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What Happened to All the “Real” Men?

I was surprised to scroll through the comments of my last video and find the following complaints:

  • “Modern men are such cowards
  • “A real man should go after what he wants…”
  • “This is beta male behavior…”

I have some strong opinions on this

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111 Replies to “What Happened to All the “Real” Men?”

  • Alpha males feel the fear but approach a woman anyway. Beta men turn into little scared boys. A woman wants a real man, one who has leadership qualities and a beta man who shys away from a woman is not demonstrating leadership qualities that turn women on. A man who cannot cross a room to talk to me or to say hello is not man enough to be in my life. If he is afraid of “NO” then how can he handle real challenges in life and in a life with a woman & their family. Its not what a man does but what a man doesn’t do that women notice as well. A man is his actions and inaction is a trait of a coward and little boy. Its a graet way for a women who wants a real man to weed out the fishing pool. All a woman needs to do is watch a man’s actions to know who he is and to discover if she wants to be with such a man. Shyness is for High School. Its unattractive to a woman.

  • Mathew why are good men always run with the good men and bad men runs with the bad men. How can I spot a guy that is just pure good?

  • I love this video!

    It helps me with anxiety when talking to a man to remember he has the same range of emotion that I do. I have to give someone the same signs that I would need to help me be brave.

    Ps the denim tux that you have going on… A+ be you my friend!!

  • Being quick to judge often means its coming from a person who has a lot of experience. I have always been able to tell when a man is interested and when he is not. If I give him signals and he doesn’t respond I move on quickly. Often guys only get one change to pursue a women of interest. It may be the one and only time he sees her and that opportunity could be lost forever. As they say opportunity knocks once. Too many people miss meeting each other because of not following through.

  • Nice message- I like the fact you remind us that we are all human and we need to be more compassionate to others even though it seems so easy for us to do. I like your videos as it keep me looking at myself and know what I am in control of or not.

  • Hi Matt,
    Thanks for this and last weeks video!!!! They’re great… I feel sad for all the women who left such mean comments about men. Your advice really helped me to understand that men sometimes are just as shy and insecure about going to a stranger and talk to them out of the blue like women are, like me for example. The 7 subtle ways of flirting showed me that my guy was actually flirting with me after I started talking to him and that he was doing it before. And I’m so glad I didn’t gave up just because he didn’t show a strong and super obvious reaction like “I want you too”. He was shy and did not know if he was bothering me by coming over and talk to me every day (we take the same train in the morning).
    Now we’re dating for some weeks and have an incredible time together. He’s not that shy anymore, he tells me that I look great and he can’t take his eyes off of me, that he misses my kisses and that he is sexual attracted to me. And he is a caring kind of guy and very thoughtful. In fact…..he is a real man!!!
    So girls…look out for these guys and start talking to them. At least it’s worth the try.
    Thx to Matt and his team for all the support they give. Ann

  • Nice job girls make the rest of us look bad and you wonder why you can’t win respect from guys. It’s okay to want a man to be assertive but sometimes it takes two to tango. Take some initiative. My comment is directed at the ones he read about. Am I right?

  • Men nowadays, many of them are just too demanding and selfish . Expect women to be perfect.

    That’s how I feel based on my observations.

  • I’m actually just sick of men, period. Most of them can’t find their ass with both hands, Do their own laundry, fix a tire or make a decision on their own. They let women push them around – is this okay? Is that okay, baby?

    Men of my age (late 40′ s and early 50’s) are single for a reason … They are so messed up, nobody wants them.

    What happened to the real men of the 40’s, 50’s and even the 60’s? If I wanted to date myself, I’d get a clone.

    1. And if you do find a great guy around 50 with a good personality, interested in a relationship, has a stable and independent life… he’s going to start dating someone in her 30’s. The only late 40s – early 50s guys I’ve met who are interested in someone their age are just looking for a hookup. Maybe Matthew should do some videos geared to those of us who are dating a little later in life!

  • The flirting experience is fun! My heart beats a little faster and I wonder if I am about to meet someone fabulous! I am happy beyond measure when I get a big smile and a hello from a guy! I’ll catch that pass and run with it!! LOL, it’s not all that complicated. Be nice and see what happens! My goodness, spread a little love for life and mankind, we all need the encouragement. Thanks Matthew, Your wisdom, videos and humor are priceless!

  • Hi Matt,

    I usually don’t comment your videos, but this time I just had to take the time and try to explain my thougts because my english isn’t perfect. I come from a country where there are loads of so called alpha men who don’t have any problem at all going after women so I have a lot of experience with that kind of men. It made me so sad and angry to hear this comments, because dear ladys you should not want such men!!! Most of them alpha men are selfish and interested in fullfilling their own needs. It’s so sad that some women identify such behavior as beeing a real men but I understand it because I did too till after a lot of heardache I realized that I missed all of these good guys whom I never noticed because there were not so determend in their behavior. So for me a real men isn’t that alpha men, it’s the one who is caring, loving and supporting you! I had an ex who was the ultimate alpha men and after lot’s of dissapointment I asked myself if he would stay with me if I would get sick and I honestly answered it to myself with a no, I just couldn’t imagine it. I’m so sorry that I lost so much time and at me age (I’m 46) it’s getting more and more difficult, Matt would probably disagree but it really is statistics that there are less single men out there. So, I hope my story will be helpfull for some of you out there and I wish you open your eyes for the good guys!


  • Love your videos Matt, and I personally don’t like to be a hater by leaving mean comments. Nobody is perfect so why do some people seek perfection? Only God is perfect. No matter how annoyed I get by men, I won’t ever hate them. Thank you for everything you do.

  • Thanks Matt,

    Good job. Such an emotionally mature response to some rather illogical comments. I found last week insightful and it clicked for me right away. I’m normally too scared to smile at guys across the room like that. Trying to build the courage thanks to you.

    Keep up the good work. :)

  • Aw men don’t mean to be that way. To me they all have a royal ….men or women have a hard enough time in this world that is so cold and cruel. We all just need to have respect for one another and love and understanding.

  • Thank god.i loved this video.someone who is honest about what it is to be a human being,not just a man or a woman.your passion for your vocation,not job is electrifying.you’ve convinced me to spend all my savings and go to your November retreat this year.you are someone I can relate too.see you there.best wishes

  • I wish I knew this before. Makes me sad at what was missed, and happy that there’s a truth to it that is healing.

  • Wow… I love what u said in this debate… Yeah… Too many realization and it make me understand tge humanity in me… Thank you.. XDhee

  • Thank you for all this great information! I need any help I can get dating at 40-something after an 18 year marriage. You are very caring and compassionate to provide these videos, etc to the “other side”.
    Keep doing what you do so well – us women need you!!!!!!!

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