Knowledge is one of the most attractive things we can have.
Sometimes knowledge comes in the form of what we know, other times in the form of things we can do and skills we have.
We live in a world where it’s become more necessary than ever to have eclectic knowledge and diverse skillsets.
Men are running out of ways to feel special
It’s not enough that we make money or have status, because women today already have these things.
We have to work a little harder to be interesting
We cannot afford NOT to be a Renaissance man or woman with a variety of skillsets, art forms and knowledge bases.
Knowledge and skill is a good look on anyone – as is curiosity which inevitably leads us to these things.
And attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you’re able to keep surprising your partner.
Challenge:
Go and learn about or study something that you have no real need for. Just do something new.
When you’ve decided, leave a comment about the thing you’ve picked. Then come back and leave another at the end of the week to let me know how you’ve gotten on! Do you feel more interesting? Do you have a story because of it?
Be sure to let me know as you’ll be giving me ideas for what I can go on to do next myself!
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I’m from Holland and i saw you on plain Jane on MTV. So i googled you and saw your work. I bought the book and i was hooked, I just finished it today and i recommanded it to all of my (female ;-)) friends. I really believe you’ve changed my life! I’m so thankfull for that! I even got my motivation back to study. Just wanted to tell you this. Thank you!!
Stephanie, this comment was such a joy to read! I’m so glad you enjoyed the book and that it resonated with you to the point of action : ) Thank you for the support and the kind words. Take care!
Matt x
I love how you say the word “status.” Excellent advice! Especially since you can do it simply by downloading a podcast. I’ve actually been listening to podcasts about psychology because it’s incredibly interesting to me. I’m also going to start following the NFL season to learn more about football – not for any special guy, just so I can speak easily about the topic with my football loving uncles at family functions. I really wish you were single and living in Miami, because I’d get bold and strike up smart and sexy conversation with you! ha.
-Jessica
Hi Matt,
I’ve decided to learn something about metaphors. They are really powerful figures of speech which we use in everyday life conversations and we don’t even think about their richness. I think it might be useful to know something more about the language that you speak, because a conscious words’ choice makes you not only a great speaker, but also a great listener and interpretor of the environment. If you are interested in that topic, I can recommend you Lakoff and Johnson’s inspiring book – ‘Metaphors We Live By’.
Best,
Ewelina
Fantastic way to look at it! Awesome Ewelina.
Matt x
Dearest Matthew,
This is my first time being involved in these ‘comments” sections, as I am trying to do things different, as you say in your book, to get different results, you got to do something different. However, I’m not really enjoying it, so probably won’t be a regular contributor.
However, I want to just take this opportunity while I’m here to say a few things briefly that I hope will make a good impact.
I have recently purchased your book and also the audio version, the reason why is because I have a severe condition that has ruined my life. I have had about 4 years of therapy, 2 years private and 2 years on NHS. However, my sessions with the NHS were limited and I am now on waiting list to return. In the meantime, I have tried various self help books, articles etc, but your work is the one I connect with the most, it is almost identical to what I learned in therapy. I am not using your advice to find a guy, I am using it to try to get better and keep going until I return to therapy.
I thank you sincerely Matthew and I’m so glad I found your work , by accident ! If you read this message, I am very grateful, if you reply , then you will have no idea just how happy I will be,
Angela xxxx
Angela, this comment is so touching. Your support means the absolute world to me and I’m so glad I’m able to make an impact in your life! Wishing you nothing but the best lovely! : )
Matt x
Hey Angela,
I agree that Matthew’s book and relationship tips are valid for so many areas of life. All the best – I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Leesa
Hey Leesa, Thank you for reply, how are you getting along with Matthew’s work ? I think I’ve got a long haul ahead of me, I went out this afternoon to continue work on getting better and I ended up literally running back home because I had a panic attack, really embarrassing,
Angela x
Thank you Matthew, you are very kind, I have a long, long, long way to go, but I keep trying,
Angela x
I just started learning how to play the guitar – quite painful, actually, but it’s so much fun :-)
One question, Matt, and I would be so happy if you could answer it: Is there a chance that you will ever come to other countries, like Germany? I would love to go to one of your events!
Great piece of advice! U just proved it with that Chinese/mandarin “stunt”! Although I hated mandarin in school and quit, I have to admit u sounded even hotter speaking it! And I’m now curious (see ur advice double worked!) to know if it was really mandarin or just gibberish lol I can’t even differentiate real n fake that’s how much I sucked at mandarin :(
Haha thanks Mel, and it was real : )
Matt x
Way to go! Great accent and all :) And now I challenge u to learn Mauritian Creole! As for me, I’m actually learning a lot of new stuff due to my History related job but since u said to find something that was not work related I’ve decided to try and learn a few things about the fascinating world of finance! Stock market, here I come!
I want to learn sign language. I know the alphabet and I want to learn more. I just downloaded an app on my phone to get started!
This is fantastic Lauren. Keep up the good work : )
Matt x
Hi Matt
So true, I have learnt a lot of things by moving to a new country such as trying to cook new dishes, dancing, a new language, the list is endless. This winter I will be learning how to ski. I am very clumsy but I do not mind trying new things.
That’s the spirit Vee : )
Matt x
… easier said than done. in a world of faster & better there is often no time to even master ones hobbies or sometimes make time to read a novel… I may make a change today and maybe tomorrow or maybe for a week/a month but then everyday life…
I totally appreciate but i do think it’s a tough challenge… ready to dive in though…
Challenges aren’t often easy, but are more often than not worth it
You’ve got this Irene ; )
Matt x
Oh, it would work if I had guys around me who could actually appreciate knowledge but the truth is that, around my city there ara rarely guys who actually find it interesting instead of boring… I might keep searching I think… By the way I’m keeping my Croatian language classes.
