3 Tricks To Do Anything You Want

Is there something you’ve been wanting to do but are worried what other people may think of you?

A trip away? A new hairstyle? A new hobby?

In this week’s video, I give you 3 tricks to help you from having other people’s opinions hold you back. Enjoy!

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154 Replies to “3 Tricks To Do Anything You Want”

  • Hi Matt,

    Just want to thank you and Jameson and all you do. My confidence (which wasn’t low to begin with) is at an all-time high. So many reasons why but you and Jameson’s tips have helped too. So positive to come here. You’re like the guys who remember the milk in the tea. :-)

    I’m just enjoying my life, learning about menfolk, and listening to your positive videos about life.



  • hi Matt,

    if I want to do something, there are very rare times when I care about the opinions of my friends and family. I do it anyway, but then there are times when I find that it is hardest to convince yourself to go and do it. For example I have wanted to go on my very first solo trip since like forever, but whenever I have the opportunity,I stress more on the reasons why I shouldn’t do it, in how many ways things can go wrong etc etc..and i slip back into my comfort zone.:-( help me please???

  • Although there have been times when I cared too much about what people thought, it hasn’t really been a problem for quite sometime because I realized that I need to do what is best for me no matter what other people say. The quote I have lived by for years pretty much sums it up: “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.” ~Theodor Geisel

  • Would these tips apply as well to something like family members not approving of who you date -even though there’s no reason for them to dislike this person? My mother doesn’t want me to date at all even though I am 28. For example, my mother was dropping me off at a place and she saw a guy around my age standing near a doorway talking on his cell phone and she exclaimed, “Is that a guy?!!” Then she told me she would have to get of the car with me so that she could walk me past him as to avoid me having any interaction with him. Then, another time at Disney world recently a guy around my age asked me to take a picture of him and his little sister. I happily agreed and took a few pics for them. My mother saw all of this unfold and thought it was completely absurd. She said to me, “I didn’t know what on earth he was up to!” And, “I can’t believe he hand selected you out of all these people he hand selected you for that. He must have wanted more than a picture!” My father is the same way and he talks about how he and my mother need to “keep them (guys) away from Lauren!” Like it’s really serious. Talking to them doesn’t help. And their behavior has always been even worse if I’m in an actual relationship with someone. When I’m dating someone my father advises me to “stop talking to him” and my mother wants it to be me,her, and my boyfriend in the relationship and in that order. They are both also terrified if I spent a second alone with a guy. If I have any interaction with a guy or if there’s any potential for interaction it causes trouble. I’m at a place where I would like to date an incredible man. I’m a really loving person and I finally feel like I could be happy dating someone again (thanks to watching your vids, reading your book and taking lots of notes lol) and that it could be a positive experience. However, as much as I hate to admit it (because it makes me sound so weak) I do care about what my parents think and what they think of me. One of the main reasons I’ve written off dating for so long is because I have a very hard time dealing with the feeling I experience due to their reactions over this. Another thing that makes it even harder is when I’m out is if my mother knows where I am she will show up there too and if she “catches” me talking to someone-even someone she gets jealous of me giving anyone else any amount of my attention other than her. She doesn’t show up every single time when she knows where I am but it’s happened so much I find myself getting nervous over and turning around to check and see if she’s coming up on me. Sometimes her and my father show up and now I’m feeling compelled to lie about where I am and who I’m with, but if they find out I’m lying I’ll be labeled as a terrible person. Even though I am a grown adult my parents keep an overly watchful eye on me which causes me a lot of anxiety because I don’t like dealing with the ridicule and hearing all the talks from them about how “sex is wrong” and “sex will make you look old” ect. Yes! even though I’m 28 and old enough and wise enough to make my own choices I’m still getting the sex talks -if there’s any suspicion that something might occur between and a guy. I know this is a little more of an uncommon situation, but nonetheless real. My best friends parents are similar to mine in this respect and my friend just got married and she can’t even tell her father she’s married because he would lose it. My friends father called her a “prostitute” among when he found out she was dating her now husband. So when she’s around her father she pretends to be a virgin and never mentions she’s married-that’s the only way things stay peaceful and I could see myself doing the same thing in the future with my parents. I know I’m not the only one who faces these challenges with their parents. Should I recognize it as their problem and Should I just not care about it and go about my life? If so I hope I can find a way to muster up that confidence and sustain it. I really feel uncomfortable in this situation and don’t know what to do. Thanks so much for taking the time to read this! It really means a lot! And ANY advice from you or Stephen would be MUCH appreciated!! Thank you. :)

  • Hi Matt,

    Recently, during an impromptu discussion with my boss, he commented that I should have more sex. I laughed it off but then is there a smart comeback to such a comment. Also, many times I get comments from my superiors that I am all over the place or I have my head in d clouds. I would really appreciate it if you could share some tips. Thank you :)

    1. Hi Lorine, as a woman I find comments like “You need more sex” annoying and actually insulting. An old male friend told me something like that once. I reacted him “What are you? Sigmund Freud?” I can’t imagine a boss talking to me like that. It is unflattering let alone the fact that it is very unprofessional.

      It is normal if your partner says that. Then I would say something like “Is it that obvious?” But I would react to anyone other than my boyfriend who talks to me like that.
      My five cents. xx

  • Hi Matt and Stephen,

    I have a question. Well let me start from the beginning. So there was this guy that I met a few years ago, you can say that I really liked him. He had everything I wanted in a person…well on paper that is. He was smart, had his own house, his own friends, a life, attractive, we liked the same music (major for me), we played the same sport(volleyball) and he had a sense of humor that made me giddy inside. Literally everything i wanted in a person. So much so that I thought that this was the person I was going to be with, we went on 2 dates and he vanished. In a way I understand why, I mean I was clingy in a way(cringe), I was young (19) and I knew nothing about dating the right way, i did not allow him to pursue me and I also did not take the time to get to know him. I was so into the idea of him that I did not even get to know him as a person.

    Fast forward to 2 years later or so, I am more wiser about dating, knowing myself and actually enjoying being with myself, making a fun life, having positive friends, having goals and accomplishing them, focusing on things that make me happy. I have dated other guys of course and I am over this one guy, I mean I have no desire to want to be with him or anything like that but the thing is I have this feeling in my mind that I want to show him that I am better than him. Better than him in a sense that his rejection had no affect on me. That I have an amazing life. My question is what do I do? I want to eradicate the thought of him from my mind even though i have no desire to want to be with him.

  • Hi Matt,
    I don’t tell my family and friends about all of my experiences or stuff that I do, partly because I don’t want to explain why I want to do those things which are different from their value system, partly because I am an introvert. Is my strategy an alternative to your suggestion?

    1. Hi Jade, I hope you don’t mind me responding but I don’t feel your family absolutely needs to know everything about your life. When I made my big move I told my family 2 weeks before I left and over the years I have been able to help them understand why I did that and they totally respect me for it. I knew what their response would be but I knew I needed to live my life and in that instance it would have made things way more difficult than I could handle. Bottom line I think sometimes its o.k. not to share. Would love to hear your comments Matt :)

  • First off I have to say a man who can dance is sooo sexy especially when it’s with a woman ;)
    One thing I’ve found that’s important is sticking to my guns, meaning I don’t give in because of what someone thinks. I actually have a great example, when I moved to LA I had a family member who constantly tried to get me to move back to Atlanta and the other day I was talking to this family member and they told me how much they admired and respected me for coming out here and not giving up when things got tough. I believe quite a bit of the reason people give us a hard time for our decisions is because they frankly just don’t have the nerve to do the things we are doing. So, stick to your guns and don’t let others dictate your future :)

  • Love the video! I have a question as well. A while ago I was with a guy and we were getting intimate. However, he couldn’t get it up (I did not know this guy well by the way). Everything got very awkard and I didn’t know what to say. I really wanted to let him know that I wasn’t angry or anything and just make him more comfortable with the situation. How can I deal with this in a good way?

  • This video is AMAZING!!!!! I love it so much, there used to be a time where I felt self conscious about being vegan i just waved away the questions when ppl wondered why I wouldn’t eat certain things at parties. Now i just openly tell them and have them kinda stare at me for 5 minutes and glee. you definitely get judged but it does raise awareness on this subject and i do think its a positive thing to do. I have done the mistakes mentioned in this video before and can completely relate to what you’ve said, i only which i’d known this earlier to avoid all the disputes i’ve had with people. Thanks so much Mat & Jameson for this video you guys are awesome!!!!!

  • I love that you do things that have to do with life and building your character.
    I usually don’t care what people think and have this trait where if someone tells me I shouldn’t do something I will want to do it even more. Actually because of this I have come pretty far in life.
    The only people I really have a hard time disagreeing with are my parents, especially my mom. Not the I usually agree with her but it does make me stop and explain it to myself.

  • If you are looking for things to talk about please please do pieces about letting go and letting him initiate.
    This is SO HARD to do.
    Many women move mountains in every other area of our life so it is extremely difficult to sit back and wait for the guy to not be busy or get around to initiate something.

    1. Hi Nina, Matt has an entire program dedicated to this (and much more). It’s called ‘Fast Track to Mr. Right’ and it is A.M.A.Z.I.N.G – I can highly recommend it – it was definitely a game changer for me! I found the best man ever (for me) and he is fully committed to us – he will even move to my city after our three month trip in Asia <3

      Give it a try. It might change your life as well :)

  • Can you please talk about how to stop going for the guys that don’t give you enough attention?

    This has been a pattern in my life, I start out really empowered and attract guys – and there are two ways this can go:
    1) he’s super sweet and gets extremely clingy and I start to distance myself
    2) he’s someone who doesn’t have much time and doesn’t always answer and *I* am the one who gets clingy

    I just want to let people go who don’t give me what I need, please help.

    1. I’ll answer this one since I had the same issue. Two things:

      1) Get really busy with your life so that you don’t even have time to think of pursuing someone who isn’t interested. This is easier said than done. I got busy with work, but it’s more fun to be busy with other cute guys who think you’re cute. :-)
      (This is what Matt might say.)

      2) Sometimes you just pursue them anyway. Just do it. You can’t always help it. After enough times of doing this and it not working and you know it’s not going to work, you finally, finally get tired. Then you can go to number 1.
      (This is what I actually did. :-))

      Good luck! It’s not easy out there!

  • Hi Matthew,

    I was looking for advice on this particular subject.

    I’m confronted to this kind of situation at the moment.

    I discovered recently that I had a disability which is invisible but makes my job harder and I risk burn-out if I do nothing about it.

    If I revealed my disability at my worksplace, I could get arrangements to make my work less tiring and maybe my colleagues and my boss would understand me better and blame me less for the things I have trouble to do.

    The problem is my parents are completely against this decision of revealy my disability.
    They think it will be stimatizing, that people won’t make the effort to understand, that I could lose my job… Moreoever they don’t really understand how hard it is for me to hide my difficulties.

    Personnally I don’t like to hide the things I’m not responsible for. I don’t feel ashamed about it and I don’t know why I should.
    I would even like to testify to others about this disability to people in order spread awareness about it.

    I am a young adult and I still have difficulties to make big decisions without my parents aggreeing with me. It’s difficult because we are still very close and I need their help in some areas of my life.

    I’m trying to make up my mind in order to take decisions which I feel are the best for me, even if my parents don’t think the same.

  • Matty

    I don’t know who I am, expereinced many lifes pains and tribulations. Sure, we all go through our ups and downs in life, but for some people, some things burn to the core where the pain feels never ending.

