I realized a huge truth about getting rid of loneliness that I didn’t mention in last week’s video.
Learn this simple-yet-powerful concept, and you’ll have an essential tool to create happy, meaningful relationships and feel connected again…
►► You don’t have to do it alone. Let’s take this life-changing journey together…MatthewHusseyRetreat.com
Hi Matthew, Thank you for being a friend and ally. I really do love your words. Loneliness really is connected to internal self-worth and can lead one to suffer or to build inner strength and character. Thank you for reinforcing this in me as I watched your video. It is easy to know which choice to make when loneliness presents itself. I choose to grow stronger ever time.
I’ve been trying to send you this small parcel with no success – you would have a great energy after you opened it.. :) Please be so kind and vulnerable to receive it. It would be great if your team let it pass through to you ❤….
Hi! I enjoyed this very much!!!
Hi ladies and gents! Great to be here with you all
Matthew,
Thank you for always encouraging authenticity in our lives. I continue to work on being the best version of myself. Your counsel and support have been tremendously helpful to me.
Warm regards, ~Dori
Matthew, thank you for your work in shedding light on the darkness (suffering) that many often feel alone in. Just a thought for the community- I think it might be helpful if you extrapolate on what makes someone safe to share vulnerability with. Often we hide because of manipulative or abusive individuals that have taken our vulnerabilities and abused them. Would love to hear your insight into how to discern those that would be safe to be vulnerable with and those who are not. Vulnerability is a beautiful thing that must be stewarded as the precious quality it is. Thoughts?
Thank you Shayla. You have asked the exact question that I couldn’t put into words. I didn’t realise until I watched this video how lonely I am. I am petrified of showing vulnerability after it being manipulated to use to abuse me. Even my own family don’t get witness vulnerability from me. If we could recognise if a person is genuine or not. It would be life changing :)
“A standard is something you do no matter what.” (inconsequential of the reaction of others). That was my favorite line. Matthew, I am grateful that you are inviting me to act, rather than being acted upon. What I love most about this video is it is validating and empowering. Yesterday, I was feeling lonely. I wanted companionship, I wanted someone to be in the house with me. However, the loneliness only dissipated when I got in my car and drove to my parent’s home. The challenge with loneliness is that we begin to believe the LIE that people don’t care as much as they really DO care. Loneliness can paralyze us rather than help us act. This TED talk captures this idea and further expounds upon what you shared, https://www.ted.com/talks/guy_winch_the_case_for_emotional_hygiene. It is given by Guy Winch and is called, “Why we all need to practice emotional first aid.”
I have never commented and am quiet frightened to do so but because you invited me to do so, I am choosing to act. Thank you for the invitation. Thank you for making the world a better place. You have helped me more than you know. Peace and blessings.
Matthew, I can relate to all of theses comments I can connect with. My problem as a hospice social worker I feel I give everything I have and have nothing left to give. I like by solitude at times but loneliness is overwhelming. My “boyfriend” who is many miles away and last I heard from Valentine’s Day. He says he loves me but he his MIA. I love him and can’t walk away. I have a huge time with being vulnerability. I’m afraid of being of being hurt as I block everyone out and turn away offers to get coffee or a cocktail. Emotional energy is void. Any thoughts are appreciated and just have to say your energy and words of wisdom are wonderful. Accent and your charm help too.
I believe the biggest problem is that people are afraid being alone because society has labeled it as a bad thing, that loneliness is a bad thing. If you are living alone at a certain age you are automaticaly being labeled. You have many cats then you are the crazy lady with the cats. Maybe there is some corelation but not everyone has cats because they are lonely or crazy. Maybe they just like taking care of the poor animals other people have abandoned.
Maybe people who are not lonely in the sense of feeling lonely and living alone should be helping out those people who are by themselves and maybe feel lonely from time to time, if not all the time. It’s important to feel important to others. But that does not always come only from the inside sometimes outside help is needed too. So maybe next time you see that ‘crazy cat lady’ say hello and ask how her day is. Ask her if she needs anything from the groceries’ shop.And maybe you will get to know her better and she might actually turn out to be an amazing person who can babysit for you on your date nights. At times people need just as little to feel better about themselves. We all need just a milimeter ship -quoting Matthew here- for a bigger change. A simple smile can make someone’s day. A nice gesture can change a life. So it is worth it to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and just start giving and we will get in return what we give. I’ve realized from my personal experience on the crappiest days I have ever had that a smile, a hug, a nice word can make the shift one needs. So on those days you feel great about yourself give some of that to the people around you and if you are lucky enough you might get it back just when you need it. Maybe when you are at your worst and want to disappear the sweetest guy in the world would come over, buy you a cup of tea and listen to your problems, maybe even give you a valid advice, cause someone has done the same for him when he needed it.
