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How To Communicate With Men (Today Show)

In this week’s segment we answer questions on expectations for Valentines, dealing with a husband’s ex, and what to do if you’re not getting chemistry on dates. Enjoy!

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Question Of The Day: What do you have a hard time communicating to guys?

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22 Replies to “How To Communicate With Men (Today Show)”

  • That was quite funny, your approaches were the exact opposite. Not to mention how you’ve always waited for her to finish first before going into the problem from a different perspective (and in depths) – nevermind it being balanced^^

    But great show!

  • Im sure E.G. Does fine on her own advise column. But she is utterly useless on these segments.
    She is fluff and you are substance.
    I am happy just to see you on t.v., but you deserve a more serious platform.
    And this is comming from a girl who uses humor to deflect everything!


  • Brilliant! I don’t know what planet E Jean is on, but she has some vague and wacky ideas about relationships! Thank goodness you’re there to give proper advice, Matt! Keep up the great work :) X

  • For God sake, tell me the women with glasses is not really like that.

    I´m sorry, since she treated us like hookers in the day you were asked if you should let pay the man in a restaurant she dislike me a lot.

  • People value what you say. You don’t need to make her look stupid for you to look good. I enjoy it more when you two tease eachother in a respectful and funny way. Apparently she is good at what she does. And you are good at what you do. You needn’t have to agree with her opinion and vice versa but she clearly values your words. You appeared slightly arrogant I must admit.

  • because of women like this, we´re so confused about relationships….her advice is not practicable and lead us not in satisfied relationships…
    I am so greatfull for you matt!

  • Hi Matthew.
    In response to your question; I have a hard time communicating almost anything to guys that I like. My biggest problems occur when we’re in the beginning of dating. I get excited about the ‘flirt’ and being rather – well sexually implicit – but I know that this is not going to get me a boyfriend. I find it hard to find the middleway where I am not sexual but neither boring. Do you have any advice or suggestions, Matthew?
    – A younger fan from Denmark

  • Well put on all questions. You have a brilliant way of cutting to the chase. And going about things in a way that solves the problem instead of glossing over it!
    As for the questions of the day. I have the most difficult time communicating to a man that while I may find him attractive and have chemistry with them, I would like to get to know them much better before becoming intimate.
    I usually hold back when it comes to kissing etc. for this reason because I don’t want to lead them on either….but I feel like this can come off as stand offish…I would love your impute!

  • You made a good point about a woman not going for the guy she likes and picking the safe option. But . . . I hear so many different things. About staying ‘within your league’ whatever that is. About being realistic. In a way you agreed with E. Jean. That woman isn’t being picky enough! She should be going for the men she likes. And if she doesn’t like enough, she needs to meet more men.

    What do I have problems communicating to a man? It’s hard for me to communicate sexual interest to someone I barely know. Like flirting with strangers. Or even on a first date. I can do it and I’ve come a long way with it, but . . . I don’t always want to do it. It’s not always comfortable, even the mildest flirting. I have learned to fake being comfortable sometimes, though. :-)

    So flirting: should a woman err on too subtle or going overboard? It’s hard to be Goldilocks and find the ‘just right’ of this.

  • Matthew:

    Ok, I’ve been holding back because I don’t like to be hateful or negative, but I can’t take it anymore — E. Jean Carroll’s advice is scary! I know her credentials, however, they need to have someone on the show who is at least your equal intellectually and professionally and who appears to have done some of their own personal work. Every time she opens her mouth, I cringe.


  • Hey matt

    Ive been in a relationship for 4yrs now and we have a beautiful 10month old daughter. My biggest problem with my boyfriend is his lack of communication. When something is wrong or bothering him, he shuts down and goes m.i.a. I have to probe and dig for him to talk. another problem is that I think he is ashamed of me. He never shows me off, no PDA. It feels like im his little secret. How do I get this man to talk and be proud of me??????


  • I’m sorry but I can’t help but wonder where they got the woman relationship advisor to be on this show, I question her competence and how much her ego was getting in the way because your answers were better. Thank God they had you too, and I am a woman! I don’t think you are giving women a bad name, I love that you give it straight! And though I am but a student of this relationship stuff, I can say that your answer to that last woman’s question of how to get her husband/boyfriend to clean was infinitely more insightful and way more helpful, bringing to light the fact that her lack of communication skills is the core problem here. Showing her how to communicate to her husband/boyfriend what she wants would make much more sense. And I loved your response, saying that a pair of rubber gloves isn’t going to solve it. LOL!!! That was awesome! :) You rock!

    1. I agree with you, Annette. The Elle advisor makes me NOT want to buy the magazine, she’s all about fads. What I love about Matt is that he sees the bigger picture. Matt doesn’t underestimate our intelligence – whereas the Elle advisor has no sense of reality and lowers herself to the mentality of a 5 year old. We love you Matt and feel very lucky to be able to receive your wisdom :-) And the way you handle yourself in these shows with so much negativity around is so mature, what a pro! At the end of the day a smart viewer can see through things and I actually prefer being given a challenge, to look introspectively (rather than cover things up with more bubbly, like the Elle advisor suggested, what a weird woman, giving the same advice I read in my grandma’s magazines 30 years ago!)

  • Hi Matthew I got a question. Me and my boyfriend have been together 3 months and we have never had a fight we have had disagreements which when we have we say what our view is and why we feel that way and that’s usually how it ends even then that is not often we usually agree on most things not that we try to. I came from a family where my mom and Dad always had fights. I’m just wondering is it healthy for you not to fight in a relationship and if not what is a healthy way to

  • Whatt i do not understood is actuallly how you’re no longer really a lot more neatly-appreciated than you
    may be now. You are very intelligent. You already know therefore signifiucantly with regards
    to this matter, maade mme in my view imagine it from so many
    varied angles. Itts like women and men don’t
    seem to be fascinated until iit is something to accomplish with Girl gaga!
    Youur own stuffs outstanding. At all times take care of it up!

  • I agree with Matthew, it’s kinda hard not to. Additionally, he did not give me the impression that he’s targeting women or that the fault lies within us. But his insights for the second story led to a curiosity. Why should it be the woman’s responsibility to start communicating about this issue? Yes, I know she’s the one concerned about their situation but why was it that neither one of them brought up this topic of cleaning duties.

  • It is so annoying that they keep interrupting him all the time, this chickens don’t let him finish properly all his ideas by saying absolutely nothing, SO ANNOYING!!! they don’t have any culture at all!

  • You are SO much smarter and more valuable than that relationship therapist…. she infuriates me!

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