Imagine how amazing it would feel to have the man of your dreams completely addicted to you…
So that every time he leaves you after a date all he can think is, “I have to see her again”…
I am going to teach you how to make this happen by using “The Bliss Point”…
I’ve got HUGE NEWS coming! Want to be the first to know?
==> CLICK HERE to Sign up for my Early Bird List
My problem with the “bliss point” is that I believe men should be more respectful of women without my having to tell them I don’t want to sleep with them on a first date. So as soon as they ask, I am offended and repulsed by them and I have no problem letting them know that they have offended me and they should learn to treat women with more respect if they ever want to find someone worthy. And if they can’t handle that truth and don’t want to see me again…too bad. Someone has to tell them. So I don’t really understand how the “bliss point” does anything productive except let the guy know his behavior is fine…just not for you. He needs to know the behavior is not fine. Period.
Hi,
I have never liked a guy before and now i am head over heels for one.
The problem is i dont know him and i met him on a rating site “hot or not” so didnt meet him! But i love the way he is, i have him on facebook and he likes the similar things interests as i do. We have similarities and he has not spoken to me or messaged me yet, i am not the type to message guys i never have, this is my first crush.
He has not liked anything either or my posts and i havent either! but we oth rated each other hot so all i know is that he rated me.
Help me?
Hello Sidhra,
How did you happen to friend this man on Social Media? Do you have friends in common?
Please forgive me for asking, and I mean this in the most exploratory way, but How are you head over heels if you haven’t met him, don’t know what he is interested in, or what his values are?
I know that often times, and I am speaking only for myself, I see someone briefly, have a nice conversation with them, and my imagination gets the better of me and I begin fantasizing over the picnics, movies, travel plans, bike rides, etc. that I will have with this person.
In fact, this happened frequently, then I had a delightful conversation with a man, allowed my imagination to run wild, had coffee with him, and this happened right after my divorce, and felt all warm and nice, only to learn that he was gay.
We became platonic friends, but that good old imagination can get the better of me sometime. So, I’ve checked my imagination at the door, got in touch with what I really admired about myself, and asked myself hard questions, like what I really wanted in someone else.
Trust me, my imagination still makes its appearances, but not as frequently. I go on more facts than feelings alone now.
Please keep us posted.
I had 2 dates with this guy I was very attracted to and I was actually trying to figure out what he was looking for as in a relationship and I said I wanted to find that kind of relationship between two people were you just know that you had found the one who you have the desire to stop dating.(I had tears and explained that dating was so different from when we were younger and things were more simple) he said he agreed and wiped my tears. After the date was over and he went home, he texted me and said he had gotten home safe… The next morning when I woke up I replied “wow didn’t realize how late it was last night, I really enjoyed your company!” he replied “yes it was late” I replied “Sorry for the tears, I am much clearer this morning” he replied “don’t fret about it, I guess we are in very different places, we both have alot going on right now.”
I haven’t responded it was last night, the 2nd date. I don’t know how to respond. I am hearing that he is saying goodbye.. Am I right?
I love your advice and I hope you can help me.
Thank you, De’von
I think you are right, I think by saying we are “in very different places” he is distancing himself from your description of what you are looking for in a relationship. I think he is saying goodbye, at least as far as a romantic relationship is concerned. I wish I had better news, (sorry) but that’s my take on it.
Thank you, Marcia, I thought as mucht! The worst thing is he would have slept with me I’d I had allowed. How is it that there seems to be nothing wrong with that? Any who, thanks for replying =)
OMG, I could hear you talk all day! ;) Crush aside, your advice is pretty much always dead on. I find your approach to relationships practical and respectful. I love the no nonsense. You can bet I’ll keep sharing your videos with all the women I know. I believe every woman married or single can benefit from understanding the masculine mind better. Cheers!
Thanks Marta! I’ll keep bringing you the best stuff and you keep sharing it ; ).
Next week is going to be fantastic, be ready! x
Around 40”’ in, looking like a nice watch commercial.
Very insightful comparison to the food industry. Kudos! As an engineer, looking and finding inspiration and insight in any area, and applying it wherever I need is something I often do.
Keep doing a great job, guys!
Great content as always. Sounds like an amazing programme. I’ve been struggling with getting my boyfriend to discuss things, anything at all which my bother or concern me. We’ve been together for 3 years now and I think I approach issues in a caring, non-judgemental way if possible. Anytime I bring up an issue he becomes super defensive, tells me I’m being too sensitive, it’s my problem not his and that the conversation is too deep, he’ll then either cut me off and tell me to forget about it or send me home like a child :(! I love him but find it so difficult to communicate effectively with him. Any tips please? :)
Tips coming! I’ve put a huge amount of work into exactly what you are talking about. The good news is you are asking the right questions. I’m excited for you for next week.
