Hey guys,
Check out this video first as it’s an example of what I’m going to be talking about in today’s video:
Now some of you may have found this guy shocking and you’re wondering what this has to do with understanding men in general. Paul is certainly an extreme example of a player, but in order for us to have a greater understanding of the typical guy, we have to look at such examples from the outermost points on the spectrum and find out what is really driving these types of guys.
As I mentioned in the video, Paul is now in a serious, long-term, and committed relationship, and after hearing this I decided to track him down and find out exactly what had happened that made the shift for him to want to be in a relationship.
This interview is going to be included as just one of the many bonuses in my brand new, online programme, and so Thursday is going to be your chance to get your hands on it in full.
Click Here To Change Your Love Life Forever
Great about your online program! I have wanted to attend but can not make any of the events so perfect way to not have to wait. !!!!!! Also have a teenage daughter who listens to you …I want her to learn the HEALTHY way to have relationships early on! She even wants to do something similar for a living you have inspired her so! She is checking into relationship therapy for a school major. yahhh!
wow that was awesome!!!! Thanks Matthew!You put so much effort in helping us women.So exited for thursday!!!Just in case we miss it, we can still watch it the day after right???
Hi Matt, one of my friends forwarded this to me and I had to comment because this is a topic close to my heart. You know I am a fan of your work. This vid is about self-love isnt it..?
I have a friend who sleeps with a lot of women because he is depressed. Also Jeff Leach slept with over 300 women, made a programme about it called ‘confessions of a sex addict’ but if you watch it you can see it how he is just masking pain. (i know you are probably thinking i am over-analysing here lol..) Paul (i’d love to get inside his head there is a lot of pain there I think) maybe he met a woman who reminds him of his mother and decided to avoid operating to fill a sense of self-lack and finally decided to committ and settle down.
People have two primary ways of living: Fear based (thinking we live in scarcity and must compete to gain access to resources and partners) and love-based. It is such an exciting and overcomplicated area.
As opposed to thinking ‘how can I tame the a-hole’ some women must reflect and think ‘why am i attracting so many a-holes into my life’ like ‘what part of me is addicted to feeling rejected and undervalued’.. and ‘how can i learn instead to love myself more’. Some people like Paul (only speculating) may use having sex with loads of different people as a way of self-harming. I just wanted to shout self-love to this discussion. Coming from a place where i dated a lot of divine a-holes (i learned a lot from them) in the past there is contrast now through experience I know the difference between a nice guy and a player! Also, I learned why i would put myself into an experience where i was constantly getting rejected to stop and think: this really hurts, how can I stop myself from rejecting myself.Like i deserve much more than dating an a-hole and trying to fix them, which is demented. YOu can only change yourself, you cannot change other people. This is your message maybe- NEVER SETTLE FOR LESS> love yourselves. Keep it up!!:-) Peace out F xx :))
great video – excited for thursday – hope it will be around 1pmish because i do work from 9-12 and then again from 3-12 sometimes, as a few other people said – i am sort of the dabbler type – i don’t mean to be though – money is tight, i work with my mom and right now i rarely get paid (i just help out now) hopefully it won’t be overly expensive so i can convince my mom to help pay for it lol – i am really excited about it though! hopefully i will make it to London someday for a live event :D where i live right now = no men i am attracted to – but when i move i would like to put your advice into action lol – Thanks again – i enjoy every video
Dear Matt,
I was dumped 5 times. It really sucks to went on this process again and again.
It came to the point I considered commiting suicide as I cant take the pain anymore. So I tried all the possible help I can get. Then yeahhh I came across your channel in youtube. And started following you. And buy your program.
I have no problem in getting the guy as everybody said I am good looking,and gorgeous. But being beautiful cant make a man stay for long term. And all these guys I love dont see themselves with me.
All my self confidence was gone. I feel terrible about myself. But because of you Im starting to build it again.
A big thanks to you and all the staff. You have no idea how you save and change a life of person like me.
Please continue helping women like me.
Rhea
This is amazing, I’m really interested in this stuff..I can’t wait until Thursday ^^
Tong
Getting a woman drunk in order to have sex with her has a name. It’s called rape.
