How To Get the Guy Podcast

Why does confidence feel so fragile? You can get the date, enter a relationship, even achieve success in other areas of your life . . . and still feel like you’re “not good enough.” That insecurity can follow you through every stage: from messaging on apps, to first dates, to long-term relationships. In this episode, Matthew breaks down why so many of us tie our confidence to external “metrics” — looks, success, status, attention — and why that approach inevitably leaves us anxious and comparing ourselves to everyone around us. Matthew shares 2 powerful ways to build real confidence in

Do men change? I get asked this all the time . . . and the truth is more nuanced than the internet makes it sound. When I met my wife, I wasn’t looking for commitment. A couple of years later, we were engaged. So yes, change can happen. But not in the way most people think. In this episode, I break down what actually inspires someone to grow, the mistakes that keep people stuck hoping, and the 3 things that can shift the direction of a relationship—if you’re with the right person. If you’re wondering whether to hold on or

Have you ever noticed the moment it happens? You meet someone, you’re fine… and then suddenly you really like them and you start editing yourself. You become agreeable. Overly available. “Easy.” And it feels like you’re being kind… but something about it is quietly costing you. In this episode, Matthew breaks down the switch that flips when someone becomes “important,” and why the urge to be extra nice is often just high-stakes fear in disguise. He explains how people-pleasing doesn’t create closeness: it creates blandness, resentment, and relationships where you can’t be yourself. If you’ve ever felt yourself shrinking to keep someone,

I hear this all the time: “Matthew, they’re wonderful but they won’t let me in. The conversations stay shallow. They deflect when things get real. And no matter how safe I try to make it, they just . . . won’t go there.” Sound familiar? Here’s the thing: I’ve been on both sides of this. I’ve been the man who shut down, and I’ve been lucky enough to experience the moment that cracked me open. This episode is personal. I’m telling you two stories: one where vulnerability went horribly wrong, and one where it literally led to my marriage. If

We often talk about how the right partner will elevate your best and soothe your worst. But what if you secretly feel like your best isn’t good enough . . . or that your worst will be “too much“ for someone? When we carry that fear, we tend to overcorrect. We try to impress. We hide parts of ourselves. We delay vulnerability. And in doing so, we block the very connection we want. In this episode, Matthew shares how to stop looking at yourself through a lens of self-judgment and self-loathing, and instead develop real self-compassion and self-empowerment. You’ll learn

Dating can burn you out . . . especially when you’ve been rejected, ghosted, or stuck in that exhausting loop where nothing ever turns into something real. In Part 2 of my conversation with clinical psychologist Guy Winch, we get into how to stop showing up in “don’t mess this up!” mode, how to shift from avoiding loss to actually going for connection, and how to date in a way that protects your energy. We also tackle modern dating burnout—why it turns into cynicism, how to spot the patterns keeping you stuck, the “coffee date” debate, the “burned haystack” method,