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How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time

Knowledge is one of the most attractive things we can have.

Sometimes knowledge comes in the form of what we know, other times in the form of things we can do and skills we have.

We live in a world where it’s become more necessary than ever to have eclectic knowledge and diverse skillsets.

Men are running out of ways to feel special

It’s not enough that we make money or have status, because women today already have these things.

We have to work a little harder to be interesting

We cannot afford NOT to be a Renaissance man or woman with a variety of skillsets, art forms and knowledge bases.

Knowledge and skill is a good look on anyone – as is curiosity which inevitably leads us to these things.

And attraction is sustained for longer periods of time when you’re able to keep surprising your partner.

Challenge:

Go and learn about or study something that you have no real need for. Just do something new.

When you’ve decided, leave a comment about the thing you’ve picked. Then come back and leave another at the end of the week to let me know how you’ve gotten on! Do you feel more interesting? Do you have a story because of it?

Be sure to let me know as you’ll be giving me ideas for what I can go on to do next myself!

Want a proven blueprint for meeting great guys while involved in group activities and taking improving classes? Check out my online program The Man Myth to get inside the male mind, chance your ‘filter’ for creating opportunity, and start meeting more men than ever before.

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564 Replies to “How To Be Sexier And Smarter At The Same Time”

  • Hello Matthew,

    After being with my ex of 20 years, I found him engaged on FB while we were still “together.” He didn’t marry her. However, he married another after three weeks of dating. I’m finally done beating myself up……Now, I find myself single. I’ve never been on an “old fashioned” formal date in my life. I can’t get enough of your videos. Thank you for opening my mind up. Cheers.

    1. Found a quote that simply encourages me to let go:
      I gotta stop giving CpR to dead situations.
      And another:
      Eventually, your kingdom will fall
      When you find that your discarded pawn
      Was the Queen all along…
      And my final favorite:
      I am still a bit pissed that I can’t fly
      Or set things on fire with my mind

      Oh, well. sigh. no harm, no foul.
      The next man I take will not be a fool like you.

      1. Sorry, the fool I refer to in the last line is my now deceased ex who left me for a woman of greater wealth, younger but looks substantially older, and I think she bored him to death. LOLOLOL. Sorry if that strikes anyone as inappropriate but she recently called looking to replace the significant amount of money he ran through when with her. I think he loved me enough to spare me an economic expense but I miss him so much and am rather angry he was willing to die with her present instead of me. Still so much to process, I ask you to forgive me if I seem crass.

  • This is so refreshing compared to when I was in my first mate finding years. At that time, I was encouraged to hide my intelligence, my tech and mech abilities, and only socialize with mundane superficial crap I am so grateful to see you encouraging women to accept, normalize, and express their curiosities about the world. Thank you for encouraging men to be challenged by a woman’s knowledge instead of threatened by it. You cannot imagine how many men simply rudely walked away when I started asking questions about the nature of Jupiter or how the eye works or how a saline extraction device separates water and salt so that we have some potable, if not tasty, water.

  • It is so great to have such a natural understanding of women emanating from a man who can deliver patriarchal advice in such a wonderfully comfortable style. I think you should be recognized for an ability to advise women about how to approach the patriarchal access system. I used only one little clue to catch attention via text, and it was quite by accident as I played with my cat when we were homebound by the season’s first snow. The cat stepped on my phone sending a couple of ?s to a man I had not thanked for hosting a dinner. Before I could text a message about how we had not spent enough time together and I wanted to get together, he texted me about the curious question marks. You were right. I will test other ideas and let you know if it works for the special population I belong to (over 60)and if there is a variance among men of my age….I don’t know any women my “age” that want to check this out, so my data may be outlying because I am such a young old person.
    Thank you so much for giving me something useful, and exciting, as well as educational to do!

  • Recently, I’ve been introduced to your youtube channel by searching particular words like: love, relationships, or dating advice. To be honest, I had just been through a horrible relationship, so I would like to prevent that to happen again. As I expected, your videos didn’t disappoint me, and I even learned more than I have expected. The one advice I need most is to “set up my standards”, and after weeks of following your advice, I started to attract the right guys instead of playboys.
    Today, I clicked on this video to see how could sexy and smart exist in the same time, and I finally understood what I’m pursuing my entire life (although I’m still in my twenties :) ).
    At last, I’m from Taiwan, and you surprised me by saying my native language. Thank you for what you’ve done. My life have gotten to another level because of your videos.

  • Hay Matthew! Awesome Chinese :) By the way what did you say? because you might be saying something…unprecedented… My Chinese friends must help me.

  • Hi Matt, thanks for the great insights. Your thoughts are beyond man/woman relationship. It actually touches upon the human being’s behavior and the dynamics of interactions. I started watching your video just to learn some practical tips about relationship but I am learning way more than I expected! You are definitely different from other youtubers so called “relationship coaches”. Speaking of learning new things, I agree with you that people are really attracted to people who bring new information or show her/his uniqueness. I am Asian but spent most my adulthood in the US and am currently working in Africa. Before, I didn’t think I am interesting enough (in a positive way) to get someone’s attention. But many guys are actually very impressed by the fact that I am living in Africa. (though it doesn’t mean they are attracted to me lol). At least they think I am different from other ladies they have met before. What I am saying is that uniqueness is definitely a big factor that helps get his/her attention!! Well, I am leaving Africa soon, so I am looking for what else I can surprise people with!! :) Wish me luck!

