Top 6 Traits to Look For in a High-Value Man

Women often ask me, “Matt, you give all this great advice for women to be high-value, but how do I tell if HE’S an incredible man worthy of a relationship with ME?”

Ok, I’ll bite.

80% of a happy relationship is choosing the right person in the first place, so this issue couldn’t be more important for women who want to find lasting love.

In this week’s video, I join forces with my brother Stephen Hussey (co-author of Get The Guy) to talk about the 6 SURE SIGNS you’re dating a high value guy, so that you can spot when he’s truly someone worth investing in.

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240 Replies to “Top 6 Traits to Look For in a High-Value Man”

  • The ability to see that you’re worth being with because you’re a quality woman and not walk away because you don’t have a support system ( which means you’re a strong woman because you’re facing things alone), or because you don’t have a lot of money, but to recognize you bring to the table things money can’t buy like, loyalty, support, honesty, etc. That they’re not looking for the perfect woman, if you have eight or nine of the 10 things they’re looking for , missing that last thing means you’re not right for them. They’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. I do believe there’s perfect for me, but no one is perfect. They should love your faults and quirks as much as the best things about you.

  • Even if he treats you like a goddess…
    Observe how he treats others, like a busy waitress who got his order wrong or a person who accidently knocks into him.

    Also a very good giveaway is how he speaks about others from his family to a work colleague to a stranger on the street – with the notion that “what you say about others says so much about you'”
    I’m a psychotherapist and this is a real insight into personal projections (issues).

    Love your work, thanks guys x

    1. Great Point, You Are So Right In That How He Treats You Won’t Mean Much When He’s Such A Dirtbag To Other People.

      Amen, Thanks For Highlighting The “How He Speaks About Other Family Members” Patterns Too, I Think that’s An Awesome Red Flag To Step Back And Stop Investing In Such Poisonous Destructive Trash Too

  • He makes time for you even though he has a busy life. He doesn’t try to change who you are because who you are was what attracted him in the first place

  • A big one for me is a man who, not only isn’t affraid or threatened by my strengths, he also embraces, supports and helps nurture my weaknesses. All so I grow and head towards becoming the best version of me that I can be for myself, him and our relationship.

    1. Very Beautifully Said Jodie, I Agree. We Definitely Don’t Need Anyone Who Feels Threatened By Our Strengths (It’s Hot When Guys Are Secure Enough To Adore Them), And Someone Who Accepts Our Weaknesses And Helps Nurture Them Is SO Awesome Too.

  • A high value man will not leave you sitting alone at a table while he goes out and dances with other women. He should at least make sure you have a dancing partner while he is out dancing. ( Especially if he knows you love to dance.)
    A high value man will not be a “Handsy Guy” with other women if you have told him it bothers you when he does so.

  • He notices my quirks (the way I bite my lip when I am thinking or tap my fingers when I am frustrated). They’re suddenly endearing traits.

    1. Yes That Is Cut Vasiliki! I Love That Too!! It Makes You Feel Warm And Enthusiastically Adored, A Very Wonderful And Precious Feeling

  • I would like to add another trait of a high quality man: he takes responsibility for his part in a conflict or disagreement (as does she). I was in a relationship where when we had an argument, he would let me take full responsibility, then leave to take a walk and come back and pretend like nothing happened. So another trait is that he can engage and work out conflict together with his partner.

  • I just love you guys, integrity is very important to me, I finally found a very nice a genuine Military man and we make a good match together. Thank you for all your hard work and great information you provide to help us understand each other.

    1. That’s Awesome Janice, I’m So Happy For You!! It’s So Cool That You Can Both Enjoy These Videos As A Couple, I Love That About You Guys. It’s An Awesome Way To Understand Each Other Better And Appreciate Those Subtle Gem Qualities, You Are So Right

  • A man who can see you as a friend. To me, this appreciation for your subtler qualities is a sign of wisdom. It means he doesn’t see you just as a garnish to his masculinity. It means he is an evolved thinker. He sees you for YOU. He is secure. He sees how the world appreciates you as well. Mutual respect, intruigue and passion for life become the impetus of the relationship.

    1. I Love That Zoe. How you Elaborated On The “Someone Who Can Appreciate Subtler Qualities About You As A Friend Too, Not Just A Garnish To His Masculinity. Someone Who Sees How The World Appreciates You Too.”


      So Deep And Wonderfully Said, Thank You

  • Definitely true, I would say that those are the qualities that a High Value PERSON should have – a woman as well!
    I also believe that a man should be a gentleman, but not a sterile gentleman: he should be polite and avoid arguing and confrontation (example: with people in a bar) but if someone crosses the line, he should not be afraid to throw a punch and defend his date-DATE I say because ( and here is the second high value trait) a gentleman should have manners no matter whether he is in a company with his girlfriend, wife, just a casual fling… and not change his manners after a while when he “secured” the status of the relationship or got what he wanted. He should BE like that, not ACT like that to just win you over

    1. YES Martina, SO Well Said!! “He Needs To BE Like That, Not ACT Like That To Win You Over”

      So Freakin True. After Guys Have Secured You You Can Tell A Lot Of Their “Chivalrous Manners” Was Just A Fake Ass Unnatural Front Trying To Impress You

      A True High Value Man Has That Rhythm Naturally Blended In His Way

  • He treats the people around him with respect. It’s so sexy when a man is just as kind to the waiter/waitress, janitor, cab driver, check-out person, etc as he is to me and his friends. When I see that a man treats every person with equal kindness and respect, I think he’s a man worth holding onto.

    1. Amen Sarah, Thank You So Much For Sharing. That Matters So Much To Me Too, EQUALITY When It Comes To Respect. Not Selective Insincere Social Climbing Pricks

  • great video! may sound trivial, but my partner opens the door and lets me walk in first when we go out somewhere together. that makes me feel special and shows he has good manners. I also feel it has wider implications about being protected and valued for my company. I offer to do the same when the opportunity allows as I don’t like to be one-sided about things.

  • Matt & Steve – Since you guys like boxing so much, I bet you’d like Bryce Courtney’s books The Power of One and Tandia.

  • Reliability. Can pick up a phone, call when he says he will and keeps/confirms plans if something comes up or reschedules. Not someone who’s flaky.

  • A High-Value Man not only helps you grow into a better versión of yourself, he Also grows with you, But sometimes each person in the couple needs to grow by themselves, so I believe that a High-Value Man lets you do that, and Also asks you to di the same for him, not always a couple can grow together, there are areas that every body needs to work by their own.

    1. YES Dione, Being Able TO Grow Together As Well As Independently, And Bringing Out The Best In Each Other Is So Important.


  • Addition to the list: a man who can express himself during conflict without being hurtful, insulting or destructive.

  • Just recently I found out that I may have a condition that requires surgery and this surgery although could save my life may cause inability to have children. Nothing was for sure but I knew we talked about having kids and that combine with the news of possibly not being able to carry a child, was unbearable.
    When he got home I explained the entire thing calmly and I said I’m not sure what to do … His reply was: “your health is number one priority and if we can’t have kids then we don’t. I love you so much and we will make it work.”
    The fog lifted and weight of my shoulder and now i can decide what to do without worrying and thinking I might lose someone I love. And he prove to me that I am more important than the idea of having kids.
    Putting each other’s health and security first no matter what fantasies we might be losing … Not sure exactly how to put it in one sentence but I’m sure you ll find a better way to describe this man.
    Love your outlook on relationships.

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