The whole Miley Cyrus phenomenon has been on a lot of people’s lips recently. I generally don’t use my platform to talk about celebrities, firstly because I don’t like to judge people whose lives I know nothing about, and secondly because I don’t much care what they are up to.
I did however watch the VMAs along with a lot of other people, and found the whole performance somewhat uncomfortable. It’s hard to express exactly why without some serious reflection.
I believe in empowering women and showing them what beautiful people they are. I believe respecting women to be of the utmost importance, secondary only to a woman’s own self-respect.
So I was left a little conflicted with the Miley thing. A lot of people are judging her right now. She’s entitled to go through phases, just like any of us have. In a perfect world she’d be entitled to go through these phases without the judgement of millions of fans and non fans. Unfortunately (and fortunately for her income), she has millions of fans and non fans ready to judge her.
The truth is, I do not care what the world thinks of what she’s doing. Nor do I much care about what the general population thinks about anything. We all have to be smart enough to look at a situation objectively without the rants of the mindless controlling every aspect of our thought. The temptation to parrot the demagogic ramblings of the gross tabloids and magazines is always there.
But I’m reluctant to go down the righteous route of “she’s a role model so she should do better”. She’s not some elected politician who has a responsibility to their electorate. She’s a singer. She makes lot’s of money selling records, amongst other things. I will admit to finding the concept of lots of teenage girls emulating this ‘phase’ disturbing, but whether that really is her responsibility is another matter. God forbid we ever be in a position where every move we make is judged on how great an example it presents to millions of others; an impossible standard to live up to to say the least.
Although I don’t think ‘Miley news’ or any sort of celebrity news is ever really interesting or of any consequence, yesterday something did catch my attention: an open letter from Sinead O’Connor to Miley Cyrus.
Since I cannot talk from any personal experience of the music industry, nor of being a 20 year old woman, this letter contained a lot more credibility than I have on both counts.
After allegedly claiming that her Wrecking Ball video was inspired by O’Connor’s Nothing Compares 2U, Sinead expressed her concern for Miley not only as an artist but as a woman.
This letter sums up the ‘High Value’ way to look at this situation more authoritatively than I could. It’s long, but it’s worth the read I assure you.
After you’ve read it, let me know what you think. I’d love to hear your opinions on the matter (I would love it if the comments weren’t about Miley Cyrus, but about the situation itself. There’s enough judgement on her as an individual without us having to add to the pile. I think it’s much more positive to keep it constructive and look at it as something to take personal learnings from).
Dear Miley,
I wasn’t going to write this letter, but today i’ve been dodging phone calls from various newspapers who wished me to remark upon your having said in Rolling Stone your Wrecking Ball video was designed to be similar to the one for Nothing Compares … So this is what I need to say … And it is said in the spirit of motherliness and with love.
I am extremely concerned for you that those around you have led you to believe, or encouraged you in your own belief, that it is in any way ‘cool’ to be naked and licking sledgehammers in your videos. It is in fact the case that you will obscure your talent by allowing yourself to be pimped, whether its the music business or yourself doing the pimping.
Nothing but harm will come in the long run, from allowing yourself to be exploited, and it is absolutely NOT in ANY way an empowerment of yourself or any other young women, for you to send across the message that you are to be valued (even by you) more for your sexual appeal than your obvious talent.
I am happy to hear I am somewhat of a role model for you and I hope that because of that you will pay close attention to what I am telling you.The music business doesn’t give a shit about you, or any of us. They will prostitute you for all you are worth, and cleverly make you think its what YOU wanted … and when you end up in rehab as a result of being prostituted, ‘they’ will be sunning themselves on their yachts in Antigua, which they bought by selling your body and you will find yourself very alone.
None of the men ogling you give a shit about you either, do not be fooled. Many’s the woman mistook lust for love. If they want you sexually that doesn’t mean they give a fuck about you. All the more true when you unwittingly give the impression you don’t give much of a fuck about yourself. And when you employ people who give the impression they don’t give much of a fuck about you either. No one who cares about you could support your being pimped … and that includes you yourself.
