remember what I knew. I lost reams of work on the subject.
Look up the sacred rays and meditate on each one. Emracing each one in your energy field creates a mini breakdown of your issues on that frequency. Then afterwards you can use them. The sacred rays and the connection to your guides are the keys my friend xxx
Thanks for that Matthew….I used to feel like that all the time…When my husband was on the road working for 23 years…Yes, I had my kids, the dog, the school (when I volunteered…so, I had other stay-at-home moms to hang out with during the day)…But, at night I was alone with my thoughts after the kids went to bed. I told my husband I was not alone…but lonely… ;) Then when I was separated from husband…& deciding what I was going to do about my situation…when the kids were in bed…I would sometimes, be sitting on the couch watching TV by myself…crying…& my dog would jump on my lap…& look at me & comfort me…Yep…it was a lonely time! :(
Thank you for sharing…I know how that feels…I am very happy with my life now…It is a joy!…I have found my passions in life. A new chapter for me. Yes, I got rid of the husband. It has been 7 years now. I did the best thing, and made the right decision. My children are adults now…Very successful & that was always the goal. They soar like eagles…& I am too! Thanks again Matthew. You are definitely a wonderful person to have on one’s side.
We are all human..& experience loneliness… :) <3 Hugs! You are the best! ;)
Really enjoyed your video on quite a touching, yet not too uncommon subject. Made me think why I felt so lonely at the beginning of this month. My colleagues were going away for a works weekend, a friend for a short break and my niece for a holiday whilst I was going nowhere. Loneliness is definitely more a feeling, which shows our real desire to interact with others.
Exactly what I needed to hear right now! It has been a week of feeling cery lonely and like i dont belong in this world. Thank you for all you do you are an inspiration!!
Matthew Hussey, what a beautiful man you are inside and out.
This video has warmed my heart, the bit where you speak so tenderly about feeling alone because others don’t think about things the same way you do. That is the main reason I feel alone most days, it’s very lonely. I love my family immensely but it’s tough when I know they don’t share similar thoughts as mine or the way I see life.
I especially enjoyed when you said I love you ha ha, you know what I love you too, how can I not have love for someone so thinks and speaks so eloquently about others you don’t even know personally.
You and also your brother’s empathy has no bounds.
I hope I get to meet you one day via a retreat hopefully i’ll win one day. To say thank you in person for this particular video would be very cool <
All the best,
Collet C. x
Hi Coco. Me too. Tke care too. Gigi
Hi Matt,
Just listened to you. Your openness and honestly about relationships and life in general has helped and is helping thousands of people around the world.
I love listening to you and hearing your advise you my friend are amazing.
I hear you on the lonely end. None of us want or like to be alone.
You are right on the money with all your advise and I’m glad to have found you.
Sincerely,
Roberta xoxo
LOVED THIS!!!!! BEST video in a while, in my opinion, Matt! Please be vulnerable and spontaneous and don’t cut the videos more often! This was just great! I love how true and vulnerable this came out! Plus, I bet Jameson would appreciate the time off for editing less Thank you for this video! Greetings from Brazil!! ❤️
I discovered you few days ago and I’m extremely touched by your work, your thoughts, your feelings and your beautiful soul. I love you, I appreciate you and take care my friend
Hi Matthew!
I really enjoyed this video. I think loneliness is viewed as a form of weakness in my opinion. That is how I see myself, therefore, I just try to brush it off & go about with my day.I have good days & bad days like anyone else. However, I do try to make others around me happy so that no one feels the way I do. Anyways, this to shall pass for me & for you my friend. I love you Matthew & Thank you for all that you do! (((Hugs & respectful kisses)))!
This may be the only time I disagree with Jameson, regardless of how much I appreciate his mysterious presence.
I really appreciate it that you revealed your raw thoughts in such a way. I never felt so understood, and it just reminds me how much respect you inspire me, Matt.
I never realised it before, but sometimes as an introvert it is difficult indeed to put myself out there and take action in dating life. It is conversations like this one which give me more courage and perspective, an encouragement to come out of my shell that slowly have a very positive impact on me. And for this, thank you so much, Matt!
Loneliness is a battle. I was left home alone a lot as a child. As I grew I had many friends but no one knew my struggles I was dealing with at home. After high school friends move or fade out. I was in a relationship with someone out of convenience not love. Finally when I found someone I loved and started a family things were going well and then he just up and left. I was alone again. Just me and the Lord. I know that should be enough and my children certainly kept me busy but I was missing that close intimate relationship. I’m dating guy now whom I have fallen for but we are struggling to hold together after he transferred for work. I cry myself to sleep a lot. I love my kids and God but I feel cursed in love department. I own almost every Matt hussey program and it helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other.
I guess I’ve always known that I’m not ” alone” but when one is experiencing solitude due to an alienation from a person or people you love it is an emotional pain that’s incredibly difficult to get away from. I appreciate your video Mathew because I think people like you ( and me ) who are known for being the ” helpers” and ” givers” of the world may actually suffer more than those who are accustomed to being alone. I genuinely need others in my life to feel purposeful, and with the emotional state that I am in currently I feel I can’t be of help or support to them. I need to take care of myself but I don’t really know how. Thanks for your vulnerability in today’s video, it was nice to see you less scripted and more real…sexy actually too. Take care, Megan