The whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon has been on a lot of people’s lips recently. I generally don’t use my platform to talk about celebrities, firstly because I don’t like to judge people whose lives I know nothing about, and secondly because I don’t much care what they are up to.
I did however watch the VMAs along with a lot of other people, and found the whole performance somewhat uncomfortable. It’s hard to express exactly why without some serious reflection.
I believe in empowering women and showing them what beautiful people they are. I believe respecting women to be of the utmost importance, secondary only to a woman’s own self-respect.
So I was left a little conflicted with the Miley thing. A lot of people are judging her right now. She’s entitled to go through phases, just like any of us have. In a perfect world she’d be entitled to go through these phases without the judgement of millions of fans and non fans. Unfortunately (and fortunately for her income), she has millions of fans and non fans ready to judge her.
The truth is, I do not care what the world thinks of what she’s doing. Nor do I much care about what the general population thinks about anything. We all have to be smart enough to look at a situation objectively without the rants of the mindless controlling every aspect of our thought. The temptation to parrot the demagogic ramblings of the gross tabloids and magazines is always there.
But I’m reluctant to go down the righteous route of “she’s a role model so she should do better”. She’s not some elected politician who has a responsibility to their electorate. She’s a singer. She makes lot’s of money selling records, amongst other things. I will admit to finding the concept of lots of teenage girls emulating this ‘phase’ disturbing, but whether that really is her responsibility is another matter. God forbid we ever be in a position where every move we make is judged on how great an example it presents to millions of others; an impossible standard to live up to to say the least.
Although I don’t think ‘Miley news’ or any sort of celebrity news is ever really interesting or of any consequence, yesterday something did catch my attention: an open letter from Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus.
Since I cannot talk from any personal experience of the music industry, nor of being a 20 year old woman, this letter contained a lot more credibility than I have on both counts.
After allegedly claiming that her Wrecking Ball video was inspired by O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2U, Sinead expressed her concern for Miley not only as an artist but as a woman.
This letter sums up the ‘High Value’ way to look at this situation more authoritatively than I could. It’s long, but it’s worth the read I assure you.
After you’ve read it, let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter (I would love it if the comments weren’t about Miley Cyrus, but about the situation itself. There’s enough judgement on her as an individual without us having to add to the pile. I think it’s much more positive to keep it constructive and look at it as something to take personal learnings from).
Dear Miley,
I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares … So this is what I need to say … And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.
I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.
Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.
I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted … and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.
None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped … and that includes you yourself.
Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.
You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever … Don’t be under any illusions … ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty … which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.
I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money… we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age … which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.
Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question … I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.
As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image … whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.
Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted … its so not cool Miley … its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers … that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.
As posted on www.sineadoconnor.com
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Remember to leave a comment. What are your thoughts on the situation?
Chapeau! Somebody had to stand up to remind this girl of these vanishing morals and values!
Thank you, Sinead O’Connor, for taking the time to write this letter to Miley Cyrus. The wisdom spoken is what every mother should teach her daughters. Many of us have not been taught anything by our mothers, except to defer to men and let them be in charge. The consequences of this is that many of us have to spend years, decades, trying to figure it all out. It leads to bad decisions and the inability to choose. We don’t listen to ourselves, because we have been taught to ignore ourselves. It’s time for women to recognize that women have power in their own feminine nature, which is caring, loving, and assertive about expecting good behavior from men. We can only be manipulated in a derogatory manner if we allow it. Sounds like Miley Cyrus is allowing selfish, manipulative men to run her life and show. They have probably convinced her that it’s a good idea to market herself as a sexual object. I agree with everything Sinead said in her letter. Now, let’s hope Miley reads it and pays attention.
I’m with Anjali. It’s interesting talking about Miley, I suppose, and more interesting talking about Sinead to me, anyhow, but what about Robin, who is older and supposedly wiser?
Miley will laugh to the bank, and possibly cringe at the footage in a few years, if it’s of interest to anyone.