Thanks for all the advices.
Keep up the search Ingrid, they’re out there ; ) Try places you wouldn’t normally think to meet a guy. How about the train, hardware store or the zoo?! There are people in the most ‘unlikely’ or ‘normal’ of places : )
Matt x
Ni hao! Give me something more difficult Matthew! ;) That’s how I spend my free time. This week was history, astronomy and Latin-you know, in case I ever go to Vatican City, or back in time.
Actually thought of you the other day after watching Downton Abbey and Sherlock, researching the history of tea and deciding I’m going to have my own tea time every afternoon. Do you know much about tea/do you drink it?
I think my new thing will be to learn how to paint landscapes. We’ll see how that goes-probably going to take a lot longer than a week. Scribo vobis postea, valé!
Haha outstanding Erin. I do drink tea and love it! But admittedly don’t know a whole lot on it’s history ; )
Good luck with the painting!
Matt x
I love your idea of learning more and being curious. I think it is great to always be curious about life, knowledge and about the person you are with.
I came cross a speaker that said, man like to be unique, and if you know everything he knows, he doesn’t feel special. So actually I find guys might find me intimidating as I know more than they know.
Do you agree with the statement that men likes to feel special and sometimes women being so knowledgeable can be seem as a challenge and no feminine enough?
Hey Cat, thanks for your comment : )
I don’t think that being too knowledgeable is ever a bad thing, but you have to be aware of how you then portray that knowledge as it can easily come off as being a ‘know-it-all’. This goes for men and women. It’s knowing the line between being confident in your knowledge, which makes one interesting, and being cocky, which makes one arrogant.
Matt x
Already decided to make big changes and achieve one of the biggest dreams of my life. So my plan is to go to New Zealand for 5 months to achieve my dream of studying English in a country where the language is spoken and try to become completely fluent. After that my plan is to learn a third language, maybe not fluently but I’m gonna give it a try, just because it’s so much fun :)
Sounds like a great plan Malin : )
Matt x
Chimi-chimi-chimi chimichanga!
Finally got round to watching some of your videos, great advice every time.
I am a single mum of two, recently made redundant. My new skill to learn is how to start a business.
Love how much of your advice is transferable to all life roles.
Such a great skill set to dive into : )
Thanks for commenting!
Matt x
I love football. I couldn’t really escape it as I was growing up no matter how hard I tried…football-mad dad, a football journalist Grandad and a die-hard Liverpool fan and Ian Rush-worshipper brother. The other day I was thinking about the fact that actually, me loving football pretty much just equates to loving watching Liverpool play. I could tell you about the latest Liverpool transfer news or Brendan Rodgers’ managerial style, but that’s pretty much as far as my knowledge of Premiership football ends (apart from the odd thing like Sam Allardyce is very obnoxious and Arsene Wenger needs to pull his finger out and actually spend some money fast). So last night I recorded Match of the Day, and instead of skipping just to the Liverpool game as I usually do when I sit down to watch it on a Sunday morning, I watched the whole thing, start to finish. So, today I was able to talk to people about how amazing Robin van Persie’s first goal was, how the Vidic/Ferdinand partnership really seemed to be working and the fact that Aston Villa, despite a few decisions in their favour, were a much stronger side than Arsenal. Definitely new knowledge for me. And guys like a girl who knows her stuff about football, right?
Haha firstly, thank you for the football update ; )
Good on you for expanding your knowledge Stephanie. Keep it up!
Matt x
Thanks for celebrating brains AND beauty :)
As an engineer, I find so many men intimidated :-/
I just returned from a spiritual solo trip to Joshua Tree Nat’l Park (east of LA, Calif) and I’ve signed up for a French class at a local college. I am planning a trip to the Monaco GP next year& wish to be a respectful traveler & be able to attempt to speak French! :)
As a motorcycle racer & motorsport enthusiast; I am looking forward to learning & experiencing things outside of the mechanical. .
Hey Krystyna,
Sounds like you have quite the adventure ahead of you! Amazing : )
Matt x
Thank you :)
Public libraries are a great resource to start with. Many have subscriptions to databases and learning resources, such as Mango for language learning – with Mango you can learn any language, from Mandarin to Spanish to (even) how to speak “Pirate.” Or, set a goal to learn one new thing from each section of the Dewey-decimal-organized nonfiction stacks every year. That would be good.
Hi Matt,
I’ve been following your video blogs for a year or so and I also bought your book (which I didn’t get the time to finish yet…but what I read so far was really helpful!)…
I find your inputs enriching and so real!
Thank you!
Take care!
Ilaria
Hi Ilaria, thanks so much for your support : )
Matt x
Every day we expand our knowledge naturally its just being able to recognise that fact and apply it. After breaking out of a long-term relationship at the moment I’m focusing on learning to be single again and approaching life in a totally new way, hence I’ve been reading a variety of books such as yours. At 55 yrs I’m finally realising that men are less intricate and emotional than I ever thought, and after 3 important relationships have failed I am more aware of the men that I will not tolerate in my life now. I am hopeful that this will lead to my interactions with men being different and lead to positive relationships.
NB one guy I was dating years ago responded to my saying “I’ve been thinking” with “Don’t think it makes you dangerous”!!! SAD BUT TRUE!! I have thought as a woman when with a man and that’s the last thing they want, now I will not put female annotations to try to think what on earth is going on with them. Apparently it’s not a lot!
Stay tuned : )
Matt x