The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures

A recent scientific study (…well Marie Claire) showed the two most romantic things you can do for your partner are…

1) Put on a candle-lit dinner. 2) Write a hand-written love note. This got me thinking…

There are many cliché romantic things we can do for our partners, but I’m a big believer in the most romantic things being unexpectedly romantic.

As such, I’ve compiled a list of 7 unromantic romantic things you can do for your partner.

By the way, ladies, I would suggest you send this video to the man in your life.

If you’re single, if nothing else, send it on to your uncle, brother, or someone you know whom this will earn huge brownie points for.

They’ll thank you later!

1) See the terrible movie your partner really wants to see

When your partner’s shown you some awful trailer that they think is great, book the tickets to go see it.

I know you don’t want to go. They know you don’t want to go, but it’s going to mean the world to them that you took the initiative instead of being dragged along kicking and screaming.

2) Surprise them with their favourite lunch

Surprise your partner at their office by taking them their favourite lunch. This will be totally unexpected, and you get extra points if it’s a spot that’s way out of reach for them during their lunch break.

3) Run them a bath

Run a nice, warm bath. Get some bubbles going, a few candles and some music…

Then get the hell out.

The whole point of this one is you’re not there. Romantic things don’t always have to involve the two of you. You can do something romantic by leaving them to it. This one involves them relaxing and you giving them space.

4) Take their mum out to lunch

Spend some quality time with the person they care about most.

This doesn’t seem romantic as it’s not with them at all, but it will go massively appreciated that you’re putting in the time and effort with someone they care about.

Treat them well, make it on you, and show them a great time.

5) Wash her car

This is a nice, manly thing to do. Totally out of the blue and she’s going to love it.

6) Make her feel like a princess at that time of the month

This might just be the least romantic sounding of all, but there are going to be times where you lady has her ‘lady pains’.

When it gets to that time of the month, you have to think of all of the little things you can do for her in the moment.

Have a ritual set up. Get her a heating pad, rub her back, put on her favourite Disney movie, and do all of the little things that will ‘ambush her with kindness’.

Make her feel like a princess at a time where she’s normally used to guys not having a clue how to take care of her.

7) Learn how to make HER cup of tea

Everyone has their own particular way of doing things.

Learn the subtle intricacies for how your partner likes things done, and it will amplify the effect of you ever doing them.

Not only are you making her a cup of tea, breakfast in bed, or cooking a fancy dinner, you’re doing it the way she’s always fantasied about.

And that’s it!

Sometimes the most romantic things you can do are seemingly the most unromantic things you could do. It’s these little moments where you really show your partner you’re there for them in ways that no one else is.

Anyone can throw together a candle-lit dinner on a first date or write a love note. Here’s a list of things that show you know your partner inside out, and that you care deeply for them.

Question of the day…

What’s the most unromantic romantic thing someone has done for you? It doesn’t have to be something that seemed romantic to everyone else, but it felt romantic to you. Let me know in the comments!

For advice and strategies on how to find a man, the A-Z of dating, and a blueprint for how to get a guy out of friend zone, check out my online program The Man Myth. I cover all of these and more, and you could be watching it in just minutes by clicking here.

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204 Replies to “The 7 Most Unromantic Romantic Gestures”

  • The most unromantic romantic things are these when my boyfriend does something that I know he doesn`t enjoy to much and he does it anyway for me. I do my best to do this for him as well…
    I love the end of the video, you`re soo funny ;)
    Take care

      1. you seem like a great guy, like you know the exact thing to do to make a girl happy. i think maybe it would be fun dating a guy like you.

      2. You seem like a great guy Mathew, like you know exactly what to do to make a girl happy. You know even though i am a very picky lady i think id actually enjoy dating you. or at least someone like you. lol

        1. Oh my Lord! this video was hilarious- but so true! – I laughed so hard – you caught me right off guard I had spit tea up all over my computer screen…..Thanks Matt……ps luv the wash her car thing- I just wish I had someone to wash n wax mine! Thanks , Monica ;-)

  • Hi Matthew i hope everything going good with you,

    And nobody has done anything romantic for me -___-
    But i thought it was a weird question one boy in the bakkery ask me
    Do you have the Pill and i’m like no weird and than he ask me do you have a boyfriend and i’m like : no i have no boyfriend never had…
    Very weird but answer them honestly.
    I’m going trough alott right now but i’m gonna make the best from it.

    Have a Nice week Matthew i wish you the best in life.
    And i wish you all the luck in the world.

    Lovely Greetz Thirza. ;)

      1. Exacatly it was ask out of the blue. Affcourse i’m thought the underneath from it you know what i mean.

        Thnx for your answer

    1. Sorry, I had to reply. If there’s no one at the moment there to be romantic for you, then you have to treat yourself well instead! Be good to yourself, there’s nothing wrong with that; you can run your own bubble bath :) The thing abut the guy asking you weird questions, he showed you straight away he’s not a quality guy, so don’t waste your time. I hope you meet someone soon :)

      1. Haha Thnx but i’m only 15 years old and right know i dont to have a relationship because all i do is focusing on school and my internship and That’s it.

        And affcourse you can always relpy ;)

        Have a Nice day/ evening ;)

  • to me the MOST romantic thing was, that when we were crossing the street he was moving to the side where cars come! That always made me feel that he takes care of me! ^_^
    BTW the video was incredible! all of them are! :)

  • Well, this is really cool. Specially the third one, but I would say that if you’re going to learn how to make her cup of tea, you should learn also which is the music she prefers to relax with. I find this very important. And if you don’t know exactly what she likes, just put some quiet piano tunes, I’m sure it would work.

