This is a video for teenagers.
It’s the beginning of a new school year, and so for this week’s video I wanted to things that I know I would have benefitted me as a teenager.
What would you tell yourself if you could go back?
Here are the 7 things I’d tell my teenage self…
1) Take risks
Try new things. We’re always going to be able to talk about the things we did, but never able to talk about the things we didn’t do.
We tend to carry on in school the way we started. It’s easy for an identity to be created by the way that other people see us. Don’t let yourself get pigeon-holed.
2) Be careful who you’re trying to impress
There are people right now (whether consciously or unconsciously) you’re trying to impress.
Be very careful about this.
If you could see where these people were going to be in ten years time, I guarantee you would re-evaluate who you’re trying to impress.
3) Trying to get invited to the party doesn’t get you invited to the party
One of my big insecurities in school was wondering whether or not I’d be invited to parties.
Being invited to parties is the byproduct of being the type of person that other people want to spend time with.
Focus on being someone that other people love spending time with.
4) Ignore people’s first reactions
When we do something new, we fear people are going to look at us strangely.
People who get acceptance are the ones who don’t need it.
If there’s something you want to do, do it regardless of what others might think. When you ignore their reactions, you’ll get over the initial period of discomfort and to a point where they accept how you now are.
5) School can suck
A lot of school is doing things you don’t want to do.
Studying things you don’t want to study, hanging around people you don’t want to hang around, listening to teachers you don’t want to be around…
And a myth in life is that that all changes; that when you begin doing what you love, you’ll be able to stop doing things you don’t love.
Sadly, it doesn’t quite work like that.
I’ve found in my life that even though I do the thing I love more than anything else in the world, there are plenty of things I still have to do that aren’t things I love.
The art is finding a way to enjoy whatever it is you’re doing.
When you’re doing the things you don’t want to do, can you figure out new ways of enjoying doing those things?
If you can, you’re going to be happy for the rest of your life.
6) See everything as a stepping stone
Many people resent jobs they do because they don’t feel they’re getting them closer to where they want to be.
The most successful people I’ve met have done a number of different jobs that had nothing to do with where they ended up.
But rather than viewing these things as a waste of time, they saw everything as a stepping stone.
Don’t fret that right now you’re going into something that isn’t exactly where you want to be.
The wrong job before the job you’re passionate about can have been the right job at the time. The wrong job can be a blessing when it teaches you more about what you want and where you want to go.
7) Enjoy being young, but think like an adult
When you’re a teenager, people are trying to lay down all sorts of rules around you.
But an adult treating you like a kid doesn’t mean you have to rebel like a kid.
You can still make the smart choice, by doing what’s best for you.
Don’t rebel just because you want to get back at someone.
You need to go out and mess up. Just stay within the realm of making mistakes that you can recover from. Make mistakes that aren’t going to kill you or stop you from building the future you want to have.
So there you have it. My 7 tips.
Leave a comment below to let me know what you think!
And if you’re an adult, leave a comment with the one thing you would tell your teenage self that you know would have made life better.
Can I just give a big high-five to all the teenagers commenting here who are following Matthew’s wise words? You guys are more awesome than you know.
I too would like to give them (and you!) a big high-five! Thanks Ann : )
Matt x
Matthew,
Thanks for the creative way to let our young people hear some great advice. I’ll share it with the girls I mentor.
And this is going to be a cool tool for discussion and learning. It definitely shows self worth and appreciation when we can look back and speak well to ourselves with compassion and it shows great respect and care for others that you would share this with them.
Keep up the good work:)
Oh and the one thing I would have told to myself is actually 2 fold: your far more valuable and lovable than u know – keep ur head up, beautiful, life gets better:)
Amazing Ashleigh, thanks so much : )
Matt x
Dear Matt,
I am sixteen years old, I have read your book and have been following your blog since ready for love. I love it! Even though a lot of your advice is aimed towards an older audience I feel it’s relatable to so many things in my life and has already helped me to become a more confident person! Thank you for making this video especially for teenagers! When the day come for me to be in a relationship I will keep you advice/wisdom close in mind!
This is such great news Tess. Thanks for your support and glad it’s making an impact : )
Matt x
Hey Matthew (and my teenage self),
Thanks for the video! If I could give my teenage self some advice, I would definitely say that rather than focusing on all of my problems, I should have tried to be aware of the people around me and how I could have helped them. It’s really common to be insecure during your teenage years because it’s a transitional phase, and you’re still trying to figure out who you are as a person. I was no exception. I was so absorbed with my problems and insecurities that I failed to help people around me in ways that I could. Part of the reason for this is that I was too insecure to “risk” my social standing by doing something outside of what I perceived to be the expectations of my peers. You will never regret something kind that you do for another person. I’m still far from perfect on this one, but I’m working on it now, and it has made me realize my value as a person because of the effect I can have on others.