She’s young enough that she can clean up her image and it will go away, and she can make a new impression while still young.
I don’t think Miley is having relationship problems that I can see as a result of her performance.
http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/28/dear-son-dont-let-robin-thicke-be-a-lesson-to-you/st
This is a great blog post that points a finger at Robin Thicke, not Miley. whether male, female, young, old… it’s pretty tough to gain any real respect from others if you don’t exhibit any respect for yourself
I have to respect Miley, while many don’t see why. She contributed to her family with her own work at a young age, when her father’s income had to be waning. She just lacks the social context to understand what’s happening right now and what the changes to her image mean. She finds the preoccupation with sex comical and she’s making fun of it, not really getting that others aren’t feeling the same sense of enlightenment. She’s experimenting with it and is learning what the consequences mean. I don’t think she actually lacks self-respect, just an understanding of how the social relationships around her work.
No matter how enlightened you want to be, other people are following those rules.
If you understand those relationships, it’s hard to understand how someone will behave who does not.
I’m actually curious what Madonna has to say about all this.
That aside, I cringe to think about secular Israeli girls watching this and copying Miley. We have enough problems in Israel with promiscuity without “help”.
Thanks for your input, Matt.
I think everything is pretty much in this letter. Women are half the planet, half the species, and 21 centuries on they are still, and ever more, subject to barbaric violence and treated as second rate human beings. People are generally more outraged by violence or even just negative comments on homossexuals, blacks or immigrants, than they are when it is directed against women. It disturbs me to my very core. Still, nothing will change if women in the developed world, the ones who still have the least bad situation, don’t respect themselves and let themselves be exploited. A role-model or not you are always responsible for the choices you make. And the effect they have in the world around you.
Hi Matt,
I agree with Sinead O’Connor, especially since she argues a case for values in a world which seems to base actions on poor decisions, and then seem totally amazed when things go wrong and clueless as to why they did.
Few people will want to hear this truth, because it works against selfishness and those who would prefer that it gets easier to exploit others.
Whereas it may be a phase for Miley and it is harsh to expect her to be a saint, the unfortunate truth is that she ‘represents’ women at some level and makes it less easier for those of us who prefer to be known for our values and who prefer to be seen as women of good character.
For her own good though I hope she grows out of it/ or past it.
Thank you, Sinead O’Conner for being honest with truth in love. I feel sad that artist believe the lie that sex sells music. I wish all the artists – male and female would realize at the end of the day their music sells itself. I have bought a cd because of one song and found better songs on the cd then what was actually slatted for the radio. I am raising a son and I have to keep reminding him that he should treat all women like he would treat me with respect regardless of how she is protraying herself to combact this streaming nonsense that women are just objects that keeps being maintained by media and music
I think Miley is just trying to grow out of her image the wrong way. I do believe Sinead would have more of a positive impact and be more credible as a high value woman if she would clean up her mouth. Seems like she does not care any more than anyone else talking to her that way
Thank you for sharing this letter, Matt. Men will not learn to value women when women express themselves in such a one dimensional way. 25 years ago, when I was in college, I went through the phase of thinking, “I’m tired of being a good girl. If a man can have sex when he wants with who he wants, so can I.” But I never got anyone to love and cherish me that way.
While I’m sure your heart is in the right place, Sinead’s response seems a bit short-sighted and archaic. I believe women should be able to do what they want, famous or not, and I feel like this letter undercuts and pidgeon-holes Cyrus in a way that a typical man might, which is counter-productive and reductionist.
Amanda Palmer eloquently shares how I, and many modern women, feel about the topic, so I’m suggesting this great article to your readers as a counterpoint:
http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2013/10/amanda_palmers_3.html
I’m long in the tooth now and quite frankly celebrity gossip goes over my head. Sinead goes on to ask Miley who is advising her?