Yes, I’m suggesting you don’t care for yourself. That has to change. You ought be protected as a precious young lady by anyone in your employ and anyone around you, including you. This is a dangerous world. We don’t encourage our daughters to walk around naked in it because it makes them prey for animals and less than animals, a distressing majority of whom work in the music industry and it’s associated media.
You are worth more than your body or your sexual appeal. The world of showbiz doesn’t see things that way, they like things to be seen the other way, whether they are magazines who want you on their cover, or whatever … Don’t be under any illusions … ALL of them want you because they’re making money off your youth and your beauty … which they could not do except for the fact your youth makes you blind to the evils of show business. If you have an innocent heart you can’t recognise those who do not.
I repeat, you have enough talent that you don’t need to let the music business make a prostitute of you. You shouldn’t let them make a fool of you either. Don’t think for a moment that any of them give a flying fuck about you. They’re there for the money… we’re there for the music. It has always been that way and it will always be that way. The sooner a young lady gets to know that, the sooner she can be REALLY in control.
You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age … which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.
Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question … I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.
As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image … whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now … Not because you got naked but because you make great records.
Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted … its so not cool Miley … its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. We aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers … that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.
As posted on www.sineadoconnor.com
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Remember to leave a comment. What are your thoughts on the situation?
I read this letter when it first came out and I could not agree more with what was said. I also watched Miley’s show on MTV and understood where she is coming from as well. She was told for so long how to dress, how to act, how to eat. She basically exploded. I relate to this because I did the same thing at her age but now that I am 10 years older I see what Sinead is saying and I 100% regret acting that way because I was not being true to myself and was letting people treat me in a way that was not respectful to myself. At the time I thought I was being a rebel and felt like I needed to prove something to everyone but only ended up hurting myself and later realizing that nobody cared what I was doing.
Right. That’s it! Everyone shave your hair off and wear long skirts and doc martens.
Yep! (Like this comment!!)
Hi Matthew and all lovely ladies on this blog,
To be completely honest, until I got my weekly gtg e-mail today, I knew nothing about any of this. Mostly, because I’m not interested in celebrities, gossip etc. but most importantly because I couldn’t care shit anyway.
However, being of a curious nature, I googled Miley Cyrus, had a quick read and it seems that she is not a bit grateful for Sinead O’Conner’s help and care. Sinead took the time to try to help and talk sense into Miley, but clearly Miley is a spoilt, ignorant brat, and sadly, may have to learn the hard way. But whatever happens, I probably won’t know anyway, because I’m not interested.
Have a great day everyone,
Angela x
Yes! A message for the human being, on human beings! Thank you, thank you!
GREAT LETTER! :) really, says exactly what she need to listen…and its funny…that when i first saw the video of wrecking ball i thought…why is she licking the hammer? WHAT?!?!?….and i was like, she really can sing…the music is good…but then…why this video? O_O
On a more serious note: I was thinking when I saw a pic of Sinead why didn’t you ever grow your hair, woman? She’s gorgeous. She’s saying all this stuff about woman being beaitiful, but she’s a bit manly. I shaved my hair off once out of pure rebellion… Like 16 years ago, so I don’t judge, but Sinead you could have been a real beauty with long hair. Love your quirkiness and stance anyway :)
I feel that the key message in this letter is the following: “respect yourself and others will respect you”. Any “high value woman” (though I don’t really like this concept either) should acknowledge that her existence, her presence to the world as a “being”, as such, is enough, and that the rest is mere noise, distraction. It’s the only way to be consistent with who you really are.
Don’t let that noise distract you or others from who you really are. Acknowledging your existence as a person will help you keep the demons and the bad people at bay.
And who could forget… Sinead burnt a picture of the pope once. A lot of stars do dumb things and a lot of normal people like you and I do dumb things. Goodnight ladies! Thanks for the respect Matt – you’re doing a lovely job by making is ladies remember what were about.
“The Roman Catholic Church has been rocked by a steady stream of priests charged in child sex abuse cases internationally, something O’Connor has repeatedly spoken out on in the past dating back to her infamous “Saturday Night Live” performance in 1992 when she ripped up a photo of the late Pope John Paul II and said “fight the real enemy” in reference to child abuse. In 2010 Pope Benedict XVI issued an apology to the victims of sex abuses over the decades.” – Huffingtonpost
I don’t know how to justify Miley though. As for any of my stupidity, I assure I don’t flaunt it on worldwide TV. I don’t make allowances for myself, I admitted I was wrong that it was indeed stupid, not something to be proud of, never a highlight of my life and I never disrespected my Mother because of it.
