The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

A recent scientific study (…well Marie Claire) showed the two most romantic things you can do for your partner are…

1) Put on a candle-lit dinner. 2) Write a hand-written love note. This got me thinking…

There are many cliché romantic things we can do for our partners, but I’m a big believer in the most romantic things being unexpectedly romantic.

As such, I’ve compiled a list of 7 unromantic romantic things you can do for your partner.

By the way, ladies, I would suggest you send this video to the man in your life.

If you’re single, if nothing else, send it on to your uncle, brother, or someone you know whom this will earn huge brownie points for.

They’ll thank you later!

1) See the terrible movie your partner really wants to see

When your partner’s shown you some awful trailer that they think is great, book the tickets to go see it.

I know you don’t want to go. They know you don’t want to go, but it’s going to mean the world to them that you took the initiative instead of being dragged along kicking and screaming.

2) Surprise them with their favourite lunch

Surprise your partner at their office by taking them their favourite lunch. This will be totally unexpected, and you get extra points if it’s a spot that’s way out of reach for them during their lunch break.

3) Run them a bath

Run a nice, warm bath. Get some bubbles going, a few candles and some music…

Then get the hell out.

The whole point of this one is you’re not there. Romantic things don’t always have to involve the two of you. You can do something romantic by leaving them to it. This one involves them relaxing and you giving them space.

4) Take their mum out to lunch

Spend some quality time with the person they care about most.

This doesn’t seem romantic as it’s not with them at all, but it will go massively appreciated that you’re putting in the time and effort with someone they care about.

Treat them well, make it on you, and show them a great time.

5) Wash her car

This is a nice, manly thing to do. Totally out of the blue and she’s going to love it.

6) Make her feel like a princess at that time of the month

This might just be the least romantic sounding of all, but there are going to be times where you lady has her ‘lady pains’.

When it gets to that time of the month, you have to think of all of the little things you can do for her in the moment.

Have a ritual set up. Get her a heating pad, rub her back, put on her favourite Disney movie, and do all of the little things that will ‘ambush her with kindness’.

Make her feel like a princess at a time where she’s normally used to guys not having a clue how to take care of her.

7) Learn how to make HER cup of tea

Everyone has their own particular way of doing things.

Learn the subtle intricacies for how your partner likes things done, and it will amplify the effect of you ever doing them.

Not only are you making her a cup of tea, breakfast in bed, or cooking a fancy dinner, you’re doing it the way she’s always fantasied about.

And that’s it!

Sometimes the most romantic things you can do are seemingly the most unromantic things you could do. It’s these little moments where you really show your partner you’re there for them in ways that no one else is.

Anyone can throw together a candle-lit dinner on a first date or write a love note. Here’s a list of things that show you know your partner inside out, and that you care deeply for them.

Question of the day…

What’s the most unromantic romantic thing someone has done for you? It doesn’t have to be something that seemed romantic to everyone else, but it felt romantic to you. Let me know in the comments!

For advice and strategies on how to find a man, the A-Z of dating, and a blueprint for how to get a guy out of friend zone, check out my online program The Man Myth. I cover all of these and more, and you could be watching it in just minutes by clicking here.

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204 Replies to “The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures”

  • I have been dealing with knee pain since April and it was in May that I met this lovely guy in Scandinavia. Because my knee would star hurting after walking for a bit, I always had to get ice and sit down somewhere to rest. In the metro and buses I always had to prop my leg up. Anyway, what I loved most about this guy is that he already knew all of this! And so as soon as we sat somewhere he’d grab my leg and rest it on his and massage my sore knee and if we sat down in a restaurant or cafe he d ask the waitress for some ice before I did. He also remembered little details about my stories and brought them back in future conversations which I found endearing. :)

    Thank you Matt for all of you advice. Have been following for some years now and loved your book! As I tell my friends, you’re my life guru!! Would love a comment from you!! And as soon as I finish my medical degree and star earning some money I will go to one of your live events!

