In today’s video, I explore the cultural shifts and challenges that are fueling the “relationship recession.” Drawing inspiration from the Netflix series Adolescence, we’ll dive into the disillusionment many men are facing, the frustrations women are experiencing, and the hidden dynamics making connection feel so elusive.
From surprising stats to the subtle mindsets that sabotage us before love even begins, this video connects the dots. If you’ve ever wondered why someone amazing vanished after two dates—or why you might be pulling away yourself—this will explain what’s really going on and how to rise above it to create meaningful relationships. Let me know what you think!
Love that you’re talking about this. I’m a single, successful 52 yr old and would love to be in a great relationship. It’s never been more difficult! I have 2 teenage boys and I want more than anything to help them navigate this cruel reality. I cried almost the entire way through Adolescence.
I just finished Love Life and I’ve already got one friend half way through the book as well. It’s reassuring and affirming and I felt so much better after I finished it – in 2 sittings!
I’m glad I discovered you.
Hello, I noticed that you don’t put the text under the video anymore. Too bad for me, who prefer reading. (sorry for my bad english, I’m french).
Gaëlle
I also miss the transcript below! It makes it much easier to follow for non-native speakers.
After recently being blindsided and still trying to navigate heartbreak I’m not sure I agree with the video. I am 58 and could bump start a new relationship in no time. I want as I’m grieving and need to heal. But confidence is the killer word. I invest in myself, I have great values and I can hold a conversation with anyone about anything. I know I’m loving because I have been so hurt. I think if you can strike up a conversation and you are an interesting fun person, you can attract anyone.
One important point you missed Matthew as to why women want men that are financially secure, especially if they are, is due to laws that entitle partners to up to half their assets/money after living together for 2 years or staying over 3 nights a week for a period of 2 years. When you are older and dating you don’t want to lose what you have worked so hard for and especially when you can’t recoup those losses later in life. I always pay my way and don’t expect a man to support me in any way, but I will not date someone who is not financially secure and has at least as much as me.
I’m a 43 year old single woman, I couldn’t care less about how much money someone makes or what they do for a living. I am choosing to be happily single because I only want to date someone who is truly a great person. A man who is kind, strong, unafraid of feminism and supportive. Unfortunately, I see so many examples of men behaving horribly, lying and cheating on my friends – even the men we would never have expected it from.
It feels like quality men, who are comfortable in their own skin enough to really be an equal, supportive partner emotionally, are scarce.
It’s not that women don’t want to date because of a guys status or money, we just don’t want to date jerks who make our lives worse through physical violence, coercive control, lying, cheating or emotional immaturity.
I have a great life with strong friendships, great family and hobbies I love. If someone amazing comes along, that would be great, if not, I’m staying single.
Yes! I agree with this and its my beliefs too.
‘I have a great life with strong friendships, great family and hobbies I love. If someone amazing comes along, that would be great, if not, I’m staying single.’
I miss the transcripts too. I learn better by reading. Thank you for all the helpful advice and wisdom.
Yes! I agree with this and its my beliefs too.
‘I have a great life with strong friendships, great family and hobbies I love. If someone amazing comes along, that would be great, if not, I’m staying single.’
I think through the approach to strike a balance and appeal to both men and women you didn’t at any point highlight that some of the mysogynistic and violent behaviour coming from the these cultures is deeply concerning and dangerous to women and regardless of rationale not acceptable. Instead you highlighted a superficial example from a woman’s perspective that they expect a guy to pay. There were a lot of great points in here but the absence of this acknowledgement did not serve me well as woman.
I loved this video, many great points. I have 3 sons I worry about with all the pressure. I have a career and have done well financially and it can be a barrier with men I date. I do not usually talk about this with a man, besides what my job title is and a little of what I do, until there have been a few dates, so don’t get me wrong I’m not flaunting it. I don’t need a man for money, and yet on a first date (or first few dates) I don’t want to emasculate him by paying. I do offer to split. I’m not so well off that I can or want to support a man though. Ideally a partner would have similar financial situation so we can do the things we enjoy without one person feeling indebted. Additionally, divorce is harder on the person with more income/assets. I never want to go through that again.
Regarding looks – attraction is important. I do believe attraction can grow with someone I’m not instantly attracted to. Personality is far more important than looks. However, I have been surprised a few times when I’ve dated men I’ve not had an instant attraction to, and gave it a chance to grow vs making a premature decision – and have still been ghosted by them when it seemed to be going well. It’s all very confusing.
Great video. Although I find when dating, as soon as the fella hears I am a female business owner, I get 1 of 2 responses. Either they instantly expect that I will be paying for everything and I become frustrated by their “sponging”, or they feel emasculated and resent me for having the higher income. The only exception is when the guy does actually earn more, which is why that is the preference!!