I am neutral to not impressed by Miley Cyrus’s recent antics. But I do resent that Robin Thicke, her co-performer, is not being called out more for the massive misogyny of his Blurred Lines video, particularly the original one where he and his buddies were ogling naked women. Even my cynical self was shocked how blatantly pornographic it was. Compared to the behavior of the women on the video, Miley comes across as someone reappropriating her sexuality. Of course it doesn’t come across that way on the clips but let us begin by slamming Thicke’s utter calousness. Such a pity as Blurred Lines is musically one of the freshest and most original songs to come along in a long time. It didn’t need to be sold on the naked backs of women.
The last paragraph nailed it. Not only artists are role models, but all of us can be role models for anybody else. I live in this world thinking – How am I gonna impact others? Because this is what gives my life a huge sense – the feeling I touched sb, that I had impact and sb got inspired by me. There is no way to be a good role model if ain’t high value women. Cheers!
Whoa. I’m glad she said it. And in a very non-judgemental way. I totally agree and I hope Miley listens, more for herself than anyone else, including those who look up to her. Its so sad to see young women go the way of rehab and self-destruction and I absolutely hope the best for Miley and that she does not fall to the bottom as we have so often seen young female stars do in the pages of magazines.
Last word: I kind of thought good for Miley. She was going through a rotten time with her boyfriend, and she needed to break out of a mould. I think that no one will forget her performance, and that kind of makes her stand out. Her tongue sticking out thing was kind of 50’s on rollerskates which doesn’t fit in with this century, let alone Miley’s shaved head. I’m waiting with anticipation to see how she’ll build her career going forward. Go Miley!
Hi Matt,
I very much respect and whole heartedly agree with Sinead’s comments.
I never pay attention to celebrity gossip or have any care for the sex obsessed music industry.
It makes me sad that it’s in this state in the first place. I wonder why there’s such a market for devaluing women.
It makes me sad how so many people judge this little girl instead of looking to the source. There’s far too much objectification of women I feel.
Then other women who choose to act this way are shot down when they’re a product of the problem.
I guess people need to value one another rather than look at someone as an object. Men seem to get away with exploiting women like this in their music videos but yet Miley and co seem to receive all the judgement. It just feels wrong.
Thanks
Good thoughts, Elaine. I’ve come to realize it’s probably the sexual revolution that did this to our culture. Now women are hardly protected at all anymore, and we are naive about the fact that *lust* is such a force in men’s lives. It’s reached the point where pornography is considered normal, and women have to compete with it… so a lot of men have trouble understanding why some women (who retain their self-respect) would not behave like porn stars!
That’s probably why women are judged more harshly. It’s backwards, but people who know how some men operate on lust can be disgusted when women fail to run away, but instead leap into the lion’s den – especially to further a career. It’s tough to see any woman devalue herself like that.
I remember listening to Sinead O’Connor’s album ‘Universal Mother’ when u was 10 and one ding that stuck with me was the one about a woman’s womb not being a football for you. That relates to this letter and Miley Cirus. I think that before men view woman in a different way, woman have to start respecting themselves for themselves first and support each other before men rill start living and respecting woman. Sadly, this attitude is shouting out to men it’s ok for us to be your ‘bitch’. It’s ok for you to use me. Then you blame men for ogling and perving..something is not quite right. It’s not cool or empowering. If you want to be in control, cover up. Dare to conform. That is courageous, being naked unless it’s for yourself or your partner is boring.
Sinead is a truly great woman. I loved her letter. Its message is very important. What Miley is going through, what the industry is going through and what is going on in the society right now.
I am very alergic to anything that comodify the female body. I wasnt before because it was so normal to me, but little by little I realized just how sick it is.
