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4 Dangerous Reasons You Fall In Love Too Fast

She thought about him every day when she got home, remembering that perfect moment on the boat trip when he took her hand and pulled her tight to him.

But then… he never called…(I know, it’s horrible, right?)

The truth is, this often happens because of some very simple mistakes we make when it comes to falling in love. In this week’s video, I’ll show you how to avoid them…

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45 Replies to “4 Dangerous Reasons You Fall In Love Too Fast”

  • To the dark bottomless mailbox…

    I know noone will ready this, it’s just not possible to read all the hysteric obsessed women’s letters I completely get that

    I just figured this is the appropriate place to write this…

    When my email went DING today I literally said to myself “oh that will be Matt” which I personally find hilarious because
    A) I get A LOT of emails, mainly work
    B) I’m not seeking attention, I get plenty
    C) I’m not that desperate, at least not yet..give it another 6 months maybe
    So to come to that realisation that “Ah yeah, it’s late Sunday, it will be Matt” I found it really amusing so thank you, you strange soul somewhere in the world for becoming apart of my Sunday routine



  • These 4 minutes are priceless, the best I’ve ever heard. Many women fall in love simply because they feel miserable by themselves. And about the narcissist man… danger ahead.

  • I’m going through this situation right now, not with one guy, but 2, and is because my deep desire of falling in love, and This video as come in perfect timming. One of them is MPIing me and the other played me in ways that I’ve never expected. Thanx Matt, again you’ve saved my heart. In need to move on.

  • Dear Matthew Hussey.

    This is me right now… an emotional masochist. I’m new to this dating thing and I’m 24. I only saw 2 guys so far and I was already making a huge mistake falling for the first guy. I can’t help it. Funny. Last night I broke down after having 2 glasses or Martinis and 3 glasses of rhum and coke in front of…. my mom and stepdad during a fun family get together. That’s when I realized I gotta end this casual thing with him that he isn’t investing as much time with. He’s a nice guy but I knew I wasn’t the one for him. I just like him… a lot. Now I still got tears in my eyes, having a hangover, realized that enough is enough, and decided to end things with a nice talk with him. Then at 7am, you’re video was a wake-up call and a confirmation. I will love myself and improve myself even more. I wish I can go to your retreat but I can’t afford to go. Thank you for the words that really do help us all women out here. Love you lots.

    A girl who has a big heart she lets almost everyone in until it breaks.

  • This is exactly what I am going through right now at the early stages of this “almost” relationship. I invested much more than I should and got strung along the whole time.
    Thanks Matt for this insightful video.
    It’s time for me to stop investing too much, sit back and see how things actually go.

  • Matt, I have been watching your videos for over a year and they are invaluable but this one was the best. I have been emotionally and soulfully sucked in with a guy that I knew in college (over 30 years ago) for the past year. Every time we speak there is an immediate deep connection, but then he disappears. When I let him know I need him for a minute he is nowhere to be found. I couldn’t figure out if he was a narcissist or what but when you used the word “invest” it finally clicked for me. Bottom line is it doesn’t matter if he is truly in love with me or just a narcissist or whatever, if he isn’t investing, he isn’t good for me. Thank you so much for finally getting my head straight on this “relationship”. Such a simple word is so key!! You are awesome! Thank you!!!

  • Sadly, he’s right. But it’s too bad 99% of the guys that I’ve shared those “near perfect moments” with are not feeling same way as I do. Worst part is, that after all my years of dating practice, wisdom, and selectiveness I’ve acquired, it’s very far and few between to have these types of intense, lovely connections. Hence, it makes it harder to swallow my pride and just put it in the memory box.

  • Exactly. Married to a narc and I must admit it is the best thing ever in the beginning. It ends up being only about them at the end. It takes years to learn this because you really believed you are soul mates. They are the best masterminds. Sad. Almost 10 years of learning this now. I will know what to ask and do when I start dating again. Ask yourself if when was the last time you even mattered. Thats what started popping up for me and my mom helped me realize I was being gaslighted. Overtime you really lose your mind! Glad I have learned these terms to now see and notice what is happening as they happen. Worst feeling in the world.