    Wishing you lots of success,

  • Well, the most unromantic romantic thing was when I was dating in the early step with a guy (we are soon together in a relationship I hope, it’s going really good!). It was valentines day and I was study abroad. I asked him about a good restaurant in the area (he was from this city) and he told me to go with friends to a Greek restaurant where he knew the owner. And guess what, they have me the sweetest rose at the restaurant – from him!!!! Because he wasn’t with me he took the chance to give me something anyway… It was such a surprise!

    But how to move on in a relationship now… Matt we need a video about that’!

    Nathalie :)

  • Hey matthew,

    Chandrakanthi here, I have to tell you, it was a great video message and advice!
    Especially when the tea slowly came into the picture, hilarious good.
    And I’m a REAL tea with milk type …. with a little sugar in it.
    As you say tea with milk, it should taste good for that person!
    Very important;).
    The last piece of the music and that you sang a little, laughable to see.
    I really had to laugh at it:), so nice to see.
    Looks like you have a lot of fun and it is nice to see!

    But I have an emergency question for you.
    I’m still single and I’m happy and everything goes well with my life and job hobbies.
    I enjoy it every day :).
    But suddenly exboyfriend e-mail me every time.
    And I know from mine best friend he has a girlfriend.
    And now he e-mail me every time.
    I have not responded it back because I do not know what to do about this .
    Meantime I continued my own life and in my heart, I want no contact with him. I want to go on with my own happy life.
    I don’t Trust my ex boyfriend .
    Because in the past ,he cheat it on me !

    My question to your is: What should I do about this situation ?

    Greetings from chandrakanthi

    1. Hi Chandrakanthi!

      Seems to me he’s bad news. You already don’t trust him and he’s looking to see you while he has a girlfriend… I’d say to just continue to distance yourself from the situation.


  • To answer your question, Hussey –

    My sister is studying for the LSAT with me. It’s not “romantic” but it’s the sweetest thing she has ever done for me. When I burst out into tears, she is there to lend me moral support

  • Dear Matt,
    I love your advice and whomever holds the key to your heart is a very lucky woman indeed. I just have to admit that your arms were a wonderful distraction in this video and I must encourage you to film while wearing t-shirts more often. It’s true, ladies love a well dressed man but this casual look suits you very well.

  • I don’t have anything to say about the romantic stuff (single for years and somehow still not dating).
    BUT I have to say that I like the videos that are cut together. They are sharper and easier to watch. Love your sense of humor!!!
    Hmm…maybe I have to start using the information in your videos and not only laugh about your jokes. Maybe then there is some romantic stuff for me out there somewhere. Definitely. Maybe.

  • Hey thanks for your great advice ! It’s really helpfull !
    I’m french and I would like to know if there are some stores where I can buy your book in France.

    Thank you again for all your videos, it’s always what I need to know !

    (sorry if I did some mistakes).

  • Hi I just love your videos Matt. I’ve just started to exclusively date my current boyfriend just over a month ago and one of the things that drew me to him was something he did withing the first couple of weeks of going on out first date. I was moving out of my apartment and into a house and before we had even decided we were exclusive he offered to come and help me. He washed walls and windows and helped me to move my stuff. It was one of the nicest most endearing and romantic gestures anyone has ever done for me!!

  • hahahah!!!!! Matthew, you are just a MASTER! You are amazing!!! You know what exactly women like!!! I want to have a guy just like you! I wish all the guys to be like you!xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


    1. I prefer half tea , half almond milk. With Agave Nectar TWO SPOONS ONLY

      and three brisk stirs with the spoon, two clinks,

      and a “ta da”

  • Hi :) I’m from Turkey. I’m not sure if it was the most unromatic romantic one, but I’m sure it was pretty romantic :D We were at his place, and I was hungry. He ordered two “pide”s for each of us. It’s a kind of Turkish fast food. I could only manage to eat half of the first one when he’d already finished one. He asked me if I was going to eat it and I said no. He got dissapointed and said he’d been waiting for me to finish my first to start eating the second one simultaneously. It sounds silly but was really cute.

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