I don’t usually talk publicly about my weaker moments.
When you work in the self-help industry, everyone expects you to talk about the positive things in life: success, money, happiness, popularity, beauty, love… Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
No-one talks about feeling alone and loneliness enough. Everyone talks about success, money, popularity, beauty, fun…
But what about those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through. We have so much fear of revealing our naked, scared, suffering selves at times that we feel like it’s not valid to talk about our feelings of being alone.
Well, not today.
This may be one of the most personal videos I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most important…
Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that someone is listening.
Please leave a comment on the video and share your thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same as them.
“Your are not alone” was the best message you have ever shared. Thank you for being unedited and real. I think that Facebook, text and all the ways that we connect electronically mask what people are feeling. We can all write and post happy, funny, attention grabbing photo’s, but all of it can never replace looking in someone’s eyes and seeing how they are really feeling, hearing someone’s voice on the phone and asking them on the phone “Are you really doing OK?” And truly hearing their words. I believe we all are the same. We desire love, connection and community and a passion and purpose. Thank you for shining a light on this subject. Let us all look outside ourselves and truly see those around us. Let us be the one to be there when the loneliness becomes overwhelming for someone. Blessings to you.
I thought your video on being alone was inspiring! Many people suffer from mental instability in this world, widespread throughout all systems and genres! When I feel alone , I allow myself to feel deeply! Then I get on to gratitude and that keeps me balanced!
I guarantee you have helped sooooo many people with your uncut , raw version of loneliness!
I applaud you Matthew Hussey
Loneliness is the best thing ever happened to me. When my partner of 5 years left I thought I would die lonely and felt like I was the ugliest person, so bad I didn’t want to go out from home. With the days I embraced loneliness, did what I wanted to do, like going to the movies alone (that was my greatest personal achievement), then I pampered myself, then I started to go out, having new friends, then having dates, then I found you, got the get the guy program, applied it to my love life… 4 years later I’m married to the perfect “imperfect” guy for me. So thank you Matthew :’)
Hi
What is the best way to get a question and scenario to Matt Hussey? I have a question that does not seem to have been answered yet.
Thank you
Thank you for posting this raw unedited video. Your words may be just the thing that could save someone’s life.
April 4th will mark the 6 year anniversary of losing my very dear friend and roommate to suicide. I would have never thought that he was lonely. He was the outgoing big brother to everyone. But deep down he felt terribly lonely—that at 35 he didn’t have anything because he wasn’t married and didn’t have a wife. But as we honored him at his funeral and every year since, he was one of the most loved men I know.
Hopefully your video will be the light in the seemingly endless darkness of many people’s lives; giving them hope and solace knowing they are not alone.
Best wishes on your journey through love and life.
We love you Matt.
Thank you thank you thank you! This is a topic that is very difficult to talk about and one that needed to shed lighthe on. I have been struggling with my loneliness for a few years now and evertone would just shrug and say”enjoy the freedom and solitude” which I do but there are times when I feel when will I not come home alone. How long will I feel alone and not toture my heart and soul to think there is something wrong with me. Thank you for sharing and know I am not alone with this feeling.-izzy
I enjoyed this video, as Matthew is right we don’t talk about loneliness enough. I’ve certainly felt lonely. A most recent time was after going home for a visit and staying with family. Coming back to my own place without the company was lonely. So different.
First of all thank u for sharing. I feel this topic is one of the first struggles in life for years and we can’t get out of it yet. At the same time I feel like sharing Nd being conscious about it is the most important step that we can take ! So thank you! For point it out ! And show a enormous and fabulous change here ! I feel that we can brith that we can trust that we can grow I wish you to and all who wants to live the change the best!! With all of me!
Thank you Matthew for this video.
I enjoyed watching it very much.
What I like the most about you is that you seem to be a deep person.
I was thinking recently about the prejudices against people who appreciate solitude.
I am this kind of person.
I need to spend a lot of time alone in order to meditate, to think about existential questions, about sense of life, sense of love.
People tend to judge me because of this.
They don’t understand why I don’t like to go out very often and why I don’t mind being single.
The need for solitude is not very well understood in our society.
It if often view as selfishness, a-sociality.
Whereas I think that these periods of solitude make me able to form deeper connections with other people when I am having social interactions.
Also, I can relate about what you said about feeling alone with our opinions.
It is extremely hard to be surrounding with people who don’t share your values and your view of life.
In that regard, Internet has been a great opportunity for me to meet other people who share my very unusual opinions and view of life.
Very touching…. The world would be a much better place if people would be kinder to one another.
OMGoodness! I scrolled down on this page to read the comments…& found myself crying.. ;( So many people hurting…I just wanted to hug them all. <3 This video really struck "home" for me…. I love being in my own company…I don't have issue with going to a movie, restaurant, or concert by myself. Because, once you get there…you are not alone…you are with others who share the same interests… ;) It's all good! You are there because you all like the same thing. Food, movie, music…you all share a commonality in that moment.