Be kind to one another,
Natalie
Great lesson to take away from your younger years Natalie. Thanks for sharing : )
x
I was so excited to see this as the topic since uni starts tomorrow! I’ve been dealing with some personal family issues this past week, so hearing your advice got me ready for the school year to begin. Last year I had the outlook of a “fresh start” and becoming the me I want to be. But a the year progressed I found myself reverting to my old ways of being timid and not confident. As I’ve watched your videos, I’m learning that being the outgoing and confident me is the only way I will be happy and comfortable. So this year I’m hoping to embrace my personality and put myself out there on campus; starting tomorrow! xx
That’s what I like to hear Shannon!!
Matt x
High school was a bit of a rough patch for me. While I was smiling and laughing with my friends, I was constantly tormented by my own self-loathing. Nothing I did was good enough. I expected perfection, but there were times when it reached the point of absurdity.
There are a few pieces of advise that I would like to give my teenage self. The first being that you should never compare someone else’s norm to your own. We are individuals for a reason. The second is to stop seeking perfection and instead strive to be your best: no more, no less. I often confused the two, because I did not understand my own strengths and weaknesses. Perfection is sometimes not in reach do to a lack of knowledge, practice, or talent. However, I am always capable of doing the best I can with the skill set I have. This is not to say that you cannot improve. It simply brings my standards to a more realistic level. The third, and most important, piece of advise is to make the decision to be happy. Life suddenly becomes more enjoyable when you do.
Well put Berlin : ) Thanks for commenting
x
Thank you Matt for inspiring me everyday :}
: )
x
hey Matthew ,
thank you for thinking about the teens.. (I myself am 16) I love watching your videos and learned so much sometimes I feel like my friends are mentally somewhere else then me because I see everything with bigger eyes what showed me who are my real friends. Love number 6 ”see everything as a stepping stone ” because you get some insurance that everything happens for a reason if you learn from it and that your gonna grow in the process..
Thank you,
your in a strange way a hero for a lot of people!
Everything has a reason if you let it ; )
Thank you Danielle, I’m truly flattered.
Matt x
Hey matt!
I am 16 to 17 years old a d Ive been watching you since I was 13. You are deffinetely my mentor I always appreciate your advice! Everything that you said are in my mind locked in a box where it sais “mathew Hus”. When i ll grow up, be /8 years old, i swear to GOD i will come to your seminars and give you a big BIG HUG that will express all my love and caring for you.
Keep on with the great work of yours.
ΣΑΓΑΠΩ ( in greek means I love you)
Take care
Xxx
Iphigenia, that is amazing! Thank you so much for your continued support, it really means so much : )
Take care!
Matt x
I would’ve told myself not to sweat things like social status, popularity, and being happy with or without my boyfriend. Thankfully I did well in high school. But I feel like I sometimes lost focus because I was too busy being angry with people or situations that had nothing to do with my academics. I also would’ve told myself to follow through…I had amazing grades up until my final year. In my last year I was having a hard time at home, and socially at school, and I let it get the best of me and it affected my final marks. If I could go back I would focus more on the parts of school that mattered, but you live and u learn I guess.
Love your outlook. And when it comes to your final year, if you can look back on it and say “I did my best” then that’s what counts. With everything else going on in that year around you, you still got through it and with a lesson learned to boot! I think you’re doing amazing : ) Keep it up Nourah!
Matt x
Love it i would show it my friends but they would think I’m weird, haha (ironic) !
Well I believe you actually shouldn’t worry about what your friends might think of you. If you believe that your friends could actually benefit from this blog and video, then share it without any hesitation. Who knows… they might actually thank you for sharing this knowledge with them. Long story short: SHARE IT with your friends if you really want to. I’m sure they won’t bite your head off for doing it!:)
Take care
xx
I think you’d be surprised ; )
x
:) thanks again for your video! :) and wisdom!
I could say i was a trouble teen…compared with my sisters and brother…when i was a child, i was the easy one, but when i was teen, i ve done the wrong things …
i think i would change only the way i talked to my mother(blamming nothing and everthing) when i was pissed, because NOW i really give the value and respect for everything she taught me…
She was and is right about this life and she always taught about being good…how we should work hard to achieve your dreams-being happy with little things-always be righteousness-respect people…and so many other things…but when we are a teenager we dont really see the things we should…and my family was normal family, and really peacefull, and so the things that i did like other teens was really shocking to them… :)
*IF I WOULD CHANGE the things i ve done when i was a teen?* NO, because i am what i am right now because of that experience…and i really want someday my children think and see life like my mother taught me.
