I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.
Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…
►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
Did I hear all 3 ways? (1) change your sense of worth; (2) community and connection; (3) be more vulnerable
Best words of the week: “Just because somebody didn’t reciprocate in the moment, don’t think they didn’t enjoy your vulnerability/kindness” Describes my lifestyle with friend A.
Yes that comment is what stood out to me. I was actually just really vulnerable with someone today after a lot of thought and prayer. I haven’t heard back, but you know, I know that person respects my thoughts regardless and hopefully it made their day a little brighter.
I love spending time in this community even when the issue may not directly pertain to me. There are a lot of gurus and people trying to make a buck off this stuff, but I truly, truly believe Matthew is genuine and wants to help, and that’s what keeps me coming back. Thank you for caring! :)
Thank you for this video, I loved it! Every point you made is completely true. I have definitely struggled with this feeling in more ways than one. Not being able to talk to anyone because most everyone you know will misinterpret or use my vulnerability against me. And the real friends that might understand or help are far away and can only say I wish I could be there for you. Understanding and being unable to be selfish causes more of the lonely feeling. However I do find some relief by being able to be there for others and being that person just willing to listen. I’m an Esthetician and lash stylist a lot of people let out a lot during those times and I find most of the time they just want someone to listen.- Which I’m happy to do. Anyways watching your videos is definitely a great positive outlet I’ve found and you’ve helped me in more ways than one so thank you
Loneliness ja a Crowded Room.
Hi Matthew,
I understand how feeling loneliness is coming from your deeper emotion because I felt that when I got stationed to a new base for the very first time. I am in the ARMY and always moving or sending to do training somewhere else where you don’t know anybody. I felt that loneliness sometimes. When I got assigned my first duty station, I didn’t realize I could be feeling so alone even when I was in relationship and have friends with me. That deeper feeling of loneliness changed me to act very different from what I used to be like worse. I didn’t realize it until one of my friend experienced the same thing. I saw the changes in her that I saw in me. I come with my loneliness when I helped my friend since she was a little suicidal at that time, so I had to be stronger and always be there for her even I was also feeling emotionally disconnected to my own self. Being with my friend and helping her made me learned about myself and helped me with my own loneliness. From there, I realize that I need to learn who I am and make a connection to my own soul so that I can be happy with my own self. We both relied to our families and God and now we are good. Both me and my friend tamed that feeling of that deep loneliness because we learn that everyone come and go and if we won’t feel satisfy and happy with our own self, we would be feeling lonely all the time. Thinking positively in life actually helps too. Instead of saying problems, we refer them as lessons because all things happen for a reason either a blessing or a lesson.
Thank you for the post! Hopefully this helps a lot of people!!
Hello Matthew,I love to listen and watch your videos. I am widow after a 30 year relationship and I am trying to get back into dating and it is not easy at 59 years. Dating was easier back then and the men today don’t seem interested in finding that one love and investing time and energy in building something real and lasting. I listen to your speeches and I us most of those techniques but I have no patience for these men shenanigans. I am usually alright with my own company but lately I have these bouts of overwhelming feeling of loneliness and I am trying to get out more and connect with people and I seem okay but then the rush of loneliness hits me again.
Thank you Matthew I really enjoyed your video and like that lady said how she felt sad on Sundays… today was Sunday and I cried a little after mass. Then something amazing happened! I helped two different people at the metro to get to the correct platform for a train and I immediately felt better! Later in the Fternoon I telephoned a friend I hadn’t spoken to for a long time and arranged a get together!!! Helping others gave me a lift thank you!!!
Thanks dear Matt, for now my loneliness has been heavy, some times painful, but healing as well. From here in Panamá a warm hugh to all of you. Best!
I watch all your videos.
You lift up my morale.
Thanks for the video…watching the video I felt a bit uncomfortable since Ive felt all those feelings but its always good to really look at oneself so one can change. I agree with you with doing something you are passionate about or being of service can help us feel more connected. Being vulnerable can be a bit harder to do but I understand why it would help. For me I also feel connected when Im in nature or even sitting next to a patch of greenery in the backyard. And having pets also help.
Thanks for sharing your advice. Much appreciated.
Wishing you all blessings.
Matthew! Thank you very much for all the amazing advice you give to us. It’s great to know you. About this videos in loneliness.. I’ll start showing my vulnerability.. which I almost never show .. and yes watching Instagram etc. Makes me sometimes feel I’m missing a lot.. thank you for telling us , we are the party! Un fuerte abrazo.
Monica
Hi Matthew,
I would love to break free from loneliness.. But I don’t know how .. I always try .. I’m Syrian girl who moved to Sweden after the war. I found myself lonely here. No friends and the one I have here is not a real friend. I used to be very social active and positive person but now everything is changed. I’m working in an office alone all the day. I go to school 2 days a week but everyone is busy in their lives. I couldn’t make any new friends here. I just go home and sit alone feeling more lonelier everyday. All what I’m left with is social media to keep me connected with my friends but it’s not enough. I need an advice to get out of my situation.
