What Does It Mean When A Guy Just Wants To Be Friends?

So you’ve found yourself in the dreaded friend zone with a guy you feel attracted to, this is a place where no one wants to be – man or woman. However you don’t need to worry because it doesn’t have to stay like this, but it definitely means something NEEDS to change!

When a guy starts seeing you as a friend, it simply means he isn’t seeing you in a sexual way, than he would otherwise see another woman. Here’s how to get into his mind and give him a reason to start liking you more than just a friend.

1. Stop acting like one of his “guy” friends

This is probably the most common reason for a guy not fancying you when you’re friends, if you’re similar to his mates then chances are he’s not going to feel that spark.

2. Stale mate!

You need to break out of your shell, what’s happening is he’s seeing you as a little boring – maybe even like a sister which is obviously a bad thing. So you need to show him that you’re not boring and you can let your hair down.

So over the upcoming weeks, start changing your old patterns of behaviour slightly here and there. He will notice this and providing you follow the advice above he will start seeing you in a different light.

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22 Replies to “What Does It Mean When A Guy Just Wants To Be Friends?”

  • Hi Matt!

    I love reading all these stories and listening to your video advices…so keep up the good work! ;))

    This really cute guy obviously flirted with me the whole summer during our internship at the same firm. He wrote me messages during work, we went to lunch together, he even brought me homemade creme brulee once. At the end of our internship after the goodbye-party he takes me to my subway station, but nothing happens. I didn’t get the chance to ask him directly, because my subway was already there, so I wrote him a text if this was flirting between us. And his response was “for me it’s just something coy between friends”. ?!
    The next time we saw each other was at the Christmas party (so we didn’t really have any contact for a couple of months), he was my +1 because somehow he didn’t get invited. So we spent the whole night together, laughing, dancing…even during dancing he only had eyes for me. So suddenly he pulls me closer, touches me on my hip and we dance really close. But, you can’t fool around at the Christmas party from work, so nothing happened. He takes me to my nightline station which was the total other direction than where he lives, waits with me for 25min for my nightline…and says “hmm…I don’t even know how I get home from here”…but I thought he better initiates something from himself…so I get into the nightline, he smiles at me and says “if I don’t call you tomorrow, I didn’t find my way home”. But he didn’t call…haha…
    Now we only wrote a couple of messages, but I always started.
    I don’t get it…we have so many things in common, we laugh a lot, we are both funny and entertaining people and I feel so comfortable around him…I just feel like I found my second half. How come he doesn’t see that? He already knows that I’m into him, is that some stupid guy-thing, so he doesn’t have to track me anymore…?! But even a friend would call and say “hi”, wouldn’t he? haha…I don’t get it…

  • Hi Matt! I love the video, it’s kind of saying my situation.
    I’ve been liking this guy for about a month and we were really good friends. He was a year older than me and he was in his last year of secondary school and I was the year below, but that didn’t mind me at all. He said that he respected girls and that they are not toys to be all of a sudden dropped and get bored of.We would meet after school in the library and do coursework/homework and we bonded really well. We would talk to each other on Facebook everyday and for hours and he really liked me and I really liked him and when we were talking on Facebook, he would send really sweet and flirty comments, which didn’t mind me at all, to be honest I felt I was in love.He would say I love you and that made my special and that made me feel that he was the only person I want to be with. Then this week I was talking to my friend and she knows the guy I like and and she knows I like him and she said the that the guy I liked was online and I was quite happy because I could talk to him. I said to her what are you talking about and she said ‘about you and …’and then she said ‘… says that you are only friends and that’s what he just said’. I was really upset and really confused because we got on so well, in some way I felt really hurt that he said that even though he said we are only friends because yes we were friends but I felt that we were more than that.
    The girl that was talking to him, apparently as been talking to him for a bit, which is making me confused, angry, upset and I’m feeling really jealous. I don’t want to confront him because that would just scare him off and lose him more as a friend and I might lose him a friend for good. I just don’t get it! :'(

  • Hi this video really opened my eyes! But i’m having a sort of different problem

    This guy and me have been talking and flirting obviously with eachother for about a year now, he told awhile ago that he liked another girl but she was in a relationship. Although he told me that, he continued to flirt with me and continuously offered to come over. He always complimented me and he’s a very respectful guy. He is going on a mission in a year or so and he told me he wasn’t sure if he wanted a girlfriend right now because he’d be leaving. Anyways, he came over to my house and we had a lot of fun and eventually while we were laying on my bed, he kissed me not once but twice. I was so breathless that I didn’t know what to say. Embarrassingly enough, it was his first kiss. Well it was awkward when I drove him home because no one was saying anything, I wasn’t because I was so speechless. But a couple days later, he sends me a text saying that he thinks I’m beautiful, funny, nice, and smart but he doesn’t want a serious relationship at this point in his life (I never even mentioned one anyways!) He also said that he just wanted to be friends and apologized if he made me think that he wanted to be more than that. So what does this mean? You don’t kiss someone you don’t like! Does he still like me even though he just wants us to be friends? I understand that he’s going on a mission soon and he doesn’t want to jeopardize this but is it because of his mission that he said that or because he really does not like or have any interest in me at all?

    1. well maybe its because of your reaction, you see you two were friends, and when he kissed you and that moment was awkward, maybe he simply doesnt want to lose you as a friend =)

  • I don’t want to say that this is the normal, but sometimes it simply means: “Sorry, you are nice and all that but, I’m really not interested”. I think one should keep that in mind

  • These are genuinely wonderful ideas in on the topic of blogging.