  • If you heard this message, and continue to pine and wallow, it’s on you at that point. A very similar thing happened to me. And I spent 2 years wanting someone that had no interest in a relationship. And worse, I wasn’t able to move on in my head to give other guys I dated a chance. Great guys that I pushed aside waiting for Mr. Wonderful to figure out that we would be perfect together and I was “the one”. The problem was, he wasn’t thinking much about me (watch Matthew’s video about low investment guys). And there was no way I was ever going to be the “one”, because he wasn’t going to stop playing anytime soon, and maybe never. I’m not a 20 something dingbat either. At the time I was 43, an accomplished professional, smart, fit, fun, kind, and attractive. He was 48 and those descriptors were the same for him. Bottom line is, I don’t blame him for the two years of being caught up in this unrequited love thing. I blame myself for making too much out of something I shouldn’t have. Thankfully, I woke up and decided I wouldn’t waste one more minute of my life. That change in thinking allowed me to meet someone fantastic. Wehave been seeing each other for a year now. He’s every bit as fantastic as “Mr. Wonderful”, but the difference is, he’s not in playboy mode, and he and I are in the same place in life of wanting the same things. This love is the right kind of love. It’s based on mutual feeling and the “what’s happening here and now” rather than what I pictured and wished for with the other guy. Actions ladies, never just the words. When one loves and cares more than the other, it’s going to fail. And it is going to hurt. Badly. Listen to Matthew. Everything he has said in this video is SPOT on. Take your life back. And remember your worth!

  • Wow. I have to say this is probably one of the best messages you’ve sent. It really resonated with me. I’m slowly and rather painfully learning this lesson about people (not just romantic relationships, but friendships as well). It seems I’m always willing to give and be more to them, than they are to me. There’s oftentimes this disparity in my relationships.

    You really struck a chord with me. I find myself now, with trying to avoid paying the cost of all of this – is that I feel I’m becoming more and more closed off emotionally. I’ve become very distrustful of both myself, my perceptions and experiences, and in people who have claimed to be genuinely interested in me. While I know my worth, my actions are not always reflective of that. This message has served to remind me of what to look out for in those times when I’m doubting myself and my experience – and that I may just be getting caught up in the feelings associated with the moment, rather than the emotional availability of that person.

    Powerful message today Matthew – I really appreciate it. This is one going in my Favorites for repeat viewing for sure!!

  • My story was similar to this. But luckyly ( before this video) last week I finally ended my thing with a guy who i had a thing like this. We had been doing this for 1,5 year. I told the guy i’ve had it and i want to move on! So to see this video made me feel that i really made the right decision. To be honest ”leaving” him was not even that bad because we had broken up so many times before and i already knew that nothing serious will ever happen between us. So if a guy is not giving you what you want then just let go and move on.

  • listening to this, makes me feel one emotion, sad.
    sad on how there is no longer any value or meaning to any special moment – or even the “the moment”itself.
    Everyone wants to live the moment, while they are actually devaluing the moment and the feeling of that moment itself. \

  • Hoping this is my year to finally get it. The universe keeps throwing these types of guys at me,(the non investing ones), but I’m feeling stronger than ever thanks to you Matt. I’m creating the kind of life I am happy with just being by myself, but still theres the niggle of wanting to share that with someone each time I meet a guy. I’m very conscious and aware of this though, so reeling it in is pretty easy now. Still need to get myself unstuck from my ex who moved away, but still comes over if he’s in the area to help me fix things around the house, have sex, eat dinner, stay over and go back home the next day. I’m soo close lol

  • This is the reinforcement I need to hear to stay strong: “If he’s not investing, the onus is on you to walk away.” Matt, I love how you get to the heart of the matter and the way you remind us to value ourselves. Thank you!

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