M x
Dear Matthew,
Thank you for the you tube short videos. I am from the poor part of the EU, I will, probably, never have the money to pay for your book or any other program but I am happy to get the free videos. It is helping a lot in shaping the right attitude, the right mind set.
You’re welcome Felicia! I’m just happy you’re here : ) x
Waw, all this is so amazing! I wish this had come a little early. I went on a date with a guy a couple weeks ago, we had such a great time and found so many things in common, but afterwards he invited me to go to his place for a a movie. I didn’t necessary wanted to go since it was getting late. After watching this video, I feel like it would have been the perfect moment to communicate my standards, but I did go with him anyway and it was still fun, in fact the movie was great, but nothing much happened after that. We kept in touch, but didn’t have anything planned since then, and it has been a month probably.
He just recently reached out to me, wanting to see me again. He suggested coming to my place at this time to watch a movie or something. My question: Is there any way I can suggest something else more exciting to do instead of a movie night at my place in a way of communicating my standards? Movie night would be awesome, but probably not the best at this fase. Thanks!
So he barely even knows you, and his idea of a date is watching a movie at his place or your place?
Sorry, but he sees you as a booty call. This is what guys do when they don’t want to take you out, but are trying to sleep with you.
Maybe you can say, “I’d love to, but I will be hanging out at xyz. You are free to join me ;)
Is this salty and sweet enough ,Mathew? .) .)
Hi Phebe,
Thanks for your feedback, I appreciate that. I also agree that his attitudes are showing little interest, due the fact that he is not even willing to spend money on an actual date, that just shows how cheap he is. He texted me this week wanting to see if I was still up for the movie, and i ended up suggesting my preference in doing something outdoor instead. He was cool with it, but then he had to cancel since it is Fathers Day on the day we had planned and he feels the need of been with his family…which i totally understand, but my question his how should i face all of this? Thanks
This is such great news! Whenever I need a quick refresher/pep talk before heading to a social event, I always run through the phrases and body language tips I’ve learned from your program. You’re right, that’s the juice. The stuff that really matters in the moment. The psychology behind it all is incredibly insightful, but in the moment I rarely remember any of that stuff. Looking forward to it!
Great video and content, Matthew! If anyone of us have a love question/theme that we would love to pick your brain on, where can we send that to?
1477? …the year the Duchess of Burgundy began her reign over the Low Countries? …the address of…no, I give up.
I really like the initial point about how you need to know what your standards *are* before you can communicate them. For a long time I think I really didn’t know what my standards were. I mean, yes, in terms of whether to let a guy come home with me or not, but no in terms of what came later–how much I would put up with being let down or stood up or shut out or generally used. I took a looong time to learn that.
Probably I was thinking that I was patient and tenacious, and that I would put up with whatever they threw at me if that’s how they needed to be, and we would eventually work it out, as long as they liked me and wanted me. But, of course, they didn’t–at least not enough, or not in the way they had initially. There are many reasons for the way things went in these cases, but definitely one of them has been that a guy who responds well in the beginning to the salty-and-sweet thing (which I didn’t realize that’s what I was doing, but the way you explain it I guess I was) doesn’t necessarily want any more than that.
You *can* have that thrilling I-want-more moment…and then *get* more, and get full, and get sick of the thing you wanted so much at first. Reeling them in doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll like being in (or that you’ll want them once they’re there); sometimes it’s just the reeling that was the fun part (Poetic sigh).
But yeah, standards. Good things to have. And I like the way you break down the Bliss Point into a diplomatic-while-sexy thing.
Emily makes good points here. Your stuff does work–to a point. I enjoy your programs. I got a guy through them and I’m great at communicating standards while still communicating desire.
But there is a point where some me just won’t meet your standards, no matter how well you’ve communicated them. He might even say how well you’ve communicated it! And he’s appreciative of your communication skills. But it still might not get the results you want.
Do the scripts discuss how much time to wait for a guy to meet your standards?
Hi, I guess I am wondering when enough is really enough. When do you say, “okay, this has been nice, but I was hoping for A, B, and C, and since that is not happening, it’s time for me to move on”
It’s a good question and I have a feeling in some ways its a very unique and individual question.
What is your time worth in life and is the man elevating you or are you wasting time? I ask myself this quite frequently. For me, I am building my life in different areas, learning a new language, getting involved in a new exercise program and joining different groups for my interests.
My “love interest” contacts me nearly every day to meet for lunch, walks, etc. but still, I am not getting what I really want, so I put him off, and I find he only wants to see me more.
What are Matthews views on this?