We all have a conscience. We all have our limits. We can judge any and all celebrities on their behaviour and that apparently, they are role models. Celebrities are not a reflection of the real world but like so many youngsters who don’t have the benefit of hind-sight or a crystal ball, they can’t see themselves sat with friends in 5-10yrs time saying to each other ‘what the hell was I thinking?’. Youngsters rebel, especially the ones who want to be heard. Miley is not the first and most certainly won’t be the last. I have so many memories of my past behaviour that makes me cringe. It has made me aware of what I’m prepared to do nowadays. I don’t fall the the first guy who tells me I’m pretty anymore, I don’t trust the friend that tells me it’s only a short drive to go clubbing in Manchester (from Birmingham). This line of Coke won’t get you hooked.
We are all impressionable at all stages of life. If Miley is getting advice from some perv who’s telling her to get kinky on a rather large hunk of metal…I’m sure she sacked the advisor in the background who shook their head and tried to protect her!
It’s about choices and right now there are people choosing not to twerk and those who are going out of their way to twerk in your face. I reckon a bit like the Macarena-it will all just be an embarrassing moment from the past and something more horrific will take its place.
I am who I am today because of the mistakes I made … And subscribing to Matthew Hussey of course!
Although I am not a fan of Miley,I whole heartily agree with what Sinead had to say in her letter. Women don’t find success, or real success in life from pimping themselves out like that or letting themselves be pimped out like that. It’s not right, my boyfriend tells me that he loves me because I have self respect, guys don’t truly love a women who has no self respect like that. I’m happy Sinead sent that letter, she is someone who believes in empowering women, good for her.
Thanks Matt! Sinead said it so well! It makes me sad that so many young girls think they can win a boys heart by flashing their body.
I whished I had someone take the time to express a hart felt concern for me when I was young. It wasn’t untill I had a little age on me before I realized how much bullshit I had bought into. My primary nature is to be a people pleaser, naturally that left me wide open to be exploited. Face it, men define the fashion industry wright down to the clothes thats sold at Wall-Mart not to mention what we are suposed to look like. It’s all about “That Thing”.
She went straight to the point. And I think she’s right about how they want to make money out of miley. It’s up to miley to stop giving in to their demand. She’s beautiful and talented
Very well said.
I cannot put into words how much I agree with every word that Sinead wrote. As a 20 year old woman, I appreciate the advice that she has given. I hope every young woman has an opportunity to read this.
I totally agree with the advice given in this letter!! Hope Miley will be introspective and smart enough to follow the advice.
I think that her message is straight on. I also think it can be applied to most aspects of life for women, not just the music industry. Just like when some women get in a relationship and change to conform to what the man they think they want, wants them to be. Trusting in ourselves and our own worth will make us stronger and wind up in much better relationships.
HI Matthew,
You bring up a good subject about Miley Cyrus’s performance at the VMAs. It was shocking and very disturbing to see the Disney tv star look like and act like a poster image of Hookerville and act worst.
But why she was doing is more disturbing as she claims she sold her soul to the devil. Her tongue hanging out was to invoke an ancient God called Bala. All the Illuminati hand gestures and sexual behavior was awful to watch. Miley sings really really well. She performs really well. She don’t need to do any of that.
She sells her music without it. I kept asking myself why is she doing this ? What the heck in the point ?
Well the Illuminati is who she means when she says she sold her soul to the devil. Illuminati are a very powerful shadow group in the music industry that makes or breaks stars. So to further her career Miley felt she had to sell her soul to the Illuminati in order to keep and further her career and fame. Illuminati are a vile group of child molesters, sociopaths, psychopaths and murders who demand that others bow down to them and they are powerful enough to end your career or kill you (Michael Jackson) if you don’t do what they say. Miley sticking out her tongue was invoking an ancient God named Bala. All the sexual movements, her hand gestures all come from this shadow group Illiminati.
If Miley was not controlled by this shadow group, I really don’t think we would have seen such a high value female degrade herself like that. Her dad, Billy Ray Cyrus must of run into this shadow group and he must of warned her about them and yet, she sells her soul to them.
You picked a hard subject, Miley Cyrus, to try and come up with HV with. She threw all of her high value out with that one performance. Not sure how you can come back from that.