I don’t usually talk publicly about my weaker moments.
When you work in the self-help industry, everyone expects you to talk about the positive things in life: success, money, happiness, popularity, beauty, love… Well, I don’t know about you, but my life certainly isn’t always sunshine and rainbows.
No-one talks about feeling alone and loneliness enough. Everyone talks about success, money, popularity, beauty, fun…
But what about those moments when we go back to our bedroom, close the door, and feel like no-one in the world understands the struggle we’re going through. We have so much fear of revealing our naked, scared, suffering selves at times that we feel like it’s not valid to talk about our feelings of being alone.
Well, not today.
This may be one of the most personal videos I’ve ever done, but it’s also one of the most important…
Whatever you’re going through right now, I want you to know that someone is listening.
Please leave a comment on the video and share your thoughts with others so that they know someone else is going through the same as them.
Hi, thanks for the video. It makes me feel less loneliness.
I appreciate your open and honest discussion on loneliness. It is something that I have struggled with intensely with. It stems mostly from not having someone who is right for me to love and be loved by. The man I thought was so right broke up with me a year ago. I have dated several men, but somehow feel just as lonely cause they just are not right for me. I feel intense loneliness when I go to social functions and it seems everyone is with someone and I am not. I feel that loneliness when I spend time with friends who are all married to someone they love and are loved by. I feel loneliness at work because co-workers talk about their spouses and boyfriends. No one seems to understand and make comments such as “you are lucky to be alone as you can do whatever you want”. That does not make me feel better. Anyway, thank you for your sincerity in this video.
Thank you, for your honesty. We are not ment to live life alone.
Matt, just wanted to say this was one of the most helpful videos I’ve seen yet. Purely honest and uncut was the way to go. Yes I admit I am one of those that feel lonely most of my life; feeling like I’m stuck between stages in life. I really appreciate this message targeting at least this audience of one….truly touched the deepest part of my heart. Thank you!
OK, so about a month ago I told one of my best guy friends about my boyfriend, who is absolutely amazing, and afterwards, he completely stopped talking to me, like altogether. Now, last week he FINALLY responded to me, but he was super hostile and said a bunch of HORRIBLE things to me, and yesterday he explained why. He said it was because he liked me and asked me to break up with MY boyfriend so I could be with HIM! What do I DO?!
I so related to your description on loneliness..Loneliness is on parr with depression as it’s such a taboo subject I have many friends around me that share the same passion as myself music :) which is great but when I return home & close my front door that’s when reality kicks in & get the feeling of being alone which flows with deep thoughts of how did I get to being alone ..? My decision that’s why … I lost both parents to cancer when I was young so I’ve had to deal with being alone from early childhood but sometimes I don’t mind being alone but now as I’m wiser & older I know that it doesn’t have to be this way as I have a huge warm heart filled with love which I give more of my heart to others than I give for myself .. I miss the sharing & caring part of a relationship & those deep felt hugs .. My loneliness comes from not allowing myself to be loved just now .. Motto at the moment is ? If you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve to have me at my best so when a friend ask me how am I ? I will speak the truth & say how I feel which is crap with feeling alone right now can we talk rather than me asking how others are & not allow myself to feel guilty for accepting a friendly ear .. I have listened to your blogs for awhile now & each time you hit the nail on the head .. You are the Bryan Adams song Straight from Heart ❤️ Much love & hugs Matt xx
Wow! Thank you so much, Matthew for sharing this side of you and how it relates to all of us. Loneliness is certainly a ubiquitous thing.
Someone once said to me, it’s like we are all pieces of a shattered mirror, striving to get back together again. My belief is that it exists on a deep spiritual level. We are all part of each other, and experience loneliness when we are apart. We all need each other. If we are kind and take care of each other, give love, we get it in return. That’s the only time that we experience being fulfilled. We have to empty our cups in order to make room to be filled again. That has been my experience.
That said, I think it’s even more difficult to deal with loneliness once you have experienced that kind of relationship that feels like you have met your twin soul or soul mate. Someone who you feel so immediately comfortable around, it feels like you have come home and that you are totally safe with this person. Your energies merge and you feel like you have finally found the heart connection you’ve been seeking. True ecstasy. Have you ever talked about that concept? Personally, having reached that level in a relationship makes it all the more difficult not to feel lonely when that person is not around, or perhaps due to other circumstances, has moved on. It intensifies the separation just as the closeness was intensified when you met.
I think we should look at loneliness as a sign or tool that’s given to all of us. It’s saying it’s time to reach out and give love, share ourselves.
Matt,
What I appreciate about you is that overtime you’ve developed a following and your influence has increased. And what you’ve done with that is to start to branch out on what you talk about, to talk about the experiences of our time. I think of this age and see loneliness as an epidemic, one that when it’s chronic is worse for us than obesity or smoking. Busyness, pressure, all these things contribute to it. It’s something I think often of and what I want to do about it. Sometimes I’m overwhelmed by the magnitude of it. Anyways, I’m thankful that you are using your platform now in these ways.
Hi I liked the vlog.
OUt of experience I know it id possible to be alone yet not lonely
I have had times where I felt extremely lonely. It is normally in crowd of people I don’t know. Over the last 4 years I have made a point of going out AND emerge with your interest.
It is okay to have multiple groupings of friends in often to connect in different ways.
Nice talk :-)
a beautiful message, so thank you ;)
I watched a movie recently that came to my mind when I saw your post: “How to be single”. It shows a nice side.
Bravo.
This is just an important message to share. I am glad that you did not take the advice of your co-producer and “craft” the video. I am subscribed to your service and have purchased a program from you . . . but I’m feeling a bit silly about doing so because I am a more “mature” person and likely the advice and guidance being offered is for younger people, looking to marry and start and family. I’ve done that and now look to re-enter the world of dating and find a partner for my future years that I can love and enjoy. But at this point, I will say that all advice is welcome and ideally something will rub off! Thank you for all your efforts.
Hi, thanks for the video i really do enjoy it.
Sometimes I forget that I’m not the only one who feels beinging alone, but looking at it in the angles you gave is not only satisfying but humbling at the same time. So thank you Matt
I am the saddest person in the entire universe.
;)
I appreciate the honesty and genuine frankness of the reality of being alone. I’ve learned a lot about myself from being alone but there’s also something to be said about learning about others as well.
Beautiful! And the imperfections made it perfect! Thank you!
Thank you for putting this on the table and addressing the reality of feeling alone. While I love and need time to myself, I crave community and close, connected relationships. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who feels disconnected and lonely at times, and sometimes the best move is to demistify the fear and let it hit the air. I know I feel better already.
Thank you Matt for being so real and honest and I’m glad you didn’t cut anything out! Coming from your heart i heard your soul and that is what motivates me-connecting with another, but it is staying connected that keeps me going, even in solitude and loneliness that connection keeps one moving forward, and what makes loneliness bearable. It is a human need that keeps us growing in a healthy way. This is also what brings love and healthy relationships. I think this is the core of what you are teaching. I have a lot to say but I don’t want to preach-except to say it feels so fresh to have your spirit guiding us to having healthy relationships on the Internet. Could you do more on gaining strong confidence and how to find and recognize healthy individuals to connect with and also more simple ways to meet and approach people without appearing desperate. Keep up the good work! And Gods blessings on you-sincerely, Julie
Just me again! I know you’re younger, but it seems you have a great number of older adults. If possible do you have any orientations for your over 50, 60, or 70 crowds? Thanks again for any ideas you can inform or pass along