I’ve read countless complaints that go something like this: “Matt, I just don’t meet any guys I actually find attractive.” Or even more severe: “I can’t find a guy who I consider relationship-worthy for me. Maybe I’m destined to be alone…”
I understand that fear, but I also know that this is a dangerous psychology trap, one I’ve seen men and women of all ages fall into. If you feel like no guy is quite what you’re looking for, this is how to solve it…
When did someone’s curiosity allow your interesting side to come out? Leave a comment below…
I’m a 50 plus outgoing independent career woman. I find men my age are put off by my strength and stay away. I often have some great 30 something guys show genuine interest because they say they can have an honest conversation with me. There’s one guy who particularly interests me because he asks me intelligent business questions and deep philosophical questions and he’s genuinely interested. He also treats me like a queen He’s got my interest piqued.
Couple of weeks ago since 6 months but this interest lasted for 2 weeks only. All is gone after him not replying except for 1 out of 3 to my DM
Hi Matt,
I have been seeing this guy for about 2 weeks and i like him very much. Few days ago, he told me he has been in contact with his ex again and he needs to sort things/sort himself out before he could start seeing other person again. This makes me feel like – “not again… and I need to start over again to meet another guy…” so this might be another reason that I don’t find more men attractive…
Hi Matt,
Actually, just this morning,on POF (dating site). A man left me a message that was really good. He actually knew how to write lol. He was very honest n thorough in his profile. He seems interested in getting to know me. My interest is sparked. He liked my profile n attributes lol. Wish me luck. It’s been a long time since a man interested me.
men are people and people stay in conversations when honesty interest and humour play a part , get away from the “chatting up” scenarios and just be genuine. sometimes when we feel we are at hte most uninteresting in our lives, is when we are the most interesting!!
When they showed interest in what I do in my business.
I just want to meet, hell even just see, a guy on the street and say “I like him”. Not like him as in I want to meet him or anything. Just see someone and say damn, yes.
It has happened to me a couple of times in other countries, but it has never happened in mine. (No, it’s not an “exotic” factor). I’ve been in love, once, very destructive, but I wasn’t physically attracted to him and acknowledged that I didn’t actually “like” him.
I just.. don’t think I can be attracted to anyone here, man or woman… Which is sad and frustrating because I don’t want to leave my country..
Matt, I have no answer to your question. I simply don’t remember when last. I’ve just drifted on this boring/bored/ not into that board. Thank you
Actually Mr.Matthew the guy get interesting in me when I wear my atracttive clothes and make-up but suddenly it goes gone for only the eyesight and never tried to talk to me if how’s my life and work to be…never knowing my good ideas that could be more make’s me attract.and do i look like so insane and dumb person to be like that?? He only do the Bad judgement…
Hi Matt I met n guy online about a year ago well I met a few but he stands out as we could chat really chat he showed the interest in me I craved for years. He really got to know the real me…. But is disappeared to reappear stating he got scared as it was moving to fast…. We haven’t as yet even met. I did the dumb thing as I wanted him so badly back in my life…. We stay miles apart so meeting will maybe never happen. Now every guy I meet online is doomed as I just can’t make the connection like I did with him. I live in a small town so meeting single guys is a problem. I did buy u r book so I am hopefully for the future. But I can’t just get that guy out of my mind
I have met 2 men not guys or boys as I’m 60 now and I look 42. one is 62 and the other is 6 months younger than me. The latter I have been talking for a year now and we are so much alike. The other also thinks like me but blows hot and cold (a widower) I am equally attracted to both. Both long distance. The guys I meet here (not men) are in their 40’s but I don’t want to do younger again. The guys my age just stare at me and I don’t like to be looked at in a hard way.???
That happens everytime a man actually has a conversation with me and doesnt make the topic of convo of how pretty and sexy i am or about my curves or about sex period.
That happens everytime a man actually has a conversation with me and doesnt make the topic of convo of how pretty and sexy i am or about my curves or about sex period. When they actually talk to get to know me they find out more that they like beyond that.
I have positively interviewed on dates and it didn’t make me feel more interesting. It made me feel like a science project.
What I like is when someone actually sees me. As in ‘the me’. When someone gets me.
I’m 29 and have had that happen to me only once. And I have been on many dates, have had many flings, I can tell when someone sees me or when they don’t. And I’m not ruling out that people might need a bit of time or several dates to see you, but I feel like too many people have an idea of you in their head too soon and don’t keep in mind that you’re a constantly evolving, complex organism.
Oh yes. It did happen to me two months ago. He was so curious about me, my life, my story that suddenly i noticed with surprise that: „hey Anna, wait a minute! You are totally interesting girl!”
Definitelly thanks his curiosity my interesting side come out so cleary that he noticed this as well
Looking good Mr. Matty! I like the rugged laid back casual thing you have going on. XO
It’s only if a guy finds you physically attractive will he even try to have interesting conversation. Most online guys are miserable at conversation and rarely ask anything personal about me. It’s been four years since a guy actually asked me about me. When I make the first move, shut down because they’re not attracted to me. Very disheartening.
I want to get “the guy” not a guy. I have zero problem getting a guy. Yes they show interest but they are not usually the ones I want. I don’t believe I am being too fussy. The truth is when someone comes on strong I usually find that unattractive and I don’t want to do that to anybody else because I know how uncomfortable that can feel myself especially when I am not interested on that level. There are exceptions of course but generally speaking I don’t find men who peacock attractive, unfortunately the ones who are attracted to me often seem to do this.The last dating partner that I had took his time and I did find that more attractive initially. He invested but then he whined about life all the time… I know everyone has flaws but surely it is ok to have some standards on who you want. I’d rather be alone to be honest than to keep settling.
I have actually had 2 guys that I met through mutual friends within the last 2 years… We started out texting, talking on the phone, then dating. They were “into me” and one I really fell hard for. After a couple months the one just wanted to be friends because we could talk forever about anything… The one I fell hard for sent me a text after what I thought was a really nice weekend together that his ex called and they were going to try and work things out! Course about 3 weeks later, who does he call? I am a talker and I am straight up, honest… I work in a predominantly male field, so I have alot of male friends. I am normally not shy or intimidated by guys, I normally end up being “the friend.”. Not really your question, but how do I turn it around?
When I went to a therapy group, this handsome, interesting guy, who was actually the psychologist of the group, took special interest on me. :)