Hi Matthew!
You have two types of readers/followers + me :D
I´m a young women with a conviction that she´s worth nothing but the very best. Therefor I don´t date (maybe you´re wondering why I read your blog and watch your videos, I´ll tell you later), I dress (as I like to call it) in dress that is “fashionably modest” because I want what I wear to reflect who I am on the inside. I´m a firm believer that the less I show of skin, legs and *ss, the more guys will look me in the eyes and see who I truly am, dressing modestly while not looking frumpy, letting my eyes be the focal point of what I wear. I have never been a party person, and I take responsibility for my actions. This said, I don´t think I´m boring, I´m an upbeat, happy go-getter.
After living a life of not taking care of my body the way I ought to have, after being rejected by all the guys I´ve ever approached, I decided that enough is enough, I lost over 55 lbs, I started resetting my mind to “health mode”, started pushing myself over what I used to think where the limits, I also shut out the people in my life who only brought me down and broke me over and over (and over) again.
Why I don´t date?
Because I believe that it´s a waste of my time. To put on a sexy little dress, put much more make-up on than normally to seem “perfect”, to sit down in an unnatural setting and talk, talk about the good things in my life, hiding the bad and the ugly. Analyzing every little word before I say it, and every word that he says, twisting, turning and trying to interpret it to my favor… Then hopefully base a relationship on that foundation? No – I have seen far to many relationships crash because of the nice act they play while dating. When my friends say “well, if you don´t date you won´t know what type of guy you like”, I answer, I observe, I see, and if it´s gonna be all about the guy and his faults, I´m being proud and ignorant because I refuse to realize that I might need to change something! Instead of dating around as if I was looking to see what kind of dress fits me best, maybe the dress doesn´t fit because I´ve neglected myself! I believe it all starts with me, my character, my attitude and my values.
I believe a lasting relationship starts with friendship, true genuine friendship. Where we both respect each other, we know the good, the amazing, the sweet but also the bad, the ugly and the sad stuff. We have developed a patient and forgiving friendship. With that as a foundation I believe a relationship can last.
I´m a bit “old-fashioned” in the way that I do believe it is up to the guy to take the first step, I have taken the first step enough times to know that it usually scares guys off, in my case, they´ve always “hit the ground running”… I´ve also learned that most guys WANT to take the first step, I guess it has something to do with being masculine, or am I wrong?
The reason I love reading your stuff and watching your videos is not because I want to get just any guy, I want to get THE GUY, I want to become such a “high value” woman that it takes for a life-long relationship. Because I want The Guy to see that I don´t flirt with just anyone, that I have self respect and that I try to put others before my self, that the guy who “gets” me, will not have to fret over whether or not some other guy could come and sweep me off my feet, because a relationship that lasts takes two “high value” friends.
The guy who “gets” me, will be my very best friend, and nothing less!
Thank you Matthew for inspiring me to be high value, to respect myself, others, and for giving me an insight as to what goes on in the minds of guys. It has really helped me in understanding more of the jungle that is male/female relationships! Even though I guess I´m a bit weird compared to most women in the way I do things…
Best wishes!
Sofia Miryam
Ok.Wow! :D
I don’t know if my little story fits, but just a few days ago, I received an e-mail from a guy I had a let’s say “superficial crush” on- I wanted to get to know him better, but it turned out I couldn’t even enjoy a good conversation with him. So, I didn’t continue my “approaching plan” ^^…not much later he left the city because, in his opinion, the parties were lame and he wasn’t that much into nature either (It’s a very nice city, btw! :) )
…All of a sudden (1 year later), however, he claims that he regrets not having showed me his real feelings and that he is now looking for a lasting realationship, that he finds it remarkable that he has been thinking of me the whole year through and that he even moves back to my/this “calm” and idyllic city, in order to make a new start…together with me.
Matt, please note that I am the superlative of an optimist (the guy knows that,too, btw^^) and that I also aaam kinda naive ^^ I always try to focus on the good heart or even the golden heart in a human being. Help me, I don’t – really don’t want to be pranked… :(
Have a nice day and respect for all these comments and your kind answers- so motivating! :)
Keep it up!
