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#1 Tip For Finding Love: Go On FEWER Dates

You do not need to go on more dates this year to find a great guy.

Yes, you heard that right.

What’s an easier way to meet great men? I’ll show you.

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48 Replies to “#1 Tip For Finding Love: Go On FEWER Dates”

  • Hi Matthew and team! Really enjoyed this video. But it does bring up a question. Let’s say you get on the phone with someone and you realize that you do not want to meet the guy in person. If there’s little to no chemistry on this initial phone call what would be the classy and respectful way of letting them know you do not wish to take it any further?

    1. I’d keep the call short and sweet to begin with, give yourself a time limit and state this in the start of the convo that way you’re at no obligation to stay on the line and then after say your half and hour you can just thank him for the call, it was nice to chat but you’ve got to go.
      If after half an hour it’s going well and you stay chatting longer then wayyyhayy .. you’ve got some chemistry that can warrant a second phone call :)

      1. Wow, half an hour is “short and sweet” in your books? :) Anything longer than 5 mins and I would be drained. I am always very hesitant when Matthew talks about phone calls, because I personally HATE being on the phone. It is like my personal nightmare and I know I am so much less charming and more awkward on the phone than I am in person, so I’m not sure that judging a person by their phone performance is a really good idea.

        I do get the point, but if people judged me by my awkward stuttering on the phone, I would never be asked on a date, and I’m sure that this applies to many other people as well.

        I love the concept of “Be generous with your minutes but selective with your hours”. Because when we meet someone in person, we know if we enjoy them after a few sentences, instead of wasting a whole evening with someone we don’t actually like talking to, just because their profile seemed great.

    2. Lauren – in my experience most guys can read that for themselves so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just like us women most men also know when the conversation is flowing and when it is not. If however you come across with a man who does not know this and wants to go on a date but you don’t want to waste your time I would always just be honest. Honesty after all is the best policy.

  • OMG Matthew, I LOVE this! Brilliant about the phone call. I actually had a guy who stood me up a couple of months ago. We DID have a phone call, where I was a bit on the fence about him and he ended up standing me up. I should have just listened to my gut reaction from the phone call, but I was like “maybe the chemistry is better in person?” My 2018 will be about being generous with the small interactions and not the big ones! Thank you ❤️

  • I have been doing this for a while now. My time is precious and I want to use it wisely. However, I also primarily use online dating sites. I find that used wisely they can save you lots of time and effort.

  • Hey Matt,

    I got to know a guy during my birthday in Nov last year and we have been chatting everyday on text and we did hang out quite a fair bit before I leave the country on a short term assignment in Jan. One thing he tells me is that he really likes me but he doesn’t do relationship. But why is he talking to me everyday then. I am puzzled. Should I give up?

  • Dearest Matt

    I just love to watch your videos.

    Keep it up. You are very special. May you also find the love of your life…

    Kind regards
    Priscilla from SA

  • I couldn’t have agreed more with this message, probably the most effective of all the tips I have heard about dating for a long time. The only limited resource we have on this planet is time and to get everything out of life we all dream of we need to deal with time the most effective way. You have just re-enforced my experience about dating all of last year, where I was going on dates with about 20 men who on paper were compatible with me but yet I still not managed to find chemistry with anyone. “Be generous with your minutes but selective with your hours” is already ingrained in my brain. Thanks Matt xx

  • Yes, you opened my vision to my correct moves. You are so awesome with your thoughts and advice about dating and relationships. Kudos to you!!!!!

  • This is great advice. I never go on a date without at least 1 phone call and you get better at filtering out people you just don’t click with. I’ve also found that the more men I talk with, the better I have become at working out what’s important to me.
    Thanks Matt!

  • Gee, you have been stalking me the last few weeks?! OK, if I give this a try, how do I tell a guy on the phone after 10 minutes that I am not interested without being mean (and yes, I have been guilty of judging the mismatched clothing pic)?

  • This video could not have come in a better time!! So helpful! Am ready to find him this year…
    Thank you :)
    Dana x

  • Thanks, Matt — love your videos. This idea is so helpful, but raises a big question I have: How do you recommend saying “no, thanks.” After an intro call or really anytime in the filtering process. That’s something I’ve always struggled with, and if I’m honest, I avoid and miss out on a lot of opportunities to test the waters because of it. Thanks! Oh, and pie and ice cream retro date is a win.

  • What is the best way to get them on the phone? Would you say something like – do you have a few minutes to talk so we can see if there’s chemistry?

  • Matthew, I think you have to give this talk to the men. Men are MUCH fussier than women about looks and clothes. This video seems to be telling women to lower standards. I think women need to raise their standards. I agree the phone conversation is most important. It tells you if the guy is serious about meeting someone and putting thought into it or just screwing around. I think you should ask for their phone number and set a time if you think there is any chance of meeting. Give it a set time maybe 6-7 months to move forward if he does not talk about anything regarding a relationship, MOVE ON. Try not to go to bed with him right away. Ask what he thinks of dating until you find someone special to be intimate with. If he thinks a date means you do not talk to other men, MOVE ON. Another thing – the no drama no baggage guys. More likely than not, they have some but choose to ignore it like it doesn’t exist! Everything is about their kids and their desires. Dump guys like this girls, these men are not worth your time.

  • What if it feels like everyone I randomly meet (or am drawn to) is married or taken? This is a big reason I’ve stopped chatting with guys in public. It feels like everyone has put a ring on it. Sigh.

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