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The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

A recent scientific study (…well Marie Claire) showed the two most romantic things you can do for your partner are…

1) Put on a candle-lit dinner. 2) Write a hand-written love note. This got me thinking…

There are many cliché romantic things we can do for our partners, but I’m a big believer in the most romantic things being unexpectedly romantic.

As such, I’ve compiled a list of 7 unromantic romantic things you can do for your partner.

By the way, ladies, I would suggest you send this video to the man in your life.

If you’re single, if nothing else, send it on to your uncle, brother, or someone you know whom this will earn huge brownie points for.

They’ll thank you later!

1) See the terrible movie your partner really wants to see

When your partner’s shown you some awful trailer that they think is great, book the tickets to go see it.

I know you don’t want to go. They know you don’t want to go, but it’s going to mean the world to them that you took the initiative instead of being dragged along kicking and screaming.

2) Surprise them with their favourite lunch

Surprise your partner at their office by taking them their favourite lunch. This will be totally unexpected, and you get extra points if it’s a spot that’s way out of reach for them during their lunch break.

3) Run them a bath

Run a nice, warm bath. Get some bubbles going, a few candles and some music…

Then get the hell out.

The whole point of this one is you’re not there. Romantic things don’t always have to involve the two of you. You can do something romantic by leaving them to it. This one involves them relaxing and you giving them space.

4) Take their mum out to lunch

Spend some quality time with the person they care about most.

This doesn’t seem romantic as it’s not with them at all, but it will go massively appreciated that you’re putting in the time and effort with someone they care about.

Treat them well, make it on you, and show them a great time.

5) Wash her car

This is a nice, manly thing to do. Totally out of the blue and she’s going to love it.

6) Make her feel like a princess at that time of the month

This might just be the least romantic sounding of all, but there are going to be times where you lady has her ‘lady pains’.

When it gets to that time of the month, you have to think of all of the little things you can do for her in the moment.

Have a ritual set up. Get her a heating pad, rub her back, put on her favourite Disney movie, and do all of the little things that will ‘ambush her with kindness’.

Make her feel like a princess at a time where she’s normally used to guys not having a clue how to take care of her.

7) Learn how to make HER cup of tea

Everyone has their own particular way of doing things.

Learn the subtle intricacies for how your partner likes things done, and it will amplify the effect of you ever doing them.

Not only are you making her a cup of tea, breakfast in bed, or cooking a fancy dinner, you’re doing it the way she’s always fantasied about.

And that’s it!

Sometimes the most romantic things you can do are seemingly the most unromantic things you could do. It’s these little moments where you really show your partner you’re there for them in ways that no one else is.

Anyone can throw together a candle-lit dinner on a first date or write a love note. Here’s a list of things that show you know your partner inside out, and that you care deeply for them.

Question of the day…

What’s the most unromantic romantic thing someone has done for you? It doesn’t have to be something that seemed romantic to everyone else, but it felt romantic to you. Let me know in the comments!

For advice and strategies on how to find a man, the A-Z of dating, and a blueprint for how to get a guy out of friend zone, check out my online program The Man Myth. I cover all of these and more, and you could be watching it in just minutes by clicking here.

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204 Replies to “The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures”

  • Hey Matt,

    omg its so cute how you talk, thanks for the video i always get so much inspiration and many ideas from you ^^ xoxo Viki

  • You made Jameson laugh! It was so real :) Thanks for all you do for us. It really helps :) When will you have a day long seminar in LA again?

  • OMG!!! :) now i feel but, i saw yesterday the traveling pants sisterhood… O_O well..i saw it alone…! :)
    well, u are so cute and so funny…always, and we are curious about jameson! :)

    Love ur advice, and its funny because n.6 remind me that i have a wonderfull brother. we are 3 sister, and when we was living with us, it always bring chocolate or chocolat cake for us…in that time of year…. ^_^ and now his wife is always saying that he is one of a kind, and he is! :) little things, make the difference.


      OMG!!! :) now i feel bad, i saw yesterday the traveling pants sisterhood… O_O but alone…! :)
      well, u are so cute and so funny…always, and we are curious about jameson! :)

      Love ur advice, and its funny because n.6 remind me that i have a wonderfull brother. we are 3 sister, and when he was living with us, he always brought chocolate or chocolat cake for us…in that time of the month…. ^_^ and now his wife is always saying that he is one of a kind, and he is! :) little things, make the difference.


  • Oh Matt, you really made me chortle tonight.

    Those are great ideas for romantic gestures, the smallest gestures are the ones that mean the most.