With my mistakes i learned what i dont want to be, or who i should give a chance to be in my life,built my personality making me a stronger and a happy person! :)
Kisses! *
P.S- curiosity: my mother worked with really troubled children without parents…and so, she was a patience mamma..! :)
Now: i am a teacher(musician), and really like to work with the trouble teens ;)
Extremely wise advice Matt, I’ve actually pondered this topic before. If I could tell myself one thing as a teenager, it would be that despite the pitfalls and moments swallowed in darkness, life doesn’t end in your teens. I remember it being so easy to believe that a dark day meant a dark week followed by a dark month and before I would know it, a dark year. Sometimes the reiteration of there being endless opportunities beyond that decade was what I and a lot of others I knew, needed to be told most.
P.S. Thank you, if you’re not sure why, you’re not giving yourself enough credit=)
I would tell myself to evaluate things before I make any decision. I was the rebellious type during my teen and always wanted to get back at my parents and prove them wrong. Now, I still get angry easily but I somehow I could calm myself faster and reason out. Emotions will get into the way when someone is angry so the best thing to do is not to react but calm down first and then think of what is the next best thing to do.
I’d tell myself to learn to be friends with my little sister. She’s annoying now, but she’s one of the few who will consistently be there years from now. Not to mention, she’ll give great advise because she knows the whole story.
And take better care of your eyes all those hours designing on the computer. Being the cool, twenty five year old in reading glass can play the sexy nerd thing, but its actually a real pain.
On a side note, Matt, I think your passion for what you’re doing is awesome. If you’re ever in Atlanta, I hope we get a chance to meet.
Thank you, thank you for making these videos! It was perfect watching this video today because it was my, nerve-racking, first day of college. I have a very nervous personality, but it has been a lot better, partly due to your videos. I’m happy to report my first day went really good. :) Thanks again!
Laney
So Im 16 and I did learn some valuable lessons watching this. I mean I think that 20 years ago when I look back at high school there will be a lot of things I wish I did do. Some clubs, some projects, friends I wish I made, things I wish I said, etc… That’s not what I want but when your young there’s not much opportunity to do those things and the peer pressure is always looming. I understand the stepping stone concept. Im also glad that you know High School sucks be cause it definitely does. I wish you can show me the wrong people Im impressing because I want to know.
I’ve reached that magical age where you start to realise how hard it is to be an adult, how hard it is to bring up children and how many mistakes you make with the very best of intentions. It is so hard I think to transport yourself back to the time when you were at school and possibly because life gets harder, you might not notice that you also get better at it. Parents a lot of the time give advice from the standpoint that young people have it easy, their problems are simple to solve and they need to just listen to me- then they shut them down, which naturally evokes a shut down response in the teenager. It is so good that you have validated the fact that it is really hard to be a young person and inexperience does not make you stupid, but also that parents are most often right and they do know what they are talking about. Unfortunately they don’t always deliver that experience in a way that is particularly helpful. I am glad that you have reinforced the fact that teenagers (and adults), need to be their own biggest advocate and thus really try to at least take note of advice that might be helpful to them, even when it is presented badly. Teenagers could even try to have some empathy for their parents- they have responsibility in droves but any real idea of how to do it still alludes them. Presentation often suffers most when you really care, and most parents really do care more than they have or will care about anything else.
Hi!
I would tell myself that its awesome that I kept beeing myself at all times, and should stick to it. I was the cind of teenager with a funny haircut and wierd clothes..But I liked it and didnt change for anything, not to hang out with the popular kids or to fit it. I was the outsider with a horse instead of one of the popular kids who played fotball. And I defended people in my school that got bullied witch made me a living target. Got bullied alot but never backed down. For now, 9 yrs after I graduated highschool almost all of the bullies have talked to be and told me theyre sorry for causing so me much trouble. I forgave them! As for now Im a really beutiful girl with a good job and most of the bullies are unemployed loosers…. So karma is a bitch I guess. Thanks for the video. Hugs from Sweden! /Nina
Matthew,
Again, even though I’m not a teenager anymore, another great video.
I’m looking forward to the retreat in april next year.
I still can’t believe I said ‘yes’ and subscribed…!!
Ellen