How To Get the Guy Podcast

One of the hardest things about people-pleasing is the fear of what might happen if you stop. What if someone gets upset? What if they pull away? What if the relationship changes? In this episode, Matthew, Audrey, and Stephen explore why so many of us struggle to set boundaries, speak honestly about our needs, and tolerate conflict in our relationships. They discuss how people-pleasing often begins as a way of feeling safe, loved, and accepted, and why it can become such a difficult pattern to break. The conversation explores the hidden costs of constantly keeping the peace, the surprising rewards

More and more people are saying the same thing: they're tired of the apps and want to meet someone in real life. The problem is that after years of outsourcing the earliest stages of dating to our phones, many of us have lost our flirting muscle. We're worried about looking awkward. We overthink what to say. We wait for the perfect moment that never comes. And we've become so focused on avoiding rejection that we often miss opportunities right in front of us. That's why, in this week's episode, I share 5 principles that can make flirting feel less overwhelming

One of the biggest misconceptions about family estrangement is that people do it lightly. They don't. And for many, the reality is far more painful… The truth is, most people don't create distance because they stopped caring. They do it after years, sometimes decades or even an entire lifetime, of trying to make the relationship work. The tragedy of estrangement is that it's often not a choice between connection and distance. It's a choice between preserving a relationship and preserving yourself. In this episode, I talk about why the growing backlash against estrangement misses that reality, and why what looks

For years, when I signed copies of Get the Guy, I would write the same message: Never settle. I still believe we should never settle for bad behavior, mistreatment, or a relationship that doesn't make us happy. But over time, I've come to see the idea of "settling" a little differently. These days, we're surrounded by endless options. And while that sounds like a good thing, it can make us constantly wonder if there's someone better just around the corner. As a result, we end up overlooking genuinely great people because they don't meet every requirement on our list. In this episode,

Most people spend years trying to change their lives by making dramatic, big moves. Yet even after those big moves, they find themselves facing the same frustrations, the same fears, and the same emotional patterns they thought they had left behind. Why does this happen? Well, there's something we all do that quietly keeps us trapped in the same experience of life, even when everything around us changes. Over the last 18 years of coaching, I've become skeptical of any advice that promises instant transformation. Real change is rarely dramatic and overnight. In fact, it's often so subtle that most

Red flags get all the attention in dating—but what about the warning signs that aren't dealbreakers? In this episode, Matthew and Stephen break down the difference between red flags and "amber lights" (or yellow flags), and why knowing the difference can save you from making a costly mistake. Some warning signs reveal a serious compatibility issue that shouldn't be ignored. Others may point to challenges that, when handled well, can actually strengthen a relationship. Join Matthew and Stephen as they put common dating scenarios to the test and explore how to tell the difference between a relationship that's worth investing