Hi, Matt, thank you very much for all you do and say about dating men – I would have never imagined that some of these moves/lines/behaviours can be rationalized like this and so successfully, I can say! I still cannot believe that you are so young but sound like a love magi!:-) This video about setting the standards is quite a hit, I wish I’d seen it 2 months ago, when I acted like the second example, passive and boring and no wonder the guy lost any respect and interest…But I can’t stop wondering why it should be like that…why when you are nice and sweet and just want to be with a nice guy without a script and staged behaviour, it all goes down the drain?:-(
Thanks AGAIN for all the insight – it is worth it, for what I see…
Hey Linda!
It’s about knowing how to communicate that you are not JUST nice and sweet. It’s fine to be those things, but there has to be more to you to create real desire and long term attraction. What I show you in my scripts is how to communicate every part of you. And let’s not forget that many people are overly nice and sweet because they are scared of creating confrontation. The great thing about this new programme is that it shows you how to retain your sweetness whilst also getting your standards met!
M x
Hi Matthew,
After watching this video, I’m gonna be honest …I just breathed a huge sigh of relief and said ‘Finally!’
There was a situation where I felt disrespected by a guy and I was too scared to ‘rock the boat’ and I just remembered staring at my mobile phone not knowing what to say.
I was paralysed.
I knew I wasn’t happy but I didn’t wanna be a drama queen either. I also didn’t want to push a guy away.
So I became the ‘that’s OK!’ Girl.
I don’t want to be the ‘that’s OK!’ Girl anymore.
I loved the Get the Guy book.
I loved the London O2 Event (particularly the wee ‘Pocket Hussey’ book we got at the end! Because it had things to say in it! Lol)
I just wanted to say THANK YOU for doing this!
I’m looking forward to the retreat in San Diego too.Because I don’t want to be the ‘that’s OK! Girl in other areas of my life either ;)
Thank you to you and your wonderful team
Lynn xxx
Thanks so much Lynn! I’m so excited you’ve been participating in our content in all of these different ways. The scripts I’m releasing this week in our new programme are going to blow you away. x
That was genius, Matt! .)
I love how analytical you are, and your eye for detail. Other dating coaches hold back a lot , because they don’t want to “betray” their gender…
I always found people that are “walking-talking contradictions” to be very attractive- ( smart and challenging, yet sexy and fun aka “salty and Sweet”).
.)
“Walking-talking contradictions” – YES Phoebe. Another way of thinking about this is people who are hard to predict because they defy the norms. These people are rare to us and therefore attractive.
x
Matthew, OMG, you are so right! I thought that I’ve said the same thing in the past, in one case the guy was “hooked” and in another case he lost interest. It was all in what I said, and the way I said it when I “turned him down”.
Guy 1 I said, “Wow, I’m sure I’d really like that, I bet you would rock my world, but I’m just not that kind of girl, I’d like to get to know you better first” he asked if he could call me, I said yes and gave him my number and he called the next morning. Guy 2 I said “I’m really not that kind of girl” and told him to call me, but he never did.
Thanks for giving your example of how it worked for you Sherry! Using the right language with people really does make a huge difference.
Matthew x
Very excited for you Matt. You’re awesome!!
Thanks Kathryn! I can’t wait for you to get the scripts this week! I’ve worked so hard on them. x
I met a guy for a coffee and we got on well together at the end he asked if I was doing anything later, and I said I wasn’t. He invited me back to his which was within walking distance to watch a DVD. I agreed but at the same time made it clear that was all I was going back for ie to watch the DVD. He text me the next day and appreciated that I trusted him enough to go back to his place.
Wow Matthew! As someone who purchased the impact program and your book and a avid watcher of all your vids and listener of your radio- all your advise has been very effective for me and I can’t imagine your material getting much better (it’s already excellent) but this sounds insanely exciting!! Can’t wait! I like fluff by the way. I think it can get you thinking. But juice sounds even better! Looking forward to your new program!! :) You’re the best!!
Excellent job! Love that your mind keeps bringing new brilliant ideas! It never hurts your easy on the eyes and ears either! Congratulations on your new program. It’s inevitably going to be succesful. Big happy clap belly bump for you!
Thanks Natasha! x
Matthew, You have amazing, practical and wonderful insight and advice. Thank you.
I’m seated here as a woman in a relationship with a man and I should have taken this slower. I should have shared my real feelings exactly in this manner.
I’m now in the relationship for several years, going back and forth. I’m not looking for marriage as it’s a complicated situation, but I need to be more of a priority in this mans life.
I want to be treated nicer. Not like a day time date or lover.
How do I back track Now, after years of travel, meals, etc.
I would like to continue our travels, have him be more giving both in and out of the bedroom.
Again, I do not want a commitment from this man, but I do want him to be more invested.
What do I do? Is this a wash since I have done 90% of the opposite of what you have shared.
Thank you again quite sincerely for your candid advice.