If only people were more conciderate there would be no loneliness even for those living alone. It’s important to know your worth but it is also important when you forget it to have someone to remind you about it. :)
I have been seeing your videos for a long time but really never felt like commenting before this time I felt you really nailed it.
I am really proud of you for doing this.
So much suffering around.
The world needs people like you to help the change that.
I guess as the world leave the Religious believes they are left with very little guidance.
And it is true how people need someone to look up and trust their judgment to give them a start on their own healing process . Good luck on your journey. Lili
Hi Matthew!
Your video is so touching. Thank You!
After my divorce I went through what felt like The Dark Night of the Soul and I finally came to experience the difference between aloneness and loneliness. I now thoroughly and fully enjoy my alone time and know to reach out for connection when that turns to suffering due to loneliness.
BTW I wrote a poem for you a few months back and wanted to send it but could not find an appropriate email address. I wrote the team @ Get the Guy several times but never received a response. I would simply love to send to you given I took the time to write it! I think it will make you smile:-)
Love
Bella
Hi Bella, good on you for learning to enjoy your solitude and reaching out to friends when you need them. Post your poem here in the comments and I’ll make sure Matt reads it.
Loneliness is simply our brain’s way of alerting us to our need for connection. It’s a signal, neither good nor bad, and if we listen to it, we can do something to fulfill that need. It’s a defense mechanism against emotional starvation and there are many ways to feed ourselves. I think if we see it for what it is, the stigma disappears.
I love this comment and not only that we share our name
Fantastic observation. Thank you.
Hi , Matthew, there is a very nice TED talk , the power of vulnerablity by Brene Brown , if you haven seen it have a look ! It opened my eyes . Made me feel beter about my self !
I feel lonely most when I focus on it. Yet the reality really hit home because my only Son went off to college last week and it’s been just he and I the last 18 years.
I know a mate will help But, I want my mental state to be clear and content before that because I know a man Will NOT be a cure all nor do I want him to be. This is said in agreement with Matthew that loneliness is an emotion.
Thanks everyone for sharing! :-)
I so appreciated this! I just moved to a new city, leaving behind my awesome community. Learning to embrace solitude a little while I get my bearings.
You were spot-on with your comment about self-worth being a trigger for loneliness, the more I’ve learned to value myself, the more vulnerable I’ve become!
It was my birthday yesterday and I was completely alone all day. It was not nice. Maybe I’m just disorganised. ….
Hi Matt
I’m one those people, who constantly read your posts and watch every video, even all the emails you send, but hardly comment on anything. This times posts really captured my heart.
I’m married for a year and a few months now. I don’t know if I can call this being lonely. I have a great relationship and friendship with my husband, but I always seem to come second to his brother. The kind of connection or friendship they have makes me feel that I will always be second to his brother. It hasn’t always been like that at all. This made me feel very lonely because I feel I can never be that special to him like his brother is.
We don’t have any children yet. I always have to compete for his attention. I don’t want so seem ungrateful but there is no compromise when it comes to his brother. Even privileges his brother has, I don’t even have as his wife. I feel really lonely and so insicnificant..
Any advice..
Tabita
My, oh, my – after a breakup that doesn’t break already – I know, half of the reason is ME – there are moments of totally painful loneliness. I enjoy my solitude so much, but the lack of connection with my man makes me ache. I connect with my clients, my friends, but lack of intimacy is different.
Alright, I’ll wright my first comment because you are convincing when you asked us to do so Matthew.
I’ll say hi to all those wonderful women who learn like I, about emotional intelligence and relationships. :)
Please know that you are precious, and please, cherish your lives. Wear your crowns women cause you are queens of your own universes and you are dignified. ;)
Thanks for “being”.
Hi Matthew
Just saw you video on loneless I’m in tears my life is so lonely at times I’ve thought of ending it all I hate this feeling I wish I could change how I feel .