3 Risk-Free Messages to Make the First Move Online

Can a woman make the first move online?


People tend to overthink their initial approach when it comes to online dating, but the trick is twofold:

(1) Keep it simple

(2) Stand out so that you get his attention

As a woman, you should treat online dating as a fun place to try out different approaches, play, and have great interactions with different types of guys. In this week’s episode of LOVELife, I share THREE super practical messages that any woman can send to turn a guy’s head and make him desperate to get back to her. Write these down for yourself and try them today!

Free Guide

Copy & Paste These
"9 Texts No Man Can Resist"

11 Replies to “3 Risk-Free Messages to Make the First Move Online”

  • I feel like these lines are great for an online dating site or a guy who just added you on a social media platform. What about someone you’ve been following or Facebook friends with for a year or more (especially if you were in a relationship when he first added you and it’s often hard to tell on social media if/when someone becomes single again)? Then you dig through his photos and are like “OMG, you went to Vietnam??” You come across as a creepy stalker.
    And these lines still seem a little overboard if you make the first move of adding/friending him.

  • Matthew!! I love you, you little sweetheart!! I used one of your lines — I don’t know if we would get along … — and it worked!! Now I have to answer him back .. this is an on-line dating site and they’re telling me he wants to email directly
    ahaaa so I’m being spontaneous .. tomorrow ;) thank you xo

  • I thought this line would work, but it doesn’t:

    “Hey, xxxx dating site tells me we’re a match. Let me know if you want to meet up and test the algorithm?”

    I’ve learned over the past two years o a dating site that when I contact someone it NEVER results in a date, even when I note his interests, mutual interests, ask a question, etc. I even took a monthlong break from the site and returned with some new photos. Over two years I’ve had many 12 dates, only three led to a second and third meeting. I’m in my early 50s in a highly affluent, educated urban/suburban region on the east coast.

  • Is there any way to be high value and make the first move via email online at work without being humiliated or getting in trouble with human resources?! There is a guy I like the look of at work, I only see him in the restaurant from a distance or occasionally in other places if i lurk there on purpose! He is always with a group of men that he works with. I am always with people too.

    I don’t know if he is interested or available at all but I feel like we make eye contact more often than two strangers would and I am sure i have seen him staring sometimes, although he never smiles and neither do I.

    I can see no way of approaching him in person, i don’t sit on the same floor, I don’t have any work excuse to talk to him. I managed to find out his name so I could potentially email him but what could i say that wouldn’t make me seem totally unprofessional and a stalker or leave me totally embarrassed if i ever did have to deal with him at work one day in the future?

    I’ve been reading all the blogs and your book but I just can’t find anything for this sort of scenario.

  • The only way I can get to know the guy I’m keen on is through ‘Linked-In’ -hardly an appropriate forum! (My former careers were not especially compatible with his -and besides, I took early retirement about 10 years ago….long story!) He singled me out in a light hearted manner when we met briefly a while back. It was abroad in a very social situation -and might even have been just part of his ‘Hospitality’ role’ in which case he probably didn’t attach much importance to it, even though he did make a flattering quip. I think he probably has masses of female attention! How can I open a communication with him -and stand out from the rest-without breaching forum policy?

  • Please Help…
    I’ve met a guy online we talked every weekend at first for a months, now he just suddenly disappeared. It’s been a weeks now since last I’ve heard from him.
    Is it ok to message a him first? If yes, what should I write him?.. Thank you

  • I watched this. Tried the “that outfit…” line and got an immediate response. (This was on OkCupid.) We have now had a delightful exchange and a coffee date planned. Elapsed time = 30 minutes.

    You’re some sort of dating ninja.

  • Hi Mathew,
    I liked your videos and philosophy about relationships as it meets my believes and the standers I would like to be treated with. However, I didn’t have the ability to understand how men think and feel which you explained in your videos over and over.
    I used to apply some of your hints and advice by nature but as you said when you are attracted to someone, it’s usually ruined because of the emotional interference.
    I am actually writing this comment to draw your attention for some other problem that some women who live in the other part of the world might face which is being conservative and dealing with conservative mentalities.
    Well I am not against it but it is a matter of fact and principle at the same time. Therefore, most of the texts you send or your suggestions to express emotions seems to be a wrong message that might get misunderstood for men in my environment. Please don’t tell me that this includes a kind of limitation to feelings and it fights freedom because I don’t believe in this. I just believe that women such as me have a bit of higher standers when it comes to relationship requirements.
    Would you put our needs in consideration please :) For example, how can we send flattering messages that show our feelings and care without being so open and daring because this is not considered as an ethical trait neither for me or for the men I will be dealing with, especially, at the beginning of the relationship :((
    Thanks in advance,

  • Hi Matthew,
    I have been divorced for 21 years. Bought up 3 beautiful girls through their teenage life. Met one guy who I did not know had a mental illness and took his own life. Got caught by a romantic internet scan (thought he was American and he turned out to be Nigerian) but woke up before he got any money. Have had an 18 year relationship with a guy who is legally still married who I only see at weekends because of Centrelink. Would never date online again

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *