3 Boxing Tricks that Bulletproof You from Rejection

In this week’s video, I’m giving you a very special treat: a breakdown of confidence from one of my most cherished mentors, my boxing trainer, Mr. Martin Snow.

If you are sick and tired of running, and are still scared of putting yourself on the line in love, stop whatever you’re doing now and listen to this…

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15 Replies to “3 Boxing Tricks that Bulletproof You from Rejection”

  • Here I am debating whether I should or should not reach out to him and this video pops up on my YT subscription page. I click. I watch. I’m still scared to reach out. I am 27 and I met a guy at grad school and after a year and a half of sporadic interactions, we ended up going to a mission trip he invited me to. On this trip it seemed obvious to the group that he was interested in me. I was certainly wishing this was true. On the airplane ride back from the trip, he told me that he liked me and we spent that whole trip cuddling, watching movies, and talking. We laughed and it was great until the flight attendant asked us if we were together. Before giving him a chance to answer I said “no we’re nothing, he’s nothing to me”. Jokingly shocked he looked at me and clarified that he thought we were on a date. He explained that we were holding hands, we had watched 3 movies, and we had lunch and dinner. I conceded but clarified that it was our first last date because I he had mentioned that he did not want a long distance relationship. While I live in Michigan, he was graduating that semester and would move to Oregon a month after this flight we were on. So I decided that I wasn’t going to continue dating him if he did not see the possibility of a future. To make the long story short, he asked me out on a second first last date (this one was going to be our first official date since the first one was just circumstantial). But I responded that if it was another first last date then I was I interested. Now, if he would like to take me out on a second date then we could see when would work best for the both of us. This is where it took a turn. We decided to meet to simply talk about each other’s expectations about the relationship and even though I wasn’t requiring a commitment I wasn’t open to something that did not have the prospect of a future. He said he was ok with that and agreed to go on a second date. But two hours before our date he called to cancel. He said that he couldn’t picture starting something with me while he was closing a chapter in Michigan and moving away. He had been saying goodbye to his church that day and found it hard enough to say goodbye to them. He explained that he found out he could move to Oregon sooner than he expected and it bothered him that I was the reason he was even considering staying longer. I said I understood.

    About two weeks later, he contacted me via message saying “I had a dream you wanted to talk to me”.

    I was offended and asked “you had a dream about me? Do you even own a compass? You realize you went from treating me one way and then another suddenly?

    He called.

    We talked for an hour..

    He was surprised that I was upset at him but I felt played. Like I was made to believe that he wanted something by he being the one to insist on another date. I was trying to protect myself and did not agree to going out with him until he did not treat it so casually and he called 2 hrs before our date to cancel?!!? I was doing my hair. I was Soo sad and upset.

    He tried to explain and it shocked me to hear how emotional he got when he understood that I was hurt. But even though he got emotional he didn’t ask to be with me. He asked for my forgiveness but was decided to not have anything other than a friendship with me.

    Now here’s the part where I come to you. It is very hard to explain all the nuances but to sum it up, I think that he was genuinely interested in me but maybe did not want to feel attached just before his big move. He expressed that he feared falling for me and wanted to stop it before it happened because he did not want long distance relationship (he had been cheated before and had trust issues).

    But I still like him and I wish I would have gotten the chance to know him and decide for myself whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship with him. I feel like I got so caught up in trying to explain that it was worth getting to know each other that I myself did not have the opportunity to decide whether or not I wanted this.

    He’s my big “what if”

    What if we had gone on that second date
    What if I had simply agreed to the second first last date without putting any pressure on us to be more than casual for the moment?
    What if he had not listened to the people around him who care about me and influenced him to not commit u less he knew for sure that he wanted a future
    What if he never moved to Oregon
    What if I called him
    What if I had agreed to be his friend like he asked instead of sitting boundaries and deciding that it was best for us to go ourseperate ways
    What if he had gotten to spend more time with me
    What if
    What if
    What if

    There’s AA part of me that wants to tell him how I feel

    I don’t know what to do.

    On the one hand I want him to fight for me
    On the other, I am the one who pushed him away when he sent me the message about having a dream that I wanted to talk to him
    I don’t want to be vulnerable and lose my power.
    I also don’t want to lose the opportunity to get to know him because my ego got in the day.

    I don’t know what to do…
    Can you help?

  • Great! The only problem is that by the time you’re learning to be a better person by listening more, learning how to have a cool conversation, sharing more, having no ego and all the great stuff you’re teaching women, this one thing happens: you start to see nobody is so amazing as you are! Nobody catches up with what you’re becoming. You see all the guys still have SOOOOOOOO friggin much to learn. That’s my problem at the moment.

  • This is how you “put a ring on it” pun intended! So very straightforward and insightful! Thank you Both!!

  • My favorite of the 3 pieces of advice: Kill your ego. Ego gets in the way of everything good that can happen in your life.