Thanks
I love your videos on loneliness because it helps give me strength and hope. Even better was hearing from the women in the videos and completely identifying with what they said. I’m surrounded by people at work all day, I’m their leader and I support and give them kindness hoping to inspire them to get through the day. I give it genuinely and willingly because I love the people I work with; but when I go home and no one is there for me, that’s when I feel most alone. Thank you for reaching out and being there for this community.
PS- LOVED the Harry Potter/Ned Stark look!
Thank you Matthew for eloquently explaining loneliness. I watched last weeks video three times. I am a single mum who just had her sons leave home. You hit the issue on the head, it’s not about being around people. It’s having a sense of importance, contribution and purpose that eradicates loneliness. I guess I need to find something else to create or be needed for. Thanks for what you do.
Wow! You have really touched my heart by showing how normal it is to feel lonely. I lost my husband very suddenly nearly 3 years ago after being married for 20 years and dating him 3 1/2 years before that. I have 2 young girls, 8 and 4 now, who also miss their dad so much. Life has changed in so many ways for our family. I have felt lonely many times in life, but always dealt with it and went on to more happy times. The loneliness I feel now seems so much more magnified to me now as a single mom.
You are so right to point out that loneliness is not a respector of persons and can hit anyone in any circumstance. Funny, how even seeing this video about how other people experience loneliness, is comforting, in and of itself. I try to remember that I will not always feel lonely and that truly, in spirit, I am never really all alone. Your videos have been so timely and totally relatable to my life and to so many others. We have a lot we can learn from each other, haven’t we?
Hi, I don’t normally contribute with comments but I really feel that you need some reignition for your work lately, the latest vidieos have been in their own right, profound at times. They have helped me get outside of my own head and view these emotions logically and constructively and I really must thank you and congratulate you on a job , very well done! Sometimes credit is overdue!
*** Recognition ****
Dear Matthew, you are such a beautiful person…thank you for making videos about that topic. It made me realised that i am not the only one who feels like that. Thanks for your advice, it really helped me today when i offer a big smile To someone who looks more lonely than me . Wish you a happy week
The difference between being alone, and lonely is,… loneliness is a lack of support.
Support: acknowledgement, being important, connection and return.
You can be with someone, in a relationship or just being in someone’s physical presence and feel lonely due to a lack of support and / or connection. Mainly support as you can still feel supported when connection is absent.
The real question is what to do when you aren’t supported? How do you support and be there for yourself, when it’s not coming from the outside.
The first step is to live in a state of ‘doing’ not ‘having’ ( or receiving). To live in a state of doing, you become responsible & accountable for your actions. You focus on what you do, and the results created. You let go of the habits that creates what you don’t like, and develop actions that create what you do like. This is a choice to make what we do, love. It’s life long — we live our entire lives learning how to better love and set healthy boundaries.
Living with focus on what you do, will attract others who are the same. You will attract and have people in your life that support you.
The hard part is sometimes ‘doing’ in relationships, takes you to ending a relationship where you’re not supported. ( If you’ve tried everything, and the other person does nothing. ) If the other person won’t heal, you have to heal yourself, and leave them behind if they don’t want to solve, grow or self improve. You have to focus on what it is to set standards, to stop enabling, and maintain your personal power by committing to what you do, and what you do is love.
Being lonely is the opportunity to learn how to live and take actions to create support if your life. No easy task. Relationships, job fulfillment, and the intangible things in life, take consistency and time. Being lonely is a signal pointing to a lack of support in your life. When you find the source, it’s a journey to figure out how to solve it and what actions to take.
Sending lots of love and support to all who read.
Well Mathew all your videos are really helping me a lot and the concept of loneliness which you done lately has pushed me through the feeling of loneliness.I still feel lonely in the crowd specially among friends since I’m so jammed up with family with kid so my friends ignore me even though I try my best to get connected because all of my friends are unmarried but I’m so they out caste me from the group…educated Indian mentality. But you are doing a wonderful job to me and all women paving the way to overcome loneliness. Thank you
What do I do, when I feel lonely all the time? Especially when surrounded by people. Even people who are friends?
I feel bad when I leave a really touching message and you don’t reply. I know, I’m just looking for outside validation. I should be more emotionally mature. But it is nice to connect with someone I respect and admire. I don’t see that in “my” real world. I’m having a hard time seeing men I find attractive and of substance. I’m older now and I look amazing for any age. I went out on a date from an online site and the guy told me I look better that 20 year old’s. So it’s hard for me to get a match. I wish I could clone myself into a male and date myself. Okay…if that’s not vulnerable!!!! Hahahaha!