If you’re tired of endlessly swiping on Tinder and not being able to speak to that cute guy at the bar/party/bookstore (you know, in real life), here is your new weapon…
Want the Chance for Me to Answer YOUR Dating Question? Go to → AskMH.com
Matthew:
Hang on, Jameson.
Here we go…
Dog in the video.
That will make it do better, won’t it?
This video will do better, because you’re in it.
Even though, in real terms you’ve contributed nothing.
Alright.
Let’s get serious now.
No more animals in this video.
No more cheap ploys for engagement.
So let’s imagine Monkey’s at a bar, and this is a man.
We just did a Fast Track webinar so, I will use my audio equipment as a person.
Monkey is at the bar here.
Now, what Monkey’s afraid of…
What makes her anxious is if I were to go and talk to that person…
I’m making a big decision to go over there, and talk to them.
I’m now stuck here, in what could be a major rejection, or an embarrassing situation where I have nothing to say.
So what we wanna do is bring that down from a level eight of anxiety to a level four.
How do we do that?
We start seeing this as creating just a moment, instead of a conversation.
If Monkey is at the bar, and let’s say this is Jane.
Jane is the camera.
Monkey’s talking to Jane, and maybe this guy over here…
She spots him.
Says, “Mmm. Okay… ” Instead of going, Hi. How are you?
And now they have a big conversation from here which is now tough and awkward, and by the way, even if this conversation goes on for ten minutes.
Monkey might be wondering, ‘Does he like me?’ ‘Am I just imagining this,’ ‘or does he actually think I’m attractive too?’ Monkey doesn’t know, but what I’m about to suggest is gonna help Monkey know if he’s attracted, and reduce her nerves.
Wow…
So Monkey’s back at the bar.
Sees the guy…
Huh…
And Monkey happens to notice that he’s wearing pretty cool shoes.
So Monkey looks down, looks at him, and says, I like those shoes.
You have good taste in shoes.
And then she turns back, and talks to Jane.
She’s not really saying, “I like your shoes.”
What Monkey’s really saying is, “It’s Okay for you to talk to me.”
He now, if he likes you, can close down that space again, but this time it’s him closing down that space.
You close down space enough to talk to someone, but then you recreate enough space that they reinitiate.
When they reinitiate…
It’s like the dynamic’s reversed.
They’ve chosen now to talk to you.
It was a proactive decision to talk to you, instead of a reactive and passive state of simply being polite to someone who’s talking to them.
Go try that today.
I promise you, you won’t have no anxiety, but you’ll have a lot less, because you won’t be expecting so much from the conversation, AND you’ll get more reassurance that someone actually likes you when you break for a moment from the conversation, and they’re the one who reinitiates.
By the way, if you have a question that you wanna ask me on my next Fast Track webinar, maybe Monkey will make an appearance…
Go to AskMH.com, type in your question.
You’ll get a free trial to my membership, and we’ll see how it goes.
Maybe your question will get answered.
Even if it doesn’t, I’ll be answering lots of questions that are gonna help your love life, and we’re just gonna have a great time.
You should be a member ’cause it’s wonderful, and everyone loves it so much.
Jameson: Why is Monkey such a lush?
Matthew: Chuckles
Great video! Awesome advice as usual! Thanks Matthew! ;) Hugs!
Thank you for this Mathew!
Good advice… Is her accent really a “Tasha” though? Lol. All the callers sound the same. Other that that Matthew is a guru.
Interesting advice but did you have to use a monkey for the female and a huge phallic mic for the male! I found it very distracting.
Great video as always. And hey, you’ve now got a fledgling career in puppetry if all else fails!
(And Jameson, monkey is NOT a lush, she knows how to handle a ‘sherbet’ or two!)
I enjoyed the topic AND the monkey
Matthew I have a question, my ex and I have been divorced two years and he’s remarried, yet he calls me all the time, talks about our sex life wanting to still leave that door open. I still love him, but I am very confused. What is he telling me? Any advice?
I’m in love with monkey…. a far better investment I think then my current partner lol xx
Hi Matt! I have a question.
My husband and i currently apart,he is away for his schooling stuffs,whilst me and our 3 kids are left behind at a different state from him.
He sometimes ,provoke ekaps with me for no good reason,and later calls me up late in the night/even early part of the morning and talk about our sex life; I mean he recalls the very begiining of our friendship and the momments we share together, and while recalling those momments, he gets crazy on the other end,he cannot control his sexual desire,and am afraid am not to satisfy his emotions/play the role of a faithfull wife to him.
This situations sometimes tore me apart, and am afraid he might establish a relationship with his collegue mates, just to satisfy all these freaking sexual desires when they arouses.
Therefore, am troubled, everytime, I might lose my husband.
WHAT SHOULD I DO ?
I havent had a solid relationship in 8 years and Im so not understanding these men out here, what ..so ..ever. Are they like blind? or do I have to do the approaching
Smart Monkey!!
Please,I need your advice I’m dating a guy and he hardly call and return my text but claim he loves me.He short down the relationship and say we should just be friends and I apply one of the top in your program and now is back asking us to come back and that he want to settle down. What should I do, because I’m his senior that is his dear.
Hi please help me
I really love someone, I’ve never had this feeling before and this are days I think I’m already dead
At the firs We were just looking at each other but after 5 months he came to me and he said I came to you because I think you are shy
But I said no I’m not shy person
On that day we really had good conversation even we have some common things
But after that conversation he is never text me
I texted him once but I didn’t see any good reaction
Now I want to tell him that he was right I’m shy because I think when I said that to him maybe he filled embarrassing or something like that
Please help me I don’t want to lose him
Good
Am really hurt and sad I done know what to do because am in love with my best friend but he has someone in his life. How can I stop loving please help me it hurt souch.
I ❤️ Monkey!
She should have her own FB page!
Matt- I will try your newest tip this weekend!
1666
Is that working for women. Like flirting? They like your vlog because your totally cute but for flirting is not maybe easily you can move from your fast or our fast right. Maybe you have an experience thats why your sharing your side. Hope everything work and i do flirting i guest so it work.lol
Thanks
I loved Monkey when I first saw her, but bring back the dog!! She’s adorable.
p.s. Every guy who has a dog on his profile pic gets an instant message from me. It’s ok to use props to help you get a date.
Sooo useful, thanks Matthew! I’m totally Monkey with my nerves and social anxiety… This is great advice – ‘close space and then re-open it’ – risk free! Genius!! :)