Bye-bye!
Urs
Applepie*
Thanks Matthew, I guess i’m a dabbler haha, but whenever I watch one of your videos I understand them and guys a little bit more each time.
I have a problem with a player at the moment, he’s got a girlfriend, who’s older than him and I – I’m seventeen, so’s he – but he flirts with me alot, people that know him say it’s something more, that he’s different around me than he is with other girls. And I like it, and him, but I feel stupid for falling for it because I know he’s a player and I don’t want to be that girl. But i just don’t know if he’s serious about it.
How can I tell, because he tells me I’m attractive, uses every excuse to touch me, stand close to me, sit next to me, and doesn’t exactly hide it. He also says that he want to be my friend, but is constantly asking if there’s a possibility I would go out with him if he were single.
I just don’t understand him or his behaviour. I thought you might be able to help, because to tell the truth I’m frazzled trying to figure him out.
Thanks
Megan.
Matthew,
They say the things that you need will come into your life… Especially if you are ready, keep your awareness keen and are willing.
Your ebook, newsletters and videos have somehow found me and I am learning so much from each post. So keep up the great work and I look forward to learning more. THANK YOU :)
My question is this.. Don’t men understand that women are just as sexually driven as them? Or does this fall into the, awful but true, Double Standard category.
Sincerely,
Kim
How much will it cost on thursday? I am so excited but I don’t know if I’ll be able to afford it, because I’m a student. My friend owe me money and I just wanted to know if I needed to get them back ;)
Keep up the great, I love all the videos so much, they’ve helped me so much, maybe not to find a guy (for now), but to get a higher self esteem. I owe you my happiness at the moment.
x
And as well, please you girls offer high value to the right guy. I mean, I have so different values to other people, that I must be very clear, whom I gonna offer this fun in life. Not every guy might appreciate it that much.
High quality, wasted on the wrong guy. could happen. we would be the player then?!
I love the inspiration you give, thank you.
Hey Matthew!
Well, i consider myself someone who can add value to anyone´s life. I do not dress trashy or give wrong innuendos so i think this may not be my problem. Maybe, there´s closer to other subjects you´ve talk about, like “playing hard to get” or the earlier video about seconds. Anyhow, it did happened to me recently, this guy and me, we kissed, but he was a player and didn´t commit. But i did it because I told myself that he was right for me, i never kiss guys simple as that. Im saying that what this PLAYER on new york is saying is not applied to all women.
i love you thank you for so much
xoxo
Gaby.
Are you ever coming to the Chicago area?!
hey Matt!
So how can we get acces? for tomorrow?? please let me know, abrazos! desde lejos!!
With every new video you post, I feel like I understand guys a tad better! =D Still haven’t figured it all out but I’m getting there (hopefully) I’m really excited about Thursday..finally something for us folks who live far away from you! Keep on doing the wonderful job you’re doing, helping tons of women feel better about themselves and improve their lives! xx can I give you a [virtual] hug? =]
Matthew,
Thank you so much for the online programme and also thanks for trying get closer to your fans and audience.
I am also really excited about the online programme tomorrow
You the best, Matthew!!
Hi Matt,
I cant wait for whats in store on Thursday. I am so very thankful that you are coming up with this special programme for us too far away to reach out to your and attend your sessions “live” . As I have commented in your previous blogs. Thank you for most generous and kind thoughts.
I have never missed watching your videos since it came around in my mailbox and for you to go through all this length is simply awesome. I can express it in words enough to tell you how each and every video/blog of yours has impacted my insights towards MEN and RELATIONSHIPS.
Hearing Paul being interviewed earlier, makes me think that most of us women do make mistakes that we do not realise that men are looking for more than just good looks, physique and brand or class of clothings and apparels. The part where he says “She may look fit sexy and sophisticated and after she is naked wth mascara running down her face etc etc.. He realizes that she is just another person trying to get by” …. And where man and women are equal in many ways…
Oh well … lets just wait for Thursday then …and I will definitely “be here” with you Matthew … really dont want to miss out on that… !!
Cheers
Zu
Matthew,
Cant wait for your video to be released on here…
Zu