  • Life is a big fight, and I am a fighter like an alpha. This is the best thing that I know.

    For a long time I have been going through a darkness which is getting worse. And it is not just about love. My illnesses, unending Ph.D. thesis, being left alone by my family, lots of friends, living in a very problematic country… All I am trying to do is stand up again, and be strong every single day. Maybe you have no idea how much your videos, quotes help me in general. Because your point of view is supportive, positive, not bossy. Although I am defined as a strong woman, I need to hold onto somethings, someones nowadays. For example, I wrote “cut it off” onto my board a few days ago beacuse I was feeling very upset about a serious health problem of mine. I didn’t just get this words as a love life lesson, also I tried to absorb them as a new beginning for my feelings to start a day happier…

    Thank you!!!

    A fighter,

  • I’ve been fighting with fear of comittment all my life, I’ve now realized life is too short to waist being with the wrong person. I now know who my right person is and through the hurt and punches I’ve taken he’s the one I’ve always wanted to be an grow with..he’s always been my person..Hard to explain but deep in my core I know…thank you for helping me to really think for once and decide that’s what I really want…soul surching really does help…cheers…

  • Hi Mathew love to come that beautiful spot call paradise but I am books up so you have enjoy with out me love you Mathew had great time chatting with you see me next year so happy holidays to you and your family

  • its really a nice video, learnt something, but hey Mathew my relationship is really in a bad shape really I think not to continue anymore, heard he has a girl but I can’t over the feelings I have for him, could it be that am obsessed or what?

  • Thank you Matt. This is a great advice for me and I guess for many others too. That’s been my 3 biggest problems: I overthink a lot, I don’t want to be hurt, and my ego takes the best of me. I’m in the process of recognizing old habits and thought patterns so this video is helping me to be awared of them. Thanks xx

  • Hey Matt, I just wanted to thank you for the amazing job you are doing. I’ve been following you for a couple of years now and you really helped through two hard breakups. I love your videos so much because they basically have the same content (in a more practical way) of what my therapist taught me for 5 years. I know it’s a delicate matter but I have been struggling with mental disorders for most of my life and I wish to see one day a video that talks directly to people in my position. Once you spoke about meeting a woman who had a crush on someone and she was in a wheelchair, and you said that she was afraid by the burden she would put on a man’s shoulder. Having mental problems and trying to find a man is very similar. I am afraid the person in front of me would understand how difficult it is to be with someone who deals with depression or anxiety. Anyway I hope one day you will pass by Amsterdam (Netherlands). Byee :)

  • Hi Matt l’ Ve been watching you’re videos for a while on !! I get them every Sunday and love them to pieces you rock.Love this week video matt you are so passionate at what u do at it show. That’s why l keep coming a week after week.lwould li to tell u l have tried some of your techniques and the worked perfectly!!! Now may I tell
    You about my boyfriend that l met online dating .lmet him 3months ago and we hit off right away. We texted every day at least 3times a day. He want to know everything about me what was childhood like how big was my family my likes my dislikes l oils on and on.Then l ask about his family and he answered l also asked about his childhood answered.We seemed to be comparable until just few days ago.Something changed and l don’t know what happened he changed he hinted that he and said that he was going to get engaged on Christmas Eve!!Now l can’t get a hold of him .He will not answer his phone ?And my family locked his phone number so l can’t text or call him.But l unblock it and did get a text to him. But no text back. I really love this guy♥️.l also called him three times no response.so Matt lm doing what your video say drop him like a lead ballon even though it hurts so bad. I know there is someone out there for me l
    Just have to brush off the dust and carry on.And that’s what l have learned from u Matthew your the best teacher of all !!.You do with such compassion and you give you all and you tell like it is even bull shit and a couple of fers. I’ll e u❤️keep
    The fantastic work l do appreciate u!!!SallyMcGinley

  • This is very helpful, Matt! I’m dealing with a guy who is a wonderful partner in many ways, he is devoted to me and I don’t have worries about him actually cheating. However, he has to engage with women by teasing them everywhere we go, and making them laugh. It makes me feel very disrespected. He asserts that there is nothing wrong with it, that it is just his outgoing personality. Some people tell me I need to man up and not feel threatened. But it brings me tremendous stress. I feel like he constantly oversteps boundaries with other women. When I try to address it with him, he just starts telling me I have an insecurity problem. What markers of behavior would tell you that he is crossing the line for sure? How much is Just guys being guys, and how do I know where a realistic spot is to set my standard?

  • Hi Matt I’m Abigail a lady of 26years old,I met this guy through a church member who is 10years older than me,we have been chatting for about 6 months now but he’s not putting in any effort though he tell my church member that he’s cool with me,we don’t have much communication bcos he lives in another country and he’s always busy about his work,I don’t know what to do now

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