    So I had a brainwave at the end of September, to create a two year life makeover called Mind-Body-Soul. What it entails is going through everything in my inner psychology. Working through the expereinces of my life, by the years, to the people, to the sadness, happiness, correlations of patterns and basically working through any area that is/has been holding me back.

    The idea in mind is to, detox, clense, heal and renjuvinate, on a Mind-Body-Soul level. It’s about deeply finding out where I’ve been going wrong in life, who I want to be, unlocking hidden parts of my psyche and becoming open to all the parts of who I am, to show up as love, light, confidence, radiance and so much more.

    The Mind-Body-Soul section each has different key elements to work on, such as body covers themes like bodylanguage, self image, hair care, style, just to name few.

    Soul covers spiritual matters, stuff like chakras, aura, the bigger picture.

    Thats a simple idea of what the makeover is about. But I never thought on October 1st when I first started the life makeover that one day I’d be investing in a complete name change!!

    I told my mom and the farther of my child, that I’m planning a complete name change due to mental health reasons. My childhood was very painful and some things can never go, but with a new name – Saphire Rubie Aribella Leroux – none of the bad things ever happened to her. She didn’t go through all thoses painful life expereinces and she can frame herself in anyones mind with how ever she wants to be perceived, she’s her own boss and owns herself and doesn’t care what anyone thinks in a sense that she lets it hold her back. If she likes it then she will own it!!

    My mom was surprised but supportive all the same. The farther of my child was a little more taken back as he fell in love with me as Holly.

    People won’t like it when you try to change or challenge their way of thinking in what they know of you! But hey, this is my life to life and I’ve made up my mind 100%.

    Also, my biggest Ambition is to write a book and for it to be turned into a film. Everyone who I told about my story said that it sounds good, and even when I never believed in myself, I passionately believed in this idea with all my heart and soul. The universe gave me the idea and it’s coming from the right place.

    I guess thats me anyway.

  • Hi Matt, I find this video very interesting, because the one big thing I want to do is go to your retreat next year and I haven’t told anyone about it. While I know my family and friends will support me in the idea, I’ve also experienced that money plays a big role in that.

    If you want to do something less conventional and it only costs a $100, negativity from other people will be less and the support higher. But if you want to do something that costs $2000 or even more, I know most people around me (if not all) will declare me nuts for spending that much money on a 5 day retreat (that may or not may change my life – the sceptics).

    Any advice on how to break the news to my family? :)

  • “Defend your curiosity, not the thing itself.”

    Matt, this is brilliant.

    Thank you and Jameson for another great video!

    1. PS: When you suggest at the end ‘Don’t just watch these videos, comment!”, I felt guilty so i promise to comment from now on! i.e. your comment about this worked :)

  • I so love your videos and in the short time I have been watching them I have grown more as a person then I have in the last 40 years thank you so much for helping me find the true me xx

  • Hi Matt

    I have been communicated via Skype for almost a year now with a guy who lives in Turkey. He is 10 years younger than myself, separated and has a daughter. We like each other very much and we both would like to be with each other. I shall be meeting him for the first time in Turkey next year. We both have the same birth sign and I believe that we will get on well together. A few close friends know that I will be meeting him but I have not yet told my mother as I know whe will disapprove. Yet she says you do not want to have regrets and that is why I would like to meet him as life is short and I need to do something with my life. I am still trying to meet someone in this country but I find it difficult finding a connection and also finding someone I am attracted to, and to be honest I feel like giving up. I have been told that Turkish guys can be very loving and he does seem genuine. We seem ideal for each other. I will let my mother know next year that we will be meeting as this is what I intend to do. I have decided that next year will be a year of “doing” instead of “thinking”.

  • Great tool to use. Just started new business and some people have been sceptical so I will definitely try the stand alongside theory. More like this please!

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