  • Dear Matthew,

    oh my god thank you SO MUCH! I’ve LITERALLY been
    thinking about this topic the whole entire week.
    If I’ll ever find a man who actually knows how
    to make his girl happy. I don’t want to be given roses this is SO unromantic because its such a cliché. If a guy wants to buy me flowers I want him to know what my favorite flower is and give THOSE to me.

    Sooo I posted this video on facebook, twitter, and maybe I’m gonna write about it on instagram too because EVERY GUY needs to know that.

    Thank you Matt a thousand times!

    x Kathrin

  • unromantic romantic things….took me to the cinema to see new moon but knew nothing about the twilight phenomena,( the next cinema trip we took was to see one he picked), showed up at my door with various medicines and junk food when I said I had the flu, treating me like a princess on his birthday, I think a lot of things are romantic, if theyre done with the right mindset and I try to see the intention instead of the end result.

      1. like i said on fb, hun….i have no problems getting a guy or getting proposed to. it’s finding the right guy for me instead of settling for what comes my way that i have trouble with. looking forward to getting the boxset and the webinars! x

  • That makes me feel sad I’m afraid, from the list, my boyfriend only makes tea , – and got me a new toilet seat for Xmas – True I asked for a special one (as he can’t think of anything) but I can’t help feeling that a few chocs wouldn’t have gone amiss too. Still wondering how serious he is about me.

    1. Hi Helen,

      It’s not that he doesn’t care, he may just not know. If he knows how to make your tea and got you what you wanted for Christmas, he is listening, and in his mind he’s doing what makes you happy. Unfortunately we aren’t mind readers and can be a little thick sometimes haha! But if you make it apparent that x,y & z would make you happy then you may begin to see a change. Link him this video too ; )


  • Hi Matthew,
    I love your videos and I agree with you, but on a subject like this that involves what the guy does, how are we to express these things to our partners? If the person I’m with, lets say, doesn’t do any of these things, how should I approach him about it? Or not? I personally have a hard time communicating what I want in a relationship (a subject you’ve spoken about and helped me with) but when it come to the “romantic” things, it seems superficial to want or ask for. Any insure would be helpful.
    Regards, shay.
    P.s. the end of the video was so funny! And I think you’re lovely.

    1. Hi Shay,

      Thanks for your comment! To approach your man about this, it’s important not to do it in a kind of ‘nagging’ way but rather a way where you have him think it was all his idea in the first place ; ) Ultimately your man wants to make you happy, if you start pointing out specific things (men aren’t great with abstract concepts) that make you happy, i.e. your favorite meal from a certain restaurant, your favorite candy bar when you’re feeling upset, then he’ll know what exactly will turn your day around! : ) Also let him know how much you love it when he actually does something unromantically romantic small gestures that you like. This affirmation lets him know he’s doing something right and he’ll likely do it again ; )


  • The first four can be for him or her. The last three are “for her”. Can we get three more for either him or her?

    The most unromantic romantic thing that was done for me was being given a pint of various types of green olives for no reason. I LOVE green olives and each time I had one, it made me feel special.

    Would love to see a whole clip along the lines of this ending. Laughing is fun.

  • Dating an emotionally challenged man I’ve come to appreciate the very smallest of things. Once he brought me 2 cookies in a plastic bag – doesn’t sound like much probably, but I LOVE chocolate chip cookies and he knew this particular brand I had not yet tasted. It was such a surprise!

    [But since I’m hoping he’ll one day bring a whole pack of cookies instead of just 2, I’ve got my order in for the KTG dvd’s ;) ]

  • Can I just say that the constant sales emails for ‘Keep the Guy’ etc, are so annoying! If it’s selling so well, no need to continuously pester people about it, is there? I don’t want to unsubscribe because of all the great content but you sure make it appealing at times.

    1. The most romantic thing ever was when my boyfriend & I had an Autumn weekend-away in the country. I fell in love with the orange & red berries on the Bittersweet bushes that grew at the side of a country road. He pulled the car over, got clippers out of the back (who carries “clippers” in their emergency tool box?!), and proceeded to clip a beautiful bunch for me to take back to the city. We were engaged that weekend & when we married… had bits of Bittersweet included in my bouquet & in his corsage.

      Though the marriage didn’t last, Bittersweet still serves as a symbol for me to both allow the “space” for men to do small kindnesses….and to always remember the beautiful moments of past romance.

      Love is sometimes bittersweet. Keep the sweet memories, or all you’ll remember is the bitter end. And that’s not the best flavor to be serving-up at the start of the next relationship!

  • I’d have to agree. The most romantic thing a guy can do is make me some tea exactly how I like it. Great list, it comes down to showing the person you care by doing things that matter. The whole candle-lit dinner thing is a nice grand gesture, but people need to move on from gestures.

  • I always used to like it when my boyfriend sang and played the guitar for me. Now this is probably something that is considered romantic in its own right, but something made this time very special. It was a long distance relationship and he had to take the train to see me. He was the type of guy that would never check luggage so when he brought his guitar on the train and showed up to see me, my heart just melted:)

  • Lol all the way around! This one is really good, especially drawing a bath for someone.
    Now, as far as unromantic romantic things done for me, i’d have to say it was me being stuck in a grocery store waiting for the rain to let up when the guy I liked coincidentally came in, asked me what was wrong and took the raincoat off his back to give it to me so I could get to where I needed to be (in this case, the theatre then home). I was so overwhelmed with this wash of appreciation for him! That’s always an awesome go-to for guys if they want extra brownie points.

    Enjoy your family Matt!

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