    You have touched some fastidious things here. Any way keep up wrinting.

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  • Superb blog! Do you have any hints for aspiring writers?
    I’m planning to start my own blog soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you suggest starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for
    a paid option? There are so many options out there that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any tips? Cheers!

  • I have this guy at my church that I am attracted to. We have so much in comma are birthdays we the same age. I herd him say to some one that I am his good friend. I see him every weak he always say hi to me one day he bought me a drink I said thanks and wale he walk off he said you welcome and in a way he flirt with me . I he know that I likes him like him. but he told me that he want to have a relationship with GOD right now so what I do????

  • I have never done these type of comments before but I am just curious about this video that I just saw. I had recently got out of a relationship almost 3 months ago. And recently I have started talking with a guy who I added on Facebook and I messaged him and everything. Just started off casual with the conversation and then later he messaged me back to see how I was doing and then gave me his number because I told him that I was not gonna be online and he insisted to continue our conversation. So later he told me that he had recently got out of a relationship too and that at the moment he is not looking for any potential future relationship to get into and that me and him are just friends. Obviously yes because we have only been talking now for about 3 weeks. But I do have an interest in him – yet I noticed a few things when I went to hangout with him he would actually interact with me a lot and also whenever I got a lil frustrated he would start tickling me and he would tell me that he has a lot of fun tickling me. Also, he sometimes sends me a lot of winking faces and he recently told me that I am a very pretty girl. Now call me a drama queen, but I am overreacting? or is this just you know, a potential? I know that I should take it slow because I recently got out of a relationship but I don’t want to be too hasty yet keep that friendship still intact. Get what I mean? And this guy is like, awesome. He’s recreational; does judo and martial arts and he can do yoga. So you know, I don’t want to sound so “love at first sight” but I do have an interest in him. I just don’t want to be too quick and make it so obvious. I just wanna know if this is okay for me to feel this way. Just an opinion that’s all. Thank you.

  • Ahaa, its fastidious conversation on the topic of this piece of writing at this place at this website, I have read all that,
    so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  • This is surprising to me. My experience is that these kinds of things simply don’t change; if he isn’t interested in me that way from the start, he will never be.

    As a matter of fact, you are the first guy that I’ve ever heard say otherwise.

  • Me and a guy have been best friends for 2.5 years.At the start he was so interested in being my bf but I wasn’t and we had alot of arguments. He was inlove with me at some point but i asked for a step back, but we never left each other we have always been best friends. I tried hard to gain his heaet without saying it but it took him a whole year till he tried again and we had fight over how when i ignored him abit i didnot love him or hurt his feeling and me being hasty.Then we turned to be best friends. I love with him now and he knows that it but he refuse to see me more than his best friend and he keep search for a new gf but not considering me although he always say u are the closest person to me and I don’t wabt to lose you and I am sorry for anything but still he doesn’t want to be my bf and it seems that he would go for anyone but me.we are extremely close but of course no hugs or even cheeck kisses anynore he doesn’t do it and he prefer not to talk to me on phone alot as he used to like my voice on phone. Not sure what should I do or understand. Does it mean we are done for ever? And I tried to do all ur amazing advices, it worked with all the other guys and with him yes but he became too attacahed as a friend and it is killing me

  • Hey matt, when do you know if you are friend zone?
    There is a guy i like, he is constantly teasing me and trying to make me run after him, and we disagree a lot, but in a good way. It is 50/50 who comes to who, we know each other throug some hobbies, so i have been on a Camp with him where we were hanging out a lot, together, with friends and alone, were we Got To know each other for Real… Our friends are teasing us with that we are not suppose to sit beside each other or we will get in trouble, and he is allways wery good at make me laugh.
    so i dont know if he is attracted to me or that i am in the friend zone.

  • told him how I feel as I felt he felt the same. said he has too much on and he wants me to just stay the same and not change. his job, his nephews and his sick mum are all his priority at the moment and feels if we get into a relationship and he has to cancel at the last minute that I will get upset. we see each other most days at work and people around us know that he has feelings for me but wont act on them at the moment.what do I do.

  • Do you have any thoughts/advice for women who don’t know how to present themselves sexually, or who are afraid to be sexy?

    I think I always (yep, always) get friend zoned because for some reason, deep down, I am terrified of presenting myself in a sexual way. How can this be overcome? I feel like I would look so foolish if I tried to be “sexy.” The result is that I have absolutely zero sexual vibes at all, and therefore have actually never had any attraction feelings reciprocated.

  • Dear Matt
    I have been following your videos for a few years now.
    Three years ago I started hanging out with my first highschool boyfriend. WHEN we first started to talk I had finally had just got rid of an ex who stalked me for 3 years after leaving him. I told my old high school boyfriend that I didn’t trust anyone at that time
    We still are hanging out…the problem is that I have always loved him. We fool around a bit but never sex. I have told him that I trust him but he never goes any farther… he says I love being with you love when you do that and love what we have.
    We have been doing this for 3 years and he wants many more.
    We have both had bad abusive relationships
    Am I wasting my time. .we are both in our 50’s. WHEN he drops me off I get a kiss and be a good girl

  • I was wondering what to do when you tell a guy you like him and he says he’s talking to someone else ?and then he tells that girl he never even liked you when he told you he did.

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