I just find it heartbreaking to read these comments. It is a slice of real life…but it just makes me sad…That so many of us experience it, and we rarely talk about it. Thank you Matthew for being "real" with us…We wouldn't want it any other way. Hugs! We love you too! You are NOT alone. Looking forward to the Retreat! I am so very excited to meet you & your team. Not to mention your Mum & Dad. ;) <3
Hi Matt,
you brought tears to my eyes a bit :) when I was kid I felt really lonely because I was different and I didnt want or couldnt help myself to change it. I am optimistic, romantic and honest person and a bit crazy sometimes :D moreover I wasnt very pretty, so I was bullied (difficult to admit) I didnt have good friends for loong time. It was tough especially in teen age. I am lucky that I have great family and also amazing friends now (they love me despite the fact they dont understand me everytime :D) but now as I am older I live in different country for 1 year project and I am totally alone because it is small town with different language. BUT! I learnt how to be my best friend and love myself. I became very social person (somehow :D) and people started to like me more (also men :). You nailed it again Matt, thanks and I am sending big hug :)
Loneliness can come in waves and tsunami’s … Knowing that and seeing the beauty in it is what connects us and makes us alive.
Matt,
This video is so timely. I just attended a book signing for the author, Shasta Nelson, for her book Frietimacy. She suggested loneliness, although painful at times, is our inner self telling us our balance of friends and relationships from closest of them to our acquaints are out of wack and we need to do something about it. We continuously need maintain a spectrum of friends and constantly need to be making new friends and connections at all times. She also said the closest friends to us change, for the average person, roughly every seven years. Loneliness is something I’ve been thinking about a lot recently and today you message hit home and was particularly meaningful. Thank you
P.S. Would love to see Frientamcy on the list for book club. It would be interesting to hear perspective on it from you, Ed and Steve.
Life is shorter than we think. Matt, you have access to meeting thousands of women every year. Maybe decide what you want in a partner and seek her out. Put the same kind of energy into finding your significant other as you do building your career. It won’t make you less marketable if you are married. People will just see you leading by example and continue to respect your efforts. Maybe get married and have kids soon while that is an option. Don’t take for granted you have time to focus on that decades from now. Health can change. Circumstances can change. All that is for certain is this moment, the present. All the best.
Thank you for the video and addressing loneliness in such a kind and thoughtful light. Though I am aware that we are all having a “human experience” it is easy for me to foget that other people at times feel lonely too, and that does make me feel less alone oddly.
Hi Matt! Thank you for all of your motivational and inspiring videos….I really appreaciate watching every single one.
I think all of us can relate to your video posting ” You are not Alone” in one way or another. Loneliness and solitude are sometimes not easy to cope with this day and age.
I can definitely relate to being really lonely and feeling empty one point in my life. There were times when I would isolate myself from friends because I felt they didn’t understand me or they weren’t as supportive towards me regarding how I was feeling at the time. My friends would invite me to social events and gathering and I would decline them and instead I chose to stay home cry myself to sleep on the weekends.
I consider myself a very spiritual person and I would contemplate the reasons of why I was still a single person and didn’t like this feeling alone feeling. I wanted and desired so much to be in a committed relationship so badly. Little did I realize that I needed to go through this period or transition of loneliness and solitude to get to where I am now at this stage of my life.
The loneliness part of my life was a necessary life struggle experience that I needed to go through to help me put my life into prospective and served as a purposeful guide to getting my thoughts and life in order. Eventually with time l learned how to embrace it and accept it.
Loneliness can be a scary feeling but as you mentioned in your video, everyone at some point in their life will experience the challenges of loneliness and solitude. It’s absolutely a normal feeling.
I don’t miss my single life anymore however, I did learn a lot about myself during that transition period. Fast forward to the present…I’m no longer alone or living the life of solitude woman. I can report that I am happy to be in a committed long term relationship and we are both in it for the long haul. I found an amazing man that has been able to accept me with all my virtues, flaws and faults. I believe timing had a lot to do with it.
Morale of my story…loneliness is part of life we can’t avoid and it’s up to us to either embrace it with open arms and make a positive experience out of it or, let us consume us and make us feel absolutely miserable. The ball is in our court to call the shots.
Thank you Matt for allowing us to post comments about your wonderful videos.
Xoxoxo,
Elle
Thank you right now I am alone and knowing that I am not the only one it helps a lot. I do have purpose and we as people are together. I moved out of my boyfriends house 3 months ago and I want to go back but he said no and he thinks I have allll of these friends out here in the world I truely dont have friends I have co workers and aquantinaces but not true friends, so thank you for making this special video.
Matthew,
I appreciate how you break things down to those 1% moves when it comes to a relationship with a man or goals in life. I ask you then, what would be your advice of a 1% move to connect face to face with a person (platonic friend)?
Thank you for all your support,
Beth