    My ex husband always thought that he was being romantic. He once bought me 4 bunches of flowers but followed it up with “they were in the whoops bucket in tesco, 20p each” ermmm thanks. lol

    Getting the cup of tea right is a big thing with me, even at work, even if I’m making tea for an office full of colleagues, I make sure that I ask each of them how they like it and make sure it arrives as requested.

    Enjoy being back in the UK with your family. It’s raining by the way.

    Jo x

  • Matthew has alot of sense of humor. Jameson need to be more funny as well, make us smile. Those advice of Matt are so good , but so laughable as well. That is the best way to learn !
    – So good that to mention Jameson in the video. Creative

  • I’m really digging this information you are sharing here about us women kind! This will always reach my heart. You got this one right on the nail head.

  • Okay, so you’re funny, hot, and smart.
    What’s the catch? Do you like men just like me? :’)
    But yeah, great ideas, gonna let this window open on my computer so that when bf turns it on sees it and hopefully watches it… see if he does any of these things without me suggesting it

      1. i thought that 2!!! with jameson….wow, people would be depressing if matt like guys….but he is a cutie either way…maybe he is secretly married….! :)

  • Hi, Matthew!

    So the nicest thing that somebody did for me was as you said – unromantic romantic thing, and it wasn’t even my boyfriend who did it.
    I was on a trip with some friends, we were sightseeing one place and we stopped to take some photos. Some of my friends started talking in Spanish – cause they we’re from Spain and Brasil and I stood couple of feet from them, taking pictures and looking at them talking from time to time. And theeen.. one guy from that group has noticed that I was listening to that conversation and figured it out that I didn’t understand much of it, he left the group, came to me and started to explain everything they were talking about..
    I was soooo pleasantly surprised by what he did! It seems such a small thing but I will always remember it ;)

    Greetings from Poland,

  • To answer you question: walking with me around the city when he hated to walk.

    And now I have some existential questions:

    As a girl shall I wash the car of the man with who I want to be romantic?

    When do you put lemon in the tea?

    Do you like Adele? If not, why noy?

  • 1. See me.
    2. Understand yourself.
    3.Never do any of the above, as I will know you are trying too hard and you don’t know me…I am an individual.
    4. Do anything from a Coke Ad and I’ll die laughing.
    5.For God’s sake leave me alone when I am ‘At that time of the month’…no..just go away…Really.
    6.Keep growing emotionally otherwise I’ll get bored.
    7. Don’t tell me men can’t do that – women have mortgages and careers..this is not the Stone Age.
    8. Buy me roses and I’ll roll my eyes. Buy me what I really want.
    9. Don’t show me off, I’m not here to please your mother or your mates. See No 1.
    10. Talk to me properly, without bullshit. If you can’t, buy a blow-up doll.

    1. Amen on number 10.

      Guys are so full of bullshit. I can sniff it from a mile away.

      I have to work on being more approachable though, but so few guys are actually worthy of true attention.

      How hard is it to find

      religious guy , nice , with a good career, ambitious , and balanced when it comes to gender roles. open minded

  • By the way, I have the presentation tomorrow of my final essay to complete University. It´s kind of like a tesis and I have to present it to a trial. Wish me luck.

    I´m SO nervious.

  • I loved this video, it really made me smile. Somehow I will need to make sure that any future boyfriend of mine sees this ha ha.

    I reckon I could make you a great cup of tea by the way :P x

  • Hi Matt! With this video you really surprised me!
    what you said is completely right.
    Now i think i will surprise you with the most unromantic thing ever: computer programming. Who could find computer science romantic?
    one of the most unromantic but romantic thing a guy did for me was teaching me to create my personal website. He knew that i was dying to learn that and i was in trouble in trying to do it by my self ;) – and very few people notice that i like this kind of things of because i am an italian fashion victim girl (unexpected as an aspiring programmer)
    And, after that, he sent to me (without I needed to ask for ) in the following months by e-mail all great suggestione and links to how improve it.

    Please, let me know if i won the cup for the least unromantic but romantic thing ever!

    Thanks for your video.

  • Matt,
    Seriously brilliant. I pictured each of these things being done for me as you said them, and could imagine the feelings-totally romantic! Like he really knew me, really cared about my well-being.
    Love your videos, and thanks for the bonus of being funny :) You always make me smile.

  • Matt what would you do if you lost all your happiness snd hopes in your life I’m not talking about love life cuz now I’m in a stuation and I really need someone to tell me what to do

    1. I’ll tell u what to do, Yaro!

      Happiness is never lost, love. Happiness is always here and in the now (Check out Eckhart Tolle). Make a list of things that make you happy and go seek them out / do them !

      Happiness and all the love you have is in your mind (Lucky Man, the Verve)

      ~ S.

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