  • I just learned how to use Scrivener yesterday to write my thesis and realised writing a chapter is not so scary after all ;-)

    The core concept of Scrivener is taking a big document and breaking it into manageable chunks–works.

    Thats how i’d like to think about MH retreat program is. I’ve never been to one. Living half way across the world seem impossible for me to experience this life changing program (according to what i read from the comments on youtube).

    Indeed Matt, learning somethung new does make life more interesting. Even just a new way of making a cup of tea (which i just learned last week too. Now i feel like i’m tea enthusiast ;-)).

    Can’t wait for more to come from Matthew Hussey!! I want to change and manage my life better! That is what i hope to gain from the At Home retreat program

    Cheers
    Diana
    Canberra, Australia

  • Is that Mandarin / Chinese? Anyways, I’m learning to belly dance via workouts and I want to learn that 20% of French that I’ve been wanting to learn. Thanks for the inspiration!.

  • Hello Mathew,

    I listen to you religiously and absolutely love youe advice. I have tried on multiple occasions to get your 9 texts free even the 5 text on and have been unsuccessful every time. Thank you for being the amazing person that you are and allowing us women to have a better understanding of the infastructure of the male mind.
    Cheers,
    Victoria

  • So I did some research on the guy I like and turns out his nanna use to make him his fav meal (Currie sousages) so I picked a video on how to make it and added a few of my own things so this week I went to his house and just dropped in and casually gave him some I had packed away and said ” hey I happen to make my specialty thought you would love it” so in my opinion it worked like a charme :)

  • Hello,

    I am new to this how ever I have been watching your video. I find that the video are very insightful and helpful in particular in the area of my confidence. Thank you for the advice you are giving and keep the ideas coming as there are very motivating to myself and others.

    Nina

  • You inspired me to start learning Swedish. My cousin is actually married to a swede and as a future doctor I actually see it as a possible career destination. Also dabbling in the history of China because I remember being awed by the terracotta warriors when a few visited London a few years ago.

  • Hey Mat, I wanted to ask you, do you find difficult to find a girl that you are attracted to,because since you know all these things and know how a persons psychology functions, it must be really hard to like someone especially to establish a long term relationship,because you already know all those”tricks” haha

  • HI Matthew ! Maybe you can help me out. I’m texting with this guy for a Long time back and forth but most of the time I’m texting first. He asked me once out but we shift for another time and didn’t see each other. He is polite, sweet and write Long text Messages back to me. But I want him to ask me out because I feel I’m the only one who keeps the contact and some affort. It`s like he isn’t interested

  • Hi!

    I took up ballroom dancing and bachata/salsa awhile back for this reason. It has been one of the best things I’ve done! I’ve made so many more friends and opened myself up to amazing new experiences and conversations. As an added bonus, it is great exercise.

    This video has motivated me to keep doing things like this. Next, I plan to focus on learning some basic/conversational Polish.

    Thanks!

  • Hi Matt,

    I want to ask you something that I think I may do wrong. When I start to talk with a guy we ALWAYS talk about what he studied and what I am studying but, when I say what I am studying,it seems like they feel intimidated. I don’t know why this happen if that is a regular question with a regular answer but they tread me different (not in a good way)since that moment. I don’t know what to do

  • Hi Matt

    Awesome video , I recently started to listen to your videos. Recently went through a divorce and he left me to take care of our dog at 1st I looked at it as a burden but it has helped me meet new people and even has given me strength to get out more. Your videos are helping me learn to put myself out there instead of getting stock thinking about the past. I look forward to learning more.

  • Hi Matthew,
    I am not usually the type to comment on blogs or videos, but I have been binge watching you for the past week or two. I have been out of work due to illness and you brought some joy to my days!

    After seeing so much of your content, I would love to hear more about where you go to learn in life? Who are the masters that you look up to? What are your favorite books? Podcasts? Movies? Anything.

    I was told a long time ago that if you find someone who inspires you, figure out who inspired them, and who inspired that person before them. It will unlock a wealth of knowledge and history.

    I think a lot of your viewers would love this sort of “resource guide” to have a place to start when looking to explore new things.

    Thanks for all of your thoughtful, intriguing, and humorous content. You’ve made the last two weeks a whole lot more fun.

  • I was wondering if I could ask you a question about sex. I need your opinion on something. My boyfriend is more sexually experienced than me. I haven’t had any experience with vaginal sex. I’ve only recently experimented with oral sex. I had close sexual encounters with other guys in the past, who attempted unsuccessfully to take sexual advantage of me at ages 16 and 21, and my boyfriend now knows this about me. I am feeling awkward, confused, insecure, and sexually inadequate. How do I deal with feeling more sexually inexperienced than my boyfriend? How do I deal with feeling that I have to meet my boyfriend’s sexual standards? I am also confused about if he has any sexual standards and what they are. Do I have to meet his expectations?

    1. Hi Laura, Matt was recently asked this question in one of his live coaching sessions. Here’s what he said: “What’s most important isn’t experience, but being open-minded and an attentive listener. Paying attention, understanding and learning what you and your partner like are much better predictors of sexual satisfaction and make you far more attractive in the long term than your past experience.” I hope this helps! -Mars

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