My ex used to tell me to dress more sexy, to show more skin. And I wasn’t comfortable with that, I made resistance. And he made me feel bad about it, saying I was uncomfortable in my body, that I needed to be released. Ive always been shy. But he never really got it. It was far more complex for me, it was about values. I dont want to be percieved as a peice of meat. I dont want that kind of male attention. I mean, I dont cover myself up in tents. I wear tight stuff. Im not afraid. Its a choice. I want to be respected as a human being, valued for my mind and heart. Not my body, not my sexappeal. Its sad that he had to have that point of view, that the society teaches us that women are valued by their looks.
But its our choice, we women have the choice in our hand. We can decide how we want to be percieved. We can dress how we want. I dont want to say that nakedness doesnt deserve respect. It does. Because the naked person is still a person. But we can control the reactions. We can control the message we want to give out. And we can respect ourselves and make choices that are best for us and no one else has a say about that.
Thank you Matthew for a very valuable post.
Powerful. The music industry is sending such a dangerous message through Miley, Rihanna, and Brittany etc. It’s that even if you are showered with talent and strength they can/will break you down to a simple flashy sex slave. It’s really sad, and I’m not sure what the reason is (maybe shock value/ maybe $$$$). But it makes woman like myself put too much emphasis on the external dress/ overt sexiness to impress men, and not really working on the inner voice and beautiful self expression.
Hi Matthew,
I thought that letter from Sineade was an incredible act of love from one wise woman to another in need of help. There was a huge amount of wisdom, passion and concern in her words. How brave she is to speak out like that. I hope Miley and her peers listen.
I am a little concerned that Sineade talks quite damningly about men. In their industry I’m sure they are like that. In normal circumstances though I think we need to be a little more open to the possibility that men are not all awful and there are some good ones about.
Interesting post Matt, thanks!
Katherine x
Hi Mathew, I find your website informative and positive. Id be interested in finding out what your opinion is on this letter to sinead from another musician amanda palmer. I agreed with most of what sinead said but something about it made me feel uncomfortable because as well as having respect for yourself as a woman I think its so important have self expression and empowerment. There seems to be a trend on websites and in real life for slut shaming. This worries me as it leads to the whole,’you deserved it because of what you were wearing trend.’ I definately dont agree with the constant sexualisation of women either. How do we find the balance between being a sexual being, freedom of expression and speech and doing being exploited and of less value.Karen,link to letter-http://amandapalmer.net/blog/20131003/
Karen, I’ll look forward to that answer as well, if / when it comes.
The most stunning thing about this article (and the whole hype in general) is how important people actually think Miley Cyrus is… I mean.. she’s a half-baked ex-tweeny-bopper who wants attention because her way-too-good-for-her boyfriend finally grew a brain and dumped her. She is so shockingly average and unremarkable, I just don’t get what all the fuss is about her. I neither dislike her nor adore her, but I do think all this attention being shined on her antics only serves to encourage them. Plus, it doesn’t hurt that she pulls in a fat check every time she’s talked about on TV and in magazines. Hell, I’d probably even let myself go crazy to make an extra couple million too. Why? BECAUSE WHO CARES WHAT PEOPLE THINK. Miley Cyrus is probably sitting up somewhere smoking weed and thinking how great it is that she’s capitalizing on the unsavory American culture that supports and valorizes idiotic and wanton behavior. Anyways, long story short, I’m just tired of hearing about her already. Can the world move on to more pressing issues???
As for this woman who wrote her this letter–I think her heart is in the right place, but ultimately the effect of her action was that she, yet again (like the rest of the world), just gave Miley the attention she so desperately seeks. And I’m 22 and not a parent–but I think the best way to correct a spoiled child is to not pay attention when they act up. Children don’t distinguish between negative and positive attention–attention is just purely attention, and in their minds, that’s mission accomplished.
Anyways. In closing, my heart goes out to Hannah Montana, who I mourn the passing of in the wake of this wrecking ball that is Miley Cyrus.
Agreed totally. Rather than misleading by people who want to make money out her, she knew exactly what she’s doing cause it’s proven to be effective. Britney is still here, Jenet is still here, even Lindsay is still here. If Miley didn’t do it, there’s always someone else. We are surprised because she’s Hannah!
Wow awesome words of wisdom from a lady with experience. Crisp,clear and to the point. Don’t sell yourself out for less than what your worth. If Miley believes that is what she is worth that’s her choice, just seems a bit dissapointing